


migs and gabby

by jongdaesang (d10smessi)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: Wikang Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-07 07:02:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 126,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15213740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d10smessi/pseuds/jongdaesang
Summary: fuckboy AU. that's it, that's the plot.





	1. meet migs and gabby

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNINGS** : this story contains various kinds of sexual content, drinking, and smoking among other things. i'm not promoting or encouraging anyone to do the stuff in this fic but i also can't control how you think. so i guess just be, like, conscious of your choices.
> 
>  **Re: TRANSLATION** \- i'm really sorry to people who don't understand filipino but i'm not allowing any translations of this fic to be posted. the story is very filipino. more than the language, it includes settings, slang, jokes, and overall social and cultural portrayals that are dearly filipino. 
> 
> **Re: CONTENT** \- the fic is an exaggeration. it's not an accurate presentation of people from these universities. please don't take this seriously. or at least, be responsible. thank you!

****

  


  


sabi ng marami, college will be the best years of your life and you need to make the most out of it. hindi alam ni jongin kung saan ng galing 'yun but he did make the most out of his college years. 

  


and dahil si jongin and bida rito, dapat meron siyang side kick—si chanyeol. chanyeol will be mad kapag nalaman niya na side kick lang siya but this is jongin’s moment kaya wala ng magagawa ang best friend niya.

  


kung isa itong movie, ganito siguro sila ipapakilala. with a malumanay male voice,

  


_meet jongin miguel kim. matalino, matangkad, medyo gago. everyone used to call him miggy pero pagdating ng eighth grade, he switched to migs. everyone adds s to the end of their nickname and miggy is no more._

  


_beside him, always beside him, is his best friend since childhood. classmates always, same school, same playground, same yosi brand. that is chanyeol gabriel park. gabby for short. he likes gabby kasi cute daw pero people also call him all sorts of nicknames—gab, gabs, daddy._

  


tapos, cut to the scene.

  


jongin is waiting sa loob ng house niya for his sundo. coding kasi ang car niya ngayon at naunahan na siya ng ate niya for the other car. ayaw naman niya magpahatid kay manong noy kasi senior na siya, may driver pa? hindi bagay sa image.

  


he knew that his sundo would be driving so he went to his contacts and hit call agad.

  


“gago, where you?” tanong ni jongin sa other line. 

  


“sorry. i got stuck sa traffic. lapit na ko, dude,” sagot nito.

  


“tangina, gabs, ‘pag tayo walang seat for histo i swear,” complain ni migs. fuck that coding rule talaga. dapat nag-grab na lang siya. less hassle and hindi niya kailangan ma-expose kay gabs this early.

  


“ _chill, miggy.”_

  


“puta ka. don’t call me miggy, _gabriel_ ,” madiin na reply ni jongin.

  


“hoy! bawal ‘yan,” sabi ni gabs na natatawa. “no one calls me gabriel except my lolo and lola. hindi mo ko katulad na gustong tinatawag ng miguel sa kama.”

  


“ _putangina,_ ” balik ni migs. tama naman si gabs but he didn’t have to say it. he didn’t have to expose him at 9 in the morning. the downside of their friendship is alam na nila lahat. they share everything.

  


_hold that thought_ , sasabihin ng malumanay na male voice serving as the narrator of the movie. _when migs thought of ‘sharing everything’, he didn’t expect that it would include a love interest_.

  


  


* * *

  


  


  


unfortunately, meron lang parking sa baba, doon sa may gilid ng PE covered courts. gabs was already cursing up a storm kasi kailangan nilang humabol sa class nila na nasa bellarmine THIRD floor pa. bel was malayo and if hindi ito ang first day ng class, magcu-cut na sana silang dalawa.

  


better absent than late, according to saint ignatius de loyola.

  


labas agad sila sa car. si chanyeol ay macbook, keys, and wallet lang ang dala. si jongin, same din, pero with addition of his tumblr na may lamang healthy protein smoothie. between the two of them, mas figure conscious si migs. siya yung may eight-pack abs at gamit na gamit na gym membership. 

  


palakad na sila pero nagstop bigla si chanyeol gabriel.

  


“fuck, sandale,” sabi nito. babalik na sana siya sa car but migs was quick to ask why.

  


“kuha kong hair tie,” sagot ni gabs. he ran his finger sa curly hair niya na abot na hanggang sa nape nito. it’s a little unruly and dahil sobrang init—kasing init nila—ang panahon, kailangan niyang ipony-tail ang buhok niya.

  


“gago ang arte naman kasi sa buhok,” reklamo ni migs. inalis niya ang suot niyang black New York Yankees baseball cap galing New Era at binato kay gabby.

  


“just wear this muna,” miguel said while walking faster papunta sa direction ng bel. according to profs to pick, ayaw ni dr. boa kwon sa mga latecomers. 

  


agad na nagthank you si gabs, pushing his hair back and wearing the cap backwards din. very classic porma—si gabby in his chino shorts and ralph lauren tee and si migs in his joggers and tight Chelsea dry fit jersey. 

  


nagmamadali silang pumunta sa bel, almost speed walking. pagdating nila sa stairs malapit sa mini caf, napamura si gabs.

  


“puta, freshies,” grumble nito. 

  


nagshrug lang si migs. between the two of them, he was the more cool and collected one. si gabby ang hot-headed. isang group ng freshies ang nakaharang sa stairs so of course, the two of them shouldered their way up.

  


malaki naman sila so it was easy. the two of them didn’t pay attention sa mga babae and lalaking nagdo-double take.

  


_rule number one, bawal freshies_. 

  


pagpasok nila sa room 305, saktong sakto na nagring ang bell. agad silang naghanap ng upuan na free na magkatabi but it seemed like everyone wanted to take dr. kwon para sa histo nila. 

  


kwon was notorious for being a good prof. mahirap ang workload pero may matututunan ka. she was passionate about philippine history, particularly the american colonial period. si jongin ang nagsuggest na i-take siya because of the challenge and gabby was the one who said yes kasi daw TILF.

  


malas lang sila dahil wala ng seat na magkatabi. lahat ay isa na lang na naka scatter. tangina. can’t people sit together and fill up the rows? may ibang sobrang gago lang na umuupo talaga sa gitna.

  


“dude, ‘yun oh.” it was gabby who called migs’ attention. “may free pang seats malapit sa window.”

  


migs glanced and sure enough, meron nga. he made his way first. akala niya noong una, isa na lang ang free na chair pero dalawa pala. there were two empty seats sa tabi ng window. umupo si chanyeol doon sa farthest sa aisle and jongin sat down beside him.

  


on jongin’s right was a guy na semi kalbo.

  


it stole his attention because his head was very round. as in. parang this is the first time that migs had seen someone with a head that perfect of a shape. ang weird in a cute way?

  


he was about to make pakilala but ma’am boa turned her laptop on and spoke.

  


“good morning, class,” she said. “welcome to philippine colonial history.” very motherly ng smile ni ma’am boa kwon. tama nga ang many comments sa prof to pick, hindi siya masungit—which is really what jongin looked for sa isang prof. 

  


“did you read the syllabus?” tanong ni ma’am boa. walang nagsabi ng yes and merong uneasy laughter sa room.

  


dahil medyo close ang seat ni jongin at ng katabi niya, narinig niya ang soft na _yes_ from his seatmate. migs tried to contain his laughter. ang cute naman nitong kalbo sa right niya, nagbabasa ng syllabus.

  


migs has yet to check his aisis account nga eh. 

  


buti na lang, nagshake ng head ang babaeng prof and hindi pa rin nagfalter ang smile niya, “that’s fine. i was a student once. i don’t think na binasa ko rin ang syllabus.”

  


natawa ang class. plus points to dr. kwon kasi she didn’t seem like one of those uptight profs. nilipat lang niya ang slides ng kanyang powerpoint and discussed the syllabus. 

  


syempre, migs relaxed sa upuan niya. sumandal ng mabuti and medyo nagmanspread. the arm chair was too small for him so nagstretch siya ng legs para hindi magbump yung tuhod niya sa kahoy. sobrang sure siya na gabby was experiencing the same thing.

  


miss boa kwon was discussing something nung in-elbow ni chanyeol si jongin.

  


“migs, dude,” sabi niya. nagcecellphone si gabs sa ilalim ng upuan, away from ma’am boa’s prying eyes and her “no phones in class” rule. “inom daw later? g ka?”

  


inisip ni jongin if pwede siya pero—

  


“ah bawal ako later,” he said, apologetic. laging apologetic kapag nakakatanggi sa inom. firm believer kasi siya na bawal sinasabihan ng no ang two things—consensual fuck, and free alak. “lola is dropping by for dinner.”

  


napangiwi si chanyeol. kilalang-kilala niya ang lola ng best friend niya. chanyeol gabriel and jongin miguel ang tawag nito sa kanila. laging full name, make no mistake. kahit na matanda na ito, and medyo forgetful na, she never forgets to go anywhere without two things—her rosary and her diamonds. she is a very intimidating woman kaya hindi masisisi ni gabby si migs kung hindi ito makaka-ditch sa family dinner.

  


favorite panakot nito ang tanggalan ng mana ang kanyang unico hijo apo na si jongin miguel.

  


nagulat silang dalawa both when ma’am boa kwon said, “okay. pair up.”

  


“what the fuck,” sabi ni migs without feeling. tumingin siya sa katabi niyang kalbo na tahimik lang na nakaupo. hindi gumalaw kahit an inch, parang statue. “what did she say?” 

  


tumingin si semi-kalbs and jongin, of course, smiled a bit. kailangan mukha siyang approachable. “um… ma’am said na we have to pair up for a project? it’s a research—topics will be posted na lang daw once the pairings are finalized.”

  


“oh,” sabi ni jongin. “thanks—uh… sorry? i didn’t get your name.” tumawa ng konti si jongin before ngumiti ng kanyang signature crooked smile. semi kalbs is cute ah—hindi niya type kasi mukhang mabait. ayaw ni migs ng ganito kasi inuunahan siya ng guilt.

  


“kyungsoo,” sabi ni semi-kalbs with a shy smile. ang quiet niya, very timid and mahiyain. even the way he sits small, cute din. he was not in a manspread, unlike migs and gabby.

  


“nice to meet you, kyungsoo. i’m jongin.”

  


sumingit naman si chanyeol na walang modo. lowkey papansin talaga at ayaw naiiwanan sa ere.

  


“or migs—you can call him migs.” napansin agad ni jongin ang charming smile ni gabby. _puta_ , isip niya. type ni gabs ito—maliit, cute, and most importantly, mahiyain. timid. migs had long suspected it was some sort of a kink pero never niyang inalam what went on in gabby’s bedroom (or car). 

  


“and i’m chanyeol nga pala. chanyeol gabriel—gabby for short.” 

  


ayan na nga ba ang sinasabi ni migs. narinig niya na ang ganitong linyahan ng best friend niya. magsisimula sa gabby, tapos magiging gab, and then gabs, tapos pagdating sa kwarto—iba na. 

  


kawawa naman si kyungsoo sa tabi niya.

  


nagsmile ito ulit. wow, heart-shaped. naisip ulit ni migs ang word na _cute_. actually, pwede na—pwede na rin si kyungsoo.

  


“nice to meet you,” he said softly. ano ‘ba naman ‘tong katabi ni jongin, ang hina ng boses.

  


naputol ang pagpapakilala nila to each other when ma’am boa’s voice echoed inside the classroom.

  


“does everyone have a partner?” she asked. “who's still free?”

  


walang nagtaas ng hand. obviously, hindi nagtaas ng kamay si migs and gabby. nagtinginan lang sila and they knew na na they would do the research together. contrary to popular belief, hindi sila patapon as students. medyo lazy but they worked well together. very clutch.

  


however, medyo hesitant si kyungsoo na nagraise ng hand. “ma’am—me. i have no partner yet.”

  


sadly, si kyungsoo lang ang nagraise ng hand. 

  


“we have two absences pa and baka hindi pa ito ang final class list. do you want to pair up and wait for those na wala or do you want to join a pair para maging trio?” hindi hinintay ni ma’am boa ang answer, it seemed na siya na ang sasagot for kyungsoo. “anyone want to work as a triad?”

  


walang nagtataas ng kamay ang migs felt gabby’s elbow against his bicep. pag tingin niya rito, merong smile na nakakaloko sa mukha ng best friend niya.

  


nagroll ng eyes si jongin. _sabi na nga ba_. what did he even expect?

  


“ma’am,” jongin raised his hand. “kami na lang—we’ll adopt him.”

  


nagsmile si ma’am boa. “that’s it then—pass a size four with your names and then you can go. read the syllabus and prepare for our next class.”

  


may gratefulness sa ngiti ni kyungsoo when he turned to the two of them.

  


“thanks,” sabi niya. kumuha siya ng isang buong intermediate pad from his brown leather backpack before sifting through the pages. meron na siyang pre-cute na size four.

  


prepared naman pala si kyungsoo.

  


sinulat nito ang name niya. jongin leaned in and crowded kyungsoo while chanyeol tried to extend his body as well para makita niya.

  


_kyungsoo do_ , sinulat nito.

  


“can i get your full names?” tanong ni kyungsoo.

  


“jongin miguel kim,” migs said. sinulat iyon ni kyungsoo carefully. malinis siya magsulat and maliit. medyo mataba ang letters. amusedly, jongin thought, _parang siya—maliit na mataba_.

  


“chanyeol gabriel park,” sabi ni gabby as he watched kyungsoo write his name din.

  


si kyungsoo na ang unang tumayo and jongin first noticed, well—

  


he first noticed the ass.

  


how could he not eh halos nasa harap na ng mukha niya?

  


pero hindi naman niya talaga kasalanan na mapansin ang pwet ni kyungsoo. parang if you’re in front of the empire state building, yun din mapapansin just for the sheer fact na MALAKI. ganon yun. 

  


kyungsoo had some enviable assets na medyo nagbounce when he had to step over his seatmate’s large backpack na nasa floor. thank you sa overachiever sa tabi ni kyungsoo na may dala na atang mga readings sa first day ng class sa laki ng bag. thank you talaga at medyo clumsy si kyungsoo dahil nagtrip ito ng konti. 

  


lalong tumalbog ang pwet niya and hindi ito naitago ng medyo loose jeans ni kyungsoo. napakasayang naman talaga. jongin couldn’t wait na uminit ang panahon. si kyungsoo kaya ang type na naka short shorts?

  


napansin din iyong ng best friend niya. he heard gabby whistle sa tabi niya and migs turned to look. sure enough, may smirk sa mukha nito. gabby found migs’ stare quick enough and his eyebrows wiggled.

  


“dibs,” sabi ni gabs.

  


“gago,” reply ni migs.

  


it was as good of a conversation as any.

  


  


* * *

  


  


  


kung tatanungin ang isang chanyeol gabriel park kung ano ang type niya sa babae at lalaki—ang unang answer niya ay mabilis na mabilis na “SMALLER THAN ME.”

  


migs always say na meron siyang size kink.

  


gabby would like to clarify na just because he could accept calling a spade, a spade, did not make him a bad person. in fact, it made him a better person than his best friend kasi ang best friend niya, nagdedeny pa pero alam na alam naman ni chanyeol na halos same lang sila ng type.

  


si migs kasi, ganito—gabby would like to clarify na mas mabait siya. at least, siya, hindi nangba-block kapag clingy na. one time pa nga, nagpanggap si migs na lilipat na siya abroad to finish his studies. naniwala ang girl na pinaasa niya until the moment na nagkasalubong sila.

  


naaalala ni gabby ang tunog ng sampal ni girl at ang subsequent, “ _what the fuck, man,”_ ng best friend niya. yung what the fuck man ni jongin parang hindi niya niloko yung babae at pinag-akala na sa UCLA na siya nag-aaral.

  


natawa siya ng slight and para siyang tanga outside starbucks katip. mag-isa lang siya sa table niya with his macbook na nakaopen, connected to his phone’s personal hotspot, and isang grande iced americano with one packet of splenda. 

  


he lazily scrolled sa track pad niya, checking latest news sa la liga. unlike jongin who firmly believed na the premier league is the best football league in the world, gabby preferred the spanish league.

  


hala madird y nada mas! isa siyang die-hard ronaldo fan. out of lahat ng similarities niya with his best friend, one thing na never nasettle is sino ba ang best in the world.

  


migs, the illiterate, thought it was messi. gabby, the intellectual, believed and knew na it was ronaldo. 

  


madalas itong source ng away nila with comparison pa ng stats though it made playing fifa easier kasi hindi sila nag-aagawan sa team. 

  


medyo bored na siya so of course, isa lang ang sagot diyan. the main reason bakit siya nasa labas—to smoke.

  


nilabas niya yung pakete niya ng marlboro lights and yung bright pink plastic lighter niya. it started as a joke nung high school sila ni migs and until now, bright pink pa rin ang lighter na gamit niya while si migs naman ang gamit ay light purple. 

  


he lit one stick and nilagay between his lips. he took a drag and allowed the smoke to fill his lungs saglit before inhaling. binagalan niya yung pagblow to create a fog sa harap niya. inulit-ulit niya ito until halos maubos ang yosi. 

  


_inhale. exhale. inhale. exhale._

  


when it cleared up, aba, surprise, surprise—si kyungsoo from histo, pumasok sa door ng starbucks.

  


alam na alam ni gabby na si kyungsoo iyon. he won’t mistake that ass from anywhere. he bit his bottom lip and nilagay muna sa ash tray ang cigarette.

  


he pulled up his and migs’ chat sa macbook niya.

  


**gabs: dude guess who walked in just now sa starbs**

****  


**migs: who**

****  


**gabs: u r no fun sabi ko guess**

****  


**migs: tangina gabriel ano ba i’m busy**

  


ito talagang si jongin miguel, walang sense of humor. well, hindi naman siya masisi ni chanyeol kasi nakaka-bv naman talaga maging class beadle. sa class na hindi sila magkaklase, navolunteer si migs ng prof mismo to be the beadle. kaya ayan tuloy, kailangan niyang ipa-photocopy ang readings.

  


**gabs: ayt**

**gabs: kyungsoo from histo walked in sa starbs**

****  


**migs: oh and then**

****  


**gabs: ANO BA**

**gabs: he’s hot**

****  


**migs: pweds na**

**migs: not my type**

****  


**gabs: alam ko na yang ‘pweds na’ na yan eh**

**gabs: but naka dibs na ko so**

****  


**migs: gago ka**

**migs: eh di make a move**

**migs: don’t chat me up**

****  


**gabs: fine gago**

**gabs: dalian mo**

  


chanyeol closed the chat with migs and isang hithit pa ulit ng yosi. sakto ang vantage point niya and kitang kita niyang nakapila si kyungsoo. he’s last sa line so walang nakaharang sa line of sight ni gabby to see his target—aka ang pwet ni kyungsoo. ang tambok talaga.

  


gabby is an ass man, aaminin na niya. babae man or lalake. he’s not much for boobs kaya when kyungsoo stood up noong histo, nakita ni chanyeol gabriel ang maliwanag na kinabukasan at ang malaking kasiguraduhan.

  


kasiguraduhan of fucking, to clarify lang.

  


tapos na mag-order si kyungsoo and iniikot nito ang mata niya to, presumably, find a seat. nagclick ng tongue si gabs. tough luck, kyungsoo—wala ng seat sa loob.

  


of course, chanyeol gabriel park is raised as a gentleman. tumayo siya, left all his things saglit, and went to the door. he pushed it open, making sure na kitang kitang ang pagflex ng malaki at masarap niyang bicep before calling out.

  


“uy, kyungsoo!” nagsmile siya na kunwari surprised, as if hindi niya pinapanood si kyungsoo na pumasok at umorder.

  


nagliwanag mata ni kyungsoo as he rushed to the door.

  


“hi,” sabi nito with a smile. “chanyeol, right?”

  


“ano ba,” sabi ni chanyeol. hawak pa rin niya yung door so sige, flex pa. “sabi ko ‘di ba gabby or gabs na lang? pwede rin gab.”

  


natawa si kyungsoo, “dami mo namang nicknames.”

  


tumawa rin si chanyeol and naglean down. he made sure na malapit siya kay kyungsoo. he saw the shorter male na nagscrunch ng nose ng slight.

  


“are you alone?” _let it not be said na mabagal si gabby_. 

  


“ah oo,” sabi ni kyungsoo. hawak hawak niya yung tray niya as he stepped outside of starbs. napansin ni chanyeol ang order ni kyungsoo—mango flavored greek yogurt parfait with tall iced tea. 

  


“sit with me na,” offer ni gabs. he grabbed kyungsoo’s tray na rin and walang nagawa ang shorter male kung hindi ibigay ‘to. “i’m actually waiting for miggy eh. remember him? jongin miguel kim?”

  


“i remember him,” sagot ni kyungsoo. 

  


they made their way sa table ni gabby. as expected, nandoon pa rin ang gamit niya. halos mamatay na ang naiwang cigarette ni chanyeol so kinuha na niya ito to kill the embers against the glass ash tray.

  


binaba niya yung tray ni kyungsoo at hinila ang chair para makaupo ang binata.

  


binaba ni kyungsoo yung bag niya sa isang chair before he grabbed his drink and food. nilagay niya yung tray sa kabilang table para hindi masikip and punched the straw sa hole ng plastic cup. 

  


gabby watched the way thick lips wrapped around the thin straw as humigop si kyungsoo ng inumin niya. it’s nothing bastos naman pero hindi inalis ni gabs ang tingin niya dito. kyungsoo ripped the lid of his yogurt and added the granola mix. of course, pinanood pa rin siya ni chanyeol as he stirred everything.

  


nag-jiggle ng konti ang arm ni kyungsoo pero hindi turn off. cute. hindi ganoon kahilig si gabby sa malaman (that’s more of migs’ type) pero he would admit na type na type niya talaga si kyungsoo in general.

  


bago pa maisubo ni kyungsoo ang spoonful niya ng yogurt, nakarinig sila both ng isang drag of, “ _gaaagggoooo,”_ na paparating.

  


migs, of course.

  


nagrush ito sa table nila tabi kay kyungsoo. medyo umusog ng kaunti si kyungsoo to give migs the space to manspread his fucking legs.

  


“hi, jongin,” sabi ni kyungsoo. natawa si gabs—ang kulit naman nito.

  


“nah, call me migs,” sabi ng best friend niya. of course. ngumiti ito kay kyungsoo and added, “i’m glad na you remember my name.”

  


natawa si kyungsoo. “of course—you saved me kanina during histo.”

  


nagnod lang si migs and gabby. they wouldn’t call what they did ‘saving’ kasi hindi naman talaga nila yun gagawin kung, for example, kyungsoo did not look like kyungsoo. asshole, yes, pero they really preferred to work together lang para hindi hassle to coordinate.

  


adopting kyungsoo to form a triad, admittedly, was not out of the goodness of their hearts but the hardness of their dicks.

  


“ako lang kasi sa class na ‘yun,” explain ni kyungsoo while taking in a small amount of yogurt. “my friends took it na last year but i ran out of slots to take ma’am boa. eh gusto ko talaga so i man reg.”

  


“ah talaga,” sabi ni gabby. “you seemed so shy nga kanina eh nung nagpe-pair up.”

  


ngumiti lang si kyungsoo and nagshake ng head. “i’m not the type kasi. nakakahiya to just come up to someone and ask if you can be partners. lalo na since it’s a major research. kaya i’m glad na kayo na ang nagvolunteer.”

  


may mahinang _ehehe_ sa end ng statement ni kyungsoo. as in, _ehehe_ talaga. shit naman. ang cute niya talaga, migs and gabby thought parehas.

  


napansin ni migs ang kinakain ni kyungsoo and he pointed to the yogurt and the iced tea.

  


“yan lang kakainin mo for lunch?”

  


tumango si kyungsoo around his spoonful of greek yogurt.

  


“are you full na with that?” gabby’s eyes narrowed sa tono ni migs. “you want me to get you something pa?”

  


umiling lang si kyungsoo before migs shrugged and went inside to order. naiwan ulit si gabby and si kyungsoo and of course, chanyeol took this as his chance.

  


“so kyungsoo,” he began. “what’s your course.”

  


“IS,” sagot ni kyungsoo. IS is short for interdisciplinary studies. 

  


“nice ah,” sabi ni gabby kahit na wala naman siyang alam. “what’s your track?”

  


“econ and polsci,” answer ni kyungsoo.

  


“uy coincidence,” sabi ni gabby. “migs is also taking econ as a minor. we’re both management majors pala. honors si migs kasi mas strict ang parents niya.”

  


natawa si kyungsoo sa joke ni gabs. galing talaga—also, cute din tumawa si kyungsoo. lahat ata dito cute—sana pati…

  


gabby stopped that train of thought. maaga pa for that ah. hind siya galawang migs na mabilis. he liked to get to know his partners, make friends ganon. si migs kasi, as a management major, parang business ang fucking. professional and no strings attached.

  


si gabby, he liked having as many strings as possible. 

  


isa ulit ito sa kaibahan nila. before pasiya makareply, nagping ang imessage ni chanyeol.

  


**b: hey u busy**

****  


**gabs: no naman y**

****  


**b: well**

**b: i’m down if ur down**

  


napangiti si gabby. actually, hindi siya napangiti. he smirked. 

  


**gabs: only if i go down on u**

  


amputa ang cheesy. pero b liked ang ganitong mga linyahan.

  


gabby turned an apologetic face kay kyungsoo before saying, “sorry, kyungsoo ah. i have to go.”

  


mukhang wala naman pake si kyungsoo—which is kinda bad kung iisipin ni gabs pero hindi ito ang focus niya for now. 

  


“sige lang,” reply ni kyungsoo with a short nod. “i’ll tell jong—i mean, migs—na lang.”

  


“okay. thanks, kyungsoo,” reply ni chanyeol habang nagliligpit siya ng gamit. he stacked everything—phone, yosi, lighter—on top of his macbook before tugging the black hair tie na nasa wrist niya. he dropped the cap sa table and said, “kay migs yan,” to kyungsoo.

  


he noticed na pinapanood siya ni kyungsoo with mild curiosity so of course, gabby being gabby, he flexed habang nag-iipit. very unnecessary as he put he gathered his hair in a low and messy ponytail.

  


afterwards, he grabbed his things and patted kyungsoo sa back nito. medyo napalunok si gabs. kyungsoo had a narrow back and his hand—his hand looked so big against sa likod ng kasama niya. 

  


gusto pa sana humirit ni gabby but he had to go. one of the things b hated the most was mga taong late who would waste his time. he gave a curt bye kay kyungsoo and made sure to smile a crooked and charming smile before siya umalis.

  


he tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ears as he walked to his car. it’s not like the hair would stay in place—b did like pulling on it.

  


  


  


  


  



	2. meet kyungsoo and b

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no, kyungsoo and b are not gonna end up together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also no, i'm not gonna translate

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_ meet kyungsoo do. maliit, malaki ang pwet, malapit ng bumagsak ang grades. he’s a certified halaman kasi for some reason, kahit na sampalin na siya ng panglalandi sa pwet niya, hindi pa rin niya ito mapapansin. kyungsoo is the type of bida na hindi alam na siya ang bida sa sarili niyang pelikula. _

 

medyo awkward si kyungsoo while waiting for jongin miguel to come back. pagka-alis kasi ni chanyeol, sakto na migs was already waiting for his order sa side ng counter. binagalan ni kyungsoo ang pagkain niya kasi he knew na mas awkward kapag ubos na food niya tapos si migs may kinakain pa. hindi naman niya ito pwedeng iwanan kasi that would be rude, di ba?

 

don’t get him wrong ah! he really was grateful na sinagip siya ni migs and gabby by adopting him to their pair to form a triad. si kyungsoo kasi, tanga and mahiyain ng sobra. sadly, wala talaga siyang kakilala sa class. the thing pa was nakalimutan niya yung salamin niya ang thankfully naman na wala pang important na ganap dahil first day pa lang naman ng classes. 

 

he scrolled muna sa twitter niya and RT-ed a sexbomb girls joke. sexbomb ang favorite niyang girl group kasi it brought back memories of his childhood and his yaya watching eat bulaga. naaalala pa niya ang pagstage niya ng protest sa harap ng gate nila when he was a kid nung napalitan ang sexbomb girls ng EB Babes. 

 

anyway, pagka-rt na pagka-rt niya dumating na si migs kim. hindi niya ito napansin until the very moment na he placed his tray in front of kyungsoo. he had a tall cup of iced tea rin, like kyungsoo, and isang plate na meron slice of new york cheesecake and isang plate na merong slice of chocolate cake.

 

“um,” sabi ni kyungsoo. “gabby said he had to leave na.”

 

nagnod lang si migs as if hindi na bago ang iwanan siya ng best friend niya in the middle of the day. _same_ , isip ni kyungsoo. 

 

he pointed sa baseball cap na iniwan ni gabriel park sa table and added, “it’s yours daw.”

 

"ah yeah,” sagot naman ni migs as he sat down sa tabi ni kyungsoo. instead of manspreading, nagcross siya ng legs, yung nasa taas was pointing to kyungsoo’s direction. body language psychology pointed out na this was a sign that, at least, the person liked you.

 

mabuti naman, kyungsoo thought. unlike gabs kasi, migs seemed masungit. polite like during their histo class pero he wasn’t sure how the other male would act now that gabby was not here to buffer between the two of them and maybe mediate their conversation.

 

sucks to be kyungsoo talaga, he thought.

 

“hey,” sabi ni migs out of the blue as he punched the straw sa plastic cup niya. he nudged the tray of cake sa direction ni kyungsoo. “here—i didn’t know what you liked so i got two cakes…”

 

nagtrail off si jongin miguel and kyungsoo stared at the taller man with wide eyes. parang ang bait naman pala ni migs. baka naman mukha lang siyang masungit. kyungsoo was the same din, always being thought na mataray and unapproachable siya just because of his astigmatism. for everyone’s information, he’s sweet and thoughtful (sabi na rin ng maraming tao aka his best friends, his parents, and his ex na nasa london na ngayon). 

 

“thanks,” sabi niya. hesitant siya kumuha ng cake so he turned to migs and joked, “haha i thought you’re eating both cakes.”

 

natawa naman si miguel and suddenly parang hindi na awkward kahit na they’re making unnecessary small talk. siguro may superpowers si migs that allowed him to instantly befriend people. mali nga ata talaga si kyungsoo sa assumption niya na jongin miguel kim was an asshole. nagsend ng small sorry si kyungsoo sa imaginary migs for judging him—his mom didn’t raise him this way.

 

“no!” sabi ni miguel with a small laugh. “i don’t even like cakes.”

 

nagsmirk ito ng slight before nagflex ng kaunti. medyo nabother si kyungso kasi _for why?_ well, truth to be told, hindi talaga niya gets why guys would flaunt their abs and their biceps pero baka rin dahil ito sa fact na wala siyang abs and biceps to flaunt. the only workout na ginagawa niya was pilates and that’s because his mom said na tatangkad siya because of this since his body will be stretched.

 

news flash: hindi siya tumagkad pero he liked the results naman so he continued doing it. however, he was so sure na jongin miguel was not the type to do pilates (or pilates only) as a work out.

 

hindi naman tinatanong ni kyungsoo pero migs added, “bawal sa diet plan ko eh.”

 

“really,” sabi ni kyungsoo. “sayang naman yung other cake.”

 

he took the plate of new york cheesecake kasi tama ang choice ni migs. favorite niya ang cheesecakes.

 

“nah it’s ok,” sabi ni migs. “babalik din si gabby since he’s my ride home. kakainin niya ‘yan.”

 

nagshrug si kyungsoo. hindi naman niya pera ang ginastos niya so it’s not like he particularly cared outside of the issue of food waste. as long as hindi masasayang yung other cake, okay lang.

 

sumubo ng maliit na bite si kyungsoo. ang totoo niyan was nagdidiet dapat siya but as usual, like any other diets, nandoon pa lang siya sa phase na _bukas na lang ako magst-start_. nakakailang bukas na rin si kyungsoo but kasya pa naman mga pants niya so he figured sa susunod na lang siya magpapanic.

 

“oh by the way,” sabi ni migs. “can i get your number nga pala? and i’ll add you on facebook na rin.”

 

napatingin si kyungsoo kay migs. “huh?” he said stupidly. ito talagang si kyungsoo, ang slow. 

 

natawa si migs and naglean back ito. kyungsoo felt the man resting his elbow sa back ng upuan niya this time. ano ba ‘yan parang hindi naiitan ‘tong si migs—ang lapit ah. of course, hindi naman nilayo ni kyungsoo sarili niya kasi baka maoffend si jongin miguel. he owed it to him and to gabby kung bakit hindi niya makaka-pair yung student na first day pa lang, cut na.

 

“for the histo research, kyungsoo,” sabi ni migs slowly, patiently. 

 

tempted si kyungsoo na magsorry underneath migs’ stare. he had no idea why siya mag-aapologize but migs had that sort of aura na parang lagi kang may ginawang mali.

 

he’s so intimidating and lowkey scary, unlike gabs na very warm and friendly.

 

“ah ‘o nga pala,” kyungsoo replied. okay medyo embarrassing. itong si kyungsoo tanungan lang ng number kinabahan na agad.

 

binigay ni migs ang iphone x niya kay kyungsoo and kyungsoo immediately put his number sa contacts niya. migs took it and very deliberately showed na he’s typing _histo kyungsoo._ may distinction, grabe. kailangan ba ni migs ng reminder kung saan niya nakilala or paano niya nakilala ang isang tao? weird.

 

migs opened his facebook app din and he asked, “what’s your facebook name?”

 

“kyungsoo do,” he said. may _hehe_ sa end ‘cause kyungsoo is that kind of person. dahil sobrang close ni migs sa kanya, he can see the other male typing sa search bar ng facebook. mabilis naman nag-appear ang suggestion ng name ni kyungsoo so jongin clicked it agad.

 

“huh,” jongin miguel said. “we have lots of mutual friends pala.” tumingin ito kay kyungsoo with a smirk and medyo teasing na nag-add, “sayang we only met now lang, no?”

 

“ha? talaga?” reply ni kyungsoo. nagvibrate ang phone niya to signal na nareceive na niya ang friend request ni migs so he unlocked it with his thumb print and opened the notification. he accepted migs’ friend request, syempre, and found na—

 

“you know sehun?” 

 

“yeah…” drawl ni migs. parang naghang sa ere yung syllable niya for a moment before he added, “we were in cads since freshies kami.”

 

“were? what happened?”

 

jongin shrugged, “i know na mahirapan ako i-balance CADS with being a senior on top of everything else eh. and you know MH has thing retention thing? like, bawal ka magka-C twice eh i have one C na so i have to drop CADS and focus on my last year already.”

 

“is that so?” sabi ni kyungsoo. he can’t relate kasi hindi naman honors program ang course niya, thankfully. hindi kaya ng last two brain cells ni kyungsoo ang rigor ng something as strict as management-honors.

 

nagscroll si jongin sa profile ni kyungsoo and said, amused, “A high ka pala ah.”

 

nagroll ng eyes si kyungsoo. “please—no one calls it A high.”

 

“i was kidding,” tawa ni jongin. he looked at kyungsoo pa with his singkit and disappearing eyes. cute naman may dimples siya. hindi naman ata talaga masungit si jongin miguel. kyungsoo felt at ease na agad. 

 

“you’re from?” tanong ni kyungsoo. 

 

hindi na kasi siya nagscroll sa profile ni jongin after accepting though yes, marami nga silang mutual friends. funny at never silang nagkakilala but that was also probably due to the fact na kyungsoo was not the type to socialize outside of his closest friend group. maraming acquaintances but they usually remained as that—acquaintances. 

 

“la salle greenhills,” mabilis na sagot ni migs. “gabby din. we’re both from GH.”

 

why was kyungsoo not surprised?

 

“wait GH?” sabi niya. “so you know jongdae? JD Kim?”

 

nagnod excitedly si jongin. “of course i do! we’re not super close or anything but he’s pretty popular. why? you know him also?”

 

“yup,” answer ni kyungsoo. “he’s, like, one of my close friends ever since freshies pa. we shared the same enlit class kase.”

 

“oh nice naman. wala akong naka-close sa enlit block ko eh,” migs said with a hint of disappointment. he looked and was very comfortable crowding kyungsoo’s space already. “were you the type of block na nag-outing after the sem?”

 

“yup!” kyungsoo nodded. “we went to EK!” he proudly said. 

 

he didn’t get close to everyone naman but he did get close to a few. jongdae was one of the closest and in fact, they treated and considered each other as best friends. 

 

“that sounds fun ah,” sabi ni migs. he took a sip of his iced tea and kyungsoo noticed na paubos na ito “our block was ayt lang kasi. definitely no outings.” 

 

nag tap si jongin miguel sa phone niya and then continued, asking kyungsoo, “do you have a snap?”

 

kyungsoo is not sure kung ibibigay niya ba snap niya because his snap name is pretty embarrassing. definitely an inside joke.

 

medyo nag-aalangan siya and siguro nahalata ni migs yun. he raised his hand and added, “no pressure if ayaw mo ibigay. i ask everyone their snaps eh. it’s not a big deal.”

 

ayaw naman magmukha ni kyungsoo na idiot sa harap ng bagong friend (?) niya so he said, “ah no—hahaha.” he laughed ng slight, ducking his head para iwasan ang tingin ni migs. “my username is kinda embarrassing.”

 

“what is it?” lalong nacurious si jongin miguel. he leaned closer pa and he even wrapped his arms na around kyungsoo’s shoulders. yung previously lang na nasa back ng chair, nasa katawan na niya.

 

parang hindi naman ata comfortable ang position nila what with sitting sa magkaibang single chairs. hinayaan na lang ito ni kyungsoo. baka like jongdae, clingy and touchy siguro talaga si migs.

 

“hindi ako tatawa—promise,” sabi ni migs.

 

“fine,” reply ni kyungsoo with a laugh. “it’s—”

 

hindi narinig ni migs most likely so he turned a questioning glance kay kyungsoo, said, “sorry? i didn’t catch that.”

 

“i said,” kyungsoo huffed. “it’s sexbombksoo—small letters lahat, no anything.”

 

nakita ni kyungsoo ang pagpause ni jongin miguel sa sagot niya. sabi na nga ba—nakakahiya ang snap niya. he thought it was cute pero he knew na others would not get the joke.

 

“sorry?” sabi ni jongin, confused. “did you say—”

 

“yes. that’s my snap name,” sagot na madiin ni kyungsoo. he glared at jongin miguel and the taller male paused before, of course, he laughed.

 

his whole body shook while he was laughing and kyungsoo watched with a rapidly reddening face sa reaction ni migs. oh my god. sabi niya hindi siya tatawa,

 

hinampas ni kyungsoo si migs. ang tigas—siya pa yung nasaktan.

 

“migs, stop!” sabi ni kyungsoo with complaint. “sabi mo you won’t laugh.”

 

he pouted pa and migs straightened himself as he wiped the budding tears sa mata niya. ang OA naman. first time ba niya makarinig ng word na sexbomb,

 

“where did you even get the name sexbombksoo?”

 

in-add siya ni jongin sa snap and kyungsoo kind of felt embarrassed kasi yes jongin’s snap is a simple migskim. so he had a sense of humor—wala namang masama doon.

 

“it’s an inside joke,” he explained. his ears were so red na and jongin miguel was still staring at him. thankfully, hindi mocking ang tingin nito. more of amused. “you know sexbomb girls? they’re my favorite kasi.”

 

nagsnort si migs and kyungsoo felt the other man tap the thigh closest to him. hinimas ni migs yun shortly in a comforting gesture and migs smiled down at him.

 

“ang funny mo,” sabi nito. kinuha ni migs ang phone niya and opened the camera app. “let’s take a pic, i wanna show you off sa instagram story ko.”

 

um… hindi alam ni kyungsoo ano ang protocol dito. selfie agad? they just met ah. hindi naman siya maka-no dahil hawak na ni migs ang phone in front of the both of them. he scooted closer sa tabi ni kyungsoo and wrapped his arms sa shoulders niya ulit. 

 

ang touchy, isip ni kyungsoo. he didn’t mind naman kasi migs was warm and sort of comfortable despite the fact na medj matigas siya because he’s muscular—borta, kyungsoo corrected himself. all the cool kids called it borta. 

 

jongin was quick sa pagpicture dahil maganda ang light and well, hindi naman sila pangit dalawa. he posted sa instagram and asked, “is sexbombksoo your instagram name too?”

 

“no!” reply ni kyungsoo in defense of himself. “it’s just ksoodo.”

 

“okay,” sabi ni jongin miguel. “i followed you na rin.”

 

before pa sumagot si kyungsoo, migs pulled out something from his bag and kyungsoo resisted the urge to scrunch his nose. it’s a pack of marlboro lights followed by a plastic lighter in lavender color.

 

“hey,” sabi ni jongin miguel. he tapped the end of the pack against his palm and plucked one stick. “mind if i smoke, kyungsoo?”

 

migs even tilted the pack to kyungsoo’s direction in a silent and universal gesture of mutual smoking. nagscrunch ng nose si kyungsoo as he shook his head. well, it’s not like he had to tell jongin off kasi this was the smoking area. he’s the one sitting sa labas kasi wala ng seats inside so he could not exactly complain.

 

“um, sure pero can you, like, do it sa table next to ours?” tanong ni kyungsoo. migs looked a little annoyed, a little lang naman.

 

he didn’t even _know_ why he had to explain himself but migs, thankfully, nodded. he picked his yosi and his lighter tapos lumipat ng table. he made sure na he’s sitting pa rin where kyungsoo and he would be able to talk so there’s that. kyungsoo sighed thankfully. apparently, hindi galit si migs sa kanya or something.

 

he hated complicated things so mas mabuti na na everything was amicable even if the reason, if ever, would be as petty as smoking. 

 

in-angle niya yung chair niya rin para mas magkakitaan sila ni migs and he watched as jongin lit up his yosi. parang national geographic, kyungsoo saw the way the cig slipped between migs’ lips before he cupped the end with his palm. he rolled the small wheel on his light purple lighter and nudged it down. tinapat niya yun sa end ng stick as it burned.

 

pinanood ni kyungsoo the way migs inhaled the smoke before siya nag-exhale.

 

the moment nagtama ang mata nila, merong nakakalokong smile sa mukha ni migs. 

 

“you sure na ayaw mo?” tanong nito.

 

kyungsoo shook his head. “i had asthma as a child so…”

 

this time, migs looked genuinely apologetic, “oh shit, kyungsoo, sorry. you should have said kanina and i wouldn’t have smoked.”

 

“it’s fine,” he replied. “i’m the one sitting outside sa smoking area.”

 

migs took that as it was and kyungsoo saw him smile sheepishly. 

 

“sorry talaga,” sabi nito as he continued to smoke pa rin. “i’m not a chain smoker naman, you know? but it’s become a bad habit. gabby is worse though.”

 

nagnod lang si kyungsoo. he smelled nga kanina cigarette smoke around gabby. the scent was lying underneath the smell of the taller male’s perfume. 

 

“no really, it’s fine,” sabi ni kyungsoo. migs was blowing the smoke away from him din so there’s that. hindi na rin naman siya hinihika. more of caution na lang siya just in case.

 

“speaking of gabby,” sabi ni migs. the cigarette was between his fingers as the butt rested over the ash tray. “did he tell you where he’s going?”

 

“you don’t know?”

 

okay, medyo weird na they were talking two tables apart so natawa si kyungsoo.

 

“hey, why are you laughing?” tanong ni migs indignantly. kyungsoo stole a look and hindi naman mukhang inis si migs so he just snickered, unable to hold it in. 

 

“wala kasi it’s weird na we’re talking a table apart.”

 

migs shook his head in blatant amusement. “ikaw kasi eh. you’re a baby who can’t handle cigarette smoke.”

 

nagpout si kyungsoo. “excuse me. i care for my health, okay.”

 

natawa lang si migs doon and he stared at kyungsoo for a bit to the point na pati si kyungsoo himself na-awkward-an na. ang intense ng titig ni jongin miguel—as in, in10se. 

 

“anyway,” nag glare ng kaunti si kyungsoo kay migs. “i don’t know where gabs went pero he got a text tapos alis agad siya.”

 

tumaas kilay ni migs. “he left agad because of a text? it’s either an emergency or a fubu.”

 

medyo na-scandalize si kyungsoo sa nonchalant na pagsabi ni jongin. like everyday lang i-ditch siya ng best friend niya for a fuck buddy.

 

he didn’t realize na nasabi niya ito out loud until the moment na natawa ulit si migs. 

 

“not naman everyday. siguro mga once a week.” nagshrug ulit si migs. “it’s probably his favorite fuck buddy if willing siya umalis in the middle of the day for a quickie.”

 

grabe. kung makapag-usap about fubu parang hindi lunch hour sa smoking area ng starbs katip ah. very chill lang. kyungsoo has definitely had some experience pero he’s not the type to talk about it out in the open like what migs was doing right now. 

 

“well—” wala siyang masabi. “more power to him?”

 

lumakas ang tawa ni jongin miguel and his eyes were twinkling when he looked at kyungsoo.

 

“alam mo? ang cute mo rin pala.”

 

and of course, namula si kyungsoo kasi what the hell—saan galing ‘yun?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

gusto lang sanang i-maintain ni B na kahit na ano pa ang mangyari, kahit na ano pang evidence na magsuggest otherwise, matalino siya. he is a philosophy major from the department of humanities with a QPI of 3.78.

 

so si mr. philosophy major with a 3.78 QPI is about to open the door of his studio unit—

 

_record scratch. freeze frame_. _yup, that’s me._

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_ meet baekhyun byun, also known as B. B can stand for baekhyun, or byun, or baby, or bitch, or baklang kinama lang at iniwan. the thing is, yes, matalino si baekhyun with his magna cum laude QPI pero like superman, meron din siyang kryptonite. _

 

baekhyun pulled the door open and of course, he wasn’t surprised to find the person waiting at his door. bakit naman magugulat siya eh siya ang unang nagtext sa kanilang dalawa? 

 

nilabas na niya lahat ng kalandian in his body. he smiled coyly and said, “hi, gabs. i’m so glad you can make it.”

 

pumasok si chanyeol gabriel park sa condo niya. the first thing he did the moment magclose ang door was to give baekhyun a kiss on the lips. it was very chaste and innocent lang, a small peck that was a promise of what was to come (yes, pun intended) later.

 

“why wouldn’t i?” sabi nito. walang any any, ang bilis bilis at 120 kilometers per hour, nasa pwet na agad ni B ang malapad na kamay ni gabby. he groped and gave it a hard squeeze, fingers cupping underneath where baekhyun’s asscheek met his leg. binigyan ni gabby ng forceful and aggressive na lift before whispering hotly sa tenga ni B, “anything for my favorite baby.”

 

umungol si baekhyun kasi yes, ang sarap na manglamutak ng isang gabby park. pero at the same time, ouch. _favorite baby_ —

 

meron pa kasing ibang babies. 

 

the only thing he got going for him was the fact na siya ang favorite. in a world full of fuck buddies, chanyeol gabriel park picked him as his number one. para siyang rice, staple sa hapag kainan.

 

fubus can come and go but baekhyun byun is forever. 

 

sort of.

 

wala naman siyang time to be sad for himself kasi mamaya pa ‘yon. hindi pwede advanced siya mag-isip. so baekhyun, being baekhyun, just grabbed the chance.

 

chance being gabby’s dick.

 

“babe, shit,” sabi ni gabriel. “dahan dahan lang.”

 

nagsmirk lang si B before facing chanyeol and wrapping his arms around his neck. gabby’s taller than he is and B can’t kiss him from his angle. he toyed with the stray hairs na naka escape sa pony tail ni gabs and lightly tugged on some of them.

 

he really, really liked gabby’s long hair. 

 

and his tattoos.

 

and well, his everything.

 

baekhyun went up on his tip toes and siya na ang unang humalik ng madiin. chanyeol made a noise in the back of his throat before he, too, returned the kiss. he was the one who slipped his tongue first but B was the one who started biting. baekhyun nipped at chanyeol’s lower lip and dragged the plump lip across his teeth nung nagseparate ang mga labi nila.

 

“i miss you,” sabi ni baekhyun kay gabby. “it’s been—what? a week and a half?”

 

“ten days,” sabi ni gabby with a smirk.

 

“wow,” reply ni B. “you’re counting?”

 

“you’re not the only one na naka-miss, B,” sabi ni gabby. 

 

tumalon ang puso ni baekhyun kahit na that’s bawal. that’s very bawal pero hindi niya mapigilan ang pagskip ng beat, ang pagbilis ng tibok, ng puso niya. he hoped na gabby was passing it off as him being turned on, the same way na he had been passing it off as such. 

 

hinatak ni baekhyun ang ipit ni gabby and the light curls came loose from the hair tie. binato niya yung ponytail ni chanyeol gabriel somewhere and the action earned a groan.

 

“B,” he complained. “that’s my last one.”

 

“don’t worry,” sagot ni baekhyun. he hopped and chanyeol caught him agad. baekhyun wrapped his legs around chanyeol’s waist. kayang kaya siyang buhatin ng taller male despite the fact na B was on the heavier side because of his defined muscles. 

 

it’s a turn on. 

 

he kissed chanyeol gabriel and added a very reassuring, “meron akong hair ties in my vanity.”

 

that’s true naman. ever since gabby started growing his hair out as a last hurrah before the inevitable demand of being a professional, nagtabi na si B ng ipit sa condo niya. hair ties, hair clips, hair pins, headbands—name it, meron siya. iba ibang designs and colors pa basta all for gabby park. 

 

in-adjust siya ng kaunti ni gabby before the taller male started walking sa direction ng bed. baekhyun took that as his cue na kailangan niya ng bilisan. he knew today wouldn’t last. for one, B had a class pa later. 

 

he kissed gabby again sa lips, moaning around the other man’s tongue. he knew he’s getting hard already as he trailed his mouth down sa leeg ni gabby. he pressed open mouthed kisses sa smooth skin and his lips caught on a patch of gabby’s jugular so B did what he had to do.

 

he bit and sucked a bruise.

 

“babe,” nagmoan si gabs. “no hickeys.”

 

“since when?” tanong ni B. “you like having hickeys.”

 

“not when i met someone new,” sagot ni gabby.

 

aba. tangina. kaya pala.

 

B should have known. may bagong target na naman si gabriel park. all he knew was that unlike his best friend migs, gabby had no qualms having fubus ng sabay-sabay. B was the staple, yes, pero like meal times, hindi pwedeng kanin lang. dapat may ulam.

 

“whatever,” sabi niya. medyo nakakawala sa mood so he figured gabby would have to work hard for it today.

 

he dropped him sa bed and before B could wiggle and fix his position, gabby was hovering above him.

 

“selos ka ba?” he joked. or well, gabby thought na he was harmlessly joking. everything about gabby park was a harmless joke. 

 

B rolled his eyes. “bakit naman ako magseselos? you’re not that good of a fuck, _gabriel_.”

 

nagsnort si gabby at the statement and the full name.

 

“hmmm,” he hummed. “i guess i just have to prove myself.”

 

and prove it, he did. 

 

gabby’s hands were running up and down B’s sides bago ito magslip sa ilalim ng loose old PE shirt ni baekhyun. his fingers were ghosting along the hard planes of baekhyun’s abs, tracing every line. alam ni B na gusto ni gabby na meron siyang abs, like him. chanyeol gabriel liked his fuck buddies fit, for some reason, and B was thankful na pasok siya sa kung ano mang standards ang meron itong manlolokong ito.

 

napaungol si B when chanyeol traced that vein that ran down pababa and disappeared under the bands of his basketball shorts. walang pasabi na inalis ni gabby ang shirt niya before he pinched a nipple.

 

“ouch,” reklamo ni B.

 

nagsmile lang si gabby before he leaned down to give the pert nub a small kiss. nagsmile pa ang gago. B hated his ass talaga. 

 

chanyeol started kissing baekhyun down and he stopped at his belly button. he dipped his tongue inside and baekhyun moaned, arching his back sa bed. gabby knew na weakness niya ito and he could not help the way he clutched at gabby’s long hair. he gripped it tight in one of his fists, as he felt chanyeol laugh.

 

baekhyun’s already hard. tigas na tigas na titi niya for this man.

 

chanyeol gabriel, thankfully and finally, did what he came here for. hinatak niya pababa yung shorts ni B and baekhyun folded himself, lifting his hips, para matanggal ni gabby yung bottoms niya.

 

gabby made a pleased noise. 

 

“no undies?” tanong nito.

 

“what for?” sagot naman ni B while slightly panting. his dick was standing against his abs and chanyeol was kissing around the base, placing butterfly pecks. his fingers were skimming baekhyun’s thick thighs. 

 

“gabs, ano ba?” he complained. “you said you’ll go down on me.”

 

chanyeol giggled and lifted his head. his pupils were blown wide with lust already. “ayt—where’s the lube?”

 

baekhyun reached underneath the pillow sa likod niya and tossed chanyeol the flavored lube na in-order pa niya sa amazon. thank you, express shipping.

 

“this is new,” comment ni gabby as he eyed na tube of cherry flavored lubricant. “and cherry? really?”

 

“shut up,” sabi ni B. “i paid, like, 50 bucks for that.”

 

“well then,” sabi ni gabby with an eyebrow raise. he flicked the bottle cap open and poured lube sa ass crack ni baekhyun. it was cold pero okay lang. “kailangan nating sulitin, right?”

 

sabay ng pagkasabi ni gabs on how they had to make sulit the lube, he ran his index finger down the crack and traced baekhyun’s rim with his finger. he slipped one inside and baek watched gabby hump against whatever part of b’s leg he could reach as if libog na libog na siya, finger pa lang ang nakapasok.

 

b bit his lip and held off a moan. hindi pwedeng pahalata na thirsty na siya. he liked it when gabby would beg him to let his pleased noises out. 

 

chanyeol made quick work of it and he put another finger in. he started scissoring baekhyun and dragging the pads of his fingers against his walls. gabby’s fingers are long and isang crook, halos mapahiyaw si baekhyun. the fingers brushed against his prostate lightly.

 

“fuck,” sabi niya. “get your mouth on me, gabby.”

 

walang answer from his fubu pero chanyeol gabriel park had always been a man of actions. naglean down ito and settled himself comfortably in between b’s legs. he gripped baekhyun’s thighs and the smaller male yelped kasi gabs dragged him upwards. halos matupi na siya into two and baekhyun moaned out loud kasi, finally, gabby’s lips were on his hole.

 

the taller man flicked his tongue sa butas ni baekhyun. his fingers were going in and out pa rin before tinaggal na ni gabs buo. baekhyun groaned sa feeling of emptiness but he did not have time to be disappointed kasi big hands were spreading his ass cheeks open before a tongue started jabbing in and out of his hole.

 

“gabby, _shit_ ,” baekhyun drawled out. both his hands found purchase on gabriel’s hair and tugged sa mahahabang strands. if there’s an upside to gabby going down on him, ito ‘yun. never naimagine ni baek hyun na magiging kink niya ang long hair but then again, never niyang naimagine na magiging ganito siya ka puta for a guy.

 

tuloy lang si gabby sa pagkain sa kanya with matching, “b, babe, sarap mo— _fuck_.”

 

si b naman, one hand on gabby’s hair na lang as he took the other one out and started lazily pumping his dick. every time na malapit na siya, hinahawakan at hinihigpitan niya yung kapit sa base. he’s trying to make this last.

 

“gabby, please,” sabi niya. sumabunot siya ng matindi. “fuck me, babe. sige na.”

 

nag straighten si gab park from where he was positioned and binaba niya ang legs ni baekhyun. hindi pa rin hubad si gabs because ganito talaga siya, gusto ni gabby na si b muna. pero gabby was a generous lover. he took off his shirt and for a moment, in-admire ni baekhyun ang borta sa harap niya, _ang sarap._

 

for a moment din, inisip niyang sulit ang pain ng lahat kung ganito naman ang titirang lalaki sa kanya. umatras muna si gabby at saka nagmamadaling naghubad ng chino shorts niya and ng boxer briefs niya na color light blue. cute, baekhyun thought. very soft.

 

gabby’s thick and cut and baekhyun licked his lower lip, admiring the sight before him. nakatayo proudly ang tite ni gabby against his thick torso. thick on thick on thick on thick. very high ng caloric content ng ka-fubu niya. 

 

binato ni baekhyun ang condom to gab park’s direction and the other man caught it. quickly and almost impatiently, gab ripped the foil packet and rolled the rubber down his dick. he grabbed the lube bottle and slicked himself up before tapping b’s thigh.

 

“on your knees, baby,” sabi nito.

 

one more thing—mahilig si gabby sa doggy style. 

 

baekhyun complied and he presented his ass sa kanyang masarap na ka-fubu. pinalo pa niya once and he heard gabby na nagcurse behind him. he felt hands grip his hips tapos fingers digging sa balat at laman niya before gabby pressed his cock head against baekhyun’s hole.

 

baekhyun took a deep breath as gabby started pushing in slowly. he gave a sharp inhale and gabby stopped.

 

“are you okay, b?” tanong nito. the worry was so evident in his voice and baekhyun whimpered.

 

“yeah, continue,” sagot nito. this time, he tried to relax even more. mahirap kasi malaki si gabs pero if there’s a will, there’s away. 

 

ramdam ni baekhyun the moment nagbottoms up si gabby. his pubic hair tickled the skin of his ass. walang pasabi, gabby grabbed his hips, pulled out, and the pushed back in.

 

“tangina,” napamura si baekhyun. ang bilis. he heard gabby na tumawa sa likod niya as if nakakatawa na napamura si baekhyun dahil sa quickness ng mga kaganapan. hindi ito nagsalita, thankfully, and instead continued fucking b like he meant it.

 

labas, pasok, labas, pasok. punong puno si baekhyun ng malaking tite ng isang chanyeol gabriel park. he had an erratic rhythm but he made up for it with enthusiasm. gabby reached around and started pumping baekhyun’s dick. he tried to match it with his pace and walang nagawa si baekhyun kung hindi ang umungol at i-praise si gabby for what he was doing.

 

the two of them weren’t much for dirty talk kasi usually, they were quiet. they did it in places where they _had to be_ quiet and fucking was more of like a hobby, or an exercise. at least, for gabriel.

 

ilang strokes pa and a masterful roll ng hips as well as a flit of finger sa slit ni baekhyun and he was coming. he didn’t come as hard as he would have liked but it did uncoil the tightness in his stomach. he slumped down as gabby chased his own orgasm. he came with a short grunt before pushing himself away.

 

kung gaano kabilis silang magkantutan, ganoon din kabilis lumayo si gabby sa kanya. nagroll over si baekhyun and he watched gabriel tie the condom expertly. expert talaga, baekhyun thought. he wondered ilang condom ang tinatali ni chanyeol a week. 

 

may trash can beside the bed and gabby threw the used condom there. he pushed baekhyun’s hair from his forehead and leaned down to kiss his temple. fuck.

 

fuck talaga. ito ang pinakaayaw ni baekhyun after their quick adventures (misadventures? mistakes?). gabby was just so fucking sweet and—

 

“thanks, babe.”

 

yes, nagte-thank you pa siya. baekhyun had no idea why kasi naman para siyang na-hit and run. after sagasaan at barurutin, biglang iiwan.

 

tumayo si gabby and he headed sa banyo ni baek. baekhyun watched the taller man walk around his flat in all his naked glory after grabbing his chino shorts. for a moment, nag-ilusyon siya—konting kembot na lang pwede ng maging sila sa pantasya niya. yung for a moment niya, naputol once the sound of drake’s new album echoed from the bathroom.

 

amputa. anthem talaga ni chanyeol ang drake songs.

 

mabilis naman si chanyeol sa banyo and hindi pa tapos ang second song, nakalabas na siya. he’s wearing his chino shorts already and nothing else. his hair was curling around his nape and brushing his wide shoulders. napaka unruly. 

 

nakahiga pa rin si baek as chanyeol stood before the foot of the bed. kinuha ni b yung cellphone niya and swiped sa camera app. he turned the video mode on and trained it to gabby’s direction.

 

saktong sakto na nag-iipit ng hair si gabby. tumingin ito sa kanya at natawa.

 

“are you taking a pic?”

 

“video,” answer ni baekhyun. like the generous human being that he was, nagflex si gabby. he tied his hair swiftly, not bothering on making it perfect or neat. wala pa rin siyang shirt. siguro, kung hindi selfish si b, he would upload this clip sa instagram story niya. it’s not like anyone would be pissed.

 

honest si gabby. alam ng lahat ng ka-fubu niya na meron siyang iba. ang last count ni B, tatlo lang silang nasa regular rotation. one other guy and one other girl—si other guy from UP, si other girl from miriam. 

 

yes, complete ni chanyeol gabriel ang universities sa katipunan. last year, may period na complete ni chanyeol ang big 4 universities. si baekhyun from ateneo, two guys from la salle and UST, and one girl from UP.

 

gabby grabbed his shirt and put it on ng mabilis. he went around the bed and leaned down to kiss baekhyun sa lips niya. baekhyun clung a bit, savoring the moment, but gabs untangled from him.

 

“i have to go,” sabi nito. “i had to get migs and our new friend.”

 

tumaas kilay ni b, “new friend?”

 

“yeah. from histo,” sagot ni gabs. “type ko siya. really cute—his name’s kyungsoo, from IS.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love cliches


	3. booze and bad bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 50% history, 50% boobs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> real migs hours
> 
> unbeta-ed to di ko na alam tina-type ko kase umiinom din ako now thank u spare beer sa ref ng kuya ko da best ka talaga

one week na ang nakakalipas, three history classes and one full reading about the latter years of the spanish colonial period in the philippines. monday morning na ulit and miss boa entered the classroom with her laptop and her own personal copy of the book containing an excerpt that was one of their reading assignments.

 

“good morning,” she said. “get a size 2.”

 

parang isang orchestra—sabay sabay na groans of complaints echoed inside the bel classroom.

 

migs shrugged and turned to kyungsoo, “kyungsoo, can i have a size 2?”

 

si kyungsoo ay isa sa mga nag groan and sobrang mukhang dejected siya at the mention of the quiz. he nodded his head at migs’ direction. medyo naaawa si migs at kyungsoo’s face. his nose is scrunched up and pati yung pagpunit niya ng one whole sheet, parang ang lungkot.

 

“kyungsoo, me also ah,” dagdag ni chanyeol gabriel. 

 

jongin shot chanyeol a look—merong dalang size ones si gabby pero of course, papansin din kay kyungsoo. nagroll ng eyes si migs kasi ganito si gabby sa mga kyungsoo types. mabait muna, very friendly and teasing, parang jokester and before long the shy and timid guy or girl will be in bed and hindi na shy and timid.

 

kyungsoo, meanwhile, continued to rip the size one. yung unang hati niya, inabot niya kay migs and gabby. 

 

“ready?” tanong ni ma’am boa kwon.

 

“not yet, ma’am,” migs answered kahit na he was already writing his name sa upper left hand corner. 

 

_migs kim._

 

sa baba nito— _hi166-s_ —which is their class and section. sumilip si migs sa paper na sinusulatan ni gabby. ang pangit ng handwriting ng best friend niya, mas pangit pa sa sulat ni jongin miguel, which is saying something. on the paper was a clear chicken scratch of _chanyeol gabriel n. park._

 

“parang gago,” sabi ni migs. “full name pa.”

 

“shut up,” sagot ni gabby pero without the heat. 

 

beside migs, saktong sakto na tapos na magputol si kyungsoo ng size one. tinago niya yung other half between the sheets of his intermediate pad and uncapped his g tech 0.3 gel pen. migs was using the same thing but that’s because this was kyungsoo’s talaga. kinuha niya ito noong second meeting ng histo. the glaring _ksoo_ na nakadikit sa ink tube ng pen.

 

migs remembered thinking it was cute, really, like the owner. 

 

he was tapping the pen against the wooden chair when miss boa said, “okay! essay question. answer in no more than seven lines.” 

 

natawa si migs sa very emotional na, “oh my god,” ni kyungsoo. alongside it, sa kabilang side niya, ang very malutong na “putangina—deads,” from gabby.

 

siya? chill.

 

miss boa paused for effect pa and she watched her class, probably to look at their faces and identify kung sino ang hindi nagbasa ng readings with the way they were sweating. “question—what role did the americans play between the spanish-filipino war?”

 

migs thought of his answer, formulating how he would phrase his argument in line with what he had read during his free times. he sneaked a glance at his seatmate, at kyungsoo, who was holding his bald head in his two hands as if may lalabas na sagot.

 

natawa si migs, of course. _damn_ , he almost forgot what his answer was going to be dahil sa sight ng distressed na kyungsoo but first, _magis_.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_migs wrote his answer in six and a half lines. he argued and defended, using the two essays from their reading list, cited in APA format. hindi pa pinapasa kay miss boa kwon, alam niya na na A ang magiging grade niya sa quiz. there’s nothing more to see—moving on._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nagkita-kita sila for lunch sa pancake house the next day, tuesday. migs organized it kasi they needed to talk about their research. ma’am boa wanted a proposal by friday. their professor had already sent a list of main ideas before but the research had to be specific and particular. it had to be interdisciplinary too. hindi lang history. dr. kwon wanted an element of any of the following among culture, economics, and politics. pwede rin all para sa mga tunay na grade conscious. 

 

buti na lang they had kyungsoo who’s well versed in both econ and polsci—never mind na migs was an overachiever with an econ minor also. 

 

they settled down sa couch sa first floor ng pancake house. kyungsoo sat on one side and migs sat across kyungsoo. gabby was pausing pa sa side ng table nila and migs shot him a quick look as if saying “upo na, asshole!”

 

gabby sat beside kyungsoo and migs’ eyebrow twitched. whatever. umusog siya ng konti para tapat na tapat siya kay kyungsoo and the space was small. siguro pwede niya i-bump si kyungsoo underneath the lamesa. pwede rin niyang sipain si gabby and alam yun ng best friend niya.

 

gabby gave him a tight smile and made a face. jongin miguel, the mature one, rolled his eyes and stuck his nose higher.

 

dumating na yung waitress. inabot niya yung menu sa kanilang tatlo and sabay lumingon si gabby and migs. 

 

ang tight pala ng uniform ng mga nasa pancake house nagwo-work. ang laki ng future ng waitress nila and migs, okay, he snuck a glance. appreciative. hindi siya kagandahan but migs did smile a little bit more charming sa waiting staff. 

 

naghihintay ito ng order niya with her pen and paper and migs said, “good afternoon—uh… can i get the salmon plate? and iced tea, please.”

 

si gabs naman ang next. predictable na he order the arroz ala cubana with matching “thanks and iced tea rin ang drink.”

 

kyungsoo was still looking over sa page ng menu niya ang gabs leaned in, umusog to crowd kyungsoo sa wall. migs looked above and mentally prayed for strength. 

 

“um.” sabi ni kyungsoo softly. “3 piece blueberry pancakes, please.”

 

“your drink, sir?” tanong ni ate from pancake house na malaki ang boobs. 

 

“water lang,” sagot ni kyungsoo. 

 

ate took their menus and left before nagkatinginan si migs and si gabby. 

 

“C cup,” joke ni gabs while laughing. naglean in into ng konti sa side ni kyungsoo. the smaller male did not push him away but he did look put upon dahil sinisiksik siya ni gabs.

 

“34 C,” clarify ni migs. hidden talent niya ito. meron siyand doctorate sa boob studies. migs could spot a boob job from a mile away and could accurately guess a person’s cup size. gabby called it intuition. migs called it expertise. 

 

“ew,” sabi ni kyungsoo bigla. “are you talking about her boobs?”

 

natawa sabay si migs and gabby. the way kyungsoo said _boobs_ was so damn amusing and hilarious. he said it na parang dumi sa ilalim ng stan smiths niya yung _boob_ s.

 

“we’re joking,” paglilinaw na ginawa ni gabby. he scooted closer and wrapped his arm sa shoulders ni kyungsoo. the shorter man might have brushed it off as gabby being touchy but migs knew gabby well enough.

 

there was possession sa paghawak niya. sinipa ng kaunti ni migs ang best friend niya, careful not to hit kyungsoo in the process.

 

gabby turned to him with wide eyes. ang expression nito ay very clueless and innocent as if yung index finger niya was not tracing kyungsoo’s shirt sleeve up and down.

 

chill chill lang si kyungsoo. migs had no idea if the other man was enjoying this or wala talaga siyang idea in his endless cluelessness and oblivion.

 

hay—he wondered how it was like to live like kyungsoo. may round glasses na nga, bulag pa rin.

 

“bakit selos ka ba?” asked gabs. he was smirking down at kyungsoo’s direction while kyungsoo was judging him hard.

 

gabby was leering at the direction of kyungsoo’s chest. nagwiggle eyebrows nito and added, “gusto mo ba na we talk about your boobs din?”

 

“gabby!” halos mapa-yelp si kyungsoo. migs snorted before he started chuckling. sobrang scandalized ng mukha ni kyungsoo and he even pushed gabs tapos tinakpan niya yung dibdib niya with his arms in an X shape. 

 

tangina. tawang-tawa si migs. as if naman may boobs na pag-uusapan kay kyungsoo.

 

sinuntok ni kyungsoo sa tiyan si gabby and sinipa niya si migs from under the table. wow. multitasker. lalong natawa at napahalakhak si migs. tinitingnan na sila ng group of four na naka-upo sa table tapat nila. for sure narinig ang _gabby_ ni kyungsoo but not what gabs himself had said. 

 

“you’re so bastos. what the fuck,” grumble ni kyungsoo. 

 

si gabs, dikit ulit. wrap na naman ng arms pero yung fingers were inching down kyungsoo’s chest habang tumatawa pa rin. sinipa ni migs ang gago pero lowkey gets why. ang sarap kasi asarin ni kyungsoo. his face would turn pink. yung fat cheeks niya mamumula hanggang tenga tapos he would glare. noong una, scary pa pero after ng mga fifth time siguro nawala na yung takot factor. kyungsoo was as harmless as a bermuda grass. 

 

hinuli ni kyungsoo ang daliri ni gabby before he snapped it backwards.

 

“ouch— _shit, kyungsoo. stop,”_ iyak iyak ni gabby. ayan, gago. kalokohan mo. natatawa si kyungsoo habang nagrereklamo si gabs and migs watched the two of them play fight.

 

parang linta si gabby kay kyungsoo and migs’ attention shifted from his best friend to their groupmate. objectively, gets ni migs why gabby was into kyungsoo. the shorter male was cute, pretty. he’s funny, a little weird, pero in a good and amusing way. 

 

kung sa tinder siguro niya nakita si kyungsoo, he would have swiped right as well. 

 

naglean over si migs and he grabbed kyungsoo’s hand para i-pry away kay gabby.

 

gabby turned to him with a smile. “thanks, dude.”

 

nagscoff si migs. hawak pa rin niya ang hand ni kyungsoo. naputol ang moment nila because the staff carried over their orders. nauna yung pancakes ni kyungsoo but migs’ salmon arrived and then gabs’ arroz ala cubana.

 

they lowered their noises once they started digging into their food. pinanood ni migs si kyungsoo kumain in between the bites of his salmon. dahan-dahan si kyungsoo sa pancakes niya na smothered with blueberry syrup. he would cut a small piece and chew slowly. 

 

“you have a sweet tooth, no?” sabi ni migs after swallowing his food.

 

tumingin si kyungsoo sa kanya and pati na rin si gabby.

 

medyo na-shy si kyungsoo. “yep. meron.” natawa ito ng mahina and short lang before he cut a piece of the pancake and sumubo ulit.

 

“talaga?” sabi ni gabby. “me also! pero ‘yang si migs, he hates sweets.”

 

napatingin si kyungsoo kay jongin miguel. 

 

“mukha nga,” sabi nito.

 

migs smirked lang and he raised both his eyebrows and said suggestively, “halata ba?”

 

he shrugged and made sure na kita ng dalawa ang gesture niya of flexing. gabby groaned and kyungsoo rolled his eyes.

 

migs internally sighed. wala bang effect kay kyungsoo ang pabida niya ng katawan? sad naman with an h. sahd.

 

natawa si gabs. “you’re the fucking herbal life gym rat here, migs. of course, halata.”

 

natawa si kyungsoo and halos ma-choke siya sa pancakes niya. inusog muna ni migs yung baso sa direction ni kyungsoo before he raised the middle finger kay gabby.

 

“fuck you, gabs,” he said. umiinom ng water si kyungsoo and nasamid siya ng slight. gabriel started lightly patting his back kasi baka ikamatay pa ito ng group mate nila. syempre, he didn’t cuss out kyungsoo. parang hindi appropriate.

 

nagwiggle lang ng eyebrow si gabby as if that was all the answer he would give jongin. kyungsoo sighed at their antics and they continued to eat again. this time, without any incidents. halfway through, kyungsoo broke the silence.

 

“uh, i know i’m adopted sa group but, like,” he paused. “let’s talk about the research?”

 

nagsip ng iced tea si migs. yes, oo nga pala. research.

 

“sure,” sagot ni gabs easily. inunahan na si migs. “do you have anything in particular na you want to research?”

 

“i’m kinda interested with the topic on land reform?” sagot ni kyungsoo. migs considered it. medyo broad ang scope ni ma’am boa—literally land reform lang. 

 

“maybe we could do a historical study tapos critique? like, parang, ‘di ba landed elites played a role in the reform movement,” migs said. he pulled out his macbook and shoved his plate of salmon to the side.

 

naghum si gabby. “more specific pa, i think—since historical study ng land reform and we’re doing colonial philippines, right? how about the existing hacienda system? hacienda itself is a post-colonial product, dude.”

 

“oh yeah,” sabi ni migs. he typed it down mabilis sa notes app niya. “are you okay with that kyungsoo?”

 

“yeah. i’m g,” sagot ni kyungsoo kay migs. “ma’am boa wants book sources ‘di ba? on top of journal articles.”

 

“yep,” migs answered. “we need to submit a proposal this friday na. kaya ba?”

 

“what do we need to do again?”

 

migs quickly pulled up the e-mail na naka open sa chrome niya. “objective, description of the issue, and brief historical background. for the mean time, at least two book sources and at least five journal articles.”

 

“shit,” gabby complained. “do we have to use all sa proposal pa lang?”

 

migs shook his head. “no naman. like, parang, proof lang na we have sources we can work on.”

 

“ah okay,” gabby said.

 

“kyungsoo, ikaw? anything to add?” migs asked.

 

“wala naman,” sabi ni kyungsoo. “ang nice lang na we agreed this fast agad.”

 

gabs patted kyungsoo’s shoulder. unnecessary if si migs ang tatanungin. 

 

“migs and i are used to working with each other,” the tallest of the three explained. nagsmirk ito sa direction ni kyungsoo and added, “we’re fast workers.” 

 

migs held off the snort that was threatening to break out of him. 

 

gabby turned to him with a sleazy smile and said pa, “‘di ba, bro?”

 

migs nodded his head na lang and kyungsoo beamed at them both. 

 

“so gdocs na lang ba tayo?” the short male asked. “we can meet sa lib sa tomorrow after class if g kayo?”

 

“g ako,” sabi ni gabby.

 

“yeah. ako rin. i’m down.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_the library was a success. they found three books and six sources. they did not talk much but gabby spent most of the time keeping books out of kyungsoo’s reach. migs spent most of the time getting books that were out of kyungsoo’s reach_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Wednesday 7:31 PM_

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : did anyone make a gdoc na?

 

**Gabby Park** : hold on

 

_Wednesday 7:48 PM_

 

**Gabby Park** : docs.google.com/document/d/1AOc…

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : ty gabby!!!!

 

**Gabby Park** : no prob ;)

 

**Migs Kim** : ty bro

 

_Wednesday 8:31 PM_

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : ok so i’ll do objectives and description of issue and @Gabby Park and @Migs Kim u r both gonna split histo background

 

**Migs Kim** : yea g :)

 

**Gabby Park** : yup we got u kyungsoo 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Thursday 5:34 PM_

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : done with mine :)

**Kyungsoo Do** : waiting for the histo background na lang

**Kyungsoo Do** : i’ll print it tomo also 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_meanwhile, sa kabilang banda, sa araw rin ng thursday. parehas na busy ang migs and gabby. busy sa history proposal nila? no. ibang proposal ang pagkakabusy-han nila_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

migs just got home pa lang. it was kinda late na for a thursday pero he had to bring his car back at home. his senior sa GH invited him and gabby to hang out sa isang bar sa timog and since it’s not everyday that he was in the philippines, the both of them accepted.

 

he changed quickly out of the clothes he wore maghapon. it’s not some fancy club naman but more of a chillnuman place. his friend was not the type na mahilig sa mga grinding sweaty bodies on the dance floor. if it was up to him, siya lang ang magpapakitang gilas sa pagsayaw.

 

quick shower lang and jongin was already dressing up. he was debating what outfit to wear but when in doubt, pick a white shirt out. he took the one na medyo masikip na sa kanya. it was something he owned mga two years ago pa, aka hindi pa siya ganon ka-batak. he tugged it on and sure enough, pagtingin niya sa mirror, putok ang sleeves around his biceps. lalo nagmumukhang malaki ang malaki na niyang muscles. he smoothed it out rin over his abs, making sure na bakat ito over all the ridges.

 

he rooted around for a pair of maroon joggers and wore that too. shoes, easy. he debated between the black and the nude one from the yeezy collection na pabili pa niya from his tita in los angeles but in the end, the nude one won. with a final spritz of his gucci perfume and a booking from grab, baba na agad siya.

 

he slipped two packets of condom inside his wallet though right before he went out of his bedroom door.

 

of course, while waiting sa living room for the grab, saktong sakto ang mama niya. 

 

“where are you going, hijo?” tanong nito. his mom had never been strict to him, even to his ates, as long as he was honest.

 

“timog lang, mom,” he said. “hanging out with some of the guys.”

 

his mom just shook his head. “okay. just be careful, migs. if you can’t get a grab just text manong noy or manong lito.”

 

lumapit ang mom ni migs sa kanya and she gave him a pat sa shoulder before siya umakyat papunta sa second floor. hindi naman nagtagal ang grab, thankfully, dahil before long ay palabas na si migs sa bahay nila.

 

medyo may konting traffic but it’s not like migs was rushing to go get a drink with his buddies. he texted gabby rin and did not bother checking the rest of his notifications. pagdating niya sa place, he was surprised na nauna si gabby with their high school friend.

 

it was already quiet. the place was mostly chairs and tables with chill, sensual music. most of them loved it here because of the small and cozy atmosphere. perfect for slowing down after a super stressful day. also, craft beers—they served really good craft beers.

 

“heeeeyyy,” jongin miguel drawled out. he took the last empty chair around the table and exchanged a fist bump with gabby. their other friend stood up.

 

“bro, watssup?”

 

_oops. freeze frame._

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_meet yixing alejandro zhang. his nickname? lay. mostly because everyone pronounces alejandro as ah-lay-han-dro. he’s ahead of migs and gabby sa GH and he’s graduated now and working. sort of. no one actually knows what he does, just that he’s frequently out of the country. gabby guesses he’s working as a liaison for his dad’s company. migs is placing his bet on lay finally living his dreams and bagging a wealthy sugar mommy._

 

“ayt lang,” sabi ni migs. “it’s the start of the year. last na so…” 

 

he tilted his head just a little bit and grabbed one of the beer mugs containing lay’s favorite alcohol. his friend really liked the ones they had on tap here, as pretentious as that could have sounded. 

 

“nothing new?” taas kilay si yixing alejandro aka lay. “that’s a surprise.”

 

“man,” reklamo ni jongin miguel after one sip of his beer. he settled better into his seat and pulled out an almost empty packet of marlboros from his pocket. he plucked one out and lit it up with his pale violet lighter. after a long drag, he said, “i think i’m done with one night stands.”

 

nasamid si yixing on nothing but air and he scoffed, “ikaw? done?”

 

“dude, i swear,” sabi ni migs. “tangina. last week akala ko papatayin ako ni mom. shit. i hooked up with this one girl who apparently had no idea what the fuck a hook up meant.”

 

lay whistled and he, too, reached for the pack. jongin offered his almost empty one and yixing took one stick and nagsindi na rin. he knew na lay preferred his cigarette sticks menthol pero wala siguro siyang dala. gabby, on the other hand, was still nursing his mug of beer, amusedly listening to his best friend’s story. 

 

fuck him, isip ni migs, because gabby was the one who intro-ed the two of them. sinabi niya yun out loud and gabby put his hands up in a defensive gesture.

 

“dude, i didn’t know also,” sabi ni gabby. “i just thought she was your type—small and curvy.”

 

“ _she was insane, gabs,_ ” madiin na pagkakasabi ni migs. he shook his cigarette stick sa taas ng ash tray before taking a long and very much frustrated drag before exhaling loudly. “lay, dude, tangina. beware of girls with politician parents. i didn’t even know kung paano niya nahanap address ko.”

 

lay chortled. “what the fuck? bro, anong address? what even—”

 

sobrang sarap sa feeling na magreklamo, migs thought. he had not yet had the opportunity to relax ever since this incident. he had not hooked up also, mostly because he did not want a repeat of that incidence. 

 

halos ubusin niya yung laman ng beer mug niya in one go.

 

“that crazy bitch,” sabi ni jongin miguel. “she came to my house—two days siguro after naming mag-hook up—and then asked where i was. she told everyone i was her boyfriend!”

 

nagpause si yixing and gabby was already hollering with laughter. the eldest of the three cringed and said, “fuck. i’d kill myself if that happened to me.”

 

“nah, lay,” sabi ni gabby. “only migs would attract those types of girls. remember freshman year?”

 

jongin miguel groaned. he did not want to talk about freshman year. in fact, he wanted to forget freshman year the sooner it happened.

 

“yeah, puta,” sabi ni lay. “tangina, migs. next time, pick better partners.”

 

“he has better taste in men,” dagdag ni gabby. he took a gulp from his beer and then another before setting it down. he, too, stole the last stick from migs’ marlboro pack. once it was lit up and gabby had taken a drag, ayan na. migs knew na gabby was about to go on a roll na rin.

 

“speaking of men,” sabi ni chanyeol gabriel.

 

nagraise ng eyebrow si yixing out of interest. he always did seem to enjoy migs and gabby’s sexcapades with other men, mostly dahil curious siguro siya. their friend strictly preferred women, unlike him and gabs. keyword was strictly, migs mentally clarified. sometimes, migs had this suspicion na it was not _that_ strict. 

 

“why?” yixing asked. “ikaw ba you have something new?”

 

“kind of,” sagot ni gabby. he did a single drag muna of his cig and migs could see the way his eyes twinkled. 

 

“explain kind of,” lay said.

 

“kind of as in i’m working on it,” gabby replied. 

 

he left the cigarette on the ash tray and finished his own beer. migs did the same. yixing raised his hand para makita ng staff most likely so they could bring another batch. usually, since yixing was a regular here, the drinks would just flow freely. kapag naubos, biglang may kapalit agad.

 

“you’re working on something?” lay incredulously pointed out. “saan ba kayo nagkakilala? sa church?”

 

natawa si gabby and migs rolled his eyes. the last time gabby met someone sa church, they fucked inside sa car. alam ni migs ito dahil chanyeol gabriel would bring it up on the regular. 

 

gabby considered straight up blasphemy as his biggest achievement. 

 

“close,” shrug ni gabby. “we met in class.”

 

napatigil si jongin miguel.

 

“wait,” he said. “are you talking about kyungsoo.”

 

gabriel rolled his eyes. “of course i’m talking about kyungsoo.”

 

“who is kyungsoo?” lay interjected. 

 

“histo classmate,” sagot ni migs nonchalantly. “kinda cute. shy type.”

 

“huh,” comment ni yixing alejandro. he turned to gabby and added, “your type nga.”

 

“dude,” sabi bigla ni gabby as he looked at migs’ direction. migs narrowed his eyes and before any of them could say anything, dumating na yung fresh round of drinks nila. chanyeol gabriel picked the drink and held it in his hand.

 

“type din siya ni migs.”

 

“oh shit, talaga?” very surprised si yixing. 

 

“yeah, gago,” gabby was quick to answer just as migs said, “tangina. no.”

 

yixing quirked his eyebrows. 

 

“don’t listen to him, pare.” uminom si gabby ng beer and made a satisfied noise. “i knew migs. type niya rin si kyungsoo.”

 

gabriel pulled out his phone and migs watched with a glare as his best friend ignored the overflowing ribbon notifications sa lock screen niya to go to his instagram account. he typed in kyungsoo’s username and clicked one of the first pictures to make it full size.

 

migs knew of the picture, of course. beside the heart there was the telltale _You, migskim, and 578 others liked this photo._

 

in miguel’s defense, it was a pretty damn likable photo.

 

it was a full body picture of kyungsoo in japan. he’s in a pair of tight skinnies and large oversized sweater. yixing whistled.

 

“small and curvy,” the chinese male said. “migs, sorry, bro. but gabby’s right. type mo ‘to.”

 

“gago?” migs said. “baka ikaw type mo.”

 

nagshrug lang si yixing as if saying _so what_.

 

“puta kayo,” sabi ni miguel. gabby snorted at that.

 

“see,” he said victoriously. “type ni migs. i called dibs though.”

 

“migs never honored dibs, dude,” sabi ni yixing. heh, migs lifted one shoulder in a universal _well_ gesture. it’s not like they were lying.

 

“true,” gabby shrugged. he drank the beer and savored the taste. migs rolled his eyes. the only thing gabby ever savored was his fuck buddies. his best friend knew nothing about craft beers on tap at timog. “but whatever.”

 

“maaaaannn,” sabi ni yixing. “you’re fine with migs trying to get it with your boy?”

 

nagcringe si migs. yixing did not have to make it sound like migs was an asshole.

 

“he’s an asshole,” gabby answered simply. 

 

migs threw his smirking best friend a betrayed glance. tangina. he’s not an asshole. “bros before hoes and all that. besides,” he raised his mug and drunk again. he turned to migs and said with a leer, “whoever get to kyungsoo first, right, gago?”

 

natawa si migs and he raised his glass of alcohol, clinked it with gabby’s, and there was that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

ilang rounds din ng beer bagong naging appealing yung group na malapit sa kanila na kanina pa tingin ng tingin. 

 

lay had already disappeared sa bathroom and migs assumed na it was for a blowjob. no one would willingly subject themselves into public bathrooms sa mga clubs and bars or speakeasies unless it was for a quick chupa.

 

yung two girls sa table were already sucking faces so migs assumed na interested lang yung dalawang nakatingin—one guy and one girl. the guy looked like he had come straight out of an abercrombie & fitch ad. the girl was thin as hell, almost skin and bones, pero malaki ang chest.

 

“dibs sa guy,” sabi ni gabby.

 

“fucking predictable, man,” sabi ni migs. “dibs sa girl.”

 

“fucking predictable, man,” gabby retorted with a dry tone. so, fine, migs had a type. it was all good. “tangina hilig sa boobs.”

 

“she got it done,” migs shrugged. 

 

napatingin ng judgmental way si gabby sa kanya. he shrugged again. jongin miguel, as mentioned, had a talent for spotting boob jobs from a mile away.

 

tumingin si migs sa kabilang table but he was so fucking out of it already from the alcohol. he was not lasing enough not to be conscious of his actions but he was definitely lasing enough that the only flirting na ginawa niya was to sit with his legs wide open and pat his thigh all the while maintaining eye contact with the girl.

 

gabby was smoother than he was because he actually did stand up and presumably, offered the guy a drink. abercrombie & fitch model stood up din and gabby’s arm was instantly at the man’s waist. for a moment, nagulat si jongin miguel. it was hard to meet men as tall as the both of them but the dude as almost chanyeol’s height. he would probably be a challenge and migs sent a tip of a hat sa best friend niya.

 

thankfully, the girl took the hint. she swayed over sa now empty table na iniwan ng friends ni migs. she was about to sit down sa free chair that gabby occupied pero _what the hell_ —what for? 

 

migs pulled her to sit down sa lap niya and wrapped his arm around her thin waist. she was thinner than what he would go for but her tits were amazing especially in the tight low-cut crop top she was wearing. 

 

“hi,” she said with a giggle. “i’m—.” her voice got drowned out and migs missed the chance to at least know and hear her name.

 

she wiggled on migs’ lap. fuck. her ass is so bony, kinda flat. migs liked it better if he could grab on to something but she’s all tight and toned. oh well, that was what her boobs were for. 

 

“migs,” he replied against the shell of her ear. 

 

he felt her shiver. _bingo_. almost every single person that migs had ever been with was sensitive at the ears. konting bulong, konting labi, against the skin and they were gone.

 

migs’ fingers skimmed the hem of her crop top and the girl— _shit. ano ba ang name niya?—_ pressed her back closer to his chest. pinasok ni migs ng kaunti ang fingers niya underneath the cotton and traced the skin.

 

naglagay siya ng mainit and open mouthed na halik sa jawline ng babae sa kandungan niya. 

 

“wanna have some fun?” migs asked.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_putangina_ , iyan ang first thought ni migs pagkagising niya. 

 

_where the fuck is my phone_ was his second. 

 

madilim ang room kung nasaan siya ngayon. his back also kind of hurt and he definitely had sex, judging by his smell. the alcohol was not clouding his system anymore pero may konti pa siyang tama. he had a horrible headache too.

 

those fancy glasses of beers were definitely misleading. masarap pero malakas ang kick. tangina. migs reminded himself to never drink with lay again on a school night—

 

wait. fuck. school night.

 

friday pa lang.

 

tangina. may class si jongin miguel mamaya.

 

agad niyang hinanap ang phone niya sa room. he did not bother waking his partner up na nakahiga sa single bed. she was lying bare ass naked, spread eagled in her fucking birth suit. migs barely paid her any attention. he did not even know her name. 

 

“tangina,” sabi niya once nakuha na niya yung phone niya. hindi muna niya binuksan. instead, he went around to find his clothes. he found all naman and they smelled like cigarettes and alcohol. he managed to even find his wallet—intact and complete ang cards and IDs niya so that was good. even his single house key, nasa pocket pa rin niya.

 

he was lucky tonight, at least, in more ways than one. 

 

once dressed, he finally opened his phone. one text from his mom saying not to disturb anyone sa house and just get inside. one text from a ‘friend’ asking to hang out—jongin deleted that one. the number was not even saved sa phone niya.

 

and then…

 

tangina.

 

ang daming messages sa group chat labelled as Hi166. 

 

fuck. fuck. _fuck. fuck. fuck._

 

_putangina._

 

_meron siyang paper due in a few hours._

 

migs immediately hightailed it out of the fucking apartment or whatever. he did not bother leaving his number or anything—the girl would probably find his instagram if she was interested enough. he did lock the door, at least, as a courtesy. 

 

he was not _that_ much of an asshole.

 

he did not know why but his heart was pounding fast. it was pounding faster than his head. shit. 

 

with shaky fingers, he clicked the messenger app and _sur-fucking-prise_ , messages galing kay Kyungsoo Do.

 

_Thursday 6:01 PM_

 

**Migs Kim** : gonna be late going home

**Migs Kim** : i’ll do my part later

 

**Gabby Park** : me also

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : ok :>

 

_Thursday 8:12 PM_

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : migssss gabbbbbbyyyyyy

**Kyungsoo Do** : where is the histo background ???

**Kyungsoo Do** : not yet done? :((((((((((((

 

oh my god. migs scrolled sa chat. oh my god. gabby and he were not replying to kyungsoo at all. they did not even bother reading the messages. migs did not see the notifications for messenger, mostly because he had the do not disturb option turned on.

 

ang tanga tanga niya.

 

he continued reading the chat as after he booked a grab pabalik sa bahay niya. the fare was 300+, for some fucking reason, pero wala na siyang pake. he had to get home and write that fucking paper or something. 

 

he was sure he could bullshit a proposal in an hour even while tipsy but he was worried kasi nga he had another group mate. if this was gabby, his best friend would not care. he would probably offer migs lunch for a week and then print the output at LS bookstore.

 

_Thursday 10:56 PM_

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : chanyeol gabriel :((((

**Kyungsoo Do** : jongin miguel :((((

**Kyungsoo Do** : where u 2 :((((

**Kyungsoo Do** : sorry i’m makulit but pls finish na ur parts :((((

 

holy shit. ang daming parenthesis ng sad faces ni kyungsoo. meron din na emojis and migs was definitely feeling—dare he say it—guilty? and then, the next message after that was an hour or so ago lang.

 

_Friday 2:57 AM_

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : I wrote the historical background na. It’s on our gdocs. Please edit na lang if you two want to add something :)

 

damn. if migs was not feeling like the biggest asshole in the world, he would feel kind of amazed at the amount of passive aggressiveness from that one message alone. he pulled up his gdocs app na rin just as the grab car he booked finally—finally tangina—arrived.

 

he got in and did not talk to the driver as they left the street. migs groaned at the sight of their proposal. at the upper left hand corner of the document, he stared at the names.

 

 

> Kyungsoo Do, Migs Kim, Gabby Park
> 
> Hi166-S

 

underneath that was their statement of the research, and then the heading for objectives, and then kyungsoo’s part. afterwards was Description of the Issue which was also kyungsoo’s. the next was the longest section—the historical background of their topic. it was to be split between migs and gabby pero yung kasunod na three and a half pages—arial, 11, 1.5 spacing—tapos na.

 

from ‘ _The history of Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program in the Philippine context dates back to the Spanish period wherein the encomienda system was introduced. The Spanish instituted the concept of encomienda when they colonized the Philippines during the time of King Philip II._ ’ hanggang sa dulo na _‘In contained parts and provisions of the two previous bills which was mainly on the retention limit of the hectares and the distribution of the holdings that landowners could own (Elvinia, 2011)_.’

 

complete lahat with citations. jongin did not even bother reading the entire text, he still had a head ache and sumasakit ang mata niya sa brightness from his phone. tangina talaga. sabi na nga ba—he should have stuck with his word of swearing off of one night stands. 

 

now he had to bear this guilt of kyungsoo doing their entire proposal for him and gabby.

 

speaking of, jongin pulled up their group chat again. tangina ulit. anong sasabihin niya kay kyungsoo. fuck. this was the first time na nangyari ito. or at least, this was the first time na hindi siya nag contribute sa isang group activity. usually, he reserved the clutch papers for individual submissions or pair work with gabby.

 

_Friday 3:29 AM_

 

**Migs Kim** : shit kyungsoo sorry

**Migs Kim** : we had an emergency

**Migs Kim** : gabs had an allergic reaction so i had to rush him sa ER

**Migs Kim** : and stay w him na din cos his parents are abroad

 

_PUTANGINA, JONGIN MIGUEL KIM!_ migs screamed at himself. what the fuck are you saying? pero wala, naka-LTE siya. napakabilis i-send ng messages kay kyungsoo. gabby was not allergic to anything!

 

he would eat all fruits, vegetables, meats, seafood, nuts, _nut!_ walang siyang allergy! he was not allergic to anything—what the fuck even. the moment na nakita niya yung messages na nag-appear sa group chat, tangina. gusto na niyang mamatay.

 

migs immediately went to his messages and bago pa niya ma-tap ang name ni gabs, nakita niya na pati rito nagsend na rin si kyungsoo. same questions about where they were and if they were done. it was sent as both an imessage and as an SMS—kyungsoo’s texts were both in green and blue.

 

kinakain na ng guilt si jongin.

 

the girl was not even that good of a fuck. dapat umuwi na lang siya after the momol and did their paper. kyungsoo seemed like he even had a hard time with it, doing everything. alam niya and alam ni gabby na kyungsoo would find it difficult to write papers because his thoughts would always be all over the place. unlike migs na, once he sat down—give him an hour or so, tapos na.

 

tangina. he felt more of an asshole sa ginawa niya na ‘to compared sa disappearing act niya from his ka-sex kanina.

 

**migs** : gago gabs WERE BOTH DEAD

**migs** : BURAT TANGINA

**migs** : kyugnso did our prt sa histo fuck

**migs** : i forgot na we had a grp m8 an its not just us

**migs** : tangina i said you had a n allergic reacitin

**migs** : and u were in the er

**migs** : SKIP HISTO DONT SHOW UP

 

walang reply si gabby so migs assumed na he was still passed out somewhere in metro manila with his abercrombie & fitch model hook up. migs just closed his eyes. wala na siyang magagawa.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nagising si migs at seven in the morning. his mouth tasted of cotton and like something died in there. the moment he sat up sa bed niya, naalala niya mga nangyari at early morning. he immediately rushed sa may bag niya na nasa floor and pulled out his macbook.

 

he flipped it open and aggressively pressed the space bar mga four times. he swiped the track pad with four fingers and hello, gdocs.

 

like from a few hours ago, tapos na ang proposal nila. tapos na tapos na. because kyungsoo finished it for them. hindi naman ito major requirement. it would be graded as a quiz lang but migs could not shake off the multiple messages from kyungsoo.

 

kulang na lang ata is i-snap siya ni kyungsoo. 

 

una niyang iche-check—messenger.

 

_Friday 6:04 AM_

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : really omg

**Kyungsoo Do** : get well soon gabby :(((((

 

hihinga na sana ng maluwag si migs pero putangina! putangina yung next message ni kyungsoo is screen cap lang. 

 

screen cap ng insta story ni instagram user layzhang.

 

picture ni yixing na may hawak na alak. beside him, migs was looking somewhere else with his yosi. si gabby, nakatingin sa camera, folded lahat ng fingers maliban sa naka-extend na pinky and thumb niya. lay probably fucking followed kyungsoo. tangina. TANGINA.

 

nanlamig si jongin miguel kim.

 

_Friday 7:14 AM_

 

**Migs Kim** : kyungsoo fuck

**Migs Kim** : i can explain

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : Just submit the paper

**Kyungsoo Do** : Then we can talk.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ako: KSOO TANGINA AKO NA SUSULAT NG PAPER NIYO
> 
> LMAO naranasan niyo na ba mga-alak nation na pumasok ng may hang over NFKDNFAK BYE BASTA MIGS AND GABBY HELLO GETS KO KAYO
> 
> ALSO, di to major conflict chill ha pls tangina i just wanna be ~realiztic~


	4. aftermath and recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post-walwal outfit: united jersey, skinnies, and sunglasses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions ng mga buildings sa addmoo CHAROT amputa this has become my day job lmao thank you for supporting my precious hearts career.
> 
> also ugh recovery food tangina rapppp

gabby woke up with a start. merong sunod sunod na vibrations sa phone niya. 

 

“puta,” he said, groaning against his pillow. he wondered sino magtetext sa kanya ng ganitong oras. ang aga aga pa, he thought. 

 

gabby rolled over his bed and hit a solid body. _oh, yeah_. meron nga pa la siyang inuwi na lalaki last night—tall and fit na parang ready lagi to hit the beach. he could not remember much, not even the dude’s name, pero he certainly remembered how good the guy was in giving him blowjobs.

 

pinag-iisipan ni gabby kung worth it to wake the guy up and maybe trade shower BJs pero it seemed like the universe was hell bent on making the decision for him. nagvibrate na naman ang cellphone niya sa side table.

 

gabby was sure his notifications were flooding with various shit right now pero he didn’t pay it any attention muna. with one last look sa ka-one night stand niya, he stood up and went to his own bathroom.

 

he quickly showered. mga five minutes lang tapos na siya and he pulled on a fresh pair of boxer shorts. once he got out, the one night stand was awake and was looking all over his living room. he was dressed already at the bottom but he was clearly missing a shirt. he was looking sa ilalim ng sofa and gabby shook his head. his one-bedroom condo was not that big—saan ba pwede mapunta ang uniqlo tee nitong lalaki na to?

 

“not gonna shower?” gabby asked with a quirk of his lips. he stood there watching the guy move around. at least, the dude was hot even without the beer goggles and the sketchy bar lighting. 

 

“nah,” sabi ni model. “i have to rush.”

 

pumunta na lang siya sa bedroom and grabbed his phone. he grabbed the first t-shirt from his closet and tossed it sa guy who was still finding his.

 

“here,” sabi niya. the guy caught the article of clothing and pulled it on. mr. one night stand stood up and went to gabby. chanyeol gabriel was a little surprised. huh. the guy was tall, almost as tall as he was. maybe an inch or so shorter than migs.

 

that’s new, gabby thought. he usually preferred short and cute men (not necessarily twinks kasi mas that’s migs’ type of guys) but the place where they were in last night lacked that.

 

the guy crowded gabby against the wall. he smelled like sex and alcohol. gabby pushed the dude away and the tall stranger smiled, a small little thing that made him look a little younger. gabby wondered how old he was.

 

“no offer for breakfast?” the stranger asked. he was clearly flirting but gabby was not interested anymore.

 

“unless breakfast includes a blowjob?” gabby playfully suggested, gesturing to his crotch. the guy looked down and his fingers skimmed the bands of chanyeol’s boxers. they stilled for a moment before the guy stepped away.

 

“can’t,” the guy shook his head and lifted his shoulders slightly. “i really have to leave—like ten minutes ago.”

 

natawa si gabby but he did lead the guy to his door. he dropped a kiss sa cheek ni stranger before he let the other guy out with a short thanks for the night. his one night stand waved at him and blew him a joking kiss. gabby closed the door and reveled, for a second or two, sa quietness and stillness of the early morning.

 

neither he nor his one night stand offered their phone numbers. 

 

gabriel went to the fridge first and grabbed one of the bottles of water inside. he twisted the cap open and chugged deep gulps. nakakauhaw makipag-sex after malasing. he sort of had a headache and thought of grabbing something from recovery food sa up town before his class sa hist—

 

_oh fuck. tangina. wait_.

 

history. he had to be in school—he turned his phone screen side up and checked the time—in an hour. gabby was not sure if he would even make it. he needed breakfast and this fucking headache to go away. actually, he was sure na hindi siya aabot. 

 

tangina ni lay, gabby thought. he would text his friend and tell him to make sure na umuwi sa philippines tuwing friday or weekends only. 

 

nakita niya na ang pinaka latest na notification ribbon was a message from migs. a message that told him not to… go to class? gabby was kind of confused. wala bang history class? was it a free cut? did ma’am boa kwon finally drop dead and give the class a free cut kasi she had yet to be revived?

 

that sounded impossible. he ignored the rest of the notifications and just decided to call migs na lang.

 

dalawang ring pa lang ata, sumagot na agad ang best friend niya.

 

“gago, what’s up?” tanong ni gabby. he was very chill and nonchalant. he went to the fridge again and rooted around for something to eat for the mean time. nung walang appealing, he opened one of the cupboards and grabbed a protein bar. he ripped the packet with his teeth and took a large bite.

 

“gabs, tangina mo,” sabi ni migs agad. 

 

what did gabby even do now?

 

“yes,” reply niya with a careless shrug habang nginunguya ang protein bar niya. “but what did i do?”

 

_“what did you not do!”_ ang frustrated answer ni migs. ang aga aga and his best friend was already in a twist. did chelsea trade hazard away? or baka naman his one night stand was a bad fuck. it certainly would not be the first time. 

 

“dude, chill,” gabby just said. he finished the protein bar and drank the remaining water on the bottle. pumunta siya sa room niya and started rifling through his closet.

 

“i’m not chill, gabriel!” sabi ni jongin miguel. “we fucked up, gago.”

 

“we?” tanong ni gabby. 

 

_hmm…_ he picked out a manchester united jersey. nilagay ni gabby sa speaker mode ang call and binaba niya ito sa flat surface. nagspray siya ng deodorant before pulling the jersey on. 

 

“gabby,” migs said na very exasperated na. “we have a histo paper due in an hour.”

 

nagnod si gabs. histo paper, right. histo—

 

“ _puta_ ,” isang napakalutong na mura ang sinabi niya.

 

he could imagine migs rolling his eyes sa other line. medj slow si gabs today but he did drink more than migs so he figured he had a free pass.

 

“well,” sabi niya. “we could cram it together. i mean, one hour is good enough if tayong dalawa.”

 

“chanyeol gabriel,” sabi ni migs na sobrang sharp. “we don’t need to cram anything. kyungsoo, _our group mate_ , finished our part for us.”

 

napatigil si gabby sa pagpili niya between light blue skinnies and black joggers. 

 

“talaga?” he answered dubiously. parang ang bait naman ata ni kyungsoo kung ganon. 

 

“why are you even—” huminga ng malalim si migs. “did you even check the group chat?”

 

gabby did not. he picked the light blue skinnies and put it on before answering na yes, hindi siya nagcheck. isang mahabang mura ang pinakawalan ni migs. gabby would be impressed at migs. he managed to curse chanyeol, his entire family, and his ancestors. only toben got out of the swear fest unscathed.

 

“tangina mo, gabs. yes. kyungsoo did our part because he’s a nice guy," migs said.

 

okay. fine. now gabby is already feeling guilty. kyungsoo is a nice guy, mga 10 million times nicer than both he _and_ migs combined. he _would_ do the paper himself if hindi sumagot mga group mates niya.

 

“now i feel bad,” sabi ni gabby dejectedly. he finally buttoned his pants and grabbed his backpack from his ‘study’ desk. 

 

“that’s the point, gago,” sabi ni migs. the other male sighed sa end ng line niya and gabby started packing up na rin. he found his car keys and slung his backpack on one shoulder.

 

“are you going to class?” tanong ni migs.

 

“are you?” balik ni gabby while locking his front door.

 

“yes,” sabi ni migs. “we need to apologize to kyungsoo.”

 

“dude,” gabby drawled out. “an apology won’t cut it. kung ako kay kyungsoo. i’d beat the both of us.”

 

narinig niya tumawa si migs sa other line pero without the humor. he was sort of serious though. kung siya ang nasa position ni kyungsoo, he would report the both of them sa prof siguro. petty na kung petty. 

 

“he’s too fucking nice for that,” sagot ni migs. “besides, hindi niya tayo abot.”

 

“tangina,” napasnort si gabby. “gago ka migs. nagjo-joke ka pa.”

 

“if i don’t joke,” sabi ni jongin miguel. “i would just feel guilty the entire day.”

 

finally, nakababa na yung elevator sa parking space ni gabriel. he went inside his car and turned the ignition on.

 

“ayt, i’m leaving my place na,” he said. “i’ll go grab you some food. meet after histo?”

 

“yeah. sure,” sabi ni migs before finally hanging up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

the moment makaalis si gabby sa parking space ng up town center with his recovery food order of tuyo bowl, tapa bowl, and their entire dessert menu for kyungsoo, late na siya sa history by thirty minutes. he fumbled for his sunglasses kasi tangina, _the fucking sun_.

 

of course, hindi na siya papasok. ma’am boa hated latecomers with a passion and pag nagring na ang second bell, after the ten minute grace period, make sure na nasa class ka na. she would admit those na papasok five minutes after that bell pero anything later than that, huwag na lang.

 

maiinis lang si ma’am boa and she much preferred na magskip na lang ang student than come fifteen minutes late. according to her, “why even bother showing up thirty minutes late? if ayaw mo pumasok on time then don’t come at all.” it was a clear sign daw na you would rather do something else or be somewhere else.

 

of course, chanyeol followed his prof’s advice. he decided to just wait sa wooden bench sa first floor ng bel with the paper bag of food. he pulled his phone and decided to finally check his messages.

 

inuna niya yung texts and found na aside from migs, a bunch of numbers na kilala niya some and di niya kilala ang iba, his fubu from UP, his ate probably telling him celebrity gossip, and his family group chat with a reminder na umuwi siya this weekend kasi pabalik na parents niya from hong kong, nakita niya ang SMS and imessage ni kyungsoo.

 

yeah. kyungsoo. yung mabait and cute niyang group mate na tinapos yung proposal nila. grabe. chanyeol had never felt this guilty and this patapon in his entire college life. it was not a major paper. in fact, quiz lang ang equivalent nito but kyungsoo still made the effort and this would be part rin of their final research.

 

nakakaguilty talaga. chanyeol was a gago—migs too—but they never made pabuhat to any of their group mates. kapag silang dalawa lang, yes, very clutch. yung tipong gagawa ng paper half-way into inebriation at 3 in the morning. 

 

when he checked messenger, mas malala yung nasa group chat nila. ang daming parenthesis ng sad faces ni kyungsoo. ang dami rin na emojis—crying emojis, sad face emojis, yung wang wang emoji, SOS emoji. lahat na ata ng emoji to signify an emergency, nagamit na ni kyungsoo.

 

first thought ni gabby— _tangina ko_.

 

his second thought? _ang cute; kyungsoo likes emojis_. 

 

he shook his head kasi hindi ito oras to think of emojis. wala na naman siyang magagawa kasi tapos na yung paper and most likely nasubmit na since patapos na rin ang history class. he went to kyungsoo’s instagram and sure enough, yixing followed him nga.

 

_that’s probably how he saw the instagram story,_ isip ni chanyeol.

 

tangina kasi ni migs. nagsinungaling pa. matatawa sana si chanyeol kung hindi siya ang nasa position na to. migs really had the audacity to lie to kyungsoo na nasa ER siya because of an allergy. true naman na nasa abroad parents niya pero now ang balik nila. 

 

nakita niya pa na naniwala si kyungsoo. probably paggising niya and yun ang una niyang na-check. nagfail lang siguro when he checked his instagram with a new notification from a lay zhang. he probably checked who the guy was and ayun, doon niya nakita na wala sa ER si gabby but nasa timog, drinking craft beers until makalimutan niya yung history proposal.

 

“fuck you, migs,” sabi niya in frustration. 

 

ang tagal matapos ng class and gabby just threw his head back a little and closed his eyes. his head was still pounding but gabby gave no fuck na. he pulled his hair tie from his wrist and gathered his hair messily. tinali niya ito in a low pony, making sure na loose ang ipit niya so hindi mahahatak ang scalp niya. pumikit ulit siya and he figured na sobrang nakakaawa niya tingnan.

 

nakaupo sa bel bench with a large paper bag from recovery food (aka everyone’s post-hangover pagkain), his hair na parang inipit ng five year old, and rayban sunglasses—anyone can conclude na nagwalwal siya until the early hours of the morning.

 

he stayed sa ganoong position until the bell loudly rang.

 

“tangina, ateneo,” sabi niya. ang lakas and shrill ng sound nito and it was not helping his head ache one bit. 

 

but at least, tapos na ang class. he opened his eyes and lumingon sa direction ng stairs. groups of students steadily streamed past and gabby stood up with his things and his take out bago siya tumayo sa side ng stairs.

 

faux pas pero whatever. senior na siya—senior na may ginawang kasalanan sa cute group mate niya.

 

inaabangan niya yung small bald head na bumaba and sure enough, ilang seconds lang, kyungsoo was already rushing past. gabby managed to catch his shoulder and the smaller guy turned.

 

nakita ni kyungsoo ang hitsura ni gabby and he snorted.

 

“how was your allergy?” sabi nito dryly. very deadpan ng tono.

 

gabby sent a fuck you sa direction ng best friend niya and speaking of the devil, migs appeared beside them. he was still looking at kyungsoo and he did not even bother saying anything to gabby.

 

“kyungsoo, let me explain. please, i’m sorry,” sabi ni migs. 

 

if chanyeol gabriel had no idea who these people were and what happened, he would have snorted. sobrang cliche ng line ni migs.

 

“what’s there to explain?” taas kilay ni kyungsoo. gabby was thankful na nakasuot siya ng sunnies kasi he did not have to look at the other male straight sa mata. feeling niya he would turn into stone.

 

“kyungsoo, please,” sabi ni gabby this time. “let’s talk?”

 

tinaas niya yung paper bag ng recovery food and kyungsoo visibly scoffed. his face was impassive. 

 

gabby powered on. “i got you food?” 

 

lalong nanlisik mata ni kyungsoo. 

 

“wala naman akong hangover,” sabi niya. “kayo na lang.”

 

okay. shit. he walked in on that one.

 

“just dessert, kyungsoo,” add ni gabby. “come on. masasayang ‘to if di ka sumama.”

 

gabby appealed to kyungsoo’s sense of good. si kyungsoo halatang naghesitate and gabby was not sure if it was the desserts or the idea of the food going to waste. probably both.

 

“fine,” kyungsoo huffed. he shrugged gabby’s hand off of his shoulder and started walking away.

 

sumunod si gabs and migs.

 

migs shot him a grateful look.

 

“dude,” he said. “puta. histo was so fucking awkward.”

 

natawa si gabby. seatmates si migs and kyungsoo.

 

“he gave me the silent treatment,” sabi ni migs. he slouched down a little bit, defeated. “para kong boyfriend na naghahabol.”

 

nagsnort si gabby. “you wouldn’t know the feeling of a boyfriend na naghahabol, migs.”

 

nag glare si migs. “pot, kettle. kettle, pot.”

 

si gabby, naglift lang ng shoulder. patuloy sila sumunod kay kyungsoo. gabby might have a bitch of a hang over pero he could appreciate the view. the view being kyungsoo’s fat ass in his nike joggers. medyo tight yung fabric around the hip area kung saan nagflare ang maliit na waist ni kyungsoo.

 

nagbounce ng slight ang pwet ni kyungsoo kasi he was almost stomping in his annoyance. 

 

_nice_ —if it was not gabby’s head on the pike, worth it na galitin si kyungsoo all for the fact na he would be able to see the eighth wonder of the world.

 

nagwhistle ng mahina si migs and gabby elbowed him.

 

“gago,” sabi ni gabby. “you better stop.”

 

“bro,” sabi ni migs with no hint of remorse. isa pa ‘tong gago na ‘to na walang self preservation instincts. “you’re also looking.”

 

the younger male knew this kasi hindi magre-react si gabby sa whistle niya kung di sila pareho ng tinitingnan.

 

“tangina mo talaga, kim,” gabby said. nagsmirk lang si migs.

 

gabby did not bother denying it though.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nasa matteo silang tatlo to pass the time dahil may class si kyungsoo ng twelve sa berch, may elective si migs sa kostka at 12 noon, and classmates rin siya with gabby sa isang subject at CTC second floor at 1PM. 

 

si gabby ang may longest break sa kanilang tatlo but whatever. he planned on camping sa library dapat but mas important to get back on kyungsoo’s good graces if he wanted their group to work out. 

 

pagkaupo nila, wala pang nagsasalita. kyungsoo took the paper bag from recovery food and started bringing out the take out boxes. okay, that’s good kasi hindi galit enough si kyungsoo para hindi kainin ang binili ni gabs.

 

“kyungsoo, hey. sorry.” 

 

si migs ang unang nagsalita when kyungsoo brought out yung takeout containers na merong tuyo. nilagay niya yun sa harap ni migs and yung tapa sa harap ni gabby. gabby switched the tapa with the tuyo in front of migs. si migs, nakatingin lang kay kyungsoo.

 

aba. si best friend niya, mukhang guilty na guilty. gabby knew that migs was not patapon din as a group mate. he was actually the type who would call out the free loader. maraming beses ng naging front row audience si gabby sa mga taong nabalatan ng buhay from the sharpness of jongin miguel kim’s words alone.

 

sa mundo ni migs, mortal sin ang maging pabuhat na group mate. he was probably having a crisis being on the other end of the equation.

 

“migs,” sabi ni kyungsoo dryly as he started eating one of the desserts. “it’s fine. nasubmit na. just don’t do it again.”

 

kyungsoo just sighed, defeated. okay. fine. mas lalong naguilty si gabs. he opened his food and ate. all this guilt had done was made him even hungrier.

 

“gabby,” kyungsoo turned to him, addressing him sharply. “don’t eat with your sunglasses on. sobrang halata na nagwalwal ka.”

 

oops. gabby sheepishly smiled. he removed his sunglasses and adjusted sa napakaliwanag na morning. the first thing he noticed was the fact na may eye bags si kyungsoo behind his round specs. 

 

kyungsoo did not get eye bags. he always looked well-rested which was to be expected since simula pa lang ng sem. ayan na naman yung guilt. sumubo ulit si gabby. at least, if hindi mawala ang guilt niya, maybe his hunger would.

 

migs started eating his tapa too.

 

“it’s not fine,” grumbled migs. “i swear i’m not that type of group mate.”

 

nagshrug si kyungsoo. he ate another bite and carefully chewed. gabby watched him lang. hindi pa rin niya alam sasabihin niya.

 

“it’s just a quiz,” kyungsoo said, put upon. “it’s nothing major. i was more pissed at how you two did not reply. and—” he paused, glaring at migs and gabby. “—how you both had to lie pa.”

 

tinaas ni gabby kamay niya. “not me. i woke up and saw na meron na pala akong allergies.”

 

migs choked sa hang over food niya and kyungsoo, who was sitting beside him, patted his back. good. hindi galit enough si kyungsoo that he would let migs die from beef tapa.

 

“to be fair, that was really a gago move on my part,” migs said. “it was 3 am and i had no clue ano sinasabi ko.”

 

nagroll ng mata si kyungsoo. ubos na ang first dessert niya so he grabbed another take out box.

 

“whatever,” the smaller guy said. “wala na akong pake.”

 

from the tone alone, gabby knew na may pake si kyungsoo. neither he nor migs pressed on further though.

 

first, food.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

mabilis naubos ang food nila. gabby and kyungsoo shared sa natirang desserts and even migs took some for himself kahit na that’s bawal on his diet or whatever. agad agad silang nag-pull out ng macbooks nila after linisin ni kyungsoo at itapon ang trash nila.

 

chanyeol thought na laptops were a perfect representation of a person’a character. yung kay migs, very clean and simple. walang case, walang stickers, walang anything. si kyungsoo, merong plain black case. si gabby, walang case but puro stickers—mostly rappers. merong drake, kanye, wiz pero meron ding star wars and beer mug. sa isang corner merong ironic sticker that had the quote _grind never stops_. 

 

he opened his eliade reading for his philosophy class and started where he left off—which was the second page. of course, pati ang reading niya ay hindi niya nagawa. he sneaked a glance sa dalawa across from him and found na parehas silang busy in front of their screens.

 

migs was typing with his game face so he was probably doing something important. kyungsoo was snickering so he was most likely looking at memes or some shit. 

 

gabby continued reading lang the chapter and found himself stuck sa isang part. he pulled up his facebook on chrome and he clicked ang name sa messaging icon. thankfully, online siya.

 

_Today 10:47 AM_

 

**Gabby** : hey b philo q

 

**B** : yeaaa 

 

**Gabby** : so i was reading eliade for class 

 

**B** : sacred and profane? 

**B** : ew

 

**Gabby** : lol

**Gabby** : anw i dont get imago mundi vs axis mundi

 

**B** : what dont u get in them

 

**Gabby** : like lahat

**Gabby** : pa-explain their difference

**Gabby** : eliade’s going around in circles gago

 

**B** : eliade does do that

**B** : lmao wait

 

**Gabby** : okkkk ty b 

 

maraming sinabi si B but gabby understood his explanation. he had no idea that what baekhyun was saying was what eliade was saying also but b was the philo major between the two of them. gabby just trusted his friend.

 

**Gabby** : ah oks

**Gabby** : parang like it had something to do with the repetition of the cosmos? tapos the center?

 

**B** : yeah

**B** : or recreation

**B** : gets ba?

 

**Gabby** : ya

**Gabby** : ty b

**Gabby** : u da best

 

gabby watched as b typed and then stopped and then typed again. maybe b was trying to explain something more? chanyeol did get what b was trying to say and his explanation now made some of the confusing parts of the reading way clearer.

 

in the end, b sent _np :*_. gabby laughed and sent a kissy face emoji back. he continued reading the chapter but mga five pages more, he was distracted when he saw kyungsoo handing a put-upon migs his pair of earphones.

 

the earphones were connected to kyungsoo’s macbook and migs looked like he would rather attend a three-hour lecture than listen to whatever the other male was making him listen to.

 

“ano ginagawa niyo?” chanyeol asked dubiously. he was not sure if he wanted to know. 

 

however, he felt a little better since kyungsoo looked like he was not about to choke the both of them. hindi siya perfectly good mood pero wala ng murderous intent sa wide eyes ni kyungsoo. 

 

“gabs, kyungsoo was making me listen to sexbomb,” complain ni migs,

 

“sex bomb?” gabs tilted his head. chanyeol wondered why kyungsoo would make jongin listen to sex bomb. “as in, _sex bomb, sex bomb, you’re my sex bomb_? tom jones?” kinanta ni chanyeol, of course, pitching his voice low pa.

 

kyungsoo looked offended.

 

“no! sex bomb as in sexbomb girls,” he said.

 

chanyeol was hella fucking confused.

 

“the what?”

 

“you don’t know sexbomb girls?”

 

chanyeol did not know who the sexbomb girls were. he shook his head. why was kyungsoo looking like gabs just admitted na he kicked puppies as a past time?

 

“ah right,” sabi ni migs. he was still holding the earphones away. “gabby was a sheltered kid.” 

 

nagsnicker si migs and gabs put his middle finger up out of instinct. parang second nature na niyang mag-middle finger every time maririnig niya yung annoying snicker ni migs directed to him.

 

“what the fuck? ano kinalaman no’n?”

 

“bawal siya manood ng tv before,” sabi ni migs kay kyungsoo. “all he did was read and attend his piano classes and his guitar classes and his tennis classes.”

 

chanyeol gabriel shivered at the memory. true naman. his parents were not as strict as migs made it sound they were but his TV was limited to cartoons, mostly, or yung mga educational shows. it seemed na it had something to do with filipino pop culture and chanyeol spent a better part of his childhood abroad, in san francisco, so wala.

 

“talaga?” sabi ni kyungsoo. he was in disbelief for real. chanyeol got curious and finally searched for sexbomb girls on google. the results were—

 

“they used to be in eat bulaga?” he knew eat bulaga, at least. “they dance and make music? so—girl group?” 

 

kyungsoo nodded and gabby swiped his fingers sa track pad and clicked the itunes app. sa apple music, hinanap niya ang sexbomb girls.

 

“listen to bakit papa,” sabi ni kyungsoo. gabby winced when the smaller male almost shoved one earbud into jongin miguel’s ear. tangina. that had got to hurt. 

 

of course, walang ginawa si migs. probably dahil guilty pa rin siya sa blunder nila kanina. _bakit papa_ was among the top songs ng sex bomb and gabby put one ear bud din and hit play. migs and kyungsoo were sharing their ear buds and he internally scowled.

 

itong si migs mukhang seryoso from last night. paunahan nga ata talaga sila. 

 

chanyeol did not think much of it mostly because _what the fuck was he listening to?_ kyungsoo looked very much at home sa music and migs was cringing and looking like he was ready to bolt any moment. gabby snorted to himself. 

 

migs was the fucking music snob. while gabby loved music, migs was picky as fuck.

 

“this is weird,” sabi ni gabby half-way into the song. _bakit papa binawa mo pa_ continued to play from his ear bud sa tenga niya. 

 

“right,” grumble ni migs. 

 

hindi niya naman inalis yung ear bud sa tenga niya. instead, naka relax na siya sa chair with his arm stretched sa upuan ni kyungsoo. nakapatong ito sa back rest and gabby narrowed his eyes.

 

si gago talaga walang pake sa dibs. gabby would have called him out if hindi sila same ni jongin. while _bros before hoes_ naman talaga, it did not stop them from doing shit. 

 

“kind of a bop though,” sabi ni gabby. natuwa si kyungsoo and he lifted his head and gave him a beam.

 

“thank you, gabby,” he said. gabby winked and watched as migs scowled at him.

 

he was only half-lying. the song was not his taste at all. he liked hip hop and rap better with the occasional pop music, yes, but this was—gabby had no fucking idea what to categorize the song he was listening to.

 

it kinda clapped though. and the lyrics made him giggle to himself. 

 

the hours passed like that. after the song, gabby switched to his usual playlist of rap and trap songs. migs was still seated sa tabi ni kyungsoo, grumbling about the smaller male’s music choices pero hindi niya inaalis yung earbud sa tenga niya.

 

gabby rolled his eyes. tangina ni migs. hindi raw type pero ganito kumilos? paano pa kung type niya si kyungsoo? baka na-rim na niya ang maliit na lalaki sa faura men’s room (quiet and walang masyadong tao, perfect any time of the day).

 

hindi niya namalayan na nagpass na pala ang oras as he read his eliade pdf. nag ring siguro ang bell because migs and kyungsoo stood up and started packing.

 

“class?” chanyeol asked. 

 

“yeah,” sabi ni migs. “see you mamaya.”

 

nag nod si kyungsoo at gabby and migs turned to him, asking, “walk you to berch?”

 

hindi nagreply si kyungsoo but the two of them walked away from the table. gabby was left alone kasi one pm pa ang class niya parang gago lang. he was almost done na rin with his reading, mostly just going over some parts na hindi niya gets and trying to digest them slowly. 

 

pagkatapos niya ng reading, narinig niya sa earphones niya in his ears ang pagping ng messenger. he swiped and checked his facebook and saw na may message siya kay b.

 

Today 11:56 AM

 

**B** : u doing anything

 

nagsmirk si gabby.

 

**Gabby** : y? faura? lib?

 

**B** : gags no

 

natawa siya. shot down agad kay baekhyun. he didn’t mind though. baekhyun was more than a one night stand naman. also, kaka-one night stand lang din niya. he was not that bad. 

 

**B** : samahan mo ko lunch

 

**Gabby** : i have class at 1

 

**B** : me also

**B** : jsec lang pls

 

**Gabby** : ok i’m at mat up rn

 

**B** : k i found a table na

**B** : sa may naan stall

 

**Gabby** : ok will be there

 

pumunta na si chanyeol gabriel sa jsec and he quickly found where b was sitting alone. it was easy to spot him with his platinum blond hair and chanyeol immediately walked over.

 

“hey, b,” he said.

 

b stood up and hugged gabby ng slight. 

 

“did you order na?” gabby asked. binaba niya yung bag niya sa empty chair and nilagay ang macbook niya on top of the table, across b’s own.

 

“not yet,” sagot ni b. “i’ll look around muna ah.”

 

chanyeol nodded and he too left the table and their stuff to look around. he had only tried three stalls but he was still full from the meal kanina. one of the stalls were serving iced coffee and he figured he needed that right now. the head ache was gone but now he was mostly feeling kind of sleepy. 

 

nauna siya bumalik sa table nila and after a minute or so, bumalik na rin si b carrying a plate and a 1L bottle of water. nakita niya na fishballs lang ang laman ng plato ni baekhyun and he raised an eyebrow.

 

“that’s your lunch?”

 

“yeah,” sabi ni b. “wala akong gusto kainin.”

 

“gags,” gabby shook his head. “eh di sana hindi tayo sa jsec naglunch.”

 

“we have class in an hour,” b pointed out. umupo na siya before he started eating his fishballs.

 

“sure ka?” chanyeol asked again. fishballs for lunch sounded not enough. “we can go to gonz if you want.”

 

nagstop si b. gabby knew na favorite ni baekhyun and turks from second floor gonzaga.

 

“turks?” gabby offered ulit, raising his eyebrows up and down. b seemed to think about it before he slumped down.

 

“nah. i’m too lazy to go to gonzaga and buy.”

 

tumayo si gabby. “ako na. arte nito.” natatawa siya dahil nag glare si b. b took out his wallet but chanyeol shook his head.

 

“on me na ‘to, b.”

 

hindi naman malayo gonzaga from jsec but chanyeol still strode sa sec walk. medj maraming tao and he smoothly walked around the throngs of freshies na, no doubt, nangangapa pa sa college life. he went up sa second floor and lined up sa turks.

 

once his turn na, he ordered an all meat beef wrap with cheese. of course, walang gulay for b. sa kabilang stall, namili siya ng bottle ng arizona iced tea. favorite ni baekhyun yung flavor na meron sila. before siya makaalis, someone called his name.

 

“gabs!” he turned around and saw nana. a one night stand noong sophomore year siya na he met sa isang party. he remembered nana—mostly because she was pretty damn unforgettable—and she was a year ahead so malamang na super senior na siya.

 

“uy, hey!” gabby said. nana walked up to him and chanyeol bent down so he can make beso and exchange a loose hug. 

 

“haven’t seen you in a long time ah. are you having lunch?” tanong ni nana. 

 

“ah yes,” sabi ni chanyeol gabriel.

 

“cool. wanna eat with me?” nana asked again. chanyeol shook his head and replied na meron na siyang kasama. nana made a disappointed face but her friends whisked her away to their table sa corner. 

 

she bid him with a, “see you around, gabby,” that he returned in kind. 

 

gabby passed by na lang sa sky walk (or whatever that was called) and sa SEC C siya bumaba. he was stopped by a couple of “bro, hey!” and “gabby, dude!” or “gabs!” pero hindi na siya nagtagal pa and just exchanged nods and grins.

 

pagbalik niya sa table nila ni b, b was already on his laptop. halos hindi nagalaw ang fishballs niya. inabot niya kay baekhyun ang shawarma and ang arizona iced tea nito.

 

“here,” he said. “your favorites.”

 

b made grabby hands sa food na dala niya and chanyeol laughed as he sat down. baekhyun was probably hungry and just did not know what to eat until he mentioned gonzaga.

 

the blond male opened his drink first before he ate his beef wrap.

 

while chewing, baekhyun pointed to the way chanyeol was sipping at his iced coffee.

 

“you? ‘di ka kakain?” baekhyun asked. 

 

nagshake ng head si chanyeol. “i actually just ate. had some recovery food kanina.”

 

tumaas ang kilay ni b. “recovery food? are you hung over?”

 

nagsmile crookedly si gabby. of course, b knew him din. 

 

“yeah. lay was in the city last night and brought migs and i out for some drinks.” gabby explained. baekhyun pushed the plate of fishballs to his direction and gabs took the fork and pierced two. he dipped ito sa peanut sauce na hindi naman talaga for the fishball but for the chicken satay and ate the bite.

 

“it’s a thursday,” b deadpanned. “ano ‘to? happy t? taft in katip?”

 

chanyeol shook his head. “yeah, gags. bad decision.” naaalala niya yung nangyari kagabi and last night. “we had a histo paper to do.”

 

“we?” b asked.

 

“ako, si migs, and si kyungsoo,” he answered. he took another bite of the fishball. masarap siya sa peanut sauce, in all fairness.

 

“well, migs was in the group,” baekhyun shrugged. “magis yun ‘di ba?”

 

gabby laughed. he had told b about migs, of course. not a lot pero enough. also, b would have heard of migs and his notoriety by now.

 

“yeah, well. all’s good na sana pero i think kyungsoo panicked ‘cause we weren’t replying.”

 

b scowled. “eh bakit kasi ‘di kayo nagreply.”

 

“listen,” gabby said defensively but also playfully. “we were trying to hook up kagabi.”

 

gabby had no issues telling b about his other hook ups. b just rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath a quiet, “of course.”

 

“so ano? kyungsoo did lahat?” sabi ni baekhyun accusingly. “ang gago naman, gabs.”

 

“yeah. yeah,” sabi ni gabby. “very gago. we knew this na. kyungsoo was so damn pissed.”

 

“was that a major paper?” b asked. he took a large bite of his turks and chewed slowly.

 

“nah. quiz lang yun but still,” chanyeol frowned. “wow. i really do feel guilty.”

 

“ikaw? guilty?” baekhyun asked incredulously.

 

“b naman!” he complained. “hindi ako douchebag.”

 

“free loader ka lang,” b said dryly.

 

natawa si chanyeol kahit na it was the truth. tangina. for once in his life, wala siyang kwenta na group mate.

 

“why don’t you tell your prof the truth? i’m sure he’d give you an F but you’d probably feel less guilty and shit,” b suggested with nonchalance. he took a sip of his drink and tilted his head to gabby’s direction.

 

“huh,” chanyeol said. now _that_ was an idea.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“migs,” sabi ni chanyeol. 

 

he and migs were at salt bakery after finishing their work out sa golds gym. the sky was already dark but gabby was craving a smoothie and the green smoothies here were the only thing migs would touch with a ten foot pole.

 

“yeah, what?” the two of them were huddled sa small table while waiting for their orders to be done.

 

“i have an idea,” gabby said.

 

“idea?” migs raised an eyebrow habang busy na busy ito sa cellphone niya. gabby sneaked a look sa kung ano man ang ginagawa ni migs sa phone niya. he saw a picture of a naked woman—malaki boobs, that’s for sure, and definitely NOT the woman from last night. gabby also saw the word dick and he immediately recoiled.

 

“are you sexting?” gabby managed to whisper shout. “in public?”

 

migs turned to him and with a straight face, answered, “yes.”

 

“putangina mo, jongin miguel,” gabby said. the miguel trailed off in a whisper of amazement though. “didn’t you just have sex last night?”

 

migs shrugged. “man, she wasn’t that good.”

 

“jesus christ,” sabi ni chanyeol. if he was any more religious, baka nagsign of the cross na siya. he knew na migs was way, way worse compared sa kanya. or well, magkaiba sila ng type ng pagkalala.

 

“weren’t you saying after last night na ayaw mo na ng one night stands?” chanyeol said, medyo incredulous. sometimes, he wondered bakit best friend niya si jongin miguel kim.

 

“not like i’m doing it everyday,” sabi ni migs. “and it’s not like _ako_ ang nagsend ng nude pic. she asked if free ako tomorrow evening and i said yes.”

 

“and she just sent a nude pic out of the blue?”

 

jongin nodded as if regular siya nakakatanggap ng unsolicited nude pics. probably yes. gabby did not make a habit of sending photos of himself even if nakakatanggap din siya. he would rather he did not know the feeling of seeing his own dick plastered all over the internet and the collegiate community. migs probably thought na it was some sort of honor, for men and women to see his dick or what the fuck ever. 

 

tinawag na yung order nila—of course, extra protein powder for extra gains—and they slipped outside the small place and went back to regis para maglakad pabalik sa ateneo where they had their cars parked.

 

nagtetext pa rin si migs but he put his phone sa pocket niya afterwards.

 

“what were you saying kanina? about some idea?” he asked gabby.

 

oh yeah.

 

“i think we should tell ma’am boa na kyungsoo was the only one who did the proposal.”

 

migs raised his eyebrow. “you sure?”

 

“yeah,” gabby nodded. “i still felt bad, you know?”

 

“actually yeah. me too, dude,” sabi ni migs as naglakad sila pababa sa overpass and papasok sa loob ng ateneo.

 

“so ano? g? let’s e-mail, ma’am boa?”

 

“yup,” migs nodded. “i’ve been thinking about that too, since kanina pa. tangina, bro, nakakaguilty.”

 

“did you see kyungsoo this morning?” gabby pointed out rin.

 

“wala siyang tulog halata, gags,” migs said with a shake of his head. gabby emphatically nodded. 

 

at least, they were in the same page—ang desire na mapatawad ni kyungsoo.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

To: _boakwon@ateneo.edu_

From: _jmiguelkim@gmail.com_

Cc: _gabbypark@obf.ateneo.edu_

 

Subject: Proposal/Quiz (Do, Kim, Park Hi166-S)

 

Good evening, Ma’am Boa. 

 

Gabby and I would like to come clean and admit that we didn’t do anything to help our group mate, Kyungsoo Do, for the proposal that we did. The three of us came up with the topic but the content of the proposal was done by Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo only.

 

We'd hopefully like to discuss the possible consequences of our actions.

 

Thank you.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

To: _jmiguelkim@gmail.com_

From: _boakwon@ateneo.edu_

Cc: _gabbypark@obf.ateneo.edu_

 

Subject: Re: Proposal/Quiz (Do, Kim, Park Hi166-S)

 

Hi, Migs and Gabby. Thank you for being honest with me. I e-mailed and talked with your group mate, Kyungsoo, to clarify and know of his side as well. I’d give you and Gabby both an F for the quiz. You’re still free to work with Kyungsoo on the topic though. It won’t affect any future submissions as long as you both do your part. 

 

Dr. Beatrice Ophelia Antoinette Kwon, Ph.D.

Department of History

Ateneo de Manila University

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Saturday 3:43 PM_

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : u didn’t have to tell ma’am 

 

**Gabby Park** : nah kyungsoo we had to

**Gabby Park** : we were assholes

 

**Migs Kim** : worse

**Migs Kim** : we were patapon

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : yea

**Kyungsoo Do** : thank u 

**Kyungsoo Do** : don’t do it again :>

 

at the sight of the emoji and the laps lock, gabby smiled. _gago_. that felt good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so last night i said tutulog na ko para fresh ako sa frabel game pero for some reason i cant sleep iniisip ko lang yung long haired gabby tapos si ate niyo official_kjd21 naging official_gabbypark nagbukas laptop tuloy tuloy nagtype until narealize na oh shit game na and then while watching madaling araw @ 2am no less nagtatype din siya very bangag na omfg tangina when i was editing (cheka edit daw) may one part na literally merong PUTANGINA GOAL!!!!!! kala ko ata twitter yung pages ko puta
> 
> tapos narealize ko na migs and gabby would not have happened kung argentina was still playing kase if they were, i would have been busy makipag-jombagan sa twitter and tumblr, magshare ng everything related to them, manood ng highlights, mag-analyze ng plays, magdasal and magsimba kaya kayo mga ka-fuckboy nation sabay sabay tayo say "thank you messi" fakjdsfjkd
> 
> anyway, next chapter punta tayo sa bading na walang malay aka sexbomb kyungsoo.


	5. Three Ps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> migs and kyungsoo took their clothes off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONGRATULATIONS, CROATIA!

To: dokyungsoo@obf.ateneo.edu

From: boakwon@ateneo.edu

 

Subject: Proposal

 

Hi, Kyungsoo. Migs and Gabby e-mailed me and told me that you were the only person who did the group quiz. I knew some professors would ignore this and consider a one grade for all but I take freeloading a serious problem. I just want to clarify with you if they were speaking the truth that it was all you, and only you, that did the entire thing.

 

Thanks. Get back to me ASAP.

 

Dr. Beatrice Ophelia Antoinette Kwon, Ph.D.

Department of History

Ateneo de Manila University

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

To: boakwon@ateneo.edu

From: dokyungsoo@obf.ateneo.edu

 

Subject: Re: Proposal

 

Good evening, Ma’am Boa. Sorry for replying late at night. I didn’t know that Migs and Gabby told you about what happened but yes, it was the truth. The three of us did come up with the topic and the particular point of discussion though.

 

Thank you.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

To: dokyungsoo@obf.ateneo.edu

From: boakwon@ateneo.edu

 

Subject: Re: Re: Proposal

 

That’s similar to what they said. I’ll e-mail the three of you about this later. Thank you for being honest, Kyungsoo.

 

Dr. Beatrice Ophelia Antoinette Kwon, Ph.D.

Department of History

Ateneo de Manila University

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nakatingin pa rin si kyungsoo sa e-mail ni ma’am boa sa kanya. saturday na saturday, ang taas ng stress levels niya. he was now waiting for whatever e-mail na ise-send ng prof niya. he had not even gotten out of bed yet, lounging in his old PE shirt and loose pajamas. balot na balot pa rin siya ng kumot and the AC was still running. thankfully, hindi pa siya inaakyat ng mommy niya or kasambahay nila na patayin na yung aircon kasi mataas ang bill. mahal ang kuryente ngayon.

 

nasa laptop niya lang siya, currently na nasa twitter scrolling. heartbroken pa rin siya dahil naloko siya ng daisy siete on netflix daw pero hindi naman pala. isa lamang itong scam. now, he was busy trying to figure out papaano malalagay ang daisy siete sa kahit anong online streaming website. kyungsoo was so ready not to get out of his bedroom for the rest of his life.

 

but of course, all things peaceful can’t last. mga after lunch, after kumain ni kyungsoo ng favorite niya na kalderetang beef with lots of cheese—many cheese!—and nakapag-shower na siya and finally changed into a black shirt and jogger shorts na pambahay, dumating na nga ba ang sinasabing e-mail ni miss boa kwon.

 

To: dokyungsoo@obf.ateneo.edu, jmiguelkim@gmail.com, gabbypark@obf.ateneo.edu

From: boakwon@ateneo.edu

 

Subject: Agreement

 

Good afternoon. After e-mailing between the three of you back and forth, I’ve decided to give both Gabby and Migs an F for the proposal. Since the grade is only for this specific group activity and this is considered as a quiz only, the following submissions will not be affected. As you three are all aware, you will still use the content of this paper for the first half of the research. I expect you three to coordinate with each other on how you will proceed from here on.

 

Since I’m also changing your recorded grades, I need you three to come to the History Department any time on Monday before our class, preferably eight onwards. I’ll need you to sign an agreement with the details as to why I’m giving Gabby and Migs an F despite their names being on the actual submitted output.

 

Thank you. 

 

Dr. Beatrice Ophelia Antoinette Kwon, Ph.D.

Department of History

Ateneo de Manila University

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

okay. so kyungsoo was just overthinking. miss boa sounded formal but she did not sound mad naman. the agreement sounded like it was a fair enough point and it did make sense from ma’am boa’s perspective. in the event kasi na maipit siya, for example ay may magreklamo or magpa-reconsider ng grades, baka siya pa ang mapahamak. 

 

kyungsoo sighed. the reason why he did not tell ma’am boa about the incident was because he thought na it was petty. parang, like, very high school na drama. he did not want the additional stress of dealing with the problem and he was prepared to just give migs and gabby a second chance.

 

at least, they proved with what they did na they were remorseful and na willing sila to take responsibility of their actions (and inactions). kasi naman, bakit nagwalwal pa? tapos thursday? kyungsoo did not get it. he was not unsociable pero he dislike going to noisy and crowded places like bars and clubs. he was not much for casual hook ups din. for him kasi, kailangan may connections and strangers just would not cut it.

 

well, momol—g. pwede rin above the clothes petting. hindi naman siya hermit and he definitely had experience already with landian sa mga kaka-intro pa lang pero anything more than that was kind of malabo na. so of course, never pa siyang naging pabigat sa group mates just because he was too busy sucking faces and fucking.

 

he did want to message migs and gabby because he was genuinely surprised and also, strangely, thankful na they took the initiative to inform ma’am boa. parang nag-180 degree turn ang opinion ni kyungsoo. after kasi na iwan siya sa ere—and okay gets naman na he should have trusted them pero kasi!!! walang texts or anything!!—he thought migs and gabby were just your typical asshole classmates. yung tipong kakaibiganin ka tapos ang daming demands sayo during the sem. be it neat notes or favors to photocopy the reading. 

 

kyungsoo normally did not mind doing stuff for his classmates but the thing was, kailangan it would go both ways. with a deep breath, in-open na niya muna yung e-mail ni ma’am boa and sent a reply na yes, he did receive the e-mail, ma’am.

 

next, syempre, facebook chat nila sa hi166-s. ang boring ng name nila. kyungsoo thought. siguro time na na palitan ang group chat name.

 

_Saturday 3:43 PM_

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : u didn’t have to tell ma’am 

 

**Gabby Park** : nah kyungsoo we had to

**Gabby Park** : we were assholes

 

**Migs Kim** : worse

**Migs Kim** : we were patapon

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : yea

**Kyungsoo Do** : thank u 

**Kyungsoo Do** : don’t do it again :>

 

**Migs Kim** : we wont

**Migs Kim** : seryoso

 

**Gabby Park** : migs hates patapon group mates sobra

**Gabby Park** : ang lala na he is now one

 

**Migs Kim** : one time thing lang to gago

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : wag puro promise

**Kyungsoo Do** : kailangan u come thru ah!!!!

**Kyungsoo Do** : we have a draft due

 

gusto lang linawin ni kyungsoo na hindi naman siya normally ganito ka-grade conscious. in fact, chill lang siya as a student. pero kasi, he wanted to get an honorable mention at least and a medal for his parents. hindi niya alam bakit now lang niya narealize na dapat siyang mag-effort. late bloomer ata siya. 

 

**Gabby Park** : chill kyungsoo

**Gabby Park** : we got two weeks pa di ba

 

“ugh, gabby,” kyungsoo groaned. kung akala ni kyungsoo na chill na siya from freshman to junior year, aba, he was wrong. mas chill itong si gabby.

 

**Migs Kim** : we can work on it na.

**Migs Kim** : gabs u dont have any right to complain

 

“thank you, migs,” sabi ni kyungsoo. 

 

ito namang si migs, kyungsoo could not place kung ano ba siya. according na nga rin sa convos nila, jongin miguel’s a student from an honors program tapos meron pang minor and, get this, he’s also graduating on time. para siyang si hermione na merong time turner, grabe. kyungsoo was not sure kung genius ba si jongin or sadyang hindi lang siya natutulog.

 

and, wow, kyungsoo just now realized din—all the while going out? nagwawalwal pa si migs sa lagay na ‘yan ah. kyungsoo could only wish. siya, very laylayan ang grades by his goal (which wa very high, gets, pero kasi… parents! expectations!)

 

he had a pretty okay CV naman and kyungsoo knew na come graduation, he would probably spend the half of the year wallowing in his own unemployment. yung ipon niya, baka gastusin niya para maka-travel to places. hindi kasi very mahilig magtravel ang parents ni kyungsoo so bihira ang family outings so he wanted to try that di ba.

 

**Gabby Park** : jk lang ano ba

**Gabby Park** : i’m not a patapon group mate also!!!!!!

 

nagsend si kyungsoo ng laughing emoji before sending another message.

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : anw

**Kyungsoo Do** : are you going to meet ma’am boa this monday

**Kyungsoo Do** : wanna go there sabay na? meet @ leong?

 

iniisip kasi ni kyungsoo na at least, they would look okay in front of ma’am boa. baka kasi magduda ang prof nila lalo if hindi sila sabay-sabay pupunta. kung they would get there sabay-sabay, may image of solidarity (three fist bump emojis). 

 

**Migs Kim** : sure wanna sabay w me?

 

**Gabby Park** : dude it’s monday coding ka

 

**Migs Kim** : nah i got dibs sa other car

 

napakunot ng noo si kyungsoo. hindi pa naman alam ni migs and ni gabby kung saan siya nakatira. kung maka-offer akala mo naman. kyungsoo thought na sobrang hell bent nila to make up with their blunder sa hindi pagtulong and his heart rested a bit kasi yes! another proof ito na hindi talaga sila patapon as a group mate. parang lahat ng worries niya nawala.

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : it’s ayttttt

**Kyungsoo Do** : i live near lang

**Kyungsoo Do** : i commute to school 

 

he added a running emoji sa last message na kahit na he definitely had done no running. nope. not a single mile. in this household, bawal pagpawisan.

 

**Migs Kim** : oh u commute?

**Migs Kim** : where do you live ba?

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : varsity hills lol

**Kyungsoo Do** : i trike lang

 

**Gabby Park** : pweds kita daanan

**Gabby Park** : para you don’t have to spend sa trike

 

**Migs Kim** : yea kyungsoo me also

**Migs Kim** : just text me

 

napa-roll ng eyes si kyungsoo. may pambayad naman siya for trike. besides, sobrang out of the way niya for both of his group mates. he figured they were just being good friends. or well, he thought na friends na sila. hopefully, the other two also considered him as such.

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : no it’s rly ayt 

**Kyungsoo Do** : meet @ leong na lang

**Kyungsoo Do** : what time ba oks for u both

 

nakita niya na nagta-type pa si migs and gabby so he just went to the other tab muna and continued watching the 34 minute murder mystery video na hindi niya mapanood at night. kailangan umaga, tanghali, or hapon until 5 PM lang para less scary and creepy. 

 

medyo na-distract siya dahil oh my god, ang lala ng mga suspects—kasama sa list ang buong pamilya ng pumatay, and he almost forgot na may kausap siya until paulit-ulit na nagfla-flash sa tab yung notification.

 

he switched and found migs’ and gabby’s messages sa chat nila.

 

**Migs Kim** : pweds siguro before 830

 

**Gabby Park** : i can be there foshooo

 

nagreply na agad siya. of course, dahil nga sa varsity hills lang siya na literally katapat lang ng ateneo, ay kayang kaya niya to make it at 8:30 am. nakakahiya naman kung hindi, right?

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : haha ok i’ll be there also 

 

**Migs Kim** : don’t be late ah

**Migs Kim** : ;)

 

natawa si kyungsoo sa joke ni jongin. of course hindi siya male-late. tangina naman niya kung maunahan pa siya ni migs and gabby.

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : i won’t 

**Kyungsoo Do** : ok gtg bye

 

nag-exit na sa facebook si kyungsoo kasi marami na ang nakalagay sa queue niya na bagong youtube videos. also, meron siyang kailangang tapusin na readings pero mamaya na yun.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nasa silantro si kyungsoo with his best friend, jongdae, sa sunday mismo na iyon.

 

_okay, you know the drill._

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_meet jongdae kim, that’s his real name. wala siyang second name but kyungsoo is fond of making up combinations and giving his best friend maling full names. so, from the top—_

 

_meet jongdae nicholas montemayor, kyungsoo’s best friend. siya ang voice of reason sa buong college life ni kyungsoo. that one last shot sa table? no, lasing ka na. that hot guy sa bar? no, according to sa mga balita, jutay siya. that project being done pag gising na lang? no, that’s a sign of defeat. if not for jongdae marcelino yap helping kyungsoo micromanage his life, baka wala na si kyungsoo na life to speak of. he has a talent for seeing the future with kyungsoo's crystal ball of a shaved head._

 

kasalukuyan sila na ready i-demolish ang isang buong serving ng beef nachos. kyungsoo was busy pouring the cream sauce sa nachos niya before he put a big bite inside his mouth.

 

“ay,” jongdae said teasingly. “kaya ng maliit niyang bibig niya na sumubo ng malaki.”

 

halos mabilaukan si kyungsoo sa sinabi ni jongdae and he took a sip of his iced tea kasi baka mamatay pa siya. sayang naman ang pinagpa-aral sa kanya if a large bite of beef and nachos lang din pala ang tatapos sa kanya.

 

“jongdae, please,” kyungsoo managed to choke out. “you’re so bastos.”

 

“kyungsoo,” sabi ni jongdae very malumanay and calm, sobrang unbothered in life. “you’ve sucked a dick. i’ve sucked a dick. hell, we’ve sucked the same dick. don’t be shy.”

 

namula si kyungsoo. nope. he’s not even going to address what jongdae had said.

 

“anyway,” jongdae shrugged. siya na din ang nag change ng topic. “i asked you to hohol kasi may napapansin ako.”

 

“what?” ask ni kyungsoo. before makasagot si jongdae, dumating na ang additional order nila. yung ribs for his best friend and an order of mahi-mahi para kay kyungsoo. yummy.

 

hinintay ni jongdae na umalis ang waiter before he leaned closer. maraming tao sa silantro, puno siya actually which was not a surprise. saving grace na lang siguro na walang kids around their table or old people. puro mga young adults na or late teens.

 

“i noticed na you’re suddenly close with gabby and migs,” jongdae pointed out as he ran his knife through the meat.

 

“well, yeah,” kyungsoo answered. “we’re group mates sa histo.”

 

“really?” dubious na tanong ni jongdae. “just group mates?”

 

confused si kyungsoo. ano pa bang inaakala ni jongdae?

 

“yes. histo lang naman parehas naming prof so…?” he trailed off.

 

jongdae rolled his eyes. “kyungsoo—do you know of migs and gabs’ rep?”

 

“um… not really?” he answered honestly. he was not the type to listen to gossips about people na hindi naman niya kilala. he preferred drama na close to his heart and home.

 

“oh so kaya pala,” jongdae nodded to himself. “basta be careful lang. i know na it’s nice to be given attention by two hot guys—and don’t lie, halaman ka pero hindi ka bangkay, you know na hot sila—” interject ni jongdae once kyungsoo opened his mouth. “—you have to be careful sa kanila.”

 

“why?” kyungsoo asked. migs and gabby were kind. medyo jokesters and bastos pero they were not, like, violent assholes or anything.

 

“consider this,” sabi ni jongdae after niya malunok ang kinain niya. “GH four years ago. jongin miguel kim fucked his teacher.”

 

nanlaki mata ni kyungsoo. 

 

“what?”

 

tumango si jongdae,

 

“to be fair naman to him, he probably didn’t do it for his grades. he fucked the teacher after graduation, apparently.”

 

“gags, paano mo alam?” tanong ni kyungsoo, very scandalized.

 

“paano _mo_ hindi alam?” balik ni jongdae with an incredulous shake of his head. “it was what everyone was talking that summer.”

 

hindi talaga alam ni kyungsoo. hindi siya ganoon ka-updated.

 

“kyungsoo,” jongdae said seriously. “jongin and chanyeol would leave 3 Ps broken in their wake.”

 

“three Ps? ano yun?” he asked. he made sure na wala siyang kinakain. 

 

“i’m sure na bawat city sa metro manila, merong group therapy dedicated sa mga 3 Ps na winarak ni migs and gabby. 3 Ps as in puso, pepe, at pwet.”

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_and all kyungsoo could do, was stare sa void._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

the moment na nagising si kyungsoo that monday morning, alam na niya, he could feel it in his bones—kailangan na niyang magmadali or else hindi siya aabot sa 8:30 AM monday morning appointment niya. or well, he had to rush kasi competitive siya. kailangan mauna siya or else, aasarin siya ng dalawa niyang group mate.

 

but first of all, kinuha muna niya yung phone niya. konting notifs lang—reminder about the appointment with ma’am boa. may imessage siya, halata from the notif, so kinuha muna niya yung salamin niya from the bed side table para naman mabasa niya ng maayos.

 

uy. from jongin miguel kim pala, saved as “migs” tapos merong cigarette emoji kasi that was the first time na nag-exchange sila ng numbers at na-save sa contacts niya. kyungsoo was not the type to bother with surnames though. he was not really the type to save numbers either lalo na sa panahon ng messenger and free facebook. 

 

**migs** : kyungsoo heyyyy

 

tiningnan ni kyungsoo ang time stamp. medj kanina pa but not that long ago naman. yung heyyyy na mahaba ni migs was followed by three sun emojis. kyungsoo could practically hear the taller male drawling out and letting the word _hey_ hang.

 

yung next message came immediately after that.

 

**migs** : are u awake

**migs** : or r u gonna be late lol

 

and hindi pa yun tapos. kyungsoo squinted sa messages that came mga ilang minutes din ang nakalipas after nung _r u gonna be late lol_ ni jongin.

 

**migs** : i’m dropping by starbs to grab some coffee before i go to school

**migs** : want anything?

 

hmm… nag-isip si kyungsoo. since it’s rainy season, it’s also always cold. parang masarap nga uminom ng something na mainit for breakfast.

 

**kyungsoo** : migs hey g morning

**kyungsoo** : are u still dropping by sa starbs :>

 

hindi muna nagreply si migs so kyungsoo assumed na he was driving. tumayo na siya and kumuha ng towel niya before he went to the bathroom to get ready. he was about to debate aling playlist ang papatugtugin niya—gusto ba niya sumayaw or bumirit sa shower this bright and beautiful morning?—when his phone vibrated.

 

**migs** : yea l8r sa katip

**migs** : should i get u sumthn?

 

**kyungsoo** : yes pls :D

**kyungsoo** : green tea latte tall lang

**kyungsoo** : and can u get the syrup sugar free and the milk 2% ? pls and ty

 

**migs** : yup sure

 

hindi na nagreply si kyungsoo dahil baka migs was already driving. he placed the phone sa counter top ng sink and tapped the _bathroom concert_ [shower head emoji, mic emoji, unicorn emoji] playlist niya.

 

parang bet niyang bumirit ng mga kanta from his favorite singers ngayon ah.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

pagdating ni kyungsoo sa leong, vocal cords well exercised, isa lang laman ng isip niya and iyon ay _ang lamig_. the only good thing was that the rain stopped by the time he was about to ride the trike to school. of course, buti na lang, he was the first na dumating and hindi si migs or si gabby.

 

he stood up sa may gilid, near the auditorium, and huddled deep in his large knit brown turtleneck sweater. it was one of kyungsoo’s mom’s recent purchase and tinaas ni kyungsoo yung neckline para covered yung mouth niya. feeling niya tuloy mukha siyang mic, what with his bald head pa. 

 

kyungsoo pulled his phone out of his trouser pocket and nag-scroll muna siya sa twitter timeline niya. he also checked the local news for anything major but so far, wala namang ganap aside from the usual bullshit and the impending storm na paparating sa philippine area of responsibility. 

 

he was giggling to himself while watching a video of a cute, fat puppy running and flopping around when narinig niya ang voice ng group mate niya. 

 

alam na alam na ni kyungsoo, nasa kabilang daan pa lang, kung sino ang paparating. yung wild and curly long hair could only mean one person. gabby was probably cold like he was and ang presentable niya in his cream sweater and light washed skinny jeans.

 

“wassup,” greet ni gabby once he was close enough. he ran his fingers sa hair niya in an attempt to fix it. ay, ang init na. 

 

“good morning,” bati ni kyungsoo sa taller male in front of him. 

 

“morning,” return ni gabby before he huffed. kyungsoo watched, kind of fascinated, when gabby started french braiding his own hair. it was messy, pero it looked nice and cool in its own way. may mga curly strands of gabby’s hair na nagfr-frame sa face niya. 

 

“oh wow,” sabi ni kyungsoo once gabby finally tied his hair together. “you know how to braid? and on your own hair too?”

 

“yeah,” sagot ni chanyeol gabriel sa kanya. he turned around and showed off his lopsided braid. cute siya, kyungsoo thought, kahit na it was all over the place and it was not long enough for a proper braid. “a friend taught me how.”

 

naghum si kyungsoo. “you’ve had long hair tagal na?”

 

“i had long-ish hair before pero i've only started growing this out seryoso since junior year,” sagot ni chanyeol. “i met this friend when i had my JTA in munich tapos he had really long hair—” gabby gestured sa small of kyungsoo’s own torso to show kung gaano kahaba. it reached siguro sa ilalim ng chest ni kyungsoo, as gabriel’s finger skimmed his knit sweater. 

 

“anyway, i wanted to try it,” he said. he fiddled a bit sa end the braid niya. “i couldn’t handle that long of a hair so ganito na lang.”

 

nagpeek si kyungsoo sa hair ni chanyeol and nodded. ano ba sasabihin niya about hair talk eh he’s bald?

 

natawa si chanyeol, probably guessing what was going on in kyungsoo’s mind.

 

“eh ikaw? why are you semi-kalbs?”

 

“hm? oh,” sabi ni kyungsoo. “wala lang. i shaved it all off to donate before and then i liked the result so i sort of just maintained it. it’s nice, no?”

 

nagnod si gabby. “yup. you look really cute.” nagreach out siya and kyungsoo stilled, he knew what was going to happen before pa mangyari. advanced siya mag-isip. also, this was what everyone was fond of doing.

 

yung kamay ni gabriel dinakot buong ulo niya before his palm started rubbing the semi-kalbo head. kyungsoo groaned and moved away.

 

“my friend likes doing that also,” he grumbled. “he claims na nakikita niya ang future.”

 

isang malakas na halakhak ang sinagot ni gabby sa kanya as he moved his hand away. 

 

“speaking of friend,” gabby said. “where the fuck is migs?” tumingin ito sa relo niya.

 

medyo naguilty si kyungsoo. baka ma-late pa si migs dahil sa starbucks run niya.

 

“um,” he said. “sabi niya sakin he’ll drop by starbucks daw muna.”

 

nagroll ng eyes si gabby before he leaned sa may wall ng leong. a minute or so, he pushed his sleeves and started absentmindedly tucking his hair. nakatayo lang si kyungsoo sa tabi niya, still as a statue kasi sanay naman siyang maghintay.

 

thank god though dahil hindi na nagtagal, nakita na nila na papalakad si migs galing sa likod nila, from the direction of the red brick road. huh. meron something na kakaiba. 

 

“‘sup, kyungsoo, gabs!” meron siyang dalang dalawang to-go paper cup from starbucks. isang grande and isang tall. kay kyungsoo yung tall kase yun ang pabili niya.

 

migs handed him his drink with a flourish. ngumiti pa and said, “one tall green tea latte, 2%, swap the syrup to sugar free, for kyungsoo at leong?” 

 

natawa si kyungsoo and kinuha niya yung drink niya. he removed the plastic tape and stuck it sa doon sa paper holder around the hot cup. halatang mainit pa and—

 

“oh, wait,” sabi niya. he was about to hand his drink back to migs but he just looked confused. kyungsoo gave him a look and pointedly told him, “i have to pay you back.”

 

“ahhhh,” realization dawned on migs’ face. “no need, kyungsoo. it’s on me.” 

 

magsha-shake pa sana ng ulo si kyungsoo kasi he was determined to pay migs back pero gabby interjected sa what would be a back and forth between him and jongin.

 

“migs, ako? did you get my starbucks order?”

 

nakita ni kyungsoo ang teasing smile ni migs when he turned to gabby.

 

“i forgot yours,” he answered simply.

 

“tangina nito,” gabby replied tapos sinuntok niya yung hoodie-clad bicep ni migs.

 

“ah,” sabi ni kyungsoo. “migs, you’re wearing glasses.”

 

“hm? yeah.” migs pushed the bridge of the rectangular-rimmed glasses up his sharp nose. “parang tanga kasi this morning, i dropped my contact lens sa sink tapos while i was trying to get it, it just went down the drain.”

 

kyungsoo couldn’t relate kasi he could not even manage to wear contacts. nagtea-tear up siya every time na mag-attempt siya.

 

“no extra?” tanong ni gabs.

 

“i forgot to buy kahapon,” migs complained. “nasa mall na nga ako to get a hair cut eh.”

 

ano ba yan? kyungsoo thought. hair talk na naman. wala na bang pwedeng pag-usapan para respeto sa kalbo sa grupo?

 

but now that migs mentioned it. oo nga, mas neat na ngayon yung shaved sides niya. before kasi, it looked like average, normal hair na makapal lang sa top. now, mas halata na. kyungoo always thought na undercut was a weird as fuck trend pero migs made it look cool. yung hair on top was kind of growing long na rin.

 

napansin siguro ni migs na nakatingin si kyungsoo. kyungsoo hid it behind the action of sipping his latte. ang warm. ang sarap.

 

“jealous?” tanong ni migs while playfully running his fingers sa hair niya. nagsnicker silang dalawa ni gabby and kyungsoo just rolled his eyes. migs paused—

 

“huh,” he said. “ang haba na pala ng hair ko on top.” he gave gabby a look and then grabbed his ID. kyungsoo noticed that migs was pulling one of the elastics na nakalagay around gabby’s ID.

 

jongin gathered all the hair on top and put it in a bun. cute ng bun niya, ang small lang na parang lump of hair. may mga wayward strands pa rin but it looks neater than before when it was just flopping around. may ibang strands na nag-escape sa forehead niya. it accentuated the strength of his features coupled pa with the glasses he was wearing.

 

“bagay,” sabi niya absent-mindedly. 

 

“thanks, soo,” migs said.

 

“soo?” kyungsoo asked. he took another sip of his green tea latte. masarap pa rin. hot.

 

“ah sorry, it just slipped,” migs smiled sheepishly. “you mind?”

 

kyungsoo shook his head. 

 

“hey, let’s go,” sabi ni gabby bigla, cutting their exchange short. gabby was looking at migs with narrowed eyes but migs just raised his eyebrow before tilting his head.

 

“stairs na tayo,” kyungsoo said to cut gabby and migs’ silent conversation. awkward. 

 

nagtinginan ulit si migs and gabby but this time, walang tension. jongin’s lips were quirked upwards on one side while gabby was blatantly smiling. nagroll ng eyes ulit si kyungsoo. kung totoo yung nahihipan ng hangin, baka his eyes would be stuck at the back of his head kakaikot niya ng mata dahil sa dalawa na ‘to. 

 

“come on,” he nudged both jongin miguel and chanyeol gabriel. “second floor lang siya. wag na tayo mag-elevator.”

 

kyungsoo did not wait for their answers. instead, nauna na siya sa stairs. he turned around a bit to see na okay, migs and gabby were following behind him. hindi naman sila nagmadali na umakyat, in fact, they took their time in kyungsoo’s opinion.

 

narinig niya na naggroan si migs behind him and a complaint of “leg day, fuck.” kyungsoo couldn’t relate again. the only leg day na ginagawa niya as kung bababa siya from the second floor to the first para pumunta sa kusina. 

 

pagdating sa second floor, they found the door of the history department. si migs yung nag-open ng door and kyungsoo and gabby filed inside. kyungsoo brushed against migs and na-amoy niya yung perfume nito. hindi masakit sa ilong, thankfully.

 

“good morning, ma’am,” bati ni kyungsoo sa secretary. “is ma’am boa here?”

 

nangnod ang secretary and she called ma’am boa. their professor went to greet the three of them before she asked them to sit down. in her hands, hawak niya yung agreement na pipirmahan nila. 

 

she handed it to them and explained briefly the contents. kyungsoo did not bother reading it. hindi naman niya binebenta kaluluwa niya kay ma’am boa. ang bilis lang, within minutes, nagsign sila sa bottom page and then they were off.

 

pagbaba nila sa ground floor, it’s still too early to go to bel. nagpunta muna sila outside rizal lib and sat sa free table sa harap ng food stall doon. kyungsoo pulled out his phone and ganoon din si gabby. migs just continued sipping his drink.

 

kyungsoo rin, ininom yung green tea latte niya habang nagscr-scroll sa instagram. he clicked the add story option and called out, “migs! gabby!”

 

saktong lumingon yung dalawa and in their unpreparedness, nagsnap na ng picture si kyungsoo. he was expecting it to look ugly and funny but he pouted to himself kasi bakit ang photogenic naman? migs’ bored expression translated well and gabby’s wide eyes too. 

 

he posted pa rin sa instagram story niya and added the time stamp. he did the same sa snapchat niya, finally posting and bringing snap user _sexbombksoo_ back to life. mostly kasi, his snaps were limited to maintaining streaks with his friends and not really posting for all to see.

 

kyungsoo just waited na magring yung bell with his green tea latte. ang hot pa rin. ang sarap.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

the days passed like that. kyungsoo spent his time with his closest friends and pati na rin with migs and gabby na naging ka-close na rin niya. he was at the library kasi nagpa-free cut yung prof—or well, hindi dumating after 15 minutes—one thursday afternoon when he received a facebook notification.

 

**Migs Kim** mentioned you in a comment. 

 

he clicked the link and it got directed to a selling post in ateneo trade.

 

> **Selling: Sexbomb Girls stickers**
> 
> P25-50
> 
>  
> 
> Are you the biggest fan of the best girl group to ever come out of the Philippines? Wanting to show your pride as a stan? Feeling nostalgic?
> 
>  
> 
> Here are customized sexbomb girls stickers perfect to stick anywhere!
> 
>  
> 
> Individual members are priced 25php each and group stickers are priced at 50php. One whole set of all the OG members and the 3 group stickers will be 350php.
> 
>  
> 
> Customized sexbomb member stickers are also available! I am not, and will never sell, EB Babes stickers!!
> 
>  
> 
> **Migs Kim** and 1,567 others like this.
> 
>  
> 
> COMMENTS 
> 
>  
> 
> **Migs Kim** for u **Kyungsoo Do**
> 
>  

ramdam ni kyungsoo yung _i will not and will never sell eb babes stickers_ ng original na nagpost na si facebook user Johnny Seo. he liked Migs’ comment and the moment na ma-click niya yung thumbs up icon, nag-open na ang private chat niya with migs.

 

**Migs Kim** : soo u want the stickers?

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : OO AHAHAHAHA

**Kyungsoo Do** : i’ll stick it to my laptop

 

**Migs Kim** : k i’ll tell my friend

 

nagtaka si kyungsoo sa meaning ni migs. friend?

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : friend?

 

**Migs Kim** : the seller LOL

**Migs Kim** : i ordered na for u 

**Migs Kim** : i’ll get it from him 

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : omg migs THANK U

**Kyungsoo Do** : u dabest

**Kyungsoo Do** : u r an honorary sexbomb boy

 

**Migs Kim** : WTF HAHAHAHHAHAHA

 

tawa ng tawa si kyungsoo and migs even followed what he did with a bunch of emojis.

 

**Migs Kim** : [fire emoji, fire emoji, LOL emoji]

 

hindi na makapagtype ng mabuti si kyungsoo so he settled for rapidly tapping the crying emoji and alternating it with the star-eyes emoji.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Hi166-S**

 

**Kyungsoo Do** : ty migs for the idea

 

**_Kyungsoo Do_** _changed the group’s name to_ ** _Sexbomb Boys_**.

 

**Gabby Park** : AMPUTA LOLOLOL

**Gabby Park** : gagoooooo

 

**Migs Kim** : [LOL emoji, flexed bicep emoji] 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nasa matteo si kyungsoo with migs and gabby, busy sa pag-finalize ng first part ng paper nila for history. ilang weeks na rin ang nakakalipas and malapit na ang midterms. most tables were still filled kahit na it was almost 6 in the evening. nasa labas sila kasi okay lang naman, malamig kahit walang air con, and dahil kumakain si kyungsoo ng grilled cheese sandwich.

 

“hey, i hafta go,” sabi gabby. he stood up and shut his laptop close. 

 

“uwi ka na?” tanong ni kyungsoo. he was furiously typing pa rin sa laptop niya, trying to bring together ideas and maybe bullshit a few.

 

“naaaah,” sabi ni gabby. migs was seated beside him na naka-earphones. he was clearly uninterested. kyungsoo wondered ano pinapakinggan ni migs cos he was occasionally bopping and doing some dance moves sa seat niya. 

 

“i have a make up class for theo,” answered gabs. “six to nine.”

 

kyungsoo made a face. “ew. three hour class.”

 

natawa si gabby but he did wave goodbye. hinatak niya yung isang earbud sa tenga ni migs and the younger male scowled.

 

“putangina, gabs. ‘no problema mo?” 

 

“dude, alis na ko. just work with kyungsoo na lang. we’re almost done na naman.”

 

migs nodded and he shooed gabby away with the middle finger na din. kyungsoo just shook his head sa kanilang dalawa. 

 

pagka-alis ni gabby, tumayo si migs.

 

“oh alis ka na rin?” kyungsoo frowned.

 

nagsmile si migs. “me? nah. i’m just gonna sit beside you.”

 

kyungsoo sighed in relief. for one, ayaw niyang magwork mag-isa, okay. migs went around the table and sat beside him. his laptop was open sa gdocs ng group nila and sa kabilang tab was various journals from jstor and ebscohost.

 

migs clicked on one of the tabs from ebscohost—a balisacan paper about growth, inequality, and poverty reduction in the philippines. 

 

“i found this paper and i think pweds siya,” migs said.

 

kyungsoo tilted his head. he had not yet read the paper so he browsed he went to the abstract to at least get an idea what the article was about. 

 

migs scooted closer after magbasa ni kyungsoo.

 

“we can strengthen our argument for agrarian reform in the philippines. we already cited evidence ng influence niya sa east asian countries and their development and balisacan and co. were talking about land as a means to reduce poverty. and then—” migs switched to a different paper by balisacan too. “—we can move on into explaining how poverty reduction plays into HDI improvement tapos growth factors and shit.”

 

_and shit_ was a good way to put it, isip ni kyungsoo. saan ba nahanap ni migs ito? it sounded like he was bullshit-ing lang but from an econ perspective (hello, econ track si kyungsoo sa IS ah he knew his stuff), it made a whole lot of sense.

 

“pweds,” kyungsoo said. he scrolled sa document and typed sa isang part to input what migs said ‘ _balisacan agrarian reform to reduce poverty ebscohost_ ’ para ma-note na. 

 

“wait no,” migs stopped him. 

 

binabasa yung pinaglagyan ni kyungsoo. he took kyungsoo’s laptop and sort of crowded sa space niya to type. nilipat niya sa ibang section ng paper. it made more sense now that kyungsoo read the way it would flow. pero pwede naman siguro magtype si migs sa laptop niya di ba? gdocs naman ‘to di ba?

 

“there,” migs said. “much better.”

 

he gave kyungsoo space, finally, before he continued working sa paper nila. he didn’t put his earphones in and he and kyungsoo worked more chill now na sila na lang ang nasa table. kanina kasi, when all three of them were working, may pressure to be in the zone. parang ang hirap magjoke. 

 

now naman, kyungsoo spent as much time as typing as giggling sa mga corny jokes ni migs. mga close to seven siguro when migs’ phone started pinging with notifications straight. 

 

napatingin si kyungsoo. 

 

“uh… are you not gonna answer?”

 

tumingin si migs and shrugged. he picked up his phone and checked the sender’s name. hindi nagbago ang facial expression niya and mas lalong na-curious si kyungsoo as to who the person was. 

 

hindi naman lumayo si migs sa kanya and kyungsoo would like to defend himself—hindi siya chismosa. ang bright lang talaga ng phone screen ni migs kaya kitang kita niya ang mag-unlock and pag-tap ni migs. it was a snapchat notif though and migs tapped the screen to load the message and—

 

“oh my god,” gasp ni kyungsoo.

 

migs startled and halos mabagsak niya phone niya. 

 

“fuck, soo. don’t eavesdrop.”

 

“tangina, oh my god,” kyungsoo said. he really saw—he really just saw—

 

may nagsend ng pic kay migs na sobrang rated. nc-17 type of pic. oh my god. it’s a photo of someone pushing in a dildo up their ass _putangina_. kyungsoo stole a look sa time. it’s two minutes past seven in the evening! bakit merong nudes agad?

 

“migs, what the fuck,” kyungsoo deadpanned. 

 

“shit, kyungsoo,” migs was red in the face. “i swear ‘di ko alam it was that kind of pic.”

 

“your boyfriend sends you nude pics out of the blue?!” medyo shrill ng tono ni kyungsoo kahit na he was trying to keep it down. never nakapag-send ng nude pic si kyungsoo, mostly because natatakot siya na baka kumalat. call him paranoid or whatever pero that’s a big no-no sa kanya.

 

he was not gonna kink shame anyone pero it’s SEVEN in the evening.

 

“he’s not my boyfriend!” depensa ni migs as if that made it better.

 

nagfan si kyungsoo ng face niya because he, too, was blushing. nakakahiya. feeling niya ang bastos niya and nagsend siya ng sorry mentally to the guy sa snapchat ni migs. he did not mean to see a very private photo kahit na 42% fault niya rin for being nosy sa business ng iba and peeking sa screen ni migs. 

 

migs shoved his phone away and naging awkward na ng konti. ilang minutes pa and bumuhos na ang ulan. 

 

“oh shit,” kyungsoo said. “i have no payong.”

 

tumingin siya longingly sa payong na nasa table nila—kay migs ‘yun.

 

nagtext agad siya sa best friend niya.

 

**kyungsoo** : JD do u have extra payong

 

**JD** : i’m not even in school 

 

**kyungsoo** : omg deadssss [skull emoji, skull emoji]

 

umubo si migs and said, “we can share? if you want?”

 

of course, regardless of the awkwardness, kyungsoo nodded.

 

“can we leave na?” he asked.

 

nagnod si migs and nagligpit na silang dalawa ng gamit nila. palakas na yung buhos ng ulan ang kyungsoo wondered what kind of deus ex machina galawan ito—bigla na lang umulan? well, the sky was looking pretty dark kanina pang 5pm so he figured na the rain was long overdue.

 

bumaba na sila ni migs an sa may matteo steps, he stopped, “my car's parked sa baba, near cov courts,” he shook the umbrella open. “i can drive you sa house mo?”

 

kyungsoo bit his lip. “hindi ba out of the way?”

 

migs shrugged lang. “it’s ayt.” he looked at kyungsoo with a smile. “and malakas na ang ulan, you’ll have a hard time getting a trike or grab.”

 

may point si jongin miguel and mahirap na, baka magkasakit pa si kyungsoo. not this close to midterms. he just nodded and naglakad na muna sila ni migs under the awnings. pagdating nila sa sec a, doon na sila lumabas to cross to the cov courts.

 

one thing na masasabi ni kyungsoo— _ang liit pala ng payong na ‘to_.

 

nababasa yung isang shoulder ni kyungsoo and he tried to angle his bag para hindi maulanan. hindi pa naman waterproof tapos leather pa. bad decision, good porma.

 

si migs din nababasa na. yung hair niya, super naka plaster na sa forehead niya. yung maliit na bun niya nakadroop down. small mercy na lang siguro na shaved ang sides like kyungsoo’s full head. malas lang si migs kasi naka salamin siya like kyungsoo and it was fogging and being blurry na with the raindrops.

 

naglalakad sila papunta doon sa parking lot and migs swapped places with kyungsoo para siya yung nasa gilid ng daan.

 

“soo, basa ka na,” migs said over the sound of the heavy rain.

 

kyungsoo made a noise of complaint na close to a whine na. migs just wrapped his arm sa balikat niya tapos naglakad sila pababa. medyo madulas ang concrete because of the rain and migs held on sa balikat ni kyungsoo. 

 

malas nila kasi yung car park dito, hindi talaga maayos na car park. it’s a sad plot of land sa may comm building and ayun, maputik.

 

“shit, soo,” sabi ni migs. “be careful.”

 

yung arm ni jongin nagslide pababa sa basang likod ni kyungsoo. ang higpit niya sa kapit sa waist. kyungsoo did not try to shake him off kasi ang dulas talaga. sobrang dulas. 

 

feeling ni kyungsoo, one wrong move, mahuhulog siya.

 

sa putik ah. sa putik. kyungsoo sidled closer na rin kay migs kasi baka lalo siyang mabasa. migs had his head ducked low kasi ang tangkad niya. malapit na yung car ni migs ang malapit na—ilang steps na lang.

 

parang movie, putangina, nadulas si kyungsoo.

 

“fuck,” sabi ni migs. and then sinalo siya. salong salo. yung arm na nasa waist napunta sa malaman na braso ni kyungsoo. siguro kung movie talaga ‘to, may nagplay na na song while nahuhulog yung payong sa ground.

 

bumuhos yung ulan sa kanila ni migs and basang basa silang dalawa. 

 

the first thing out of kyungsoo’s mouth was a very emotional na, “oh my god, migs, mababasa yung readings ko sa bag!”

 

tangina ni migs. natawa lang siya. pinulot niya mabilis yung payong sa lupa before niya hinila si kyungsoo sa car niya na, thankfully, malapit na lang. he unlocked the car quickly with a press of a button tapos halos matumba na si kyungsoo sa bilis niyang maupo sa tabi ng driver’s seat.

 

si migs din, mabilis na umikot to the other side. he closed the umbrella and shoved it sa floor sa backseat kasama ang bag niya. basa sila both and migs undid his ipit. he wiped his glasses and kyungsoo fished around for his tissue sa bag. may mga wet edges yung readings niya pero safe naman. 

 

kumuha siya ng tissue and inabot kay migs yung isang sheet. he took one for himself and wiped his own eyeglasses. migs did the same and sobrang silent sa car until jongin miguel started laughing.

 

“that was funny,” sabi niya. as if yung buwis buhay act ni kyungsoo was a joke.

 

“migs! i almost died!” kyungsoo joked. lalong natawa si migs sa sinabi niya and kyungsoo unstuck his shirt from his own torso. bakat na ang product ng pinaghirapan niya—pinaghirapan niyang palaguin with all the green tea latte na libre and sponsored nitong katabi niya for some reason.

 

si migs, basa rin. he was wearing a white button down and okay, kyungsoo’s NOT DEAD. 

 

he looked. 

 

sobrang bakat ng abs and ng pecs sa white shirt niya. kyungsoo quickly averted his gaze kasi bawal. that’s bawal. friend niya si migs and migs is… _migs_. 

 

nagshiver si kyungsoo and migs caught the action with his eyes kahit na hindi na siya naka suot ng salamin. his hair was still all over the place and kyungsoo was tempted na ayusin ito mostly because nabo-bother siya sa mess.

 

“hey, soo,” migs said. “take your clothes off.”

 

UM.

 

WHAT.

 

nagulat si kyungsoo and jongin just lifted one eyebrow up. he reached over sa backseat and grabbed another back. it’s a medium sized nike duffel and he looted around inside before tossing kyungsoo a towel.

 

“here,” sabi niya. “dry yourself para hindi ka lamigin.”

 

walang magawa si kyungsoo but follow what migs said. kumuha siya ng something sa backseat ulit.

 

“hubad na,” migs said ulit. he held up a black zip up hoodie sa direction ni kyungsoo.

 

“no thanks,” sabi ni kyungsoo. nakakahiya maghubad sa harap ng isang lalaki na mayroong premium sa gold’s gym. “malapit lang naman.”

 

migs did not let it go. “come on, kyungsoo,” pilit niya. “traffic ‘yan. going to varsity hills would take a long time. baka paglabas pa lang natin from ateneo, abutin na tayo ng 30 minutes.”

 

gusto sabihin ni kyungsoo na baka hindi naman siguro, migs was just exaggerating, pero from the looks of the cars sa road, hindi malabo.

 

“um,” kyungsoo hesitated. he held the bottoms of his shirt and he lifted it quickly. he covered himself with the wet shirt and migs handed him the towel again.

 

mabilis niya kinuha yun all with migs still looking at him. nakaka-pressure ah. grabe. nai-insecure yung love handles ni kyungsoo.

 

after niya magpunas, binigay ni migs yung hoodie. hindi na nagbother mag-unzip si kyungsoo, sinuot na lang niya yung hoodie.

 

maglabas ng ulo niya sa neck hole, nakatingin pa rin si migs. oh my god talaga. this was putting so much pressure on kyungsoo’s tiny bilbil.

 

nagulat siya kasi migs reached over and—

 

and pinched his stomach.

 

“migs!” nagreklamo siya sabay palo sa kamay ni miguel. 

 

tumawa lang si migs.

 

“why? it’s cute!” tawa-tawa pa siya habang kinukuha yung towel tapos nagpunas din. as a multi-tasker nagtatanggal siya ng button while still looking at kyungsoo while also talking. “cute ng bilbil mo.”

 

“migs, ano ba!” kyungsoo whined. so walang abs si kyungsoo—SUE HIM! hindi naman siya pagod pumunta sa gym and he can eat what he wanted. he had pilates naman like twice a week.

 

“i’m kidding. i’m kidding,” sabi ni migs. and then…

 

and then he took his white button down off.

 

kitang kita ni kyungsoo sa malinaw niyang salamin ang pagbunch up ng muscles ni jongin sa likod when he pushed his shirt off. yung biceps niya nag flex, yung abs niya nag contract. lahat na ata ng muscles niya, mas lalong naging evident.

 

naghubad lang siya niyan ah. 

 

akala ni kyungsoo na magbibihis na si migs but he just combed through his hair ang he put it up in a bun again. sa friendship ata na ito, si migs and gabby ang in charge sa buhok. so his hair was fixed, akala ni kyungsoo magbibihis na si jongin but no.

 

no.

 

he turned the ignition on and started driving ng walang damit. lumabas siya sa parking and waited until makasingit siya sa line of cars going out of ateneo.

 

“migs, malamig,” kyungsoo said. medyo nacho-choke na siya. now that nakasindi na ang air con, even mahina lang because of the weather, he could smell the lingering cigarette smoke sa car ni migs and yung perfume niya na nakasanayan na ni kyungsoo na maamoy.

 

the hoodie also smelled the same. 

 

ayaw ni kyungsoo sa amoy ng sigarilyo out of self preservation but somehow, sobrang nasanay na siya sa smell na ito. he still did not like it pero he did not hate it also.

 

“soo,” tawag ni migs. his right hand was holding the steering wheel while his other hand was tapping sa lap niya. 

 

“yeah?”

 

“sa backseat, i have another top. pakuha?” migs requested.

 

of course, sunod si kyungsoo. he sat up on his knees and hinanap niya yung shirt doon sa bag na binalik na ni migs kanina pa. he opened the zipper and plucked out the first thing that he saw. he tossed it sa direction ni migs na mukhang hindi sa road nakatingin but sa pagitan ng front seats? where kyungsoo was previously—

 

oh my god nakakahiya. his ass was up in the air like it was nothing.

 

“migs, fuck, sorry,” sabi ni kyungsoo. sobrang nakakahiya talaga siya. 

 

migs sighed lang and looked over at kyungsoo. traffic ulit so stop sila. he reached over, WALANG SHIRT, and hinatak yung seatbelt. he put it on for kyungsoo and yung dibdib niya halos masubsob na sa mukha ni kyungsoo. migs was in 1080p high definition sa harap niya.

 

it was the most uncomfortable moment sa short life ni kyungsoo. sana nagpaulan na lang siya at nagkasakit rather than put himself through this. 

 

fortunately, nagdamit na si migs afterwards.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_ unfortunately, muscle tee iyon. kyungsoo has no idea bakit may kailangang magflex ng malaking biceps while driving. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes tapos na next chapter na tayo AKA pasok DJ gabby!! (hehe pasok daw hehe papasok talaga siya hehe may papasukan hehe)


	6. that summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post-sex talks are only nostalgic when you're b and gabby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg 10k chapters i didn't expect this lolol i cut some part and decided to put it sa next chapter which will be migs so ayun read on for the REVELEYSHUN

> **Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 11m
> 
> frankie’s please TT TT

 

nagscr-scroll si baekhyun sa twitter ni gabby and yun ang una niyang nakita pag refresh niya. b was lying on chanyeol’s chest and gabby made a noise on the back of his throat.

 

“is that kyungsoo?” tanong niya. 

 

“which?” balik ni b. he liked a tweet of one of chanyeol’s mutuals na nag-throwback ng photo niya sa beach with a caption na _missing the sun_. hindi niya mapigilan na magroll ng eyes kasi wala namang sun sa photo—puro guns.

 

“the frankie’s tweet,” sagot ni gabs. baekhyun nodded and gabby took his phone from his hold.

 

tumaas ng konti si b and gabby wrapped his arms around his waist. yung palm niya was on baekhyun’s toned stomach, flat na flat, while gabby's fingers were playing and running over the band of b’s boxers. si baekhyun din, his hand was on chanyeol’s pec. nagte-trace siya ng absent minded patters. 

 

gabby made a noise and natawa siya. “tite ba yung dinrawing mo?”

 

naggiggle si b. tite nga ang nai-drawing niya. he did not answer and chanyeol hummed, ramdam ni b kasi he was lying on the taller male’s chest. medj nakakakiliti yung vibrations and b bit his lower lip para hindi siya matawa.

 

“hey, b,” sabi ni gabby. “what if i send frankie’s to kyungsoo?”

 

gustong mag-roll ng mata ni baekhyun. ano ba? ang effort.

 

he said as much and chanyeol just grinned, “you know me.”

 

may point si gabby. baekhyun knew the other man and knowing gabby, regardless of ano man ang sagot ni b, he would go to his food panda app and order kyungsoo food from frankie’s.

 

“if may pera ka,” b shrugged. bahala si gabby na gumastos. “tweet him back para he knows.”

 

nagnod si gabby and baekhyun watched as he typed in a reply to kyungsoo. gustong magsnort ni baekhyun kasi that was literally every gabby reply ever sa mga potential fubus niya. 

 

ganito ang modus operandi ng isang chanyeol gabriel n. park—lure you in with his kindness, make you like him with his attentiveness, and then make you stay because he can fuck you senseless.

 

b is the living testament of that, kind of. mostly because b was probably the only exception, like the song. his and gabby’s history did not go that way. mostly because—

 

“there. i sent it na,” gabby said. pinakita niya yung yung kay reply niya kay kyungsoo as if hindi pa nakita ni b kung paano siya nagtype.

 

> **Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 13m
> 
> frankie’s please TT TT
> 
> **Gabby** @ParkItRightHere - 4s
> 
> what flavor? [LOL emoji, eye emoji, eye emoji]

 

out of boredom, baekhyun just latched his mouth on gabby’s jawline. he could only reach, from this position, a small patch of skin. ang smooth. baekhyun liked that chanyeol shaved himself clean kasi sobrang hassle talaga ng beard burn for the both of them. 

 

nakita ni baekhyun na nagkaroon ng notif si chanyeol. nagreply na si kyungsoo sa tanong ni gabby.

 

> **Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 14m
> 
> frankie’s please TT TT
> 
> **Gabby** @ParkItRightHere - 1m
> 
> what flavor? [LOL emoji, eye emoji, eye emoji]
> 
> **Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 2s
> 
> honey  & garlic huhu gabby are u free right now? leggo frankie’s plsssss

 

okay. baekhyun would admit na nanigas siya. his lips on gabby's skin stilled out of kaba. one thing was running in his mind— _will gabby say yes and iiwan siya_? not to be dramatic and sure, gabby was allowed to have friends naman pero siya ang nagset up ng hook up nila now. ang sad naman kung aalis siya when nakakaisang round pa lang sila.

 

“saying yes?” tanong ni b. he pressed an open mouthed kiss sa gilid ng neck ni gabby. he rolled over and pumatong siya kay gabriel.

 

gabby adjusted so he could still see his phone screen. umangat siya ng konti so most of his back was against the pillows. si baekhyun was on top pa rin but the taller male could still see the screen of his phone. baekhyun kissed gabby sa jugular niya, knowing na weak spot niya ito.

 

“and leave you?” gabby replied roughly. his other hand was on b’s ass, cupping one cheek and squeezing. baekhyun moaned and his head forehead thumped near gabby’s collar bone.

 

“leave _that_?” the taller male added. 

 

inayos ni baekhyun ang sarili niya so he could see once more what was happening on chanyeol’s twitter.

 

> **Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 16m
> 
> frankie’s please TT TT
> 
> **Gabby** @ParkItRightHere - 2m
> 
> what flavor? [LOL emoji, eye emoji, eye emoji]
> 
> **Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 1m
> 
> honey  & garlic huhu gabby are u free right now? leggo frankie’s plsssss
> 
> **Gabby** @ParkItRightHere - 1s
> 
> nah can’t.. but i can food panda [fire emoji, fire emoji, fire emoji]

 

gabby opened his food panda app, even without replying to kyungsoo. 

 

“you know his address?” b asked, incredulous. “ang creepy, gabs, ah.”

 

“shut up, b,” gabby replied. “i dropped him off once, okay. we used gps so.”

 

nagnod lang si b and watched as gabby picked 1/2 dozen of honey and garlic chicken wings. hindi pa pasok yung order sa minimum amount so gabby chose an additional order of bleu cheese dip to be delivered to kyungsoo’s address. nilagay niya sa notes to put na the order was from _gabby park_.

 

he finalized everything and then took a screenshot of the order confirmation. baekhyun watched as gabby pulled his texts with one _kyungsoo_ [peach emoji].

 

“ang gago,” sabi ni baekhyun. “peach emoji talaga. objectification much?”

 

natawa si gabby. “don’t worry, b. yours is three peaches with a heart.”

 

alam ni baekhyun yun, of course. he knew gabby’s password and nakita na niya lahat na ata ng dapat makita sa phone ni gabby, pati na rin yung mga nudes that other people sent for his fubu. sometimes, hinuhusgahan pa niya with running commentary because he would like to reiterate na yes, baekhyun byun is a different brand of special.

 

fubu lang siya pero siya ang original fubu.

 

gabby sent through imessage yung screenshot and he added a bunch of kissy face emojis. wala pa sigurong one minute ay may reply agad.

 

**kyungsoo** : GABBY!?!?!??!?!?!?!?1/?!?

 

natawa si gabby and baekhyun, too, could not help but laugh. well, medyo naawa siya kay kyungsoo kasi kung bumigay ‘to, isa na naman siya sa pagpa-practice-an ni gabby at papakitaan niya ng skills niya sa pagtali ng condoms, at pagshoot sa basurahan.

 

at pagshoot na rin sa iba’t ibang butas. 

 

**gabs** : enjoy [kissy face emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart emoji in red]

 

“gabby, you’re a fucking cliche,” sabi ni baekhyun judgmentally.

 

he also silently prayed kay st. ignatius de loyola, kay jesus christ, at kay papa god himself na bigyan ng lakas and survival instincts si kyungsoo kasi baka one or so blinks na lang, warakin na rin siya ni gabby katulad ng pagwarak niyang ginawa kay baekhyun.

 

gabby gripped baekhyun’s torso and he pulled him, manhandling the smaller male, hanggang sa magtama ang mga mukha nila. nag-align ang mata nila like the planets, and gabby leaned in to steal a kiss. or well, as much as it could be called stealing kasi willing naman si baekhyun. willing na willing po.

 

“cliche pero papakantot ka,” sabi ni gabby against his lips.

 

medyo nanginig si baekhyun. medyo lang naman. baka nilamig lang siya kasi wala siyang suot na damit now. boxers lang. grabe. can someone turn the air con off?!

 

“wala lang akong choice,” balik ni baekhyun. 

 

si gabby, may audacity na magpout. oh my god. this time, totoo ng nanginig si baekhyun kasi bakit ang cute? walang karapatan si chanyeol gabriel n. park to look this way while giving baekhyun ten crises at the same time.

 

so of course, si baekhyun—tanga. he kissed the pout off of gabby’s lips. 

 

si gabby naman—malibog. kapit agad sa pwet ni baekhyun, kapit na kapit nang sobrang higpit akala mo takot mahulog.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_and nangyari na nga ang dapat mangyari na siya naman talagang pinunta ni chanyeol gabriel n. park sa condo ni baekhyun b. byun_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

baekhyun was sitting sa one and only couch in his studio unit. nakabukas na yung tv and he was watching some shitty movie sa HBO. he was wearing some large shirt na hindi niya sure if kanya or kay gabby. they did have the same taste in clothes among other things.

 

“gabby,” b called out habang may nagaganap na car chase sa harap niya. he was sitting in a loose lotus position tapos may pillow on top of his lap.

 

gabby was rooting around sa fridge niya and the taller male came up with a barely touched bottle of blue gatorade. he uncapped it and took a swig. ayan, na-replenish na ang electrolytes and fluids na nawala sa kanya. and mga fluids na, well, sinipsip ni baekhyun out of him.

 

gabs plopped down beside him sa sofa and ang messy ng hair niya. baekhyun went on his knees and reach for one of the head bands scattered around his condo na about niya.

 

of course, gabby slapped his ass.

 

“gabs!” baekhyun yelped kahit na masarap. 

 

“don’t,” he added in a warning kahit na nasarapan siya.

 

si gagong chanyeol, tumawa lang and nagwink. hawak pa rin niya yung gatorade as he sat sa couch in a manspread. b reached for the first head band na nakita niya. naiwan ata itong ng pamangkin niya sa unit niya before and sobrang cute nito. lagi siyang nalilimutan iuwi ni baekhyun sa kanila hanggang sa nasama na siya sa collection ng hair accessories sa apartment niya.

 

lumuhod siya sa side ni gabby and he placed the head band before dragging it upwards para hindi nagkalat ang buhok ni chanyeol gabriel everywhere. the headband, dahil nga it was owned by baekhyun’s six year old niece, was made out of plastic tapos may nakabalot na red satin dito. sa one side was a big red flower na napaka bongga ng petals.

 

natawa si baekhyun and he grabbed gabby’s phone to snap a pic. walang expression si gabs so baekhyun whined, complaining, “you have to smile.”

 

“i hate the headband,” sabi ni gabby. before baekhyun can even lecture him kasi bakit ba flowers could be for boys din, gabs added, “red is not my color.”

 

lalong natawa si baekhyun and gabby finally cracked a smile. he leaned back as b took a pic. chanyeol’s almost-shoulder length na curly hair was held back by the large eye catching hair accessory. naka hubad rin siya and kita yung mga marks na iniwan ni baekhyun sa pecs ni chanyeol. 

 

chanyeol even flexed, making sure na makukuha sa camera ang result ng hirap niya sa gym. b resisted to roll his eyes kasi, okay. fine. kung kasing ganda ng katawan niya ang katawan na pinaghirapan ni gabs, aba, baka magfe-flex na lang siya 25/7.

 

the result of the picture was over all ridiculous and baekhyun sent it to his phone kasi yes, hobby niya na ipaalala sa sarili niya na gabby’s fubus may come and go pero siya pa rin, siya lang ulit.

 

or something like that. hindi na matandaan ni baekhyun ng mabuti yung movie kung saan galing ang dialogue na yan.

 

while hawak niya pa rin yung phone ni gabs, nagkaroon ng notif from twitter. kyungsoo mentioned gabby. 

 

“uy,” he said. “i think dumating na yung padeliver mo for kyungsoo.”

 

baekhyun clicked the notification open and nakita niya yung tweet and then—

 

“oh—my—god,” he managed to say in between rounds of loud laughter. “gabby. you won’t—believe—this.”

 

tawa pa rin ng tawa si baekhyun until gabby took his phone from his hold to look at the tweet himself. hindi naman naghesitate si baekhyun na ibigay. one, because phone ito ni gabs and two was because nawalan na siya ng lakas sa sobrang kakatawa niya.

 

> **Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 2m
> 
> did you both plan this? >_< @migskim @ParkItRightHere
> 
> [image of two opened takeout boxes of wings from frankie’s, various sauces, one bleu cheese dip, and one spam mac and cheese]
> 
> **Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 1m
> 
> but ty u both are the best *-*
> 
>  

“fuck,” napa groan si gabby. baekhyun was still trying to catch his breath. it took a round a minute bago nakahanap ng lakas si b na magsalita without breaking into loud laughter.

 

“gago, gabs,” he said, huffing. nakakapagod tumawa. “daig ka ni migs. siya may mac and cheese.”

 

“tangina, b,” sabi ni gabby. “i fucking hate migs.”

 

natawa si b.

 

“ano ba kasing nangyari?” he scooted closer kay chanyeol. “why were you two trying it with kyungsoo? naaawa ako kay kalbong cutie because of you and jongin miguel.”

 

nagshrug si gabs. “type ko siya. i called dibs. type din siya ni migs. and kilala mo naman si jongin miguel—he’s a competitive motherfucker.”

 

“grabe. i don’t know sa inyong dalawa.” baekhyun shook his head. “you’re best friends, right? baka naman mag-away pa kayo because of one ass.”

 

“it’a pretty fat ass,” sabi ni gabby but he lifted one broad shoulder. ang ridiculous na nakahubad pa rin siya tapos meron siyang suot na bright red flower headband. “but nah. migs and i were just looking for a good time. it’s nothing serious.”

 

tumaas ang kilay ni b. of course, it would not be serious. migs and gabby would not know serious even if it sucked their dicks.

 

“bahala kayo but mukhang mauuna si migs sayo.” b pointed the screen of chanyeol’s phone. “nauna name niya sa mention oh.”

 

gabs rolled his eyes. 

 

“maybe alphabetical order,” he grumbled.

 

sobrang tawang tawa si baekhyun kasi yung mukha ni gabby, very annoyed. he was jabbing sa phone screen niya and lapit si baekhyun to eavesdrop. nakita niya na nakapull up ang messages with migs.

 

**gabs** : putangina mo gago

 

**migs** : you used food panda? weak

**migs** : i brought it to his place myself

 

nagsnort si baekhyun. “sabi ko sayo, chanyeol gabriel park. talo ka na ni migs.”

 

naggrumble ulit si gabby and as if sign from god nagsend ng link si migs sa imessage nila. the moment na naclick ni gabby yung link, he instantly regretted it.

 

> **Migs** @migskim - 3m
> 
> frankie’s take out with this one @sexbombksoo [smiling face with tongue poking out to the side emoji, call-me hand emoji]
> 
> [image of a smiling kyungsoo wearing plastic gloves and holding up a chicken wing]

 

baekhyun can’t help na mapa-snort. mukhang matatalo si gabs sa competition nila na ito. he chose not to say it though kasi alam niyang mas lalong maiinis si gabby. 

 

instead, he commented mirthfully, “sobrang haba naman ng hair ni kyungsoo do for someone who’s semi kalbs.” and because he was in a good mood, medyo mapusok, baekhyun added, “sana all.”

 

lumingon si gabs sa kanya. “what do you _even_ mean by that?”

 

nagshrug si baekhyun. grabe. ang tanga rin ni chanyeol minsan but it’s not like b would fault him for it. 

 

si chanyeol, manhid. si baekhyun, duwag.

 

kahit na matanggal sa equation yung pagkakaroon ni chanyeol ng constant options for fubus and yung fact na isa si baekhyun sa mga options na yun, parang malabo pa rin. hindi pa rin makita ng 20/20 vision ni baekhyun.

 

“i meant,” sabi niya with a playful grin as he picked up chanyeol’s phone again. “sana like kyungsoo, masarap din kainin natin. hindi pwedeng siya lang.”

 

“ah,” gabby nodded. baekhyun smiled fondly—parang tanga lang talaga. “what do you want to eat? can we get them delivered? i’m kinda tired to drive and buy whatever you would have wanted.” 

 

nagscroll si gabby sa phone niya, suggesting food places here and there. 

 

“north park? mcdo? krispy kreme? chili’s?” to which b said no to.

 

“eh what do you want nga kasi?” gabby needled him. he groaned and added, “fine. sige na. we can eat outside din if you want. basta malapit lang—bawal lumabas ng QC.”

 

nag-isip si baekhyun. gusto ba niyang lumabas? parang no naman ata. he was pretty damn comfy in his large shirt and shorts na suot. besides, ang ganda ng view sa condo niya aka ang hubad na katotohanan ni gabs plus the cute headband pa.

 

suddenly, may idea na siya after niyang maalala yung frankie’s order. he did not hate kyungsoo kasi biktima and future biktima lang din naman siya dito pero hindi naman santo si baekhyun, petty siya.

 

ano ba ang wala kay kyungsoo right now at na kay baekhyun? yes, correct.

 

“pagluto mo ko? please~” baekhyun asked cutely. nagsnort si gabs but he did stand up, palakad sa small area where baekhyun’s kitchenette was. 

 

“pancit canton chilimansi with sunny side up egg and hot milo, right? like usual,” ang sabi ni gabby as he opened the cup board with certainty. alam na alam na niya kung nasaan nakatago ang lucky me instant pancit canton stash ni baekhyun.

 

baekhyun smiled.

 

“like usual.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“sehun, please,” pakiusap ni baekhyun. “go with me?”

 

_oops. freeze frame. ito na naman tayo. sanay na dapat kayo_.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_meet sehun andrei oh, baekhyun’s closest and bestest friend. sehun to platonic relationships, drei to the sexual ones. pero make no mistake, kahit na friends siya with migs kim, he’s NOT one of them. sehun is a good boy through and through._

 

“it’s a party.” sehun rolled his eyes. “no, thanks, baekhyun.”

 

nasa gino’s sila ngayon sharing their favorite na SMEGG pizza and a plate of salted egg pasta between the two of them. favorite din ni baekhyun ito kasi mahilig talaga siya egg, lalo na sa egg na maalat. 

 

sehun was cutting his pizza slice drizzled with the spiced honey using his knife while b was busy convincing him that _it’s good idea, sehun! it’s a friday naman_!

 

“exactly! it’s a college party!” sabi ni b after niya magswallow ng pasta bite. “you’ll have fun. makakahanap ka kaagad ng kasama.”

 

tumaas ang kilay ni sehun. 

 

“so you just plan on leaving me alone?”

 

ngumiti si baekhyun with sheepishness kasi okay, nabuko siya ni sehun. the bad thing about having a friend as close as sehun was that bawat ikot ng intestines ni baekhyun, alam nito.

 

“please?” baekhyun pulled the puppy dog eyes kahit na he knew it would not work on sehun.

 

“b. one, we’re not even part of the org that is throwing the party. two, the org is not even from the ateneo,” sehun said dryly.

 

nagsip muna si baekhyun ng dalandan juice niya.

 

“it’s not like they’re gonna check our IDs sa front door,” baekhyun grumbled. “no one does that.”

 

“ano bang meron sa party na ‘to…?” sehun trailed off and kinuha na niya yung phone niya. he went to facebook and immediately looked for the event. mabilis niya nahanap kasi meron silang page and e-invites.

 

he clicked the promotional picture. it’s a simple party lang naman. nothing special kasi it’s a mid semester event. the promo featured men and women na 10/10 pero hindi sila ang nagcatch ng attention ni sehun.

 

sa isang part ng photo, merong very glaring na—GABBY PARK _._

 

“so…” sehun twirled the pasta around his fork. “you want to go ‘cause of chanyeol gabriel park? your ka-fubu.”

 

“um… you know… kasi…” 

 

uminit ang tenga ni baekhyun kasi _busted!_ huling huli siya ni sehun. hindi niya na-mention sa best friend niya na gabby was one of the people doing the promos for the event. kahit na hindi part si chanyeol ng university where the org belonged to, or even the partner organization ng org na ito, he was pretty well known sa collegiate party scene.

 

“your fubu will DJ for this party?” tanong ni sehun.

 

nagnod si baekhyun. gabby’s a DJ, more of freelance lang naman. he did not have a big career out of it, but he was very popular in certain niches. mostly because he’s gabby park but baekhyun had gone to some of his events and he could spin well. 

 

“he’s not the main DJ or anything but he invited me so.” sagot ni baekhyun. 

 

he was fiddling sa pasta sa harap niya. he really did want to go to the party because of chanyeol at wala ng iba. marupok siya, okay? and parties would usually lead to something fun so bakit tatanggi si baekhyun. he just wanted sehun to come kasi he knew na his best friend was stressing about acads and the impending midterm exams.

 

also, kasi nga, he wanted to make sure na maraming tao sa party kasi gabby. ayun nga. yes. marupok siya, short explanation.

 

“oh my god, b.” sehun said, very exasperated. “reality check: are you the only person he invited?”

 

nagfrown si baekhyun. alam niya ang sagot. chanyeol promoted the event on his social media accounts and he did sent mass invites to people. he did know na he personally asked a couple of people to come, not only b. in fact, alam ni baekhyun na migs and kyungsoo (yes, the history group mate na mahaba ang hair despite being semi kalbo na lowkey kinakaawaan niya) were invited din.

 

“see,” sehun pointed out before he took a bite of his pizza. his tone was strongly reeking of _i told you so_.

 

nagshrug si b.

 

“it’s not important kung sino ang na-invite ni gabby,” baekhyun said with a haughty tone. “what’s important is kung sino ang iuuwi niya.”

 

sehun pretended to gag on his salted egg pasta and baekhyun just smiled triumphantly kasi sehun slumped down.

 

with a defeated voice, sehun said, “basta ikaw magbabayad ng door price.”

 

baekhyun nodded. it was a small price to pay to get sehun to socialize and forget about his midterm orals with a terror prof. 

 

“i will, i will. ako bahala,” baekhyun said. “just show up to my condo and we can grab together.”

 

taas ulit ang kilay ni sehun. “gabs won’t pick you up?”

 

“uh—” b paused. “well, he’s gonna go with kyungsoo and migs so…”

 

nagroll ng eyes si sehun and uminom siya ng dalandan juice niya.

 

“b, you know? nung nagsaboy si god ng fuckboy repellent, i’m sure na busy ka getting dicked down by a fuckboy.”

 

“don’t call gabby a fuckboy!” b defended agad.

 

wala ng sinabi si sehun and the younger man just ate his pizza.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

just because hindi makikita ni gabby park si baekhyun before the event, ibig sabihin noon ay hindi na siya magsho-show up to the party. dumating si sehun sa condo niya in his tight skinnies and probably the most boring plain white button down ever.

 

“can you please push your sleeves up?” sabi ni b. sehun looked bored out of his mind but did what baekhyun had told him to do.

 

baekhyun was walking around his condo in the tightest pair of skinny jeans that he owned. it’s black and hindi ripped so it made him look taller kasi the rips would not break the length of his legs. it made him look like he was six foot tall.

 

he grabbed two hangers from his closet and held it up in front of sehun.

 

“which?” he said. 

 

sehun looked up from his phone and nodded to the hanger that b was holding in his right hand. 

 

“that one with gold stripes.”

 

b agreed. ito rin ang first choice niya. it was just that, suddenly, nagmukhang appealing din yung isang top. he went with sehun’s choice though and half tucked the shirt into his jeans. he let it look messy, but not sloppy.

 

enough lang ba to say na _i didn’t put any effort to this because i did not have to_. he mussed his hair and started doing his makeup. sehun was starting to make little grumbling noises kasi b heard na natatalo na siya sa nilalaro niyang game.

 

he finished his eye makeup swiftly and opted for a sheer wash of color sa cheeks and lips, enough to make him look alive.

 

tiningnan niya ang sarili niya sa mirror and undid another button para mas kita ang soft skin niya and ang collar bones. loose yung shirt so b would try na yumuko sa harap ni gabby para makita ng taller male ang kanyang chest and abs. he put on some necklaces din but mostly kept it simple na.

 

mukha kasi ang nagdadala. once he put his shoes on and grabbed his card wallet, house key, and phone, he turned to sehun.

 

“let’s go,” b said. parang war lang.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

people were already trickling in and out of metro tent and baekhyun slipped the people manning the small booth some cash as payment for their entry ni sehun. hindi pa siya nakakastep ng mga two steps kailangan na ulit niyang magstop kase ang daming “B!!” “sehun, brooo!” and of course, “oh my god! drei! haven’t seen you in so long ah!”

 

in the end, nakatakas si baekhyun and sehun by making themselves scarce. baekhyun texted chanyeol agad kasi masyado siyang maganda to wait for gabby park.

 

**b** : where u

 

mabilis ang reply ni gabs. hindi siguro siya ang nagdrive ngayon.

 

**gabs** : finding parking

 

**b** : k i’m here lang inside

 

so of course, si baekhyun—naghintay. like always. sehun was nowhere to be found na and baekhyun clicked his tongue kasi ito ba yung ayaw sumama? ito ba yung gusto pa ilibre para lang ma-convince na magparty? hindi pa lasing nawala na?

 

ilang minutes pa ang lumipas and baekhyun was the first one to notice chanyeol looking for him. how could he not when he was practically towering over everyone else.

 

gabby’s hair was mostly left alone and b felt the familiar itch to run his fingers through the strands. his curly hair was brushing the tops of his shoulders in a half ponytail. he looked good in his black skinny jeans na may rips and his chunky designer sneakers. naka bomber jacket siya with patches and underneath that, baekhyun knew na black sando.

 

chanyeol really liked showing off his body while DJ-ing so no doubt na mamaya, wala na yung jacket niya kaya kita na ang lahat ng dapat makita.

 

“hey, b,” chanyeol greeted him. he bent down and hugged baekhyun loosely before they exchanged besos. yung finger ni gabs naglinger sa collar bone ni baekhyun.

 

once nagpart sila, nagstep away si chanyeol to reveal—

 

“kyungsoo?” he asked sa kalbong lalaki. 

 

kyungsoo was shorter than B in person and he was tiny all over. tiny shaved head, tiny face, tiny, tiny, tiny. baekhyun wanted to squish him and maybe hide him from the dangers of the likes of gabby park and migs kim.

 

“you know me?” tanong ni kyungsoo. he was in a pair of black jeans din and a black tee na naka tucked in. it’s all very boring and conservative. but in fairness, b thought, ang liit ng waist niya and ang wide ng hips. no wonder migs and gabs were trying to outdo each other.

 

ganito talaga ang tipuhan nila.

 

“gabby had told me stuff about you,” sabi ni b. he shot gabs a teasing look that gabby returned with a smirk.

 

kyungsoo frowned. “well, um. sorry? i don’t think na i—”

 

baekhyun decided to cut cutie off and save him from himself. 

 

“i’m baekhyun or b. whatever you want,” he introduced himself.

 

the guy sighed in relief and extended his hand, “kyungsoo—but you already know that.”

 

nagsmile si b and he took the hand to shake it. he wondered while they were still outside and then realized sino pa ang missing sa kanilang tatlo.

 

“oh yeah.” he turned to gabby. “where’s migs?”

 

“finding parking,” ang laughing na reply ni kyungsoo. “he brought his car also. ayaw pa sumabay sa amin ni gabs.”

 

tumaas ang kilay ni baekhyun. kyungsoo went with gabby? aba. he gave one look sa fubu niya as if trying to convey na yes, gabriel, may pag-asa ka pa over your other archangel best friend.

 

“he brought his car,” explain ni gabby. “dagdag traffic pa but whatever.”

 

baekhyun shrugged and asked kyungsoo for a selfie. ang shy ng shorter male and once the photo was taken, one na silang dalawa lang, and another with gabs, he stared sa photo of the both of them.

 

kyungsoo looked stark and plain against him. not in a bad way, more of a boring way siguro. he’s pretty but he’s the type of pretty na dapat alagaan. baekhyun, once again, felt bad for him for catching migs’ and gabby’s eyes. 

 

but at the same time, may part si baekhyun na nagsasabi na if kyungsoo were to go with someone else, let it be jongin miguel kim.

 

speak of the devil and he shall appear.

 

migs made his way sa crowd, dodging the same _dude, pare, bro, hey haven’t seen you in so long_ na mga bati from the people here. it was not like it was weird. even if ibang university ito, meron pa ring nakakakilala kila migs probably from when they were in high school pa.

 

baekhyun gave migs an appreciative look. it seemed na jongin miguel was hell bent on impressing someone too. 

 

he was in plain jeans but his top was a striped cardigan siguro. it was cut in a deep V and yung top button, undone. his hair was mussed and carelessly done. sobrang lakas ng post-sex vibes niya kahit na kakarating pa lang niya.

 

he stood beside kyungsoo and b watched the way na migs pressed himself close. it was not even subtle. it was a clear show of—possession? it was not the right word pero it was a clear message to anyone here na kyungsoo was with someone.

 

he wondered when gabby would make his move. 

 

“let’s go?” migs said. before gabby could do anything, si migs mabilis ang kilos. his arm around kyungsoo’s waist to lead him sa entrace and gabby was left with baekhyun. medyo offensive ah kasi feeling ni baekhyun fourth wheel siya sa dapat sana ay tricycle lang.

 

“tara na,” he said and gabby followed. his eyes kept up kina migs and kyungsoo and he was surprised na kyungsoo’s black shirt had a zipper na bukas sa likod. very cute. parang morning shift in front, graveyard shift at the back.

 

b knew na gabby’s set would be in a little bit pa so sumunod silang tatlo to grab some drinks doon sa makeshift bar. the beer was free flowing, even if yung nakuha ni b was already kind of lukewarm and stale na.

 

maaga pa naman but alam na niya na the party would not be very fun. hindi siya sure if tumatanda na ba siya and he much rather would just get drunk and get this over with, or talagang nawala siya sa mood.

 

gabby was hovering around migs and kyungsoo and baekhyun rolled his eyes. he sidled up to migs and nudged him sa shoulder para naman makagawa ng move si gabby.

 

“hey, migs,” sabi niya. “haven’t seen you around ah.”

 

truth be told, b would rather stay away kay migs. contrary to popular belief, never silang nagkaroon ng anything ni jongin. it was just that, nagcl-clash talaga ang personalities nila both. add to the fact na parehas silang blunt to the point of carelessness and siguro insensitivity na rin.

 

migs raised his bottle of beer sa direction niya and hindi man lang siya pinansin nito. ugh. sayang ang eye makeup niya. sobrang offensive talaga ah. pare-parehas lang naman silang trying to get laid dito pero bakit merong monopoly si kyungsoo? si kyungsoo who was not looking to get laid, most likely, kasi you don’t show up to an event in a black shirt hoping that it was enough to get you the bigger dicks of the party pool.

 

baekhyun huffed. wala siyang mapapala kay migs. he stepped aside and walked closer kina kyungsoo and chanyeol. instead of stepping into gabby’s space, sa tabi siya ni kyungsoo dumikit.

 

“so, kyungsoo who’s gabby’s history group mate,” he said. the place was not very loud pa. there was some amateur DJ trying to hype the crowd pero wala deads. “tell me about yourself.”

 

kyungsoo was wide eyed and staring at baekhyun. “uh… i’m from IS?”

 

“ano ba? we’re not here to talk about acads,” baekhyun said. “we’re here to talk about important stuff—politics, the economy, how many dicks you’ve sucked…”

 

“oh my god,” kyungsoo whispered to himself. baekhyun confirmed it—shy type nga.

 

“come on,” baekhyun tried to wheedle the smaller male with his eye smiles. he was aware of gabby watching and listening. he was sure na migs would be too. 

 

baekhyun rolled his eyes—he could not believe he was now playing the role of the wing man. he just hoped na yung pambato niya yung gagawa ng move aka si migs para naman si b na ang makagawa ng move sa gusto niyang mambato sa kanya aka gabby.

 

“ako,” he said. “mga one or two, depends kung weekday or weekend.”

 

natawa si kyungsoo sa joke and sa lascivious na wink ni baekhyun and he eased up, sipping his beer.

 

“well,” kyungsoo said. “i had one boyfriend ever so…”

 

“so one lang?” baekhun asked, disbelieving. if inexperienced si kyungsoo, mas type si ni migs. gabby preferred his partners na… _magis_.

 

“i had two other flings that went at least up to that point so three?” kyungsoo offered with a small grin. hala. now baekhyun definitely felt guilty na itina-try niyang itaboy si kyungsoo kay jongin miguel.

 

migs would eat him alive. iiwanan si kyungsoo na sirang sira ang at least one out of two Ps niya—either the puso or the pwet. kung may pepe si kyungsoo, pati iyon baka hindi pinatawad ni migs. 

 

“grabe—three dicks sucked your entire life!” baekhyun pitied kyungsoo.he could not imagine living his life the same way. kahit na he had, well, feelings for gabby, he was not about to become celibate. baekhyun b. byun did not pine. also, sex was amazing when done right.

 

“maybe you’re asexual?” migs asked.

 

baekhyun resisted the urge to internally cheer. the taller male was on his second bottle of beer na judging by how full it looked. kanina kasi paubos na ito. 

 

“definitely not,” kyungsoo shook his head with a laugh. “i guess i never bothered? i mean, i can’t see myself on tinder so…”

 

“how about fubus?” tanong ni gabby.

 

baekhyun stopped himself from cursing. tangina, migs. one point for gabriel park. baekhyun wanted to stomp and violently kick the air. this was not what he wanted.

 

“not re—i never really considered?” sagot ni kyungsoo. 

 

thank fuck at lumapit si migs, crowding himself in front of kyungsoo (and b, but he knew na irrelevant siya sa mata ni jongin now). eyes on the ass—the prize. well, same thing. 

 

“baka naman your friends before weren’t very—” migs paused and leaned in. sobrang show lang yung paglean in niya kasi rinig pa rin ni b and presumably, ni gabby. “—very fubu material?”

 

pati si baek, nagshiver. that was very powerful. the way migs’ voice dipped low and husky, it was a commendable effort.

 

from the corner of his eyes, baekhyun saw gabby scowling. ayan. buti nga sa ‘yo.

 

before may mangyari, someone interrupted them. event staff asking for gabby to set up na kasi he had to DJ.

 

he nodded sa staff and told her na susunod na siya. kakaubos lang ng first beer ni kyungsoo and gabby was quick to replace it with another na based from the condensation, malamig. hay, b thought again, sana all (may malamig din na beer).

 

he finished his and did not bother getting a new one. baka malasin pa siya ang mapunta sa kanya stale na naman. merong another bar for cocktails and other harder drinks though yung isa, they put on your tab and then you had to pay for it. 

 

hindi naman issue ang magbayad for marginally better alcohol. malapit din sa booth ng DJ yung bar so win-win for b.

 

“i gotta play na,” gabs said. “see you later?” sobrang hopeful ng tono niya. baek kind of pitied gabby kasi baka tonight, matalo na siya ni migs. the last time na meron silang ganitong scenario was last year. si migs yung nanalo though it went faster than kyungsoo’s. 

 

three hours lang bumigay na yung babae kay jongin. gabby was pissed about it for two days kasi pala, according to his story kay b, he really wanted the girl and hindi yung kasama niya. but migs, the demonic asshole, made a competition out of it.

 

it was kinda like what was happening now except wala lang formal bet or stakes. this time, paunahan lang talaga. parang winner takes all. or lotto—whoever was more swerte. 

 

anyway, hindi naman ganoon kabait si b so he decided to leave migs and kyungsoo alone. if naunahan ni migs si gabby then that’s not b’s business. actually, kahit sino ang makauna kay kyungsoo, pweds na rin. at least, they could get it out of their systems.

 

b hung around sa may bar. from here, kita niya ang lahat—from a large part of the dance floor hanggang sa washroom and then pati yung entrance. but most importantly, he would see gabby DJ-ing.

 

one hour lang ang set ni gabby since hindi naman talaga siya yung main DJs ng event. b suspected na he was mostly here for the promo kasi he knew a lot of people and he was not a bad DJ naman talaga, to be honest.

 

he sat down sa bar and ordered a rum and coke. ang sad na he had to pay for it but whatever. he was a hoe for rum and coke. 

 

once gabby stepped up sa mixing table, he placed the one side of the headphones over one ear and the other was pushed behind. he started experimenting a little bit, mixing, before shrugged his jacket off and tied it sa waist. may konting pagrun ng daliri sa loose strands of hair and natuyo ang lalamunan ni baekhyun sa pinapanood niya.

 

b took a sip of his rum and coke kasi the sight? grabe. nakakauhaw. gumuhit sa throat niya yung alak the way gumuguhit sa lalamunan niya yung tite ni gabby. his ka fubu spun something sa table, calling the attention of everyone.

 

almost lahat sa loob ng place nagrush sa gitna. naiwan si b sa side and a few others with the bouncers and the security scattered sa loob. he didn’t mind being the stand out OP sa party kasi isa lang naman yung pinunta niya dito.

 

gabby grabbed the mic and wow, pati yung paglift niya nito to his mouth, may kasamang pagflex.

 

“hey,” gabby whispered. kulang na lang maging jelly yung tuhod niya from one word dahil sa sobrang baba ng boses ni gabs. it was so low that baekhyun could feel hell close. wow. ang init na naman. hindi ata maganda ang ventilation dito.

 

nagsigawan ang mga taong lasing and mga taong papunta pa lang sa kalasingan. baekhyun tipped his glass to gabs’ direction before he downed it in one go.

 

“one more,” he asked the bartended. 

 

chanyeol did something that baekhyun did not know of but it hyped the crowd even more. hawak niya yung mic ulit. b knew chanyeol hated screaming but he did have to raise his voice.

 

in a very energetic and lively tone gabby shouted sa mic and over the cacophony of noises, “what’s up, metro tent!!!!!”

 

more screaming. and then—

 

“are you ready!!”

 

bass drop.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

by the time gabby’s set was almost over, the first thing baekhyun saw was two people heading to the bathrooms. the smaller person was clinging to the taller male, like he was trying to climb him or something. b would normally not care—it’s a party, shit would happen—but this time, the semi kalbo head and the striped cardigan was enough give the two people away. 

 

huh, he thought. raising his bottle of alcohol to them in a mock salute. 

 

he gave up the rum and coke half way through, not wanting to deal with a bitch of hangover _and also_ get laid. gabby did not like drunk sex, or more accurately, wasted sex. b listened to the usual EDM remixes from gabby park and he even heard a few people screaming near the DJ’s booth loud, drunken calls of “gabby!” or “gabs!”

 

b picked up his phone and texted gabby where he was, just so they could see each other before they pick up other people _or_ pick each other up. it’s whatever. 

 

siguro mga one song na lang or something when a guy sidled up to him. b held off the eye roll. dude was not being subtle at all. he was kind of short and stocky—napaka borta. mas borta pa siguro kay migs, which was saying something. 

 

“hey, i’m—” pakilala ni guy. baekhyun’s selective hearing tuned his name out. 

 

ayan na nga po. he was an okay looking guy naman. in fact, he would be considered pogi. kaya lang kasi, baekhyun spent the better part of an hour watching gabby in his tank top DJ-ing tapos his biceps was flexing pa. this guy looked thin compared sa ka-fubu niya

 

“hi,” baekhyun said pa rin with a fake smile. give him the mr. congeniality award. “B.”

 

“b?” guy said. baekhyun could not remember his name kasi he didn’t here it very clearly. “does that stand for something?”

 

baekhyun nodded. “yes. but i’m not telling.”

 

the guy laughed and baekhyun wanted to curse. he probably thought na b was flirting, or making pabebe. tangina nga naman talaga pag lasing—yung imaginations nagiging wild.

 

“well, _B,_ ” the guy drawled his name. ugh. creepy, puta. “want another drink?”

 

tumango si guy kay baekhyun and sa bottle na hawak niya before he leaned and moved closer. hindi lumayo si baekhyun kasi hindi siya ang mag-aadjust. tangina nitong gagong stranger na ‘to.

 

“no,” he said. he lifted yung bote na paubos na and added, “this is kinda full pa.”

 

the guy laughed ulit kahit na, hello! wala namang funny sa sinabi or ginawa ni baekhyun. please, he mentally prayed, get a hint. 

 

“can i get your number then?”

 

oh my god. ang tanga tanga naman ng lalaki na ‘to. that, or sobrang lasing lang niya na he could not see the glaring I AM NOT INTERESTED flashing in bright neon lights sa noo ni baekhyun. maliit ba yung forehead niya kaya na-cut off yung NOT, hindi naman ah.

 

“di ko memorize phone number ko eh,” baekhyun smiled tightly. sobrang halata na lie. for good measure, dinagdagan pa niya ng sing song na, “sorry,” that did not sound sorry at all.

 

before maka-reply si guy or before makasapak si baekhyun ng mukha, someone pressed himself sa tabi niya taposarm na biglang pumulupot around his waist.

 

“b, i’m back.” 

 

gabby park to the rescue kahit na baekhyun was no damsel. he dropped a kiss sa cheek ni baekhyun and turned to the guy. b sneaked a glance, nakasmile lang si gabs. very amicable ng ngiti ni daddy.

 

“hey, dude.” in-extend niya yung other hand niya to offer the guy a hand shake. “i’m gabby park.”

 

tangina talaga. b wanted to laugh sa sour expression ni guy. of all the people naman kasi sa metro tent, bakit lalapit pa siya kay baekhyun? ayan tuloy. 

 

the guy intro-ed himself and shook gabby’s hand pero wala pang one minute, umalis na rin siya.

 

“i could have handled that,” sabi ni b.

 

gabby was not wrapped around him anymore pero magkaharap pa rin sila.

 

“i knew that,” gabby answered. of course alam ni gabby. baekhyun was a first dan in taekwondo. he could take the guy _and_ gabby at the same time without even breaking a single sweat.

 

“you know what i think is funny,” b said out of the blue. “assholes would respect the bro code and would back off once they found out you’re taken but not when the person they were asking was rejecting them.”

 

“men,” gabby scoffed. b knew gabs was kind of like that though, at least before. he was marginally better now. gabby had that going for him, he was growing up.

 

“anyway,” gabby changed the topic. “did you see migs and kyungsoo?”

 

baekhyun scowled. sasabihin pa niya? or? he shrugged, “saw them together kanina while you were finishing your set up.”

 

“and?” gabby asked.

 

“and what?”

 

“what were they doing?” gabby asked, half interested and half exasperated.

 

“i didn’t stalk them if that’s what you’re asking but i’d say you better step your game up or just let migs have kyungsoo,” b deadpanned.

 

gabby made an annoyed sound before he took b’s fresh bottle of alcohol and downed the remaining half in one go. sad but the beer was not even b’s favorite so it’s all good. 

 

“are you gonna find them?” b wondered. if gabby was ditching him, sabihin na niya ng maaga so b could find another guy to go home with.

 

“why?” gabby looked interested, at least. “are you offering something?”

 

bull’s eye. bingo. goal.

 

“all i’m saying’s that you don’t even know if kyungsoo’s putting out.” b smirked. he hooked one index finger sa belt hoop ng jeans ni gabby and placed one hand, palm flat, sa curve ng bicep nito. ang laki. ang tigas. parang si gabby lang talaga all over. 

 

“and?” tanong ni gabs even if his eyes were already twinkling. 

 

“and i’m a sure thing, baby,” baekhyun answered before he pulled gabby in for a hot kiss.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

so ayun. they ended up sa parking lot. on normal nights, b would be g sa men’s room pero one thought of kyungsoo and migs being in there, doing god knows what, had him suggesting na maybe sa car na lang? b would admit na he sort of played gabby into agreeing but it’s not his fault he got played naman.

 

the only good thing was that it was not those strict parking spaces na may umiikot na security guard or some shit. gabby pushed him against the door of the car and b blinked kasi gabby was trying to undo his pants already. 

 

“tangina, gabby—wait,” b held up a hand and pushed. “when i said sa car, i meant inside. not sa mismong parking.”

 

natawa si gabby and with a press of a button, he unlocked the doors. b climbed sa napakataas na sasakyan ni chanyeol and the taller male followed sa backseat. alam na nila ang drill—no aircon, open both windows sa backseat by an two inches or so.

 

since it was around midnight na—b would not know kasi the last time he checked the time was to text sehun to use protection, the car inside was cool. it wasn’t hot or suffocating so baekhyun could focus on suffocating sa other things.

 

tinulak niya sa gabby sa one end ng backseat and baekhyun sat beside him, naka-angle siya to the side. gabby’s body was facing him din. it would be uncomfortable except sanay na sila sa quickies sa loob ng kotse.

 

para na rin siyang bedroom. lahat ng kilala ni baekhyun na may car, nakapagsex na doon. nagawa na nga niya with chanyeol sa parking lot sa campus, what more pa kaya dito sa random parking sa pasig.

 

it was gabby who made the first move and he hauled b up to kiss him. lasang alak sila pareho but it was not like they were drinking different alcohol. the beer tasted better from chanyeol’s lips and b slipped his tongue inside his friend’s hot mouth.

 

he made a slow work of it, licking every corner and trying to taste gabby. b was chasing the taste of johnny walker sa bibig ng partner niya. hands were already palming his ass kasi gabby was one of the most predictable guy ever.

 

gabby moaned into their kiss when baekhyun bit his lower lip. b was a biter but he was tipsy enough na admit na he would be anything gabby wanted him to be sa bedroom. 

 

“b, fuck,” sabi ni gabby. his hand was undoing his own button sa jeans. “blow me.”

 

with pleasure, b thought. hindi niya yun sinabi kasi he’s a man of action. mabilis niyang binaba yung zipper ni gabby and the taller male lifted his waist, para b could pull his jeans and his boxer briefs down ng sabay. it caught above gabby’s knees but baekhyun was too horny to do it properly.

 

he lifted gabby’s tank top and licked his lips at the sight of gabby’s thick torso. his abs were not as prominent or as cut, merong kaunting cushion, pero it was what made him hotted in b’s eyes. yung thickness. he ran his hand down kasi alam niyang weakness ni gabby yun. the taller male jerked and his dick was already at half mast.

 

b palmed the other man’s cock, watching as it went even harder. siya rin, tigas na tigas na but he wanted to suck gabby first.

 

“condoms?” ask ni b. 

 

gabby nodded and he pulled his wallet out, dropping three foil packets sa lap ni b. b looked at it and—

 

“cheery flavor?” he asked.

 

gabs smiled. “you’re an inspiration.” 

 

he fingered the slit of his dick and spread the precum beading sa head. he pumped it shallowly, enough to get himself even harder. baekhyun knew na hindi pa ito ang hardest ng titi ni chanyeol gabriel but that’s what he was here for ‘di ba?

 

“how do you want me?” baekhyun said. hawak na niya yung isang condom, ready to roll na. gabby paused before inusog niya yung passenger’s seat in front of him to its limit. he spread his legs and b judged the small space—

 

who was he kidding? kasya siya doon na nakaluhod, a little tight, pero based on experience, it was not that bad of a fit.

 

he kneeled sa harap ni chanyeol. naipit yung lower half ng legs niya pero fuck it. baekhyun was no weakass bitch. he placed the condom on chanyeol’s half-hard dick and he enveloped the head. it was the first time he was trying to do this and he used his mouth to roll the rubber down.

 

it only went down slightly and he gave it a betrayed look. natawa si gabby above him.

 

“come on,” he said. “hindi ‘to porn.”

 

b looked up and saw how relaxed gabby was na nakasprawl sa backseat niya. the taller male fixed the condom on properly before his fingers knotted sa buhok ni b. he nudged it down and baekhyun got the hint.

 

he went down slowly kasi kahit na malaki ang bibig ni baekhyun and he had the skills and the practice, malaki si chanyeol. it tasted of rubber at first pero the cherry flavor started seeping into baekhyun’s taste buds.

 

masarap ah, in fairness. hindi siya lasang gamot. mabango rin. 

 

he gave a sharp suck, making sure na his teeth was not scarping anything. one of his hands pumped sa base ng tite ni gabs and he gripped the hard length loosely. ramdam niya yung pagtigas nito sa loob ng bibig niya and baekhyun bobbed his head up and down.

 

isa pang sharp suck and gabby jerked upwards again. nagthrust siya into baekhyun’s throat and baekhyun almost choked. he came up with a cough and gabs swore.

 

“puta, b. sorry,” he said pero he did not sound sorry talaga. b coughed a little bit but leaned down once again.

 

this time, mas prepared na ang lalamunan niya. sinubo niya ng buo ang tite ni gabby and sobrang they were trying to keep it quiet. b was sure he na yung moans and groans ni chanyeol was loud against the slurping sounds of his sucking.

 

his own dick was also achingly hard, puta. pero persevere lang siya. chanyeol’s fat cock head hit the back of his throat and the other man gave a sharp _putangina_.

 

one of gabby’s hands gripped baekhyun’s hair and the other one was pressed flat sa ulo niya. 

 

“b—please—” gabby panted, out of breath and tight. “can i fuck your throat?”

 

baekhyun did not answer but he nodded and hummed again. gabby cursed sharply and baekhyun steeled himself kasi alam niya na ang mangyayari. chanyeol’s fingers tightened sa buhok niya to the point of slight pain. it turned baekhyun on even more. his dick was pressing against the waist band of his jeans.

 

“fuck. gago,” gabby sighed. he pushed baekhyun’s head down, as the smaller male relaxed his throat. the head slipped just a little as baekhyun tried to breathe through his nose.

 

gabby shoved his head up and then, without warning, down. b just took it, yung skin of the tip of his nose was brushing against gabby’s pubes. 

 

“puta, b. shit,” gabby said. “you look so good taking it.”

 

gabby fucked his throat again and the lack of space made baekhyun struggle to regain control. he was just kneeling there, letting chanyeol move his head up and down his dick. he felt hot tears sa mata niya with everything. he was so turned on kasi feeling niya hindi na siya makahinga. chanyeol’s big dick was choking him— _tangina_.

 

baekhyun hummed lang and gabs added, “yeah? like that? _fuck, b_. you’re such a slut for me, no?”

 

b nodded lang, or as much as he could nod while chanyeol was hell bent on trying to shove his dick into his throat. he reached one of his hands sa small space and managed to reach chanyeol’s balls. he fondled them with his fingers and then slipped his index finger upward. yung nail niya nag-scrape over.

 

“ _shit,_ ” gabby let out another sharp curse that broke off in a moan. he started moving his hips na rin, timing it with b’s mouth. it was all gabby na gumagalaw, baekhyun felt limp. he liked it.

 

alam niyang malapit ng matapos si gabby kasi the fingers sa buhok niya tightened and pulled. baekhyun made a noise of pain low in his throat and the vibrations from that were probably the last straw because gabby went rigid and then came.

 

ramdam ni baekhyun yung softening dick in his mouth so he gave it one last suck that had gabby hissing. b almost bumped his head sa roof ng car but he managed to sit up beside gabby. he was still hard as he hurriedly undid his pants.

 

he heard gabby take a deep breath beside him before the taller male turned to b’s direction. gabs palmed baekhyun’s cock over his tight briefs and baekhyun’s toes curl inside his shoes nung nagbrush yung pad ng finger ni chanyeol sa head ng tite ni b that was peeking out of the band of his underwear.

 

“my turn,” gabby said wickedly before he pulled baekhyun’s pants and briefs down.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

b and gabby were seated sa backseat, wrapped around each other like it was not past midnight in pasig. baekhyun’s legs were thrown over gabs’ thighs and the taller male’s arm was thrown over b. his fingers were tracing up and down the smaller male’s spine, whatever length of it that he could reach.

 

the two of them were clean and tucked inside their pants. ayaw pang umalis ni gabby kasi he had to take breather muna daw. baekhyun knew na his ka-fubu hated driving even with a slight cloud of alcohol. he made sure na he himself, his passengers, and the people around them were safe. 

 

gabby was fiddling with his phone. baekhyun could see that he was fielding texts asking where he was or offers of hook ups. chanyeol straight up did not reply to those asking him to do more unsavory things on the other side of legal. 

 

chanyeol paused sa isang message.

 

**migs** : i’m bringing soo home

 

b whistled. “may nickname na, gabby. paano ba ‘yan?”

 

gabby did not reply kay migs but he did toss his phone to the side. 

 

“tangina,” he said. “i can’t believe migs is going through all this for one fuck.”

 

“kung makapagsalita,” b said dryly. “parang ikaw hindi ah.”

 

“but i’m me,” gabby defended. gets naman ni baekhyun kasi migs was, well, migs. hindi niya ‘to ginagawa. though, to be fair, jongin miguel seemed like he was the type to want a challenge.

 

“alam mo, i really don’t get what you two are doing,” baekhyun said out of nowhere. “kyungsoo’s so sweet. naaawa ako sa kanya.”

 

“it’s a quick fuck, b,” gabby answered. rinig na rinig ni baekhyun yung pagroll ng mata ni chanyeol gabriel. “it’s not like migs and i are trying to make him fall for us or some shit.”

 

gustong magsigh ni baekhyun. ang tanga talaga ni gabby. of course, migs and he were not trying pero their actions could send mixed signals. hindi nga nila intention pero it’s not like kyungsoo could tell his heart to turn itself off para hindi ito masaktan.

 

b was a living proof of that.

 

“gabby,” he sighed. he cuddled closer. maybe he was trying to help kyungsoo para hindi matulad sa kanya. “i don’t know what all this work is for—hatid sundo? the frankie’s padeliver? migs’ take out? and whatever else na ginagawa niyo? you have at least ten people saved on your contacts na willing to suck your dick… and that’s not including the unsaved numbers.” 

 

b shook his head. gabby was looking ahead lang, his finger still trailing up and down sa spine ni baekhyun.

 

with a snort, he added, “why are you even bothering to make the effort?”

 

natawa si gabby. “ganyan ba talaga tingin mo sa ‘kin?”

 

there was no hint of offense sa tone ni gabs and baekhyun could even detect the amusement from the other male’s tone.

 

“please,” b replied with a joking tone pero mga half lang. the other half, he kind of meant seriously. “ganyan ang tingin ng lahat sa ‘yo and kay migs na rin. you never put on any effort. you’d ask for a nude pic and set up a date and time.”

 

“hey!” depensa ni gabby. “that’s more migs than me.”

 

baekhyun nodded kasi true, that was more migs. he pointed out, “you know what i mean.”

 

nagstill ang fingers ni chanyeol sa paggalaw sa likod ni baekhyun. 

 

“kung makapagsalita ka, ah,” gabby teasingly accused him. “remember that summer, before sophomore year?”

 

baekhyun froze. of course. he remembered that summer, a few years ago. how could he not?

 

“i can make an effort,” sabi ni gabs with pride. “i wined and dined you, ‘di ba? like, literally wine and dine. my credit card is still recovering.”

 

tumatawa si gabby sa memory, rinig ni baekhyun ang amusement and nostalgia sa voice ng kasama niya. si baekhyun, hindi magawang matawa. he settled for a smile.

 

“i was not _that_ high maintenance,” b said. 

 

thankfully, hindi nagshake ang boses niya. one thing na pinakaayaw niya was when gabby went all _remember when_ sa kanya kasi mabr-bring up na naman ang _summer, before sophomore year_.

 

“i thought you were worth it,” gabby said. kiniliti niya yung side ni baekhyun that had the smaller male giggling helplessly. 

 

“kaya lang you said no need na. i remember you saying—” gabby paused and pitched his voice a tad bit higher, kind of whiny and pa-cute. “— _chanyeol_ _gabriel n. park, please, i’m only looking for a friend or a fuck—pweds rin both_.”

 

baekhyun snorted.

 

“i did not say it like that,” baekhyun said. “historical revisionist ka.”

 

natawa si gabby before he pulled baekhyun closer. he felt the taller male breathe in deep against his side and all baekhyun could do was sink deeper in chanyeol’s embrace.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_and that? that is the short version ng pinaka tragic na mistake na ginawa ni b as a member of the LGBT+ community._

 

_that summer, before sophomore year, baekhyun b. byun said no when gabby park asked if he wanted to be his boyfriend._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!!! KAMUSTA KAYO MGA KA-GABBY NATION


	7. vodka with sprite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "baka magsisi ka."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> characters will be drunk in this chapter. please proceed with **CAUTION**. 
> 
> this is unbeta-ed too.

bv si migs and the night had yet to start. pormang porma na siya, making sure to finish several quick sets of his upper body and arm work out before hitting the shower. paglabas niya, alam na niya ang isusuot. what most people would call a grandfather cardigan, they would call illegal on jongin miguel kim.

 

paano ba naman hindi siya gugustuhin na i-demanda, eh kita ang dibdib at ang abs niya sa outfit niya. he was still lounging around though kasi maaga pa. no one would go to a party at the same time the door would open—unless, well, you’re that type of person.

 

he was in his room, waiting for the time to pass and he he wondered if maybe he should pick kyungsoo up from his house and if the other man would agree to the offer. he seemed like the type of person na walang pake with stuff like that and migs thought na baka wala pang experience si kyungsoo. that made him more appealing, in migs’ honest assessment. 

 

sobrang effort, out of the way and out of character, but migs liked sex, cute and plump people, having sex with cute and plump people, and pissing gabby off. 

 

banging kyungsoo would achieve all of the above and it’s not like he had anything to spend his time on. okay, school, but school was pretty fucking boring and easy. so jongin had to find something _fun and easy,_ for a change. the only problem was kyungsoo was so oblivious that he just could not get a hint.

 

but that was the fun part. jongin had never met anyone who would not fall into bed with him in a snap. mostly because he always just moved to another warm body. walang shortage ng malilibog sa metro manila, yes, final answer na po.

 

so when gabby asked the him and kyungsoo both if they wanted to go this party that he was gonna DJ for, migs said okay. one, potential hook ups. two, potential hook ups who could end up being kyungsoo. migs could literally not see any downside to the party.

 

and with a confident heart and a horny dick, he gave kyungsoo, aptly named _soo_ [fire emoji] sa contacts niya, a text.

 

**migs** : hey soo

**migs** : want me to pick u up later for the party

 

he waited na makapag-reply si kyungsoo and it took siguro mga five minutes din. ang tagal, migs thought, but kyungsoo would have his phone lagi on do not disturb. 

 

**soo** : no need

**soo** : gabby’s picking up na :>

 

“shit,” migs cursed. he thought na nakakauna na siya kay kyungsoo. he remembered the thing with the rain before and how migs snuck a glance at kyungsoo taking his clothes off. he averted his eyes after less than a second because kyungsoo did not seem very comfortable with migs’ presence at all. he remembered how soft kyungsoo’s stomach was when he pinched it, how funny it was at first, and how cute he yelped.

 

migs remembered all of that—and how horny he was afterwards. kasi the sight of kyungsoo wearing his zip up hoodie? three fire emojis, dude. 

 

he shot gabby rin a text for good measure.

 

**migs** : gago fine

**migs** : but i’m bringin my own car

**migs** : just in case u don’t hook up w soo

 

**gabs** : yea

**gabs** : keep tellin urself that

**gabs** : see u later gago

 

migs rolled his eyes. hindi niya alam bakit siya naiinis na gabby was also putting his typical gabby park moves on kyungsoo. the goal was to piss gabby off pero parang siya rin, naiinis na. he was not the type to go all alpha male possessive on his fubus or one night stands—kaya nga they were called fubus and one night stands, ‘di ba? kasi walang attachment. 

 

it’s not like he was attached to kyungsoo—he’d known the man for half a semester pa lang. maybe it was because he was thinking of kyungsoo as a friend na rin so he’s out of the one night stand territory. he was safe into potential fuck buddy category—the type of partner na you would still see and spend in civil company. maybe not as weird as gabby’s and his favorite, baekhyun byun, but migs did not even want to unravel his best friend’s own messy affair.

 

instead, he just texted kyungsoo again because texting kyungsoo made him feel calmer, less ready to glare things into submission. may ganoong vibes si kyungsoo, parang nakakahiyang magalit in his presence. he was so—gentle? sometimes, sa mga post jakol session niya, even jongin miguel kim would feel guilty.

 

pero of course, nag hold off siya ng konti. parang hindi very on brand kapag nagtext siya kaagad. he needed to pass a little more time. he dressed himself up na rin and started styling his hair. he thought na okay siguro mag-ipit but as he was eyeing himself sa mirror, parang no na lang. he grabbed a comb and pushed everything back and then a generous amount of styling mousse. the faded sides still looked neat so migs just let his forehead breathe. 

 

he opened the camera app and sized himself sa salamin. the V of the cardigan dipped to show his built chest pero parang may kulang. he undid one button and looked himself over again. he did not look like he tried extra hard which was always a plus. he snapped a pic, making sure na kita ang dibdib ang tops ng abs niya. 

 

he eyed the photo and it gave him an idea on what to text kyungsoo.

 

**migs** : hey send me a pic of ur outfit [LOL emoji, LOL emoji, LOL emoji]

 

hindi alam ni jongin ano ang nagprompt sa kanya to ask that. maybe he was hoping kyungsoo would finally get a hint. every time someone asked you a photo of your outfit, it usually meant na the other person wanted you to show yourself off.

 

a minute siguro before kyungsoo replied with an image attachment. click agad si migs and the photo loaded instantly—

 

**soo** : [image attachment]

**soo** : i got this shirt kahapon lang [green tongue out with dollar sign emoji]

 

migs resisted the urge to groan and face palm. he was only half-successful kasi he still could not help but stop the groan from escaping his lips. hindi niya alam kung sobrang oblivious ba talaga ni kyungsoo or baka he was teasing migs already. the latter would have made sense if it was any other person but jongin miguel pegged kyungsoo to be the type not to notice flirting until it fucked him in the ass—literally, most likely.

 

yung picture that kyungsoo sent was taken in front of a full body mirror. he was in a black shirt with some words—sentences?—on it. it was tucked into black jeans and this pair, at least was tight. if anything, despite the lackluster photograph, nadala naman ng body line ni kyungsoo.

 

medyo napakagat ng labi si migs kasi ang curvy talaga. small waist that flared out into wide hips and thick thighs. kyungsoo’s knees were knocked together and the dip made him even cuter. or whatever. it’s weird. migs did not want to think too much about it. 

 

migs, out of instinct sent a bunch of LOL emojis and fire emojis kahit na there was nothing fire about kyungsoo’s low quality pic.

 

**soo** : ty [hug emoji]

**soo** : lemme see yours

 

jongin did not even dare to think that kyngsoo could mean anything with that. seriously. he still sent the selfie he did take before to kyungsoo. the one he took that was mostly his chest and his face. it was not your hashtag O-O-T-D pic but it was, well, the photo that migs would have sent to another potential lay.

 

speaking of, he finally got around to checking his snap and a few of his friends—a loose term—sent or posted outfit or getting ready pics. kyungsoo, take notes, he thought as he mass sent his own selfie back. he made sure to message yung mga senders ng photos of people that made him lift his right eyebrow. 

 

hindi naman marami. one was a guy dressed in a patterned button down, one girl—small and curvy because if migs was one thing, it was predictable—na naka black body con dress that showed off every dip of her body, and another girl na sobrang baba ng cut ng damit that migs could almost image where the stitches from when her plastic surgeon inserted her silicon implants had gone through. 

 

mabagal before nagreply si kyungsoo and migs could only sigh at the message.

 

**soo** : you look nice [smiling emoji]

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_if only alam ni migs ang nangyari in between text ‘lemme see yours’ and text ‘you look nice’and the sheer facade hiding beneath an unsuspecting smiling emoji_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“putangina. nasan parking?” migs complained as he navigated through rows of cars. 

 

naubusan na ata siya, he thought. umikot ikot muna siya, tangina, and isang malakas na mura ang pinakawalan niya nung nakita niya yung free space except whoever parked sa katabi nito probably did not pass their driving test.

 

nandito na, apparently, si gabby and kyungsoo and jongin was trying to rush para makahabol. gabs worked fast and he was not about to waste an opportunity to flirt with kyungsoo—especially in a space that promoted flirting, and then some more.

 

finally, after going around in circles and cursing everyone and their ancestors, nakahanap na rin siya ng parking space. medyo malayo, but whatever na. he didn’t mind walking and wala rin siyang plano to drink so much that he would not be able to drive. he could not remember if pwede ang overnight parking dito but the fact na there was not even a single security guard in sight, it was already too sketchy to leave a car until morning.

 

he killed the ignition and snuck a glance sa mirror to fix his hair. the loose strands were already hopeless but it looked artsy and effortless naman. migs grabbed his phone that he tossed into the cupholder and settled for just bringing a thin card wallet from chanel, stolen from his second eldest sister. he checked na nandoon yung dalawang credit cards niya and his debit card before slipping one one thousand peso bill and yung tatlong one hundred peso bill na nakafold sa other cup holder. 

 

migs rooted around sa glove compartment for the condoms he had always kept there and made a small triumphant noise when he found out three more foil packets. thank god. he slipped them inside. he pulled his keys and took his phone na rin.

 

paglabas niya and once malock ang car, keys sa belt hoop niya, and his card wallet and the condoms sa back pocket. he pulled up his imessage and texted kyungsoo.

 

**migs** : where u

 

mabilis ang reply, as expected. during parties, no one really ever let go of their phones.

 

**soo** : on our way to metro tent

**soo** : u?

 

**migs** : me also

**migs** : i parked kinda far

 

**soo** : ok gabby and i will wait for u near da entrance

 

migs did not rush, okay? he just had long strides. he made his way through a couple of people walking to the same place who came from various pre-games, dinners, parking lots, and kung ano ano pa. org parties were always a hub of different people, parang micro representation of the university na rin. clubs kasi, from migs’ experience, differed in a way na people find a place they like and where they could ‘fit in’ before sticking to that. it was very niched too, definitely even classist and discriminatory. 

 

jongin reached the entrance in no time. there were already throngs of people hanging around outside pero he was interested only in seeing one shaved head. he tried spotting them and—

 

thank fucking god for chanyeol gabriel being 6’1”. migs easily found him sa may side. they seemed to be talking to another person. kyungsoo was standing beside gabby and parang he was introducing himself as well.

 

migs walked over to them and avoided the usual greetings. someone accosted him and he made beso before practically running over to the direction of his friends.

 

syempre, tumabi siya kay kyungsoo. kyungsoo looked up to him with a smile—heart-shaped, migs noted like always—as if saying _i’m glad na you’re already here_. or well, migs hoped that was what the smile meant.

 

he pressed himself close and made sure that the outsides of their arms were brushing, sort of kasi hindi naman aligned ang shoulders niya with kyungsoo. 

 

“let’s go?” migs said sabay nod sa may entrance. inunahan na niya s gabby as he wrapped his arm around kyungsoo’s waist to steer him to the direction of the door and para na rin iiwas siya sa mga taong nagpapalitan ng hugs or bro fists. 

 

migs could feel the softness of kyungsoo’s body underneath his finger tips and he itched to pull the other male closer, to grasp him tighter, to show him off sa lahat. kyungsoo really was his type, gabby was not lying when he said that. he bet he would be a good fuck too.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

ilang minuto pa lang ang nakakalipas after chanyeol went up to the DJ’s booth and sumunod ang fubu niyang si baekhyun. ilang minuto ito na solo na ni migs si kyungsoo, finally. the two of them were huddled sa isang corner nursing identical bottles of beer. 

 

people were already jumping around the dance floor since gabby was playing an EDM hype song. alam ni migs na mamaya, it would turn into something slower, deeper, more sensual kasi it was getting late na rin. people were drunk, inhibitions were low. jongin was trying to keep the alcohol into the bare minimum kasi he was going to drive pa pauwi. buti na lang wala ang parents niya today and the only people sa house were their helpers. 

 

kyungsoo finished his bottle of beer with a flourish and migs smiled at him. yung charming smile niya that was one step away from being patented.

 

“want another?” he asked kyungsoo.

 

the shorter male looked contemplative for a moment before he nodded. 

 

“pwedeng ibang drinks?” he asked. ginala ni migs yung mata niya around the place. there were several makeshift bars scattered. of course, out of the question na yung closest to them where b was sitting and where gabby would perfectly see the both of them.

 

“sige, let’s go,” migs said. dinala niya yung bottle niya ng beer na hindi pa rin niya ubos until now. migs could have taken grab siguro if gusto niya maglasing pero he really was hesitation na iwanan yung car niya overnight at some sleazy parking space in pasig. pwede rin naman siyang magpasunod sa isa sa mga drivers nila pero he did not want to wake anyone up and bother them to make the drive.

 

the two of them were walking, nauuna na si kyungsoo, but the shorter male kept on disappearing from jongin’s line of sight.

 

“wait up, soo,” sabi niya. 

 

he went and gripped the back of kyungsoo’s shirt and noticed the zipper. it ran horizontal at the top of the other man’s back, below several knobs of his spine. it was shut closed and migs wondered kung it was built in and hindi nabubuksan or if he pulled it to the side, a sliver of skin would peek out.

 

lumingon si kyungsoo and raised both his eyebrows, probably hindi siya narinig. the strobe lights threw colors sa mukha ng kasama niya and flickered sa irises ni kyungsoo. the other man had really pretty brown eyes, light in color, clear and big.

 

migs pressed himself sa likod ni kyungsoo. yung chest niya nakadikit sa likod ng mas maliit na lalaki. yung top ng ulo ni kyungsoo reached jongin’s chin. his fat ass was against migs’ front din.

 

“m-migs? wh—” 

 

before pa matapos ni kyungsoo kung ano man ang sasabihin niya, migs snaked one of his arms around kyungsoo’s small waist. his fingers gripped the front of kyungsoo’s shirt, over his soft stomach. ang lapit lapit nila, very unnecessary.

 

“migs?” kyungsoo asked again. concerned. 

 

yung hawak ni migs sa bote niya ng beer sa free hand niya, lalong naging mas tight. parang yung bote na lang ng alak yung pumipigil sa kanya to do something na hindi pa naman dapat niyang gawin.

 

he leaned in na lang so his lips were brushing the back of kyungsoo’s ear. he felt kyungsoo stiffen against him as migs gripped the cotton in his one hand and twisted.

 

“para hindi tayo magkalayo,” he said lowly. he nudged kyungsoo a little bit and pushed himself a little backwards so kyungsoo could walk properly and he would not trip. migs still had one arm snaked around and towards kyungsoo’s front, holding on to a patch of his t shirt. 

 

merong bar behind where most people were crowded around dancing and migs and kyungsoo found themselves seated waiting na ma-free up yung mga stools that the org prepared inside. the last time migs was in metro tent was last year, and he only dropped by for a less than an hour for a hook up. after no’n wala na. ito na yung next.

 

at least, one of the girls stood up from the stool. she tottered around in her sky high stilettos. migs was quick to push kyungsoo sa occupied seat.

 

“tayo ka lang?” tanong nito.

 

“yeah.” migs nodded. in fact, he liked the view better from up here. the stool was not that high or kyungsoo was really that short kasi migs was still a little taller than the other man. kyungsoo was sitting all prim and proper, thighs together and his hands on top.

 

sumandal si migs sa counter sa tabi ni kyungsoo as kyungsoo angled his body para madali.

 

“what do you want?” tanong ni migs. “my treat.”

 

nagsmile si kyungsoo. “lagi na lang ikaw nanlilibre.”

 

migs shrugged and lifted one shoulder. “it’s fine,” he said. he did not know how to tell kyungsoo na he was treating him to get extra points, to make papansin. “it’s on me now—pwede ka naman bumawi next time.”

 

“next time?” kyungsoo scrunched his face.

 

“why?” migs asked. “not much for drinking?”

 

kyungsoo shook his head. “not up for loud parties,” he corrected. “i’m a uni student—i think personality description na natin yung _to be always up for alak_.” 

 

tumawa si migs kasi genuinely funny talaga si kyungsoo for him. all his sexbomb references, his jokes, his puns—lahat yun benta kay migs. seryoso. kahit siguro he was not trying to get inside kyungsoo’s pants, he would find the other male amusing and entertaining.

 

“ayt—fine. are you a rum with coke person? a johnny walker person? a bacardi?” migs leaned closer, halos siksikin na niya si kyungsoo, kasi kyungsoo’s posture naman was open as well. he was not sure if the other man was doing in subconsciously or if this was the night that migs would finally get laid.

 

“wrong, wrong, and wrong,” kyungsoo tutted. he called the bartender over and said, “vodka with sprite, please.”

 

jongin whistled as he mournfully looked at his bottle of beer. with a sad sigh, he pressed the mouth against his and took a short sip. he was planning two bottles at most because that way, he could still drive home. three bottles siguro and lots of water would be pwede but he would rather not risk it. 

 

dumating na yung vodka with sprite mix ni kyungsoo and he immediately took a long gulp. he made a satisfied sound before he shivered.

 

“ack.” a small noise of discomfort escaped the smaller male. “gumihit siya.”

 

he leaned back and migs watched the stretch of kyungsoo’s pale neck become exposed from the action. he traced his throat with a delicate finger, mimicking the line the alcohol cut right down his throat.

 

“not very good vodka then,” migs commented. good vodka should be smooth and add to the fact that it was mixed with sprite, a carbonated drink, probably did not help it one bit. sprite would hide the awful taste though, he figured.

 

“you want?” kyungsoo tilted his cup sa direction ni jongin. “you’ve been drinking that beer since kanina pa.”

 

migs shook his head and declined. 

 

“can’t drink too much.” he cocked his head to kyungsoo’s direction and looked down at the smaller male sitting beside him. “and you need someone to drive you back.”

 

“i can get a grab,” kyungsoo said simply before he took another drink from his cup. 

 

he chugged it down in one go, bottoms up in a few seconds, like it was nothing. migs would be amazed. for someone so small, kyungsoo seemed like he was a pro at drinking.

 

“one more?” migs asked. 

 

“yup.” kyungsoo made the p pop and migs watched the way his thick lips purse around the letter. he smirked and walked in front of kyungsoo.

 

no way that kyungsoo was not at least tipsy, or with inhibitions lower than usual, after mixing vodka and beer and not even drinking any water. migs stood in front of kyungsoo’s clasped thighs and placed one hand on his knee.

 

he called the bartender and asked for another vodka with sprite. the guy mixed it quickly and placed it on the counter. jongin reached over, pushing himself against kyungsoo, to reach the cup.

 

“here,” he said. migs handed the cup to kyungsoo who was sitting there, patiently waiting. kyungsoo said a short thanks and started sipping his drink. they stayed in that position for a bit as migs finished his first beer. he asked the bartended for another and he did the same as before, pushing himself against kyungsoo’s front to reach the drink.

 

kyungsoo bobbed his head to the music slightly as migs heard the loud screams of people behind them. he stole a look behind him and sure enough, predictably, someone was already doing a keg stand. the poor dude was red in the face after he was done.

 

when he turned his gaze back to kyungsoo again, the man was looking up at him with unreadable eyes.

 

“are you sure you don’t want to drink?” kyungsoo asked suddenly. he was eyeing the beer bottle that was on jongin’s hand that was seemingly for show now.

 

“i told you, i need to drive you back home,” migs said.

 

kyungsoo scoffed. “i don’t even have to be home,” he mumbled. migs heard it clearly and was surprised. was kyungsoo planning on getting laid tonight too or were his parents just that relaxed on him?

 

migs asked the latter and kyungsoo nodded.

 

“ _please—_ they’re happy i’m out of the house.”

 

ah, migs thought. so his parents were those kinds of people and kyungsoo was _that_ kind of son.

 

“besides,” kyungsoo added. “you don’t _need_ to bring me home. i can get myself an uber, migs.”

 

migs shook his head and smiled. he moved closer to kyungsoo’s face para marining yung whisper niya.

 

“maybe i _want_ to take you home.” isang mababa, isang mahaba, at isang malaswang drawl ang binitiwan ni jongin miguel. ramdam niya na nagjerk yung tuhod ni kyungsoo kung saan nakapatong yung kamay niya. for good measure, he added, “maybe i don’t want to drink so i can remember.”

 

nanginig si kyungsoo. ramdam ulit yun ni migs dahil sa sobrang lapit nila. he could not help but chuckle under his breath and kyungsoo broke off in a whine.

 

lumayo si migs para makita niyang mabuti yung mukha ni kyungsoo na nagbl-blush. his chubby cheeks were the color red—halata kahit na ang shitty ng lighting. 

 

“gago ka,” sabi nito sa kanya. lalong natawa si jongin sa petulant expression ni kyungsoo, thinking _cute_. para na siguro siyang sirang plaka kakaisip ng word na yun every time na lang na the other male was concerned.

 

half-way through kyungsoo’s second vodka with sprite drink, the smaller male’s eyelids started growing heavy. his position grew more lax at bago pa man malaman ni migs ang mga nangyayari, he was in between kyungsoo’s thighs already.

 

“migs,” he said slowly. “can i get another drink?”

 

migs eyed the man in front of him. he did not seem that drunk, maybe a little out of it. he debated getting kyungsoo another but the other man just pouted and migs relented.

 

kyungsoo took careful sips of his drink and migs’ hand was pressed on one thick thigh. his thumb was drawing circles doon sa loob ng matabang hita ni kyungsoo. yung fingernail ni migs, he made sure na it scraped the inseam of the smaller male’s jeans. 

 

the music started changing and kyungsoo was listing a little bit to side already. migs squeezed his thigh and kyungsoo shot up, wide eyes and mouth parted open. the sound he made sent something hot sa guts ni migs. 

 

kyungsoo made this tiny sound na para bang he suddenly inhaled. it was like a whimper and a gasp. migs could not think straight, wondering if that was just a figment of his imagination.

 

so of course, pinisil niya ulit yung hita ni kyungsoo and—

 

it was not a figment of his imagination.

 

kyungsoo was looking up kay migs with a different expression now and he shot back the remaining alcohol sa baso niya. both his legs close around migs’ body, jeans pressing against migs’ own clothes.

 

nilapag ni migs yung bote niya ng beer but before he could say anything, merong drunk guy na nag stagger to their area of the bar. puta. kyungsoo stole a look and he appeared visibly uncomfortable.

 

nilagay ni migs yung kamay niya sa bar, extending his arm sa side ni kyungsoo. the length of it was a sort of a barrier between the drunk stranger and sa kasama niya. the guy was not bothering them naman, he was just slurring and ranting to absolutely no one.

 

“migs,” kyungsoo whispered. mahina lang, very soft and slow. there was also a slight slur sa word niya and his eyes were kind of unfocused. “miggy,” he repeated tapos bigla siyang tumawa.

 

nagtwitch ang right eye ni jongin. 

 

“don’t call me miggy,” sabi niya.

 

nagsnicker si kyungsoo. “no, miggy.”

 

rinig ni jongin yung _hehehe_ laugh ni kyungsoo. dalawa lang ang tawa ng kasama niya—either yung cute and soft na _ehehehe_ or full blown _hohoho_ na ginagawa niya.

 

“stop that,” sabi niya. he was pretending to glare and be annoyed but kyungsoo probably took that as him being serious.

 

“awwww,” he cooed. oh my god, migs thought. drunk people are so fucking weird. sobrang ibang tao nila. “are you annoyed?”

 

may pagpause pa before yung _hehehe_ tapos in a small high-pitched, clearly designed na mang-inis na voice, “miggy?”

 

naggroan si jongin and he just leaned and moved closer sa pagitan ng hita ni kyungsoo. amoy alak na ito pero migs didn’t mind. sanay na naman siya sa smell ng alcohol.

 

“soo, hey,” sabi niya sa may tenga ni kyungsoo. 

 

they were pressed close together talaga. nakaka stress for migs kasi hindi niya alam hanggang saan ang line na pwede niyang i-toe. ito siguro ang pinaka mahirap re: kyungsoo, ang fact na nangangapa si migs. sana bigyan siya ng smaller guy ng sign kasi isa lang—isang sign lang talaga—susunggab na siya.

 

“what?” tanong ni kyungsoo. may hitch na sa paghinga nito.

 

“let’s go dance?”

 

siguro nga may pakinabang talaga si gabs sa buhay ni migs dahil the music right now was very chill, kind of yung music that would prelude to hook ups. it’s that time of the night na kasi, alam na alam yun ni gabby.

 

kyungsoo made a noise of agreement and migs stepped away before pulling kyungsoo outside of the crowd. they did not bother mingling with anyone and migs shrugged a few hands on his shoulders. he faced kyungsoo and put his hand sa waist nito, very proprietary. making sure na no one would make the mistake of dancing with migs’ man.

 

they did some light dancing, nothing too hard. parang warm up. bawal mabigla. and then, kyungsoo turned around, backed his ass up against jongin’s front, and started moving his hips in circles.

 

“ _fuck_ , soo,” sabi ni jongin. isang mahabang fuck na nagtrail off into a sigh at _soo_. his hand wormed his way into the smaller man’s front. yung finger niya naka hook sa belt hoop nito. kyungsoo was grinding his ass sa crotch ni migs and the taller man found himself, well, horny as fuck—horny _to fuck_.

 

migs would probably die if kyungsoo did not put out. he felt one arm ni kyungsoo that went up before his hand laid flat sa batok niya. kyungsoo pushed migs’ head down and ito na nga siguro ang sign na hinihingi niya kay lord. binigay na. to be fair, when migs asked for a sign he meant more of a kyungsoo batting his eyelashes or running his index finger sa jawline ni migs, not full on dance floor grinding.

 

he was not complaining though.

 

ito na ata ang pinaka exciting na nangyari sa second half ng taon ni migs, lamang lang ng one place when england lost the world cup semi-final to croatia.

 

nagswi-swivel pa rin yung hips ni kyungsoo and migs was just g enough to move his hips as well. he made sure to rub himself sa ass ni kyungsoo kasi this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. or, well, a quite possibly once in a lifetime opportunity unless kyungsoo wanted a fuck body and migs would finally get his dick wet many times, and on the regular. 

 

kyungsoo pressed his ass harder and did something with his hips that had migs inadvertently pulling on kyungsoo’s belt hoop where his finger was still hooked and yung other hand niya na nasa waist ni kyungsoo, nagtighten.

 

tangina. goal. gol. tor.

 

“babe,” sabi ni migs. “do you wanna go somewhere?”

 

migs had never prayed harder in his entire life that that moment. sana magyes. fuck. 

 

“yeah,” kyungsoo breathed out.

 

if migs could have pumped his fist and let out a shout of yes, he would have. pero that was not On Brand. migs kim did not make a habit of noisily celebrating his victories.

 

kyungsoo was the first one to move though and he started pulling migs to the direction of the men’s room. puta. migs himself did not like doing it sa banyo of places like this one pero bakit siya magno-no? 

 

sabi nga ng yaya niya, _hindi tinatanggihan ang pagkain_. bon appètit.

 

kyungsoo was huddled deep sa tabi niya and jongin, of course, would not pass up on the opportunity to wrap himself around the shorter male. he was an opportunist, fine. but anyone would be an opportunist kung ganito ang opportunity na presented sa harap nila.

 

si kyungsoo, tuloy lang sa pagmurmur beside migs. migs, meanwhile, tried to make out what the other man was saying pero either his dick was too hard that his ears were not functioning or kyungsoo really was talking about— _edward cullen_?

 

they went into the surprisingly empty bathroom and migs could swear he literally heard god say, “chance mo na.”

 

migs was raised as a good catholic boy by his good catholic parents and his conservative catholic grandmothers so of course, he told god in his mind, “your will be done.”

 

pumasok sila sa isang bathroom stall and jongin slammed the door shut before he slammed kyungsoo sa mismong door. nayanig yung pintuan na made of wood alongside nito, nagshake yung buong foundation ng cubicles. sorry, metro tent, pero mukhang makakasira pa si migs ng property dito.

 

kyungsoo winced and he let out a soft, “ouch, miggy.”

 

nagtwitch yung mata ni jongin and _ugh_ , turn off dapat except kyungsoo looked up at him with tearful eyes and kung gaano kabilis masabi ni kyungsoo yung miggy, ganoon din kabilis din siyang na-turn on. puta ang weird. migs had never been this tigang in his entire life but that was mostly because he never let himself be tigang, ever. 

 

“sorry,” migs said kasi baka umiyak si kyungsoo. nagnod si kyungsoo and migs searched his face. kyungsoo still looked like he was not out of it so he leaned down and pressed a kiss sa leeg ni kyungsoo.

 

migs hands went sa side ng torso ni kyungsoo. his pam traced up and down and then up again before he gripped kyungsoo’s soft chest. he felt the other man’s nipples harden under his fingers. of course, wala yung malaking handful that migs was used to with his female fuck buddies or yung toned chest from the male. may slight swell of fat, slight lang naman, but for some reason— _tangina._ it was turning migs on.

 

kyungsoo was turning migs on.

 

he placed his thumb on each pert bud and rolled it around, putting pressure. napaungol si kyungsoo and his back thumped against the wooden door. migs leaned down ulit to place another kiss sa may base ng throat ni kyungsoo, nipping at the soft skin.

 

kyungsoo did not make a sound but he did tilt his head to the side. migs crowded the smaller male against sa pintuan and he hovered over with both forearms resting sa wood.

 

“you don’t mind doing it here?” migs asked. kung siya ang tatanungin, he did not exactly mind. he had a condom in his pocket and they probably wouldn’t be able to do much pero g pa rin. he never pegged kyungsoo to be the type but you know what they say—it’s always the quiet ones.

 

baka façade lang talaga ni kyungsoo yung oblivious act niya. it would not certainly be that first time. migs had experience with men and women who acted like they were not interested—migs loved it; they were the best lays he had, usually. sila yung tipo na iirapan ni migs, or magna-narrow ng eyes, pero the moment they were in bed, they’d be the first one begging.

 

parang nagshatter lahat ng pangarap ni migs when kyungsoo turned a confused eye and said, “huh?” with all the confusion in the world.

 

what? migs was—what?

 

“uh… sex?” migs said, almost unintelligent. “blowjobs? you look like you’d give good head, soo.” 

 

sobrang nonchalant ng pagkakasabi niya. straight to the point agad. migs hated going in circles the most.

 

“but you’re not my boyfriend,” kyungsoo said with a pout. “i only suck boyfriend dicks.”

 

what the fuck.

 

sobrang—

 

what the fuck.

 

“you don’t have to be my boyfriend to suck my dick,” migs said slowly, like he was trying to make kyungsoo understand.

 

“well, you have to be,” kyungsoo insisted. “for me to suck yours.”

 

amputa. 

 

“are you drunk?” migs asked. kyungsoo being drunk and confused would make sense.

 

“no,” kyungsoo answered but his eyes were glassy now too. ang weird because he was not wearing glasses tonight and migs could see how clear they were, now that he was very close. actually, he could see a lot of things from this distance like kyungsoo’s moles. the other male had a lot of them; migs never noticed until now. 

 

“i’m not drunk,” kyungsoo added and then followed it with his _hehehe_ laugh.

 

ah, migs thought, he was drunk.

 

which meant na nothing would happen tonight because migs was sober and kyungsoo was not. there was a clear power imbalance. he didn’t think kyungsoo was drunk at all from his vodka-sprites and the beers but maybe he was wrong. kyungsoo was probably the type of drunk that looked like he wasn’t, mostly because he was quiet still. a little mumbly but other than that, he looked perfectly normal if not a little pink.

 

migs sighed. sobrang disappointed niya. the last time he was this disappointed, fucking france eliminated argentina out of the world cup.

 

also, of course. guilty na naman.

 

"hey, soo, sorry," migs said softly. "i won't do anything anymore, yeah?"

 

yumakap si kyungsoo sa kanya, arms around migs’ neck and linked sa nape niya. the other man did not answer but he did nod and looked at migs with a dope-y kind of smile. yup, definitely drunk.

 

he was just so—fuck. now migs felt like an asshole for even thinking he could fuck kyungsoo tonight. tangina. since when did he feel guilty over the idea of sex? migs wondered if it was not too late to maybe text one of his friends for a quick romp pero the thought of leaving kyungsoo to fend for himself in a place like this, where people were not as considerate as migs and as sober, made all thoughts disappear.

 

in the end, he detached kyungsoo from himself and said, “let’s go home?”

 

kyungsoo whined and replied a petulant, “no! my parents are not expecting me home. and i don't wanna!”

 

migs sighed again. damn it. 

 

“fine,” migs said with resignation. “i’ll bring you home tomorrow.”

 

he pulled kyungsoo outside the bathroom. his boner had already gone down, thankfully. some people tried to stop them but migs shot them a glare that made them back off ASAP.

 

malayo yung parking pero migs pulled kyungsoo outside to walk with him. ayaw niyang iwan si kyungsoo, drunk and not even aware that someone was offering sex until the moment that it was about to happen, alone. 

 

kyungsoo was stumbling around and migs had to hold the other man steady. he was not blackout drunk but he was also way past the point of tipsy that he was rambling.

 

“migs, hey,” kyungsoo said. migs turned to him with a cocked eyebrow and a soft, “yeah?”

 

“i really hate how mainstream media portrayed captain america as this uber masculine, right wing conservative.”

 

migs paused. what the fuck.

 

“soo, i don’t know,” migs replied before he paused. “actually, isn’t he supposed to be?”

 

migs was not, like, a super marvel fan. he watched the movies casually but he never did go into the theater ready to analyze every dialogue. 

 

kyungsoo nodded as his feet tried to cooperate underneath him.

 

“yeah,” he said enthusiastically. he was slurring more now and his hand was gripping migs’ tightly. “he’s a son of a single mother who was also an immigrant tapos he grew up pa in a famous queer neighborhood in brooklyn.” 

 

wow. kyungsoo must have been way drunk than jongin thought he was. no one would start casual convos like this if they weren’t about to pass out.

 

out of instinct, migs said, “please don’t puke in my car.”

 

kyungsoo just gave a _hehehe_ laugh that turned into a short _hohoho_. amazing. 

 

finally, nakarating na sila sa car ni migs. he unlocked the door and practically shoved kyungsoo inside. he rushed sa driver’s seat and pulled his phone out to text gabby that he’d be the one dropping kyungsoo home. he was a little jealous that his best friend was most likely going to get ass tonight since kasama niya yung fubu niya. 

 

unlike jongin.

 

he was about to turn the ignition on when kyungsoo held his hand and shouted, “stop!”

 

migs turned to him and kyungsoo looked sick in the face. puta. kakasabi lang niya ah. he quickly reached over and opened the door and kyungsoo pushed himself and just—

 

he just vomited sa labas ng car. migs made a face. tangina. tangina talaga.

 

“jesus, fuck, soo,” migs said. he could not even be annoyed at kyungsoo. he kind of hated himself kasi bakit hindi siya naiinis? if anything, he was resigned. if this was gabby puking his guts out sa isang sketchy parking sa pasig city, jongin would call his friend a grab car and let the driver deal with his drunk ass. 

 

after ni kyungsoo magsuka, he looked like he was about to pass out. jongin sighed and steeled himself. kinuha niya yung tissue sa glove compartment that was usually for other things but what could you do? nandito na eh.

 

he wiped the vomit around sa bibig ni kyungsoo. kyungsoo’s lips were so soft and migs, for a moment, regretted na hindi sila nakapag momol man lang. or maybe a blowjob. sayang talaga that kyungsoo was too drunk.

 

kyungsoo was starting to list to the side and migs tapped one fat cheek—migs mournfully thought na this was not the fat cheek he was hoping to tap tonight pero oh well.

 

“soo, baby,” he said. nagslip out na lang yung baby probably out of habit or maybe dahil mukhang baby yung kalbo sa passenger’s seat.

 

bumukas mata ni kyungsoo slowly and made a gurgling noise. “miggy?”

 

nasanay na ata yung tenga ni jongin sa miggy dahil hindi na nagtwitch yung mata niya. he kind of, sort of, would admit na the sound of miggy from kyungsoo’s mouth was appealing. probably because the only comparison was gabby’s annoying as fuck voice. 

 

“we’ll go to my house, 'k?” sinabi niya. kinuha niya yung water bottle was may likod and twisted the cap. “inom ka water.”

 

kyungsoo held the PET bottle per his fingers weren’t clasping around the plastic properly. migs held it for him and then practically made kyungsoo drink. he tipped it slightly as kyungsoo gulped shallowly. migs was careful kasi baka mabigla si kyungsoo.

 

once kyungsoo started shaking his head, kinuha na ni migs yung bote and then finished the rest of the water. ang sad na the most action he got tonight from kyungsoo, aside from the dance floor grinding, was an indirect kiss. 

 

he gave a quick call sa bahay nila. he turned the ignition on and sinuotan niya ng seatbelt si kyungsoo. as he was backing out of the parking lot, one arm naka stretch to kyungsoo’s seat and looking behind just in case, kyungsoo started making frustrated noises.

 

akala ni migs tulog na ‘to?

 

pagtingin niya, kyungsoo was trying to unzip his pants but he was doing a bad job at it.

 

“soo,” migs said, pained. “keep your clothes on.”

 

“i’m trying to get my phone.” kyungsoo whined. migs did not get why he was trying to pull out his phone from inside his pants and wala siyang nagawa but hand his own.

 

“here,” sabi niya. he unlocked the device and gave it to kyungsoo.

 

“thank you, miggy,” kyungsoo said. 

 

akala ni migs tatahimik na si kyungsoo but the drunk man made little noises until finally, the beginnings of a song started playing.

 

jongin hated the fact that he recognized it.

 

the spageti song by sexbomb girls, probably from the sumayaw, sumunod, the best of sexbomb girls album. that was always the first thing na lumalabas na suggestion sa apple music niya.

 

migs _really_ hated the fact that he knew all this.

 

out of nowhere, kyungsoo suddenly slurred out, “oh, ano, mga darling, ready na ba kayo? sige simulan na natin ah! okay, five, six, seven, eight!”

 

oh my god. saulong saulo ni kyungsoo ang bawat line. the drunk male pitched his voice higher and then, “ _apir tayo. sumakit ang ulo ko, sumakit ang bewang ko. sexbomb, sexbomb, sexbomb_.”

 

kitang kita ni migs ang uncoordinated white woman dancing ni kyungsoo. his forearm sa may noo tapos he wiggled his body and—

 

migs could not help himself. natawa na talaga siya.

 

as in tawang tawa na. like he felt the need to slow down sa pagda-drive kasi baka maaksidente sila.

 

“kyungsoo—” he gasped. oh my god.

 

“ _apir tayo! sumakit ang ulo ko, sumakit ang bewang ko. sexbomb, sexbomb, sexbomb_.”

 

“ _soo—babe—ano ba_ — _gago_ —”

 

tangina. 

 

hindi na makahinga si migs. 

 

pinanood niya si kyungsoo sumayaw and magbelt out ng lyrics. siya lahat ng lines and when he started doing the spagheti step, yung baba and tataas while sitting down—grabe—parang nagme-melt siya sa upuan niya. migs had to fucking brake sa may gilid kasi naiiyak na siya sa kakatawa.

 

this was better than any sex he’d ever had in his entire life.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

finally, nakarating na rin sila sa bahay ni migs. yung kasambahay nila ang nag-open ng gate and naglock nito. jongin vaguely felt guilty kasi nanggising na naman siya but hindi yun nagtagal kasi kyungsoo almost fell flat sa cement ng garahe nina migs when he tried to get down.

 

“soo, shit,” he cursed. “be careful.”

 

halos sumabit na si kyungsoo kay jongin and when they got inside, the only thing migs was thankful for was the fact na wala ang parents niya to witness this.

 

migs wanted sex not a job of babysitting.

 

they made their way sa second floor kung nasaan ang kwarto ni migs as kyunsoo sang, off key now, against migs’ neck. hot sana if only kyungsoo was not singing halukay fucking ube. 

 

migs could not even be bothered to focus sa lips na parang hinahalikan na yung balat niya kasi _halukay ube, halukayin mo ng todo_. putangina.

 

saulo na ni migs yung buong kanta.

 

halos ihagis na niya sa kama niya si kyungsoo and this time, the drunk man was fiddling around with jongin’s phone. nagplay yung telltale na _ooooyyyyyy_ and migs knew he was fucked.

 

nagdive siya beside kyungsoo to decrease the volume of his phone and disconnect sa bluetooth speaker.

 

“soo, please,” beg ni migs. hindi ito ang begging na na-expect niyang gagawin. kyungsoo was a man of surprises. puta.

 

kyungsoo just smiled at him, wide and—shit. okay, migs was not going there.

 

“let’s get you cleaned up, baby. ‘like na,” sabi ni migs ulit. kyungsoo just shook his head and pushed migs away.

 

“ _papa, di ba labs na labs kita. sayang, sige baka magsisi ka._ ” kyungsoo stood up sa kama ni migs and migs watched in horror as kyungsoo continued with “ _macho! gwapo!”_ habang tumatawa as he pointed at migs.

 

good to know na kyungsoo thought he was macho! gwapo! with a wink tapos _baka magsisi ka_. putangina talaga ng buhay ni migs.

 

this was not what he had in mind when the night went on. he allowed kyungsoo to just do what he wanted and he went to his closet to grab a shirt and a pair of sweatpants na merong adjustable string for kyungsoo and then basket ball shorts for himself. kumuha na rin siya ng small face towel before heading sa banyo.

 

binasa niya yung towel and he kept half an ear to kyungsoo’s drunken belting of _ok, fine! kung ayaw mo na sa akin_. he twisted the wet towel para mawala yung excess towel bago bumalik sa may bed, dala niya na yung mga damit.

 

“come on, sexbomb kyungsoo. let’s get you ready for bed,” sabi ni migs with a smile. 

 

nararamdaman na naman niya yung tawa that was threatening to bubble over kasi kyungsoo was having his mini concert on top of his bed. nung sinabi niyang gusto niyang i-kama si kyungsoo, this was not what he meant.

 

but still.

 

the older man was cute, even if he was making migs babysit him.

 

lumapit si kyungsoo and he plopped down sa lap ni migs. that was—unexpected.

 

migs tried not to shift as kyungsoo wiggled on top of him.

 

“soo,” he said, tight and pained. “stay still.”

 

tumigil si kyungsoo, thankfully, and migs wiped the older man’s face gamit yung damp towel. kyungsoo made little noises of complaint but he stayed still sa kandungan ni migs. first time ito ni jongin miguel to take care of someone drunk kasi usually, he was drunk din with the person, or drunker.

 

pagkatapos niyang punasan ang face ni kyungsoo, he took the shirt na kinuha niya and handed it to the man.

 

“here—change into this,” sabi niya. kyungsoo took the piece of clothing and stared at it like he had no idea what a shirt was.

 

migs pulled kyungsoo’s shirt hem up and kyungsoo made a small noise of confusion.

 

“i’m changing you,” migs said. he tried to keep his skin from making contact with kyungsoo’s kasi migs was trying not to be that person. migs was not that kind of person. at least, he didn’t think he was.

 

kyungsoo nodded and maybe he was already tired from his mini concert and the alcohol. he let migs lift the hem of his shirt up. migs tossed the black shirt sa floor and tried to keep his eyes up at kyungsoo’s small face.

 

it’s not like it’s hard to keep his stare there.

 

it’s a pretty appealing face.

 

he dragged it down and when kyungsoo’s head popped sa neck hole, he was still smiling. migs, too, kasi he could not help it. grabe, sumisikat na ata ang araw.

 

kinuha niya yung sweatpants and pressed it sa mukha ni kyungsoo. “go change into this.”

 

kyungsoo nodded and finally—hallelujah amen—tumayo na siya sa lap ni miguel. he was standing on the bed still and he shimmied out of his jeans, kicking it away. the shirt fell down and covered his modesty and migs could catch was a hint of a soft stomach and the black boxer shorts na suot ng lasing na binata.

 

migs averted his eyes from the thighs and legs on display. instead na isuot ni kyungsoo yung sweatpants, he plopped down sa kama and went under the covers without a weird.

 

tingnan mo nga ‘tong weirdo na ‘to.

 

migs picked up yung mga pinaghubaran ni kyungsoo pati na rin yung face towel na ginamit. he brought everything to the bathroom and changed into the basketball shorts na kinuha niya kanina himself.

 

paglabas niya sa banyo, kyungsoo was still on the bed, still as a statue na nakahiga. migs debated if he would get in with the other man pero he was not wearing a shirt and the only thing that could potentially separate his dick from kyungsoo’s ass was his shorts and kyungsoo’s underwear.

 

kahit na walang mangyayari tonight, migs did not want to wake up in awkward positions, okay?

 

he dropped his hand na lang on kyungsoo’s bald head and caressed the hair-rough surface.

 

“good night, soo,” migs said.

 

kyungsoo smiled at him and it made his cheeks bunch up. sobrang gustong pisilin ni migs yung cheeks na ‘yun. his heart shaped smile made his gums and little teeth show and migs did not even try to stop yung ngiti sa face niya.

 

“good night.”

 

migs was walking away when kyungsoo called out, “migs.”

 

lumingon siya and with asked a soft, “hm?”

 

kyungsoo _hehehe-_ ed and said again, “miguel.”

 

migs sighed but his mouth twitched, “yeah?”

 

another _hehehe_ and kyungsoo whispered, “miggy.”

 

migs shook his head. “what is it?”

 

kyungsoo shook his head against the pillow.

 

“nothing.” he paused for a moment before he tilted his head sa direction ni migs na papalabas na ng room. “thanks.”

 

migs smiled and nodded. “it’s no problem, soo.” he walked away and turned the lights off sa bedroom niya. the night didn’t exactly go the way he had wanted but the front row VIP ticket to the kyungsoo do drunken show was worth it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

migs woke up a little groggy sa guest bedroom ng bahay nila. he was a little confused kasi—why was he here? was he that drunk?

 

he shook his head. hindi naman siya uminom. he tried blinking sleep out of his eyes, trying to look for his phone. wala ito sa tabi niya.

 

suddenly, all the memories of last night came rushing back. right, kyungsoo and the almost bathroom momol or something more that ended up in a, strangely enough, sexbomb girls concert. if someone told migs two years ago na magiging ganito ang buhay niya because of one man, he would probably laugh straight into your face.

 

speaking of kyungsoo, tumayo na si migs sa kama and went to his bedroom. he was a little worried na baka magpanic si kyungsoo when he woke up inside a strange bedroom. pag pasok niya sa loob, he was greeted by the sight of his still snoring friend. the comforter was pulled high, hanggang sa chin, that only kyungsoo’s bald head was poking out.

 

natawa si migs. parang itlog si kyungsoo. 

 

he grabbed his towels and decided to hit the shower. migs took his time to shampoo and wash himself. amoy alak din siya and something else na. kadiri. he was toweling his hair dry when a loud gasp echoed from outside followed by a confused voice.

 

“oh my god,” sabi nito. jongin hurried drying himself. he heard another, “oh no! where am i?!” before he wrapped yung isang towel sa waist niya. the other was hanging around his neck as he dried the tips of his hair.

 

pag labas niya, kita niya ang paglaki ng mata ni kyungsoo who was now sitting sa kama. he looked really freaked out.

 

“migs?!” he almost shrieked.

 

migs could have said a lot of things like—‘ _good morning, kyungsoo’_ , or maybe ‘ _nothing happened; don’t worry’_ , or maybe even _‘want something to eat?_ ’

 

instead, migs said, filter probably broken, “what happened to calling me miggy?”

 

putangina.

 

kyungsoo looked really freaked out talaga like he woke up in an alternate universe. 

 

“i called you miggy?” parang iiyak na si kyungsoo and he was clutching the covers tightly.

 

migs snorted. “yes,” he replied simply. 

 

nagtutuwalya pa rin siya ng buhok and he felt kyungsoo’s stare sa katawan niya. migs would neither confirm or deny if someone asked kung sinadya niyang lumabas wearing a towel lang. he also would neither confirm nor deny if someone asked kung nae-enjoy niya ang expression and reaction ni kyungsoo sa sight of him naked.

 

“d-did anything…?” kyungsoo trailed off. migs looked back at the shaved man to find na he looked like he was about to cry.

 

wow. offensive much?

 

“relax,” migs rolled his eyes. “nothing happened. we went to the men’s room kasi i thought you were g. kinda did some groping pero you were too drunk. i brought you home kasi for some reason ayaw mo umuwi?”

 

kyungsoo looked up and with wobbling lips—ganoon ba kasama ang prospect of sleeping with migs?!, he asked, “eh bakit i was in my underwear lang?”

 

migs shrugged, “you fell asleep before you put anything more than my shirt.”

 

kyungsoo paused and then breathed a sigh of relief. 

 

“grabe ah,” migs said, unable to stop himself. “i’m not a bad fuck, soo.”

 

kyungsoo blushed red. “it’s not that!” he shook his head as migs pulled boxers from his closet. he took his towel off and let it fall sa floor.

 

“miggy!!” kyungsoo shrieked for real this time.

 

tawa ng tawa si migs habang sinusuot niya yung boxers siya. he turned around, now that he’s clothed—or well, his dick was.

 

“you called me miggy again,” he pointed out.

 

naka pikit pa rin si kyungsoo. migs scoffed. kung maka react naman ‘to akala mo wala rin siyang tite. though to be fair, migs thought with a smirk, he’s bigger than kyungsoo. not to be that locker room jerk though, pero _way bigger_ talaga from what he’d seen when kyungsoo was in his underwear lang.

 

“it’s fine now,” migs said teasingly. “i’m wearing boxers na.”

 

nag-open ng mata si kyungsoo and he breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of migs in his plaid boxer shorts. before migs could say anything, there was a distinct sound that came out of the smaller man.

 

kyungsoo’s stomach grumbled. migs did not even bother to stop himself from laughing out loud.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_jongin miguel kim was not aware of it at that time—but that was probably the beginning for him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay due to content, important notes!!
> 
> 1\. please be reminded to stay safe during parties and when you're drinking out!! only go with people you trust ><  
> 2\. migs did explain what happened sa cr and apologized to kyungsoo again over breakfast! it won't be mentioned na in the next chapters but please remember na migs would NOT do anything kyungsoo did not consent to. it tried to make it clear na he was not that person.
> 
> anyway, gabby park nation rise for the next chapter!!! 
> 
> also i'm so glad everyone is leaving comments, please continue to support my precious hearts career!!


	8. story time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gabby did some groceries and a person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **STORY TIME: MY PARENTS ABANDONED ME!**  
>  so di talaga dapat ako mag-uupdate kasi aalis kami but like i told my parents na hintayin ako kasi ligo ako mabilis lang and ABA while nasa banyo ako narinig ko yung sasakyan paalis na yung gate binubuksan na grabe sizties napatingin na lang ako sa tiles in DEFEAT.
> 
> kaya ang chapter na ito ay para sa mga iniwan, tulad ko.
> 
> unbeta-ed din kasi ayoko na balikan 'to like ayaw ako balikan ng magulang ko CHAROT

 

 

nagpass ang semester into a blur. one day, nagpaparty lang sila sa pasig tapos the next, muntik na maibagsak ni gabby yung isa sa management classes niya. clutch though—he’s all good kasi hindi siya mag-isa. tiwala sa curve, bro. 

 

he was currently about to spend the rest of his afternoon sa regis center, at gold’s gym. nakaupo siya sa bench with two dumbbells—15 lbs each kasi he’s gabby park. the hypothetical fire emojis would go here kasi lit.

 

“ _ah… shiiit…_ ” mura niya. puta. arm day was always amazing pero feeling niya lagi para siyang mamamatay by the end of it. tinaas niya yung dumbbell in a hammer curl, trying to keep his back straight habang naka upo siya sa bench.

 

_oops. teka. hindi niyo expect ‘to, no?_

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_meet gabby park. well, you’ve already met the guy—sort of. this time, meet gabby park who was not talking to his best friend or with his potential sex partners. meet gabby park around the people na dude, pare, bro lang. meet gabby park in his natural habitat_.

 

pagbaba nung dumbbells in their starting position, gabs took a deep breath. two reps na lang and he would be done for this session. pawis na pawis na siya but dry fit shirts exist for a reason. 

 

isang taas pa ulit and isang baba and then he slumped down. ang sakit sakit ng arms niya but okay lang kasi ginusto niya ito.

 

“gabs, dude!” may tumawag sa kanya.

 

pag tingin ni gabby to his right, he saw kris wu na papasok pa lang, all dressed and ready to do his workout. normally ay kasabay niya ito but since kris was working a high profile and busy job, medyo naging erratic na ang gym hours ng taller male.

 

“hey. wassup, wu?” lapit ni chanyeol. he didn’t exchange a bro hug with kris, or known as wu to practically everyone platonic, kasi he was sweaty.

 

kris was settling in sa harap ng weights, trying to pick which dumbbell to use. he settled for a 10 lb one and chanyeol whistled.

 

“weak,” he drawled out. 

 

“gago,” balik ni kris wu sa kanya. the dude started doing light curls of his arms, bending at the elbows. mga half way to the rep, while chanyeol was still wiping his sweat, wu said, “gabby, g ka later after work out? i’m meeting with some old friends for dinner.”

 

nag-isip si gabby for a moment. dinner with kris wu would mean walwal afterwards. his _old friends_ were most likely his batch mates or school mates dati sa xavier, where he went to for high school. gabby loved xavier boys kapag party. for some reason, maybe the repressed chinese-filipino environment where they were in made them even more gago. 

 

“deins, bro,” sabi ni gabby tapos may eyebrow wiggle. “punta ko coco eh.”

 

natawa si kris wu as he huffed and did his workout. his form as good, gabby noted, and he said so out loud.

 

“ty, gabs,” sagot ni kris wu. “but coco? post gym? is migs not talking your ear off about protein and shit?”

 

natawa si gabby. migs _was_ talking his ear off about protein and what not but that was mostly migs trying to annoy the fuck out of him.

 

“nah, wu.” gabby wiggled his eyebrows. “i’m gonna meet with someone.”

 

“someone?” taas ang isang strong kilay ni kris wu. “as in? you’re meeting fubus at coco now? coco the milk tea place? tangina.”

 

“gago,” sabi ni gabby, lengthening the _go_ into _goooo_. “it’s not like that kasi.”

 

nagsmirk si kris wu. “not like that yet?”

 

“fuck you,” natatawang reply ni gabby. pero of course, hindi siya nagdeny. 

 

 

**

 

 

the biggest con siguro of having long hair was the fact na ang hirap magshower anywhere. gabby was not masipag enough para magdala ng shampoo, conditioner, and hair dryer every time na lang na pupunta siya ng gym. but then again, baseball caps were there for a reason.

 

after niyang magbihis into his white na t shirt and black adidas track pants. of course, hindi siya nagwork out para lang takpan ang muscles niya. tinupi niya yung sleeves until parang magmuka na itong muscle tee. kinuha rin niya yung red cap niya from his gym bag. 

 

nagsuklay muna siya and tangina, kadiri kasi his head was all sweaty. he decided to put it in a low bun and he managed to pilfer the last remaining ipit sa ID niya. puta ni migs, hindi mamili ng sariling hair tie that now nawala na yung mga extras niya.

 

papahaba ng buhok pero hindi kaya na ma-maintain. 

 

gabby slung his bag sa balikat niya and then he grabbed his phone. he put his cap on backwards din. dumaan siya in front of a mirror, and like any other self-respecting gym goer, he took a mirror selfie. syempre nagflex siya. gabby curled his arm at the elbox, making sure to press his arm close to his body para yung slight cushion magspill out and mas lalong magmukha na malaki ang braso niya.

 

his body was not like migs “2% fat parang milk ang body” kim pero damn—gabby was proud of what his work out was doing. besides, hindi naman niya goal ang magmukhang sa gym siya nakatira, he liked being thick. mas bagay ‘to sa kanya.

 

of course, like any other self respecting millennial, habang hinihintay niya yung elevator, he pulled up twitter and posted the image.

 

 

> **Gabby** @ParkItRightHere - 1m
> 
> ironically says, “gains, bro.” [bicep flexing emoji, fire emoji]
> 
> [image of gabby FLEXING]
> 
>  

and syempre, just to be annoying kasi his usual gym buddy ditched him, he pulled up another tweet as a reply doon sa picture and tagged migs.

 

 

> **Gabby** @ParkItRightHere - 1m
> 
> ironically says, “gains, bro.” [bicep flexing emoji, fire emoji]
> 
> [image of gabby FLEXING]
> 
> **Gabby** @ParkItRightHere - 1s
> 
> san ka na @migskim [LOL emoji, LOL emoji, LOL emoji]

 

the notification came in just as he was getting inside the elevator. tumayo siya sa side because that was the politest thing to do, always, lalo na dahil malaki siyang harang. he went all _excuse me_ , _sorry_ para he could press yung button for the second floor.

 

mabilis naman ang elevator sa regis and gabby went out pagdating sa floor niya. he hugged his bag closer to his side kasi baka may matamaan siya. he went straight to coco and was not surprised na maraming tao, yung pila was abot na half-way to the entrance. buti na lang naspot niya agad yung kalbong ulo ni kyungsoo. he was sitting near doon sa partition and gabby immediately made his way to him.

 

“hey, kyungsoo!” gabby said. instead na umupo siya sa chair across kay kyungsoo, he opted na ilagay doon yung gym bag niya tapos tumabi na lang kay kyungsoo. the smaller male had his laptop open in front of him and gabby looked at the readings na naka open sa preview ni kyungsoo.

 

“uy, levinas?” he asked.

 

“yup,” kyungsoo nodded. it’s always levinas for philoshophy. or marcel. parang war flashbacks ito kay gabby.

 

medyo masikip. actually, masikip talaga. kasi merong nakaupo sa long couch beside gabby. she didn’t seem to mind. gabby had an idea why.

 

napansin niya yung coco order ni kyungsoo na paubos na.

 

“want another?” tanong niya kay kyungsoo. of course, bibilan ni gabs ‘to.

 

nagshake ng head si kyungsoo. 

 

“no na,” sagot ni kyungsoo. “punta ko up town after this eh. my mom asked me to buy some stuff sa merkado.”

 

okay. gabby didn’t expect that kyungsoo was going to do anything after this. akala niya they would hang out tapos maybe dinner tapos you know, lalandi si gabby. pwede umabot until momol or kahit man lang flirting. gustong gusto ni gabby to flirt with other people.

 

gustong gusto niya yung namumula yung mukha, and nagshe-shake yung words. he liked it when people would get nervous.

 

“ah really,” he said tapos nagpout pa siya. pa-cute kay kyungsoo. ayaw niya ‘to normally pero kyungsoo was the type na nadadala ng mga pa-cute na ganito. “i thought we could hang.”

 

nagfrown si kyungsoo. “sorry, gabby. i really have to do errands for my mom.”

 

of course, chance na ni gabby ito. opening niya to say something and invite himself.

 

“pweds naman na i go with you?” gabby offered nonchalantly. 

 

he rested his arm doon sa may table tapos he FLEXED. capital letters kasi kung ano ang nilaki ng letters F, L, E, X, E, and D ay yun din ang nilaki ng braso niya. pansin niya yung mata ni kyungsoo na medyo nagstray sa braso niya which was the plan all along.

 

“um—” sabi nito. yung mata ni kyungsoo nakatingin pa rin sa braso niya before binalik sa mukha ni gabby. gabby smirked, showing na he knew what kyungsoo was looking at. namula si kyungsoo and gabby internally rejoiced. ang cute magblush ni kyungsoo with his chubby cheeks. 

 

“so ano? g?” gabby asked, lifting one eyebrow.

 

“sure,” sabi ni kyungsoo ng mabilis before he turned away and looked back sa laptop niya ulit.

 

umupo lang si gabby sa tabi ni kyungsoo. hindi na siya umorder ng drink because coming after the gym always made him a little more conscious sa kung ano ang kinakain niya. kyungsoo was taking small sips of his panda milk tea while he was reading an excerpt from _entre nous_. familiar ang content kay gabby because he had read some parts of the book dahil kay b.

 

b liked reading mga ganito, as a philosophy major. though as a philosophy major din, he was way past these concepts na siguro. gabby decided to just scroll through his phone. he slung his arm doon sa back of the couch, parang nasa likod na rin ni kyungsoo. he was not sure how kyungsoo would take it if he actually slung his arm around sa balikat ni kyungsoo so he kept it mostly to himself.

 

mabilis naman natapos si kyungsoo and gabby could see him making notes sa dulo ng pdf, adding several questions tapos putting stars doon sa mga important points. he added some of his thoughts din but it was mostly ‘ _so parang like levinas was saying na ???????_ ’

 

gabby wanted to help kyungsoo out kasi nga he was familiar with the content because of b and his ramblings about philosophy. chanyeol had never thought na aabot siya sa punto ng buhay niya na he could discuss the concept of the Other while pulling ideas pa from albert camus and jean-paul sartre. he had never even thought na aabot siya sa point na makilala niya ang works nina camus and sartre but b was talkative and he would get excited sa mga bagong books na nababasa niya. 

 

but also, if he started explaining stuff to kyungsoo, baka hindi na sila makaabot sa merkado.

 

nililigpit na ni kyungsoo yung laptop niya na puro sexbomb stickers—no thanks to migs—when nagping yung cellphone ni chanyeol with a text.

 

b: heeyyyy gabs r u free now

 

inisip ni gabby if he would say yes. with b, sure thing, but he really sort of wanted to hang out with kyungsoo rin. he was thinking of asking kyungsoo out na kumain also and he was sure na the other male would agree, considering gabs would do him a favor, kind of. also, he already invited himself and he would feel medyo bad if bigla siyang nagbail out.

 

in the end, he settled for a simple text.

 

**gabby** : sorry b

**gabby** : rain check

**gabby** : maybe later

 

instant ang reply ni b.

 

**b** : u busy?!??!

**b** : it’s friday

 

of course, gabby was honest.

 

**gabby** : going w ksoo to merkado [winking emoji, winking emoji, winking emoji]

 

nakita niya yung typing icon sa imessage before nawala and then bumalik ulit, gabby was anticipating a joke. b was always trying to make sass. 

 

**b** : stay safe

**b** : dont do it sa mall cr LOL

 

natawa si gabby and he had a hard time typing out his reply.

 

**gabby** : dw

**gabby** : thats our special place [heart eyes emoji]

 

as expected, hindi na nagreply si b. gabby could imagine the other man groaning and cursing him with a _putangina mo, chanyeol gabriel_. classic b.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

palakad na sila papunta sa merkado when kyungsoo turned to gabby with a curious face.

 

“gabs,” he said. “who were you talking kanina at coco?”

 

gabby pulled one of his sleeves higher kasi bumabagsak na ito, making sure na yes, he was flexing. sadly, hindi nagreact si kyungsoo katulad ng kanina.

 

“oh that’s b,” sagot niya. “remember him from a few weeks ago? sa event sa pasig?”

 

nagnod si kyungsoo and his face brightened up. “yeah! he added me on facebook and followed me on twitter.” he gave chanyeol a sly glance tapos nagwiggle yung thick eyebrows niya. “that’s your boyfriend, right?”

 

nagsplutter si gabby. 

 

“no!” daing niya with a laugh. 

 

kyungsoo gave him a disbelieving stare before he pulled a basket tapos nilagay doon sa cart for it. he pulled another from the stack and kyungsoo bent down para ilagay ito doon sa baba. gabby made sure to savor the view.

 

savor as in he bit his bottom lip. and the view as in ang fat ass ni kyungsoo all up in the air.

 

thank you, lord, for the meal.

 

“wait. hindi mo siya boyfriend?” kyungsoo said as he straightened up. gabby took the handle bar and started pushing sa direction of the main aisle.

 

“what are you buying?” he asked as kyungsoo pulled his phone out. “and yeah. b was not my boyfriend.”

 

kyungsoo pulled a text from _mama_ [star emoji] and gabby resisted the urge to coo kasi _cute_. kyungsoo was a mama’s boy siguro. he was the bunso of the family, like gabby (and migs), but even the two of them did not put a star emoji after sa contact name ng moms nila. 

 

pinakita ni kyungsoo yung text sa kanya and he read a bunch of stuff that was mostly food items before leading the cart kung saan makikita iyon. kyungsoo was in charge of pulling stuff from the shelves and gabby was in charge of pushing the cart and well, eyeing kyungsoo’s ass.

 

mabilis naman silang natapos kasi kyungsoo was very efficient sa grocery stores. mukha siyang sanay na sanay, like at home na at home siya rito. they made their way para magbayad quickly and kyungsoo bought a reusable merkado bag kasi naiwan niya raw yung kanila. 

 

cute. kyungsoo used reusable grocery bags. ang conscious sa environment. chanyeol would usually get plastic bags lang if it was him, to be quite honest.

 

the moment na napack na lahat sa bag, gabby swooped in to hold it. syempre. chance niya na ito to metaphorically and literally flex. kyungsoo rolled his eyes but he did let gabs carry it. hindi naman mabigat for gabby and fine, sige, it was arm day so medyo masakit but whatever. all for the sake of showing off. not only kay kyungsoo but sa buong population ng up town center. you’re welcome and all that.

 

“hey, kyungsoo,” sabi ni gabby once they were making their way outside merkado. “let’s dinner?”

 

hindi naman naghesitate si kyungsoo. “sure.”

 

“what do you want?” tanong ni gabby. sana up town lang because he was not in the mood to drive wherever.

 

of course, kyungsoo was not b, who would literally ask chanyeol to drive papuntang BGC, all the way from QC because he wanted to eat some weird ramen that was not even ramen.

 

“mama lou’s?” kyungsoo suggested. nakatilt na yung katawan niya to the direction of the restaurant and chanyeol knew na it was not a suggestion but more of a _please, let’s go eat at mama lou’s and don’t say no_.

 

gabby agreed and he hitched the bag sa shoulders niya. this way, mas FLEX kasi his arm was curled to hold the strap like it was a big shoulder bag. mama lou’s was literally a few steps away from merkado and even if medyo puno, there was easily a table for two.

 

binigay ng waiter yung menu and the two of them decided to pick one pasta and once pizza to share. chanyeol picked the pasta—truffle mac and cheese kasi he knew na kyungsoo loved cheese—and kyungsoo picked the pasta—mama lou’s special with extra arugula.

 

nagscrunch ng nose si gabby once nakaalis yung waiter with their order.

 

“that pizza has mangoes,” sabi niya dryly.

 

“i swear masarap siya,” kyungsoo said.

 

“oh my god,” gabby playfully remarked, gasping in an exaggerated manner. “i bet you like pineapples on your pizza!”

 

“of course!” kyungsoo defended. “sino ba may ayaw?”

 

“me!” gabby immediately said. he gave a resigned shake of his head. “i don’t trust you now.”

 

kyungsoo laughed and he made a face. “migs likes hawaiian so that’s two of us.”

 

“migs is gago so he doesn’t count,” gabby automatically said. natawa ulit si kyungsoo like amusing ng sinabi ni gabs for him.

 

“speaking of, nasan si migs? you two weren’t together?” kyungsoo asked. “i was texting him kanina eh but he stopped replying.”

 

nagroll ng eyes si gabby. “pussy appointment?” he said. medyo napalakas and napatingin yung group of people sa tabi nilang table. he slapped his hand sa bibig niya ang natawa si kyungsoo as the group still eyed them both.

 

“nakakahiya ka, gabs,” he said, trying to hold off his giggle. “and si miggy na rin.”

 

tumaas kilay ni gabby. “miggy?”

 

kyungsoo made an _oops_ face. “fun nickname,” he answered. “remember yung party before? doon nagstart.”

 

the small man did not elaborate and medyo namula siya. not kilig, pero yung red na medyo embarrassed. gabby was intrigued. one, jongin miguel kim _abhorred_ the nickname miggy. the last time chanyeol called him that was years ago, unless kapag inaasar niya ang best friend niya.

 

_interesting_.

 

“ah well. _miggy,_ ” gabby continued. nagstress siya doon sa miggy as he leaned sa table. “he was probably out with a friend—if you know what i mean. kaya siguro siya hindi nakakareply.”

 

gabby actually was not sure kung nasaan si migs right now. it’s not like they check each other up. sure, lagi sila magkasama and shit pero once migs said na he was going to be busy, hindi na inaalam ni gabby why. it was much better na wala siyang idea kasi plausible deniability and all that. also, migs really attracted the crazies, probably dahil yun ang gusto niya sa kama (or wherever, gabs was not judging).

 

“oh,” kyungsoo said softly. “okay.”

 

mukhang disappointed si kyungsoo. gabby wondered why. maybe it was nothing. he changed the topic into acads, which was safe territory, kasi it got kyungsoo ranting about his classes and that one prof niya who was shitty sa paglelecture and _gabby, nagbabasa lang siya from the powerpoint_!

 

hinati nila yung food and even gabby would admit na masarap yung pizza with the mangoes. probably because of the balsamic cream on top. kyungsoo had good taste. halfway into their meal, kyungsoo turned to him with a smirk.

 

“anyway,” he said. he chewed his last bite of mac and cheese muna before adding, “about you and b…” nagtrail off siya and gabby playfully groaned.

 

“what about b and me?” he asked. sinubo niya yung pizza and chewed carefully.

 

“you said ‘di kayo boyfriends,” he said slowly. “but migs mentioned na you two went home after nung event.”

 

puta. chanyeol cursed migs. napaka daldal talaga ng gago na ‘yun for someone who did not like to talk. tangina. he wondered anong magical powers ang meron si kyungsoo to have jongin miguel kim gossiping with him?

 

and was kyungsoo sitting on this for weeks now? ang taga na ng party ah.

 

“we’re not!” sabi ni gabby. “whatever that gago told you, baka hindi totoo.”

 

“wala naman siyang sinabi. grabe ka kay migs!” kyungsoo laughed out loud. “i just asked him kung paano kayo ni baekhyun kasi we left you two. sorry nga pala about that.”

 

gabby just nodded. kyungsoo had explained nung umaga after the party na he was super drunk and migs took him home kasi nagkakalat na siya and shit.

 

“well yeah,” nagnod si gabby. “you don’t have to be boyfriends naman to have sex.”

 

nagblush si kyungsoo sa bluntness niya but at least, gabby managed to keep his voice low.

 

“so you’re what?” kyungsoo leaned in kay gabby tapos tinakpan niya yung mouth niya. cute, gabby thought, and then he lowered his voice pa as he continued, “fubus?”

 

gabs nodded lang. “yep. but we’re really close friends so it’s ayt.”

 

“really?”

 

mukhang doubtful pa rin si kyungsoo so gabby flicked his round nose and said, laughing, “really, really, kalbs. go eat your food.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_it’s not like gabby was lying. but it was not like he was telling the truth, too. kyungsoo had to unlock friendship level 17 before he started talking about his past. that shit would come later, dude_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

of course, gabby drove kyungsoo pabalik sa house niya. and just because he wanted to flex some more, the metaphorical and the literal kind, siya talaga ang nagdala ng bag hanggang sa gate nila kyungsoo.

 

nag-open ito to reveal ang isang matandang babae na may katabaan. 

 

“ay ako na ser,” sabi nito habang hinihila yung bag mula sa balikat ni gabby. of course, hindi hahayaan ni gabby na magdala ng mabigat ang someone na may kataandaan na.

 

“ako na po,” he said and the older woman opened the gate para makapasok si gabby and si kyungsoo.

 

“nanay, this is gabby nga pala,” sabi ni kyungsoo. “gabby, this is nanay lumeng.”

 

“hello po. chanyeol gabriel park, friend po ako ni kyungsoo,” gabby said. 

 

nagbow siya ng head niya ng slight kasi ang awkward kung magha-handshake siya. dapat ba siyang magmano? his parents didn’t really teach him na magmano. beso ba dapat?

 

in the end, si nanay lumeng na ang nagpat ng balikat niya. “yaya ako ni kyungsoo,” she said. “first time mo dito, no? dati si jungde at yung migs lang yung nagpupunta.”

 

hindi maisip ni chanyeol kung sino yung jungde pero kilala na niya kung sino yung migs. isang migs lang naman siguro ang meron sa buhay ni kyungsoo unless he made a habit of collecting them. yung pagkakasabi ni nanay lumeng ng migs, matigas na i, mabilis—migs.

 

“ah si migs po.” si gabby and kyungsoo, _mehgs,_ sort of. 

 

“oo. nagdala ng chicken para kay kyungsoo mga ilang weeks na nakaraan,” sabi ni nanay lumeng. “bumalik na si pogi dito ilang beses na.”

 

natawa si gabby pero at the same time, nakapunta na si migs sa bahay ni kyungsoo?! as in inside tapos kilala na rin siya doon?! si gabby kasi hatid lang. kyungsoo had invited him many times pero hindi pa siya umo-oo.

 

si migs pala, he was already upping the ante. medyo nakaka-threaten din.

 

nanay lumeng led them sa kitchen tapos binaba na ni gabby yung bag of groceries. nagthank you ang kasambay nila kyungsoo tapos the shorter male walked him to the gate.

 

“thanks, gabby,” he said nung palabas na ito.

 

gabby placed his hand sa ulo ni kyungsoo before rubbing the shaved head. kyungsoo’s face had a put upon expression on it.

 

“it’s no prob, kalbs,” sabi niya with a wide smile. 

 

gabby meant every single word he said, he realized nung nasa car na siya. it really was no problem at all.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

palabas na siya ng varsity hills when he decided to pick his phone up. call him petty pero he opened his twitter and nagtweet. thank you, globe lte kasi it was sent agad.

 

 

> **Gabby** @ParkItRightHere - 3s
> 
> sort of italian dinner with @sexbombksoo 
> 
> [image of kyungsoo and their table of half eaten food]

 

hinintay niya yung like ni kyungsoo and lalo siyang natuwa kasi kyungsoo did his work for him. 

 

 

> **Gabby**  @ParkItRightHere - 3s
> 
> sort of italian dinner with @sexbombksoo 
> 
> [image of kyungsoo and their table of half eaten food]
> 
> **Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo
> 
> lol missing sexbomb migs @migskim

 

gabby didn't wait for migs to reply and he debated what he was going to do next. it was a friday and he was not about to spend it sa house when he could spend it doing other things.

 

or doing other people. so of course, hello, imessage. hello, contact three peaches with a heart.

 

**gabby** : hey b im free now

**gabby** : want me to come over?

 

mabilis ang reply ni b.

 

**b** : sure

**b** : basta dala ka alak

 

gabby did not bother replying but he did drive to b’s apartment as kendrick lamar played from the speakers of his car.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

sinundo siya ni b sa lobby ng condominium nito and gabby did the familiar routine of signing in sa logbook tapos ibibigay yung ID niya. b was quiet as he walked ahead of him and chanyeol followed with a plastic bag full of alcohol. mostly bottles of smirnoff ito but he did bring some soju na rin just in case b was in the mood for it.

 

the elevator was empty, sila lang dalawa. b was on the 27th floor pa so gabby set the bag down and siniksik si b sa isang corner. he started kissing baekhyun’s neck, yung labi niya naka latch on sa patch of soft skin ni baekhyun. 

 

“tangina, gabs,” b said in pain, words tight sa lalamunan niya. yung kamay ni b were both in fists. “maghintay ka nga.”

 

“b,” gabby whined. “i don’t want to.”

 

“fuck,” sabi ni b and gabby wormed his hand sa pwet ni baekhyun. he gripped one cheek and gave it a hearty squeeze without any warning. napatalon si b and he turned a sharp glare kay gabby.

 

he pushed the taller man away and walked a little farther from where gabby was. nagshrug lang si gabby. if b didn’t want to make out sa loob ng elevator then that was his choice. gabby just picked up the bag even if he was kind of disappointed. if ibang fubu ito, gabby would have been annoyed. if he didn’t like them that much, he would have just walked out of them lalo na at he was really feeling horny, now that he was not doing any thing. he didn’t think that kyungsoo was a tease at all but gabby did spend a lot of time looking at his ass.

 

paglabas nila sa elevator, they quietly walked sa condo ni b. b left it unlocked and chanyeol clicked his tongue but held off the sermon. hindi siya nandito to scold b and his self preservation instincts.

 

binaba niya sa counter yung bag ng alak and b immediately pulled two bottles of smirnoff tapos binuksan niya ito.

 

gabby pulled his shirt off before he accepted the drink from b.

 

“alam mo ikaw…” b trailed off. he rolled his eyes but chanyeol saw him eyeing his pecs so it was a win for him still.

 

“why bother?” sabi ni gabby. “maghuhubad din naman ako later.”

 

umupo sila sa couch and b said, “it’s called being subtle, gago.”

 

gabby shrugged again as he pulled himself closer to b.

 

“as i said—why bother?” nilagay niya yung mouth niya against the smaller man’s ear lobe. he made sure na naka-press ito. b’s ear was warming under his lips as he murmured. “no need to be subtle when i know you’re good for it.”

 

nagshiver si b and he took a huge gulp of his smirnoff. gabby knew na the other man was frustrated. he did not know if b had done it with anyone but the two of them had done it last noong after ng event, sa car ni gabs, tapos when he dropped b off and crashed sa condo niya afterwards. 

 

kinalahati niya yung bote niya ng smirnoff tapos he placed one hand sa thigh ni b. naka suot na lang din ng sweatpants si baekhyun so the soft cotton was the only thing that was serving as a barrier between his hand and b’s firm thighs.

 

“gago eh paano if i don’t put out?” b replied.

 

nagshrug si chanyeol tapos uminom ng smirnoff ulit.

 

“i’ll leave and text someone else,” he said easily. he and b were really good friends and they would hang out outside of the context of sex pero they always made it clear what they want ed out of meeting each other. chanyeol was not about to stay at b’s place for long when he wanted sex and b did not.

 

ganoon din si b sa kanya. it went both ways. if ayaw ni chanyeol, and he wanted to get laid, he was free to tell gabby to get the hell out and invite another person. it had happened before—mostly when gabby was too pissed to have sex but not pissed enough to _want_ to have sex. 

 

b froze up though and chanyeol waited for the man’s answer. he could say no and shake his head and the two of them could play call of duty for an hour while drinking tapos chanyeol could ask someone else or b would say yes and then they could do more of this teasing and drinking and gabby’s dick would get wet.

 

with b, it was always easy. no problems, no strings. just pure fun.

 

once upon a time, it was not like that. but once upon a time had to end and gabby had gotten over how it was not with a happily ever after.

 

b slumped down though and he took a sip of his alcohol tapos tumingin siya kay gabby with a smile. gabby returned it with a smirk and they did not talk—there was no need.

 

“knew it,” sabi niya ulit. 

 

he started nipping sa gilid ng leeg ni b as the other man lazily tilted his head. b was good at playing like gabby was not turning him on but the way he was breathing hard made it obvious. parehas lang silang malibog para sa isa’t isa. 

 

“you’re a slut,” sabi ni gabby sa may jaw line ni baekhyun. he pressed a hot kiss at the patch of skin.

 

“only for you,” teasing na sagot ni b.

 

gabby snorted kasi alam nila both how that was a lie. b slept with anyone he wanted to—not as much of a slut as gabs and definitely not as much as migs pero he was no saint.

 

uminom ulit si b ng alak niya but once he was done, gabby took the bottle and placed it sa sahig. binaba na rin niya yung kanya as he pulled b on top of his lap. hinalikan niya ito sa labi at walang pasabi na kinagat ang bottom lip nito.

 

b made a noise kasi he liked it when gabby would do that. b straddled him, both knees resting sa couch with gabby’s thighs in between his form. like this, mas mataas siya kay gabby and he leaned down lang, practically shoving his tongue sa loob ng bibig ni gabby.

 

his right hand was on gabs’ dick, palming it through his sweatpants. gabby held off a curse and broke their kiss. b’s other hand went to pull the baseball cap na suot pa niya. the shorter man tossed it to the side and gabby knew, ngiti pa lang ni b.

 

he pulled b closer tapos he held him against his torso. baekhyun’s arms wrapped around his neck and gabby held the male’s bottom tightly. tumayo siya with barely any sound of complaint as he made b wrap his legs sa waist niya.

 

b pulled away slightly, loosely holding himself up sa katawan ni gabby. gabby bore the full brunt of the smaller male pero that’s what the gold’s gym membership was for. if you could not lift your partner up, anong point ng gym mo? health? deins, dude.

 

he felt fingers clasp his small bun before they tugged the hair tie holding it together. binato rin yun ni b and gabby din not bother complaining that it was his last. marami pa si b na ipit here for him. fingers pulled at his hair as b crashed their lips together.

 

gabby walked them to the bed before he threw baekhyun over the mattress. he bounced slightly and giggled. gabby quickly took his sweat pants off before he pounced.

 

it was going to be a long night.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

favorite ni gabby ang saturdays and kahit na he woke up a little before lunch, at least he woke up in a familiar bed, inside a familiar room. there was something about the comforting scent of the sheets that made him not want to get out and start his day pero the distinct lack of warmth made him want to seek it out. iba pa rin talaga yung init na iniwan ng katabi sa kama.

 

gabby sat up and the first thing he did was pull the drawer built into the side table and root for a hair tie. he grabbed the first thing that his fingers brushed and he looked at it for a moment before tying his hair with it. plain black lang yung mismong tie pero merong plastic sunflower na nakadikit doon sa ipit. 

 

baekhyun really liked flowers, gabby knew. sunflowers were his favorite and this, too, he knew from experience—and well, credit card bills dated from two or so years ago. naaalala pa ni gabby yung mga panahon na he was on first name basis with the florist. never na siyang nakabalik doon sa flower shop just outside their subdivision, around a block away siguro from the gate but there was a point in his life when gabby park was a regular.

 

he blinked back the flashbacks and the onslaughts of memories like he was blinking back the fog of alcohol from the early morning. inipit ni gabby yung buhok niyang hopeless na ang mess before he stood up and put his boxers on.

 

a sound of a whistle echoed sa room and gabby looked up to find—

 

“morning, handsome,” b greeted him before the shorter male did an exaggerated wink. ito talagang si b, ang aga aga pa lang, ganito na agad. parang gago talaga but he was b and ibig sabihin no’n was that he was gabby’s gago rin. 

 

gabby laughed and he stood up, crowding baekhyun against the wall. pretty hands pressed and roamed over his abs, pressing into the slight cushion over them. yung kamay ni gabby were both nasa pwet na ni baekhyun, resting resting doon sa space kung saan nagdi-dip ang likod niya bago ito magswell into malalaman na globes.

 

b’s ass was a perfect handful and gabby did have big hands.

 

naglean down siya but before he could kiss the other man on the mouth, umiwas si baekhyun.

 

“ew,” he said. “take a shower and brush your teeth first.”

 

natawa si gabby sa reklamo ni baekhyun. between the two of them, si b yung mas maarte with things like this. gabby pulled away and b stepped forward, probably trying to side step him, until gabby managed to catch the side of his face with his palm and then—

 

“gabby! kadire!!” b yelped.

 

gabby rushed to the bathroom, laughing, while his lips tingled from the stolen kiss. he slammed the door shut as baekhyun made exaggerated noises na akala mo ba ay nasusuka siya. he was still laughing when he removed his boxer shorts and tossed it to the side.

 

he stepped under the spray of the shower and cursed kasi nakalimutan niyang tanggalin yung ipit niya. he quickly pulled it off and tossed sa sink— _lebron for three!_ —before he shook his head to let his hair under the water na rin.

 

the water was cold because gabby preferred his showers borderline the winter season. kinuha niya yung shampoo ni baekhyun—clear na white with menthol—and lathered his scalped, massaging and trying to get the dirt and the grease out. once he was satisfied, he rinsed the suds out of his hair and opened his eyes to look for the conditioner—cream silk, pink—that was always in b’s bathroom.

 

unfortunately, he found none.

 

“b!” gabby turned the shower off. “wala ka na conditioner?”

 

“it’s there!” baekhyun hollered from outside.

 

chanyeol tried to look for it, making sure na he was checking every space—who was he kidding? it was a tiny ass studio unit bathroom. if he could not see it, it was most likely not there.

 

“not here!” gabby replied back. he wrung and squeezed his hair out. “can you give me one?”

 

“oh my god,” he could hear b groan sa labas and he could not help but smile at the sound.

 

gabby heard rin sounds of opening and closing cup boards so he assumed na b, despite the groan, stood up to get him the hair product. a minute siguro and the door of the bathroom finally opened. hindi na nilo-lock ni chanyeol kasi what’s the point? b already saw it. b already sucked lahat ng pwedeng ma-suck so privacy was a pretty fucking foreign concept. 

 

umiikot ang mata ni baekhyun when he pulled the shower curtain to the side. he tossed the conditioner bottle to gabby and the taller male quickly caught it.

 

“ang arte naman kasi ng buhok na yan,” b complained before he turned around to stomp his way outside the bathroom.

 

“you said you liked my hair long!” gabby replied while tumatawa and sinasara ulit yung shower curtain. 

 

he knew baekhyun was just fronting. first of all, the hair he was complaining about was the same hair that he liked pulling and twisting and tugging during sex. ito yung same hair na sinasabunutan niya while gabby was sucking his dick or eating his ass out. second of all, daig pa ni baekhyun and department store sa dami ng ipit, hair bands, head bands, clips, and kung ano ano pang hair accessories that he owned and bought for gabby’s use.

 

he took hair maintenance seriously, okay. gabby placed a dollop of conditioner sa kamay niya before he worked the product into his hair, making sure na the ends were particularly coated. after nito came his favorite part—which was coming.

 

look, kailangan magbabad ng conditioner sa hair, he knew that much, and what better way to use his slick hands except, yes, to masturbate. 

 

nagsimula siya ng mabagal. the teasing was part of the action and mas mabilis siya matatapos if he worked himself into it rather than biglain niya ang sarili niya. he crawled his hands over his torso, tracing the slight protrusions of his abs. he dipped his finger sa belly button niya and pressed slightly. gabby pressed his forearm sa wall and leaned his forehead against it. his fingers were leaving ghosts of caresses on the skin just above the patch of hair sa crotch niya.

 

gabs gripped his soft dick in his right hand and pumped his length. sobrang dulas dahil sa conditioner and it made everything better because of how wet and easy the slide was. he gave a satisfied sigh kasi the first touch was always the best, for him.

 

gabby did not make a production out of it. it was more of, like, something to take the edge off. yung mga ganitong quick shower masturbation, para silang yosi break—mostly pang relax, nothing serious. he was chasing the remnants of last night, the last tendrils of warmth and lust underneath his skin, yung natitirang itch. 

 

his fingers slipped over his balls and fondled them for a bit before he worked his way upwards. he thumbed the slit and he thumbed it hard, breaking off in a moan that he could not control. gabby was usually quiet, biting his lip or his tongue to hold himself from making a single sound. but the pad of his index finger over his slit was fucking good so he did it again, making sure that the nail of his thumb lightly scraped the vein on the underside of his dick.

 

nagmoan ulit si gabby bago niya ulit pinagpatuloy ang pagsalsal sa tite niya. nagsimula siya sa mabagal, leisure na up and down lang, tapos unti unti na niyang binibilisan. tamaga bilis lang kasi wala naman siyang iniisip na specific person and he was past the point of imagining porn stars. he mostly enjoyed the sensations. the familiar heat sa belly niya and the tightness in his stomach. gabby knew his body well enough—too well, probably, from all the sex—and isang perfect flick ng wrist niya and he was already coming.

 

he didn’t come hard. he was tired from last night, okay? but the orgasm was like chasing away the fog that remained from what he and b did nung gabi and nung morning.

 

also, he could wash the conditioner off, already. nilinis niyang mabuti yung sarili niya and watched the future gabby park juniors slip down the drain. _bye, bye_. he soaped himself up gamit yung strawberry scented body wash ni baekhyun from bath &body works which was always awesome before he did another full rinse.

 

he wrapped his hair sa isang towel the way girls usually would and started drying himself off with another. nung natuyo na siya, he wrapped the towel low on his hips and stepped out of the bathroom. he remembered to fish the sunflower hair tie from the sink para maisuot niya ito sa right wrist niya.

 

baekhyun was sitting down sa couch with a judgemental stare.

 

“nagjakol ka ‘no?” tanong nito with a hint of _are you serious_ sa tono niya.

 

“yup,” gabby nodded without any shame. 

 

wala na talaga siyang ikaka-hiya kay baekhyun. this was b. b had seen him at his worst and at his best. b had also seen him in bed—and in other players where they decided to just go for it and, like, do whatever. literally isa na siyang open book kay baekhyun.

 

“you’re so gross,” baekhyun said without any heat.

 

“yup,” gabby nodded ulit. “i know that also.”

 

punta agad siya sa closet ni baekyun kung saan meron siyang sarili niyang corner. it had been there since a year ago but that was because baekhyun was tired of chanyeol’s forgotten stuff littering his studio condo. in his words nga, maliit na yung space, magkakalat pa si gabby. 

 

he took the first thing na nakita niya which was a pair of gray boxer shorts. wala na ring hiya na tinanggal niya yung tuwalya sa hips niya at sinuot ang boxers niya. he also wore a pair of gray pants and huh, so it _was_ here all along. ang tagal hinanap ni chanyeol ito and he had actually resigned the fact na hindi niya na mahahanap ito, left probably sa closet ng naka fubu niyang iba dahil he was too fucking forgetful to remember shit except condoms and lube. 

 

syempre, no shirt. who even had the time to wear a top? certainly not him. chanyeol’s body heat probably ran hotter than most so hindi siya lamigin. props to him kasi he had every reason to display what a premium gold’s gym membership could give you.

 

gabs pulled the towel from his hair and sinampay niya muna niya ito to dry sa banyo. paglabas niya, he turned to baekhyun na nakaupo pa rin sa couch, watching something sa TV that was connected to netflix. from the limited amount of time na napanood ito ni gabby because of b, all he knew from _Dynasty_ was that everyone was lying to each other, one way or another. 

 

“b,” gabby called out. hindi siya tumayo sa harap ng TV though dahil alam niyang magagalit si baekhyun if he did that. “baekhyun. baekhyun b. byun. baekhyun baby boy byun.”

 

“god, chanyeol gabriel!” baekhyun exploded. “what is it?”

 

may tick sa right eye ni baekhyun and his mouth was pressed tight together. oops, gabby thought. nainis na nga ata niya si baekhyun. he knew na no one could get in the way of baekhyun watching dynasty, especially since he had made noises about how hindi niya nalaman ang show na ito before and bakit late na siya sa balita na meron palang show na katulad nito that was basically _all of b’s dreams in one show_. it was a little weird though, considering na ang last favorite ni b that he binge watched was fucking _narcos_. sobrang layo parang ateneo papuntang BGC para uminom on a friday night tapos traffic.

 

aside from narcos, though, baekhyun’s tv show tastes really sucked balls, if gabby was to judge it. syempre, he would never tell that to b's face. gusto niya kung nasaan ang tite niya currently, which was _attached to his body—_ thank you very much.

 

he smiled sheepishly and looked up from underneath his lashes. gusto talaga ni b na nagpapacute si gabby and gabby never really understood why. it was probably because gabs himself hated making pa-cute and baekhyun was such a brat na nag-eenjoy sa misery ng iba.

 

sobrang schadenfreude at its finest.

 

“babe, ipit mo hair ko?” chanyeol asked softly. naglook up si baekhyun sa ceiling—his usual action kapag naiinis na siya kay gabby pero bibigay pa rin. gabs knew it was a yes already.

 

“fine,” sabi ni b. tumayo ito and pumunta sa may direction of the bed. he ordered, “kunin mo sa banyo yung hair dryer.”

 

sunod naman si gabby and when he came back after kuhanin yung hair dryer, baekhyun was already seated sa couch, legs spread wide. he was tapping the comb above his knee, on the area where the basketball shorts he was wearing had pulled up. hawak niya sa isang kamay niya yung ka-partner na sunflower hair tie on gabby’s wrist and the taller man removed it on his person before handing it to baekhyun.

 

sinaksak ni gabby yung hair dryer sa socket closest to the couch before handing it to baekhyun. he sat down sa floor between b’s opened legs and leaned back sa couch. baekhyun turned the dryer on and chanyeol paused the TV kasi ayaw ni b ng maingay while watching his shows. he would rather not watch it at all kung hindi naman siya makaka-concentrate sa panonood. 

 

“hey, b,” sabi ni gabby. “sorry na. don’t be pissed.”

 

naghuff lang si baekhyun while his fingers where continuing to card through gabs' hair. pinapatuyo niya ito and gabby winced because b pulled just a little harder sa hair niya and not in the way that was fun. masakit sa scalp ah. 

 

hindi naman sumagot si baekhyu and gabby just closed his eyes as warm air continued to dry his hair. the comb was going through his curls and the motion started out harshly until gabby let out a hiss of pain, wincing. yung mga ngipin ng comb were digging sa anit niya which was not a pleasant experience, at all. 

 

b’s foot tapped the side of his torso after before the way the comb was tugging on the strands turned gentler. alam ni gabby na it was already an apology.

 

once the hair dryer was off, gabby played b’s soap opera again. one of the main lead was strutting around the mansion in designer clothes which, from what chanyeol had seen, made up 85% of the plot. it was mostly strutting and exchanging sassy lines with the occasional threat of physical harm. this was as bad as day time television could get kahit na it was neither pang-day time kasi nga duh, netflix. but, well, it was bad in way that it probably was everyone’s guilty pleasure.

 

ramdam niya yung pagsection ni baekhyun sa buhok niya into two. soft hands tied one side loosely with the sunflower tie before b started sectioning one side into three. the smaller man had deft fingers and mabilis niyang na-braid yung hair ni gabby until a centimeter or so na lang ng hair ang natitira. 

 

kinapa ni gabs yung braid na nakadikit sa scalp niya, fingers slowly trailing pababa. b was always better with braid that he was. in fact, the other man knew different styles. chanyeol did not even know there were different styles. he thought you would just section the hair and go for it. si b ang nagturo sa kanya and b claimed na he was using gabby’s hair for practice kasi he wanted to be the best tito for his niece. never mind na yung fact na siya lang naman ang only tito ng pamangkin niya.

 

gabby had done a lot of never mind-ing for baekhyun. he was used to it.

 

b continued braiding the other and the silence was calming for gabby. it always was with baekhyun. from even before until now na seniors na sila, the years had only turned the lull between them into something like an old well-worn sweater. it was warm, soft, something na lagi mong sinusuot because it brought back good memories.

 

baekhyun was all that for gabby.

 

once na-tie na ni baekhyun yung sunflower ipit sa kapares na braid, he tapped gabby sa shoulder and said, “done.”

 

tinaas ni b yung legs niya and chanyeol stood up before he plopped down sa tabi ni baekhyun. he considered lying down pero baka masira yung twin braids niya. he settled for pulling baekhyun close to him. hinatak niya yung legs ni baekhyun so they were over his thighs and manhandled b so the other man was leaning most of his body into gabby’s chest. this was both of their favorite position. something na nakasanayan na nila.

 

“b,” sabi ni chanyeol. “babe. baby boy. sweetheart.”

 

baekhyun snorted but chanyeol heard the amusement from the sound. gustong gusto ni baekhyun kapag nilalambing siya ni gabby. gabby was just all to willing to comply. b was his closest friend next to migs and migs (and well, siya rin) would die before they did this to each other. his and migs’ relationship was different. they started off as frenemies actually, when frenemies were still a thing.

 

b, meanwhile, was different. b was… _b_.

 

gabby sighed.

 

“hey, sorry,” sabi niya ulit. it was a petty reason to be pissed off and alam ni gabby na baekhyun was probably, most likely, playing the annoyance to a level para magpa-cute si gabby. 

 

baekhyun relished in gabby’s shame and embarrassment.

 

gabby ran his hands sa tagiliran ni baek before he found that one spot that made b jerk and gaps. heh. b was not the most ticklish person in the world pero for some reason, yung kaisa-isang place na yun sa katawan niya, once matamaan or mahawakan, b would suddenly just flail around. gabby called it his ticklish spot and b called it his weak spot. 

 

“gabby, don’t,” baekhyun warned darkly. of course, hindi naman talaga kikilitiin ni gabs si b. for one, mas may kiliti siya. if this evolved into a full on tickle war, siya ang talo. 

 

“pansinin mo na ko,” gabby said petulantly,

 

“pinapansin naman kita,” baekhyun replied dryly. very deadpan, like parang ayaw niyang pansinin si gabriel.

 

“not that way,” sabi ulit ni gabby. inalis na niya yung kamay niya sa tickle (or weak) spot ni baekhyun and hitched it higher para he could hold b pa rin to his side. the cotton of his shirt was a good kind of familiar against gabby’s bare torso.

 

“gabs, nagjakol ka na,” reply ni b. “you don’t need my attention _that_ way.”

 

“one,” gabby said, trying to fake offense and be funny. “my stamina is better than that and you know it. two—” he paused and pinched baekhyun’s side. “you know what i meant, darling.”

 

“don’t call me darling,” baekhyun grumbled.

 

“okay, dear.”

 

“i’m not your dear,” baekhyun said. rinig na ni gabby yung victory kasi nararamdaman niya na na ngumingiti si baekhyun.

 

“sorry, apple of my eye, icing sa ibabaw ng cupcake ko.”

 

“ano ba, gabs! that’s not even from the same song,” baekhyun complained. isa talaga itong pop culture snob. “it’s honey bunch, sugar plum, gum drops, ice cream scoop, sweetie pie, tapos apple of my eye. icing sa ibabaw ng cupcake ko was from a yeng constantino song.”

 

“of course, my little cabbage,” gabby answered patronizingly. 

 

finally, though, natawa na si baekhyun. it was a win for gabby park—game 7 of the NBA finals, 2-0 on the UEFA Champions League final, the sport of making baekhyun b. byun smile.

 

“ano? ‘di ka na galit? tatawa ka na ulit?” tanong ni gabs.

 

nagnod si baek sa may dibdib ni gabriel and he smiled, too.

 

“yeah,” b said. “hindi na ko galit, borta lord.”

 

natawa si chanyeol gabriel park sa nickname na binigay ni baekhyun before niyang tinapik ito sa side. sa TV screen, the mother was having an affair with her— _son_?

 

“putangina, b, what the fuck?” 

 

“that’s not her real son. that’s his boy toy who was pretending that he was the long lost son for the mana,” baekhyun explained.

 

“oh my god,” gabby said. “that was an amazingly fucked up tv show.”

 

“i know right, my filipino-korean orlando bloom,” b teased.

 

the other man looked up at him with a wide and proud smile. his eyes were in tiny crescents and his mouth was formed into a rectangle that was familiar, and comfortable, and warm. it was the way everything was about the two of them. 

 

gabby closed his eyes briefly before he opened them and on his lips, too, was a smile. he clicked his tongue in amazement and incredulity before he bumped his jaw against the top of baekhyun’s head.

 

“your taste in TV sucks, the one that got away,” gabby said flatly with the hint of teasing lying underneath his every word.

 

baekhyun’s laughter was loud and clear, ringing against the studio apartment amidst the sound of the television show. he sounded like it was the funniest joke he had ever heard.

 

MALUMANAY NA NARRATOR VOICE

_the thing though was that gabby was not joking—and the both of them knew how true that nickname was. true enough that it felt familiar, and comfortable, and warm just like the rest of the things that made up the two of them_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also ako lang ba yung like gabby meeting nanay lumeng pag naka meet ng tao who's older like yung mga 50s up di alam gagawin kasi HUG??? BESO??? MANO??? IMPROMPTU DANCE AND SONG NUMBER????
> 
> anyway, next chapter balik tayo kay bading na walang malay patapos na ang sem nila lmao FLOPS


	9. ligaya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> favorite ba na banda ni jongin miguel kim ang eraserheads? eh si gabby, ano kaya ang favorite niya?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is the next chapter!!

isa lang ang gustong sabihin ni kyungsoo and iyon ay isang napaka tindi, napaka emotional, at napaka lutong na _putangina_.

 

currently ay nasa fifth floor siya ng rizal lib, nakaupo sa one of the couches because he was the amen—and dahil hindi pa bukas ang library, naghihintay na siya. it was finals week, or actually, it was that hell week before the week of actual finals. it was the week kung saan unti-unti niyang nare-realize na he needed to submit shit sa profs niya. 

 

it was around ten in the morning pa lang and kyungsoo was cutting yung isa niyang class because the other two were already cancelled for the week to give them time to “study.” yung icu-cut niya was yung class kung saan naghahabol yung prof ng lessons. kyungsoo was doing good sa class na yun. B/B+ siguro. sure B+ na, rounded up para optimistic. 

 

he could not even listen to sumayaw, sumunod the best of sexbomb girls album kasi that was his happy place and he certainly was not feeling happy. he was not even feeling good kasi tangina, he’s going to die.

 

actually, mas okay nga na mamatay na lang siya. if mamatay siya, he did not need to submit this research paper due in tomorrow. a research paper na halos kalahati pa lang ang nagagawa niya. putangina talaga niya. he was deeply regretting that dear white people netflix marathon he did three nights ago. eh kung sinulat niya ‘tong punyetang paper na 'to instead of watching that (really good and really funny) show, eh ‘di sana wala siya sa library now about to cry and have a mental breakdown.

 

tangina talaga. ang gago ng buhay niya. ang gago ng research paper. and most importantly, ang gago niya kasi bakit!! bakit hindi niya ginawa yung research paper nung may oras pa?

 

naluluha na siyang naghahanap ng sources sa JSTOR and ebscohost and google scholar. nakakailang inom na rin siya ng tubig kasi every time na he would panic, iinom na lang siya ng tubig to help with the impending doom.

 

kyungsoo’s eyes were going cross na sa binabasa niya about sa gender inequality and economic growth sa pakistan at sa sri lanka at wala na siyang maintindihan. putangina nitong paper na ‘to. bakit ba kasi hindi nauso sa academe ang magsulat with a summary? sobrang walang kwenta nung abstract kasi hindi pa rin alam ni kyungsoo ano ang ilalagay niya sa paper niya na ‘to. kasi nga, he was a dumb, stupid, foolish idiot for not doing this paper when he needed to do it. oh my god talaga.

 

ilang minutes lang and he finally—finally!!—added two sentences sa paper niya thanks to one (Fatima, 2013). tangina all that effort, all those twelve pages, for something that was more or less fifty words? 

 

after ng isang journal, of course, inom muna ng tubig and then google, kyungsoo needed a break, okay? he managed to hold off the breakdown and clicked a new tab sa chrome niya. meron talaga siyang iniisip now and maybe that was important, pertinent ito sa mental health niya and sa plan B niya in life, lalo na now na malapit na ang deadline of submission ng research niya. twenty-four hours na lang and kyungsoo would need a new house, a new family, and a new identity. 

 

he typed in, _healthy kidney price black market._

 

thank you, LS wifi kasi ang bilis. alam na agad ni kyungsoo ang sagot. mahal ang kidney sa black market lalo na kung healthy. kyungsoo would drink pero he had never smoked. maganda ang diet niya, medyo matakaw nga lang siya but it’s okay. the people won’t be picky once they needed a kidney. mahal din pala ang liver so kyungsoo took note of that too. pwede na siya magpakalayo-layo with all the money because he needed to!! he needed to kasi he did not do the paper when he needed to do it the most!! ma, i’m sorry, ma in meme speak.

 

suddenly, may isang tumbler na bumaba doon sa table niya.

 

“hoy, kalbo,” sabi ni jongdae. napa tingin si kyungsoo sa best friend niya with reverence kasi nandito na, nandito na si lord para iligtas niya.

 

also, coffee. 

 

dinalan siya ni jongdae ng kape kasi halos wala pa siyang tulog. he was up all night kasi cramming something na due naman mamayang lunch time. tapos na yun and kailangan na lang ng minor editing tapos he could submit it online na. that was the final draft already. yung hard copy pwedeng kahit kailan ipasa this week. of course, ibibigay yun ni kyungsoo sa department on friday, 4:53 PM. the ateneo way is the clutch way—thank you st. ignatius de loyola.

 

umupo si jongdae sa tapat niya because kyungsoo was that asshole na nagho-hoard ng table kahit na isa lang siya. he would scatter his stuff para kunwari he was with people or he was waiting for others kahit na no naman talaga. maybe this was karmic retribution working itself on him pero kasi—ayaw niya talaga ng may strangers sa table niya na makiki-share. mostly dahil nga he tended to cry and all those other embarrassing things. 

 

“anyway, how’s the paper going?” tanong ni jongdae. like an asshole, mukha siyang sobrang fresh. like a flower na nagbl-bloom. parang hindi niya hell week.

 

“what paper?” grumble ni kyungsoo as he pressed the command key and the letter s key. save muna niya para sure. mahirap na baka karma would work her ways tapos ayun—ayun ang sure way for him to finally disappear from the face of quezon city, magpaka-layo layo and change his identity to dyo or whatever. yung one brain cell niya hindi na ata gumagana nagtw-twerk na lang.

 

of course, he needed to tweet that.

 

**Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 8s

my one brain cell trying to get through this week:

[gif of rihanna throwing it back and twerking]

 

after tweeting, kinuha niya yung travel mug na dala ni jongdae and took a whiff of the coffee. it was not hot, kind of warm na lang, and it was exactly how kyungsoo liked his caffeine. warm and sweet, tapos milky. yung tipong 10% coffee na lang though he was sure na this one got an extra shot of espresso para pampagising. 

 

pinapanood lang siya ni jongdae carlito and kyungsoo closed his eyes as he took a whiff of his perfect caffeinated beverage. amazing talaga. very powerful. nagising ang katawan niya kahit na his diwa had long been dead. ha! take that, gabriel marcel. 

 

kyungsoo clicked another research paper about the link of gender inequality to negative economic growth and sighed kasi ang haba. thirty three pages tapos two columns pa. no, thanks. hahanap siya ng iba.

 

“by the way,” sabi ni jongdae andres. “i already messaged my friend and he said na he’d give you the data you needed.”

 

“oh my god. thank you, JD,” sabi niya. yung friend ni jongdae na ‘yun was a kakilala from high school. yung study kasi ni kyungsoo was quantitive din, hindi pwede puro citations lang. kailangan may i-present siya. nothing too major naman, easy lang, but the hard part was completing it by tomorrow dahil kyungsoo. was. cramming. the. paper. all periods necessary for emphasis.

 

“thank you talaga,” jongdae scoffed. he pointed his index finger sa direction ni kyungsoo and wagged it. “akala ko i needed to suck his dick para ibigay niya ‘yan sa ‘kin.”

 

“JD,” kyungsoo whined kasi hindi na kailangan ni kyungsoo ang extra info na iyon. thankful na lang siya na jongdae managed to get the data for him. also, “it’s not like you’d say no to dick sucking.”

 

nagstop si jongdae before he nodded. “true but still.” he shook his head and with a sly smirk, “i told you landiin mo na lang si sir insung. sabihin mo ‘ _professor, please give me an A_.’ tapos give him a lap dance or something.”

 

namula si kyungsoo sa laswa ng tono ni jongdae. “omg, JD,” he said. like, o-m-g. every letter was accounted for. “tangina mo ka, gago. i’m not like that!”

 

“weh…” reply ni jongdae na tumatawa. sometimes, iniisip ni kyungsoo why he fostered this relationship to be what it was today. “kung ayaw mo sa older dick pwede rin naman si junmyeon? send-an mo ng pic ng pwet mo tapos ask him to do your paper. LSE ‘yun, right? mas matagal pa yung pagjajakol niya sa ass pic mo kesa sa pagsusulat niya ng research paper mo.”

 

“putaaaaa,” kyungsoo whisper-screeched. 

 

in this household, no one should dare mention junmyeon kim, his first and last college boyfriend and the only dick he had sucked that jongdae had also sucked. iyon yata ang nagdevelop ng relationship nila from close friends to ultimate ride or die best friends. nung nalaman ni kyungsoo na naka-one night stand ni jongdae si junmyeon once lang. 

 

“maka-puta ka, kalbo, ah,” jongdae accused. 

 

hindi naman bad ang break up ni kyungsoo at ni junmyeon. in fact, it was very amicable. it wasn’t that serious of a relationship, too. kyungsoo had never taken a photo with junmyeon’s family and junmyeon had never taken one with his. it never got around to that point.

 

but still, nakakahiya kaya to talk about past relationships.

 

“please, don’t talk about him,” sabi ni kyungsoo with a glare. tangina.

 

“eh ‘di wag!” jongdae huffed. “why don’t you ask migs kim to help you? si migs kim yung smart ‘di ba? heard na he was topping his management classes while topping people— _magis_. amputa.”

 

alam ni kyungsoo both and of course, his traitorous cheeks had to redden. bakit ba kasi yung bibig ni jongdae napaka dumi. 

 

“why would i even ask miggy’s help?!” kyungsoo asked petulantly. totoo nga naman—why would he ask? prof ba niya si jongin miguel? no naman ah.

 

nagpause si jongdae before he exhaled in one excited breath, “ _ohmygodmiggy_!”

 

“ano?!” kyungsoo snapped kasi hindi niya naintindihan ang sinabi ni jongdae. he only heard the oh and the -yyyyy sound sa dulo. what the fuck, jongdae. maybe his best friend was not as sane as kyungsoo had thought this hell week. baka meron din itong pinagdadaanan like the rest of them. 

 

huminga ng malalim si jongdae and he let out one breath before replying, “i said— _oh. my. god. miggy!_ ” pinahaba na naman niya yung -gi sound so it was more like -giiiii. 

 

nagtaas ng kilay si kyungsoo as he turned to his laptop screen na black na. ugh. because of jongdae’s mouth, ayan tuloy, hindi na niya magawa yung paper niya. mamaya-maya na lang siguro. wala na ang concentration niya. 

 

“why? what’s wrong? i call him miggy minsan,” sabi niya na mataray ng slight. slight lang naman because jongdae did bring him coffee and he did manage to work his way into kyungsoo getting that one last missing data that could help him quite possibly survive this semester without disintegrating. 

 

“oh my god,” sabi ulit ni jongdae. grabe, kyungsoo thought. bothered na bothered na siguro si god up in heaven dahil sa kakatawag ni jongdae sa kanya. sorry, god.“you call him miggy? minsan? explain!!”

 

“what’s there to explain?” kyungsoo shrugged. what _was_ there to explain? he would call migs miggy sometimes. was it a big deal? miggy never told him to stop. 

 

“kyungsoo, tangina mo. you call migs kim miggy!” sabi ni jongdae. “no one calls migs—miggy! no one.”

 

of course, cue pamumula. meron na nga ata talaga blood disorder si kyungsoo kasi his blood always seemed to rush to his face. baka he needed to ask a doctor na. 

 

“i also call him jongin miguel sometimes. like when i call you jongdae francis—or whatever.” wala naman ma-reply si kyungsoo so he said that na lang. defensive, fine. tapos he added pa ang isang very quiet na, “i think i annoyed him into letting me call him miggy? wala na ata siya magawa.”

 

“tangina mo, kyungsoo,” jongdae said in a whisper. kyungsoo had no idea what that tangina meant. “grabe ka. you’re the one with the shaved head pero ako rin ata ang makakalbo sa ‘yo.”

 

another na hindi naintindihan ni kyungsoo. 

 

jongdae looked at his face na confused before he sighed, “i can’t even—gago. i have to go na but…” nagpause ito before smirking. “if you need kahit anong tulong, call migs kim. i think he will help you. parang, like, the song? _gagawin ko ang lahat pati ang thesis mo_.”

 

nagwink pa ito and kyungsoo rolled his eyes.

 

“he’s mabait,” kyungsoo said. “he probably would kung ‘di siya busy though… and wala ka sa tono.”

 

“oh my god,” ulit ang sinabi ni jongdae. sorry ulit, god. pang-ilang tawag na ba ito ni jongdae? “bye na. basta. ‘pag call a friend, ‘wag ako. si migs kim.”

 

hindi gets ni kyungsoo why but jongdae was not going to elaborate kasi umalis na rin siya after saying good luck kay kyungsoo. kyungsoo eyed his screen and yung gdocs niya. fuck past kyungsoo talaga. he was so stupid.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

To: dokyungsoo@obf.ateneo.edu

Fr: minseokokim@gmail.com

 

Subject: Gender Ratio in the Workforce Data

 

Hi, Kyungsoo! It’s Minseok. I’m a friend of Jongdae’s? Not sure if he told you my name but he did give me your e-mail address for the data that you wanted? I attached the files here tapos yung how to credit yung nasa other file. Hope this would help. Good luck sa sem :D

 

Sent from my iPhone.

 

[2003-2015 Gender Ratio in the Workforce.xlsx gdrive link]

[Credit.rtf gdrive link]

 

by lunch time, nakahinga na si kyungsoo at the sight of the e-mail from the aforementioned minseok kim. ano yung o? kyungsoo wondered briefly. he downloaded yung spreadsheet muna and watched in horror at the file size. ang laki. ang laki laki. mahilig si kyungsoo sa malaki pero ang laki naman ata nito. ang laki laki talaga ng file size. grabe.

 

thank you ulit to LS wifi kasi nadownload niya ng mabilis. tangina. with shaking fingers dahil sa takot at kaba, he clicked the file and—

 

nag-open na. nalula si kyungsoo sa dami. he did not even know where to start. oh my god. he had to shape this data pa kasi his compiled data were all in long format tapos ito wide. gusto na lang niya tumalon from rizal lib kasi what the fuck. aabot ba siya bukas? makakatulog pa ba siya? makakakain? makakaligo? mabubuhay?

 

gugustuhin pa ba niya?

 

nararamdaman na ni kyungsoo yung panic that was budding in his chest so uminom ulit siya ng tubig. when in doubt, tubig. huminga siya ng malalim. he wiped the tears na nagpaparamdam na sa mata niya as he sniffled. kyungsoo huddled deep sa turtleneck sweater niya kasi the warmth it provided was a security blanket that made him feel like everything was right and he was not _doomed_.

 

hindi siya pwedeng umiyak now.

 

he went to the class group and muntik na ulit siyang magbreakdown kasi akala niya the facebook post nung isa niyang classmate about an illegal copy of stata was already deleted. hindi pa niya yun nado-download kasi ngayon pa lang naman siya gagawa, di ba? hindi kasi siya advanced mag-isip kasi bobo siya! bobo si kyungsoo. 

 

nagsniffle na ulit siya. napansin niya na ang daming notifications sa messages niya pero this was the most urgent matter. watching medical dramas had taught him the art of triage, and as of now, ito ang pinaka important. in medical terms, nag-aagaw buhay na. 50/50.

 

he downloaded the stata file and he sighed when it finished. syempre, he clicked the zip file and expanded it. saved to desktop para kitang kita agad ni kyungsoo ang impending MISTAKE niya sa buhay. he clicked the folder with trepidation and picked the one for macOS. huminga muna siya ng malalim because this was it na, he had to install stata, shape his extra data into long format, make sense of the results, and then finally write the remaining part of his paper. kaya niya ‘to. clutch! he would just wait for the program to install, leave his things dito sa table, grab lunch, and then—

 

oh my god.

 

STATA WAS NOT INSTALLING.

 

putangina.

 

kyungsoo saw his entire life flash before his eyes as his facebook messenger notifications continued flashing. he tried looking for the rich text file with the instructions on how to install sa mac and found it naman.

 

he followed it to the T. or more accurately, he followed until step 3 pero hanggang doon lang siya kasi saint ignatius de loyola, HINDI SIYA NAG-IINSTALL.

 

kyungsoo took a deep breath kahit na his chest was so tight. ang sakit nito sa dede niya. ang sakit sa puso, sa pwet. his eyes were already feeling hot and he could feel his throat becoming tight.

 

another calming breath and he opened a new tab. he typed doon sa search/url bar.

 

_PIRATED STATA NOT INSTALLING ON MAC_

 

he clicked yung first link and read through pero wala siyang nakuha. he tried the other links and lahat sila, ang sinasabi was either his macOS was the wrong operating system or the file was corrupted talaga.

 

isang hinga pa ulit pero ang init init na talaga ng mata ni kyungsoo. he bit his lip in an effort to stop himself from whimpering. oh my god. ang dami pa niyang gagawin. he hadn’t eaten lunch tapos he needed to shape the data and then find sources and the write the paper. he did not even know how to use stata so he had to google that shit too. maybe watch youtube videos kasi tangina niya. tangina, past kyungsoo, you should have done this research paper way before. ang daming time na nasayang.

 

he tried installing the program again pero it was an error na naman. puta. fuck. ano na. what would kyungsoo do? maybe he could pretend that he was in the hospital? maybe he should just take jongdae’s advice and seduce professor insung jo, ph.d. for a passing grade. he certainly would kung ibig sabihin papasa siya. he thought of scheduling a consultation tapos magbooty shorts kaya siya. baka bigyan siya ng extension ni sir insung.

 

inulit ulit niya. and inulit ulit and then he went and searched for it on google again.

 

_WHY IS STATA NOT INSTALLING_

 

hindi na magawa i-off ni kyungsoo yung caps lock. he was screaming inside. he wanted to scream externally too pero nasa library pa rin siya. he repeatedly tried installing stata pero wala. ilang tries na, wala pa talaga.

 

iniwan muna niya yun and then opened the excel file. he looked at how big the data set were and wondered how long he would have to shape this. from year 2003 to year 2015, pwede bang wag na lang? pwede bang no na lang? was it too late to drop out and find a sugar daddy?

 

nakatingin lang si kyungsoo sa screen niya habang yung dibdib niya, ang sikip sikip na. ang luwag naman ng turtleneck niya pero bakit ang hirap huminga? he pulled at the neckline as if trying to loosen the knit around his neck. baka naman masikip talaga. maybe he gained weight sa leeg niya or something. ang tight ng chest niya and kyungsoo just—

 

his phone suddenly vibrated with an incoming call from contact _migs kim_.

 

kyungsoo inhaled a shaky breath and with shaking fingers na rin, he took his phone and swiped to accept his call. paglagay niya sa tenga niya nito, jongin miguel’s cold voice was the one that greeted him.

 

“kyungsoo, fuck,” migs said. “where’s your part? sabi mo you’re done na ah. gabby was waiting for it so he could do the final revisions—” hindi na narinig ni kyungsoo ‘yung ibang sinasabi ni migs kasi naalala niya na meron pa nga pala siyang part for history. 

 

it was almost done. citations na lang ang kulang. it was due today at 5PM sa history department and gabby was the one in charge of the final edit tapos printing and submitting.

 

“oh my god,” he said. ayan na. ang init init na ng mata niya. parang lahat nagcrash down kay kyungsoo. how did it get to this point? puta siya talaga eh. “oh my god, migs.”

 

“what!” balik ni jongin sharply.

 

that was probably the last straw and kyungsoo sniffled before everything broke out of him. parang may tali na nakaikot sa dibdib niya na sobrang sikip tapos bigla itong naputol. the tears started flowing first before he made little gasping sounds.

 

“mi-migs,” he hiccuped. “gago. i’m so-sorry. it’s d-done nam-naman. cita-citatio-tations na lang ang k-kulang.”

 

may nagpause sa kabilang line before there was a slow, “soo?”

 

hindi na nakasagot si kyungsoo kasi nakakainis naman. he was crying now. hindi siya pwedeng umiyak kasi mahirap magtype na blurry ang nakikita mo. he removed his glasses and tried to wipe his tears gamit yung panyo na dala niya pero hindi yun humihinto. mas lalo siyang naiyak at the thought kasi grabe naman, kahit na pag-iyak wala siyang oras? he could not even afford to cry kasi sayang sa time niya _what the fuck_ ‘di ba?

 

“soo?” the voice was more urgent this time. “are you okay? tangina. where you?

 

“fi-fifth,” sabi niya before he just hiccuped. ayaw tumigil ng luha niya and he just put the phone down sa table tapos umiyak na lang siya. he bent his head down as tears fell from his eyes. this was all his fault. stata was not installing tapos he had to shape the data and then run it with stata pa—that was not installing!!! he also had to make sense of the results nito. 

 

all before tomorrow, kasi bukas na nga ang due nito aka major paper that was 40% of his grade. kung hindi siya maka-submit, kahit anong perfect and pabida niya sa class, F pa rin siya sa course. bagsak pa rin siya. hindi pa rin siya ga-graduate. baka hindi na rin siya magka-medal which is fucking amazing on top of everything.

 

iniyak lang ni kyungsoo lahat and hindi niya alam kung ilang minuto ba ang nakalipas before he felt someone nudge sa shoulder niya. napatingin siya and all he saw was miggy looking down at him with a worried and sweaty face. did he run all the way up sa fifth floor?

 

“m-miggy,” sabi ni kyungsoo tapos ayun, break down ulit.

 

inusog siya ni jongin tapos he sat down beside kyungsoo, putting his backpack down on top of the table. he pulled the hoodie sa waist niya tapos yung hood, he put it over kyungsoo’s shaved head. he angled his body and kyungsoo assumed that jongin was trying to hide him doon sa mga students sa buong fifth floor kasi the last thing that kyungsoo needed right now on top of all this shit was to be seen and be embarrassed.

 

“shh,” sabi ni jongin miguel. “what’s wrong?”

 

“the paper—” nagpause si kyungsoo kasi he had to hiccup. sobrang fresh ng tears niya and migs reached for his panyo to wipe his face. that was useless though kasi tuloy ang luha ni kyungsoo. hindi niya rin alam why he was crying but every time he would remember what he had to do, and still had not yet done, and could not do, all he wanted was to cry and curl up.

 

“what paper?” sabi ni migs in a calm manner. he didn’t look angry now. 

 

“histo,” he said. hinga ulit pero iyak na naman. “i’m done. b-but i have to ci-cite. and sta-stata. di ko ma-install. i’m. _oh my god, miggy_.”

 

and ayun, iyak na naman siya.

 

miggy just continued to hush him before hinila niya si kyungsoo to rest on his chest. he could hear migs pressing something sa laptop ni kyungsoo before he asked, “yung part mo for histo was ito?”

 

kyungsoo sneaked a glance and wiped his face with his sweater sleeve. useless pa rin kasi he was still crying, his chest was tight as well. nakita niya na naka-open yung file of his part of discussion sa history. tapos na ito aside from the fact that he just had to cite properly tapos fix his sources into APA format. 

 

he nodded and then, to his surprise, miggy started typing and scrolling sa laptop ni kyungsoo.

 

“migs,” he said, broken. naghitch yung boses siya sa one syllable and migs just shrugged.

 

“it’s fine. ako na,” he replied. ang bilis magtype ni migs and kyungsoo felt another onslaught of tears kasi why was migs doing this? for the grade ba kasi group mates sila?

 

jongin miguel reached his hand to kyungsoo’s hood covered head and he pulled kyungsoo back to his chest, patting the top of his head, all without stopping himself from typing.

 

“cry it out, soo,” sabi ni migs. “and then when you feel better, you can continue.”

 

ramdam ni kyungsoo yung soft words ni miggy and yung gentle way of pagsabi niya ng _soo._ he stroked kyungsoo’s head for a moment while the sounds of typing continued. this time, slower kasi one hand lang. 

 

kyungsoo let himself cry. yung crying na may sounds, full on sobbing. he really regretted not doing everything and cramming it to the last minute and this was definitely a lesson learned. a few moments passed and migs stopped typing and then he softly said, “hey, soo. i’m done. i’ll put it sa gdocs natin ah. then tell gabs to finish everything up.”

 

all he did was nod as the tears continued to stream sa mukha niya. the tightness in his chest was slowly dissipating pero nandoon pa rin.

 

migs patted his head ulit and another mahina na question, “what about the stata thing?”

 

kyungsoo lifted his head from the taller man’s chest and found na nakatingin pa rin si migs sa kanya with a soft smile. at least, he did not look annoyed.

 

“stata?” kyungsoo asked. tapos na yung history project so bakit nandito pa rin si migs?

 

“yeah. sabi mo it wasn’t working on your macbook.” kinuha ni migs yung pro niya from his bag and opened it sa tabi ng smaller air ni kyungsoo. he airdropped the pirated stata file sa laptop niya and opened the folder once it was transferred.

 

“let’s try if mag-install.”

 

migs clicked the install software and kyungsoo waited with baited breath as—

 

“miggy, oh my god!” kyungsoo gasped. nag-i-install siya sa macbook ni migs. nakita ata ni kyungsoo yung liwanag at the sight of the thin bar showing the installing progress.

 

“that’s good,” sabi ni miggy with a sigh. “what else do you need to do?”

 

“shape the data,” kyungsoo answered. he blindly reached for his laptop kasi wala na siyang salamin. he heard migs laugh tapos inabot yung panyo sa kanya. kyungsoo wiped his tears. his chest still hurt and his eyes were warm pero he was marginally better after crying it all out. 

 

miggy put the eyeglasses on his face and kyungsoo pushed it up the bridge of his nose. he opened the large file and the taller man leaned it to see the contents.

 

“hey,” sabi ni migs. “what’s your paper all about?”

 

“how gender equality in the workforce could help growth,” replied ni kyungsoo. naghihitch pa rin ang boses niya but at least, he could speak in full sentences already. he eyed the spreadsheet and started separating the rows and columns.

 

“yeah?” jongin said as he started typing on his own laptop. pagtingin ni kyungsoo, he was accessing JSTOR na rin. “i remember reading this research from a uni in barcelona. parang experiment siya about how women made more responsible decisions than men. also, they were less corrupt apparently.”

 

kyungsoo turned to miggy kasi—what?

 

“miggy, what?” he asked. the tears were almost gone and he marginally felt better kahit na merong hikbi and sniffles pa rin. 

 

“uh…” jongin paused and he looked at kyungsoo with an equally confused expression. “‘di ba growth in equally gendered places so if we can find more sources about women—”

 

“i got that,” sabi ni kyungsoo. also WE daw sabi ni miggy?! “i’m so thankful na you helped me with histo and stata pero what are you—” nagtrail off siya kasi nagta-type si migs sa search bar ng jstor ng ‘women participation gender gap growth’ dito.

 

“helping you?” sabi nito simply. he turned his eyes away from kyungsoo, naka train lang as he clicked articles into new tabs, and added, “so you don’t cry again.”

 

_tangina naman_ , kyungsoo thought.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

natapos sila sa bo’s at 2 in the morning. nagstretch si kyungsoo and gave jongin miguel a smile.

 

“miggy, thank you so much,” he said with all the sincerity that he could muster. he gave the other man a big smile kasi sobrang saya niya. as in. he felt like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. he still hated himself for his irresponsibility but one step at a time, after ng lahat that was when he would scold himself for being a shitty student.

 

kasama niya pa rin si migs until now. nagsara na yung library, nakalipat na sila ng iba’t ibang locations pero here they still were, together. migs lent him his laptop and even helped him find sources. he read through the articles and gave kyungsoo the ones he could use, the parts he could use. parang naging pair work yung other half ng paper niya for this class.

 

katabi niya si migs now and the other male just bumped his shoulder against his, and said, “next time, don’t cram kung hindi mo kayang clutch.”

 

“yup. never gonna do that again,” sabi ni kyungsoo.

 

migs shook his head tapos he clicked his tongue jokingly. he closed his laptop before he reached over and tweaked kyungsoo’s nose playfully.

 

“that’s what they all say, babe,” miggy laughed as he continued to pinch kyungsoo’s nose. 

 

hindi alam ni kyungsoo kung dahil ba ito sa coffee or was it because of the person he was with pero at that moment, his heart was beating fast as if it was trying to chase something.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_and jongin miguel? all that could be said about him was this: para sa isang tao na gising pa at two in the morning, who still had to drive back home, at tumulong gumawa ng paper na hindi naman kanya, masyadong mukhang maligaya si miggy_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

the sem was officially over! kyungsoo made it out alive the last first semester of his undergrad ever with one major meltdown and two and a half minor cry fests. he did not have anything planned for the break but JD was buzzing around with an idea of going to batanes. kailangan munang i-butter up ni kyungsoo yung parents niya which meant being a good son _and_ a cute son. balita niya maganda sa batanes kahit na malamig. 

 

kasalukuyan siyang nasa bed, kakapaligo lang but was still too lazy to put anything on aside from his underwear. being kalbo had its perks kasi hindi na niya kailangan magtuyo ng buhok—dahil walang buhok to dry—and he could lie down agad sa kama niya. 

 

nakadapa siya while half watching the stanford prison experiment on netflix (creepy but good, but also, _creepy_ ) when his macbook got a message from gabby park.

 

**gabby** : hey kyungsoooooooo [hand waving emoji]

 

medyo nagtataka si kyungsoo kasi sobrang out of the blue ng message ni gabby and the fact na merong emoji. he was instantly on guard dahil it was either merong kailangan si gabby or meron kailangan si gabby _and_ si migs.

 

**kyungsoo** : wassup gabs?

 

of course, kyungsoo’s nosy ass had to be satisfied. it’s the first day of the sem break so anong kailangan ni gabby sa kanya? 

 

**gabby** : so i was talking w my parents 

**gabby** : and apparently they have GCs sa fontana 

**gabby** : i mean fontana sucks already

**gabby** : but it's free ;))))

 

**kyungsoo** : yes and…..

 

hindi muna siya nag-assume kahit na he sort of figured out where gabby was going with this. hinintay niya muna yung explicit invite kasi baka mapahiya na naman siya. baka naman he was just telling him kasi he was going to ask a favor ganon.

 

**gabby** : leggo clark

**gabby** : we can overnight

**gabby** : ano g?

 

kyungsoo debated what to say. ayaw naman niyang maging awkward with gabby. also, why was gabby inviting him and not—

 

**kyungsoo** : us 2 lang??

 

bago pa makareply si gabby sa kanya, meron another imessage from—

 

**migs** : hey soo g ka fontana with gabs?

 

ah, he thought. so hindi lang silang dalawa ni gabby. that was better. mas okay yun. hindi siya parang out of town with boyfriend so it’s not awkward. puta, kyungsoo, bakit ka kasi nag-assume na ikaw lang ang inaaya?

 

he replied muna kay gabby kasi siya ang unang nagtext and found na gabby already had an answer.

 

**gabby** : nah i asked migs also

**gabby** : and b pero he’s bawal

 

**kyungsoo** : yea migs texted me alreads

**kyungsoo** : i’ll ask my parents about it [stressed emoji]

**kyungsoo** : but i’m g

 

after nun, he switched to his messages with migs and replied na rin.

 

**kyungsoo** : g! but i have to ask the parentals first

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nag-align siguro lahat ng stars sa universe dahil pumayag ang parents ni kyungsoo. here he was, sa sala nila with his overnight backpack, waiting for migs and gabby to pick him up. isang car lang kasi ang dadalin nila because carbon emissions and gas prices _duh_. 

 

nanay lumeng was buzzing around him habang nagwawalis siya ng floor. wala namang alikabok or dirt so hindi alam ni kyungsoo anong winawalis ni nanay.

 

“nanay,” sabi niya confused. “ang linis na ng floor.”

 

nagstop si nanay lumeng at natawa ito. she went straight to kyungsoo at umupo. she grabbed kyungsoo’s backpack and unzipped it. hinayaan lang ni kyungsoo si nanay lumeng na i-check na yes, he had enough clothes. 

 

“sino ba kasi kasama mo, kyongie?” tanong ni nanay lumeng. “sure ka bang mababait yun? sumama na kayo ako?”

 

grabe. napagroan si kyungsoo kay nanay lumeng. strict na nga ang parents niya pati ba naman si nanay? there was no hope na talaga for him.

 

“nanay,” he sighed. “i’m going with migs and gabby. one night lang naman and you’ve met them na, ‘di ba?”

 

hindi gets ni kyungsoo bakit ang liwanag ng ngiti ni nanay lumeng. “si migs?” sabi nito. “and si gabby?" yung pagkakasabi ni nanay, gabbeh—super cute.

 

“yes, nanay,” he nodded. “one night lang naman.”

 

“hindi mo kasama si jungde?” tanong ulit ni nanay. jungde's jongdae of course pero nasanay na si nanay lumeng na jungde ang itawag dito. usually kasi, sa lahat ng overnight trips ni kyungsoo with friends, kasama ang best friend niya dahil sila sila lang din naman sa friend circle na yun ang nagkakayayaan. 

 

“no,” iling niya. “he’s not invited.”

 

“ay! not invited si jungde?” parang may intriga sa boses ni nanay though kyungsoo figured na old people really were maintriga. nanay lumeng and kyungsoo’s grandparents always talked like may chismis. 

 

“hindi naman siya with migs and gabby,” kyungsoo answered. before pa makasagot si nanay lumeng, merong nagdoorbell and kyungsoo stood up.

 

si nanay lumeng, tumayo rin. 

 

nilakad siya nito hanggang gate and she opened the narrow part so kyungsoo could get out. laking gulat ni kyungsoo when nanay lumeng went with him. nakita niya si migs and agad itong binati.

 

“migs!” sabi ni nanay lumeng. napansin niyang pababa rin si gabby and medyo confused si kyungsoo kasi bakit bumaba pa silang dalawa? “at si gabby din!”

 

“hello, nanay,” sabi ni migs and nagnod lang si gabby before saying hello also. 

 

hawak hawak niya yung backpack ni kyungsoo kasi ayaw niya itong i-let go. nakatayo lang si kyungsoo sa may gate nila, feeling kindergarten. hindi naman ganito si nanay lumeng pag si _jungde_ ang sumusundo sa kanya so he figured na she was just worried dahil first outing ni kyungsoo ito with migs and gabby. 

 

puta parang field trip lang nung pre-school siya na naka-convoy yung buong angkan nila kasi walang parents na kasama, chaperones lang. sana hindi siya sundan ng papa niya and ni nanay lumeng. 

 

“migs, ikaw,” sabi ni nanay lumeng bigla. “ingatan mo alaga ko ah. ayaw ni kyongie ng oily na pagkain kaya i-tissue mo muna. madali ma-sunburn balat kaya sunblock.” tumingin siya kay gabby rin. “wag kayong iinom ng marami, mga batang ‘to nung pana—”

 

“nanay, sige na. we’re leaving na. go inside,” kyungsoo said na nahihiya. si nanay lumeng naman eh! 

 

“hay, nako, kyongie. umuwi ka bukas ah. i-text mo ko.” nanay lumeng patted her pocket kung nasaan ang phone niya na gift ng parents nito sa kanya. active si nanay sa social media, of course.

 

“yes, nanay.” grabe. sure si kyungsoo na by the time nasa expressway na sila, he would get messages from nanay lumeng _and_ his grandparents dahil nanay was their sources of everything kyungsoo. now na may sarili ng buhay ang kuya niya, everyone in his family was hell-bent on trying to drive him insane.

 

thankfully, he finally managed to slip into chanyeol gabriel’s tall as fuck car. he climbed sa backseat with his things. si gabby ang magda-drive tapos si migs ang nasa front seat. 

 

lumingon si gabby sa kanya and smiled, “let’s go?”

 

nagnod si kyungsoo, beaming, as he replied, “yeah!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

si gabby lang yung nagdrive from quezon city to clark. wala naman silang stopover na needed kasi it was two hours at most siguro. they got there around afternoon and the moment bumukas ang door—

 

“two beds?” sabi ni kyungsoo with a shocked, high pitched _i can’t believe this is happening to me_ na voice.

 

“oh shit,” sabi ni gabby. “we can get another room? sorry. my mom just gave me the GCs and shit.”

 

“no, it’s fine,” sabi ni kyungsoo. an idea formed in his head. “you and migs can share?”

 

of course, he would not DARE to assume na siya ang makikihati ng bed. migs and gabby were best friends. he would do the same if he’s with jongdae and then may isa na like outsider. kasi that’s what he kind of was naman, outsider. 

 

nagkatinginan si migs and si gabby and kyungsoo could not read their expressions. oh fuck. nag-assume na naman ba siya. okay. hindi naman siguro siya isasama ni migs and gabby if they did not want him to tag along di ba? unless that was just a kind offer and—okay. stop. kyungsoo, you’re overthinking again.

 

“unless you want me to book a room for myself?” kyungsoo asked with a hesitant tone. dala naman niya credit card niya so okay lang na he would book a room. he’s not sure how much the rates were pero it could not be that bad. he’d get the cheapest na lang. 

 

“no!” miggy yelped just as gabby said, “we’ll share!”

 

kyungsoo breathed in relief. at least, he’s wanted here.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nakahiga pa rin sila sa bed. si kyungsoo nasa solo niya na kama while si migs at gabby ay nasa bed nila. nasa bandang edge sila both and may space between them. pwede pang tumabi si kyungsoo sa gitna nila if he wanted. they both looked ticked off and kyungsoo was, like, trying to figure out what was their deal.

 

“gabs, miggy,” sabi niya. sabay tumingin yung dalawa, parang twins lang. “baka mahulog kayo from the bed ang layo niyo eh.”

 

gabby gave him an unimpressed stare and migs just sighed resigned tapos umusog ng konti. gabs did the same too pero may space pa rin for kyungsoo in the middle. the bed was not the big but it could probably comfortably fit migs and gabby despite them being tall. at least, hindi lampas yung paa nila sa kama.

 

natawa si kyungsoo sa dalawa and he decided to be cheeky, “you two have never?” he made a hand gesture, yung tips ng index fingers niya pinagbangga niya ng mga three or four times.

 

a look of horror crossed both migs and gabby’s faces.

 

“what the fuck, no!” sabi ni migs. 

 

“fucking kadire,” sabi ni gabby.

 

“wow, really?” sabi ni kyungsoo.

 

“nope. no. never,” sabi ni miggy. “hindi kami pwede ni gabby. that’s, like, incest.”

 

nagmake ng face si kyungsoo.

 

“i mean, you’re best friends—not even, like, a date or two?”

 

“oh my god, kyungsoo. PLEASE,” sabi ni gabs. “i don’t date.”

 

tumaas kilay ni kyungsoo tapos natawa bigla si miggy.

 

“liar, _gago_ ,” he said. tumingin ito ng pabiro kay kyungsoo and said, “he dated baekhyun byun. b?”

 

napa-gasp si kyungsoo and he turned his wild eyes to chanyeol.

 

“you said na you’re not boyfriends.”

 

“they were never boyfriends,” sabi ni miggy with a laugh. “they’re just fubus. but they dated before.”

 

naghuff si gabby as kyungsoo still stared at him with blinking eyes.

 

chanyeol gabriel shoved jongin and kicked him at the shin before gruffly saying, “fuck you, migs. tangina, daldal pa.”

 

kyungsoo eyed the tallest male weirdly until chanyeol just stood up and took his shirt off. kyungsoo’s eyes widened ulit but for a different reason. oh my god. bakit may hubaran na? gabby went to his bag and rooted around inside before he pulled a pair of shorts.

 

“they have a pool,” sabi niya simply. his eyes were dark and his lips were pressed in a tight line. “wanna swim? or maggo-gossip na lang tayo here like old ladies?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

first thing na naisip ni kyungsoo nung nasa pool na sila was: _nakakahiya naman maghubad ng t-shirt_.

 

second thing na naisip niya was: _oh my god. mas nakakahiya maghubad ng t-shirt kung katabi niya si miggy at si gabs_. 

 

nauna na nagtanggal si gabby ng shirt and he didn’t really say anything. tinanggal niya yung yellow muscle tee na suot niya tapos he tossed it doon sa reclining chair. it was already kind of dark pero kita ni kyungsoo yung magbunch ng muscles ni gabby tapos yung thickness niya. medyo nainggit siya cos gabby’s thick and firm pero siya thick and soft.

 

gabby jumped into the pool and walang any any, he started swimming through the length of it. para siyang si michael phelps except mahaba ang hair.

 

“hey, let’s go,” sabi ni miggy. “gabby’s just acting like an asshole kasi asar siya.” migs pulled his own tee off and kung ano ang kinakapal ni gabby, yun naman ang kinanipis ng pasensya ni kyungsoo para sa sight na nakita niya kasi oh my god.

 

migs was defined all over. eight pack abs and yung pecs niya na sobrang built. hindi alam ni kyungsoo if maiinggit siya or SOMETHING ELSE that he would rather not name kasi oh my god. oh my god talaga. yung mga brain cell na natira post-finals, naubos na yata ng tuluyan.

 

“soo?” tanong ni migs. hindi narealize ni kyungsoo na mukha na pala siyang boo boo the fool. the f. in kyungsoo f. do stood for fucking fool. mabilis niyang tinanggal yung damit niya and of course, tinakpan niya yung soft tummy niya gamit yung kamay niya kahit halata pa rin naman na wala siyang BORTA bod like the two men he’s with.

 

next time talaga, makikipag-outing na lang siya sa mga ka-body type niya.

 

natawa si migs and joked, “ang taba naman. squishy.” buti na lang nakaiwas si kyungsoo dahil migs’ finger was about to poke his soft stomach. tinakpan niya ulit ito and tried to move away. nakasunod lang si migs as if thereatening na dadakutin niya ang slight body fat ni kyungsoo.

 

not everyone had gym memberships, okay!! not everyone wanted them.

 

“miggy naman eh,” he whined kasi naka abang pa rin si migs. 

 

“why?” tanong nito. “wala naman ako sinasabi ah. it’s cute and shit.”

 

namula si kyungsoo kasi naman!! kasi naman he got it. mataba siya. it’s not like he was insecure or anything with his softness kasi no. but coming from migs, with his smirk and his eight pack abs and his V cut sa may hips na nagdi-disappear into the bands of his swim shorts—

 

pero cute. cute! oh my god.

 

“shut up, gago,” sabi na lang niya before he ran sa edge ng pool (kahit na bawal, safety first!) and then jumped into the waters.

 

tawa lang ng tawa si miggy and kyungsoo buried his entire body sa tubig, hoping na lumamig yung mukha niyang napakainit.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

the three of them were lounging sa pool and kyungsoo was happily wading in the water, 6 ft deep kasi he knew how to swim kahit na hindi siya six foot tall. 

 

pa-casual casual na swim like siya, babad babad when bigla na lang niyang na-feel na someone took hold of the side of his torso. isang madiin and very powerful na pisil sa love handles niya.

 

“fuck,” sabi niya before he turned around to see gabby park behind him with a playful smile. “oh my god, gabby. tangina mo.”

 

natawang malakas si gabby and he swum around kyungsoo lazily para maging face to face sila.

 

kyungsoo looked at gabby’s playful smile and the way his long hair was pushed back. kung ano and kinalbo ni kyungsoo, yun ang hinaba ng hair ni gabs. kyungsoo wouldn’t be able to put up with hair like that—it looked like it was too much trouble.

 

“gabs,” kyungsoo said softly. “sorry about doon sa kanina. i don’t mean to be nosy and shit.”

 

“it’s fine,” gabs shrugged. he didn’t say anything any more but he looked like he kind of wanted to. 

 

“you can make kwento…” kyungsoo trailed off just because he thought it was polite to give gabby the opening.

 

gabby snorted and he wrapped kyungsoo in his arms and pressed his back sa chest niya. kyungsoo almost screamed kasi akala niya gabby would dip his head sa water. instead, he just started violently rubbing his shaved head.

 

“stop!” he said in between his giggles. “gabby—stop!”

 

gabby chuckled but he did let kyungsoo’s poor, abused bald head go. “you’re so nosy,” he said, pero wala naman heat or anything. 

 

kyungsoo pouted. “just wondering.”

 

“nothing left to wonder, kalbs,” sabi ni gabby. he placed his chin sa may shoulder ni kyungsoo while he let himself float away.

 

“migs was right,” he nodded to the direction of migs who was doing laps sa pool. “i dated b for a few months and then asked to be exclusive. he shot me down and we became fubus.”

 

nanlaki ang mata ni kyungsoo. gabby park?! gabby park!? he never expected gabby to have that kind of story with him. he’d always assumed na he was like migs, floating in and out of bedrooms. 

 

“he rejected you?” he said with a small voice. gabs was floating them backwards, kind off. kyungsoo was still pressed in front of him. medyo he moved his head to the side so he could look at gabby’s contemplative expression.

 

“yep,” he said with a laugh. “said i wasn’t what he was looking for. sort of. i can’t remember his exact words.”

 

“really?” he asked softly. “but you really liked him?”

 

gabby nodded, “that time, yeah. you know how i am naman, right?” kyungsoo nodded and gabby sighed. “my fault din. i guess i get easily attached.”

 

for some reason, nalungkot si kyungsoo for gabby kasi gabby was really kind and he was thoughtful also. he was funny and it’s not like kyungsoo was blind, gabby’s handsome, overall appealing and charming. b would be stupid to reject gabby.

 

he turned around and held gabby’s face in both his hands. 

 

“gabs,” kyungsoo said seriously. they were in the water still and it was rocking the both of them slightly. “anyone would be lucky to be your boyfriend.”

 

natawa si gabriel but he did not move away or anything. 

 

“anyone?” he asked. tapos with a cheeky grin, he added, “pati ikaw?”

 

nagulat si kyungsoo and he was about to move his hands away but gabby stopped them and held it over his face still. kyungsoo turned red when gabby leaned closer. kyungsoo tried to move his face away but he could only to so much with gabby holding his wrists and pressing down the back of his hands.

 

“what are you saying?” kyungsoo said nervously.

 

“nothing,” sabi ni gabby with a tiny, mysterious smile, before he swam away from kyungsoo. kyungsoo was left there wondering if gabby meant anything with his  _nothing_.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_it didn’t sound like nothing_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot finally thickens puta NEXT CHAPTER, PASOK B!!


	10. eureka moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baekhyun had a theory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're almost to the end!!

 

 

nakauwi na si baekhyun sa bahay nila sa south pero bakit parang hindi pa rin niya ma-shake off ang vibes ng buong north of metro manila? mas malapit na siya sa town ngayon pero parang nasa trinoma pa rin siya. 

 

in short, nandito si sehun sa room niya, sa bahay niya sa BF. it just so happened that sehun owned a car and he was the type who was not lazy enough to make the drive to the other side of metro manila. sehun was literally that friend who would drive you anywhere as long as you paid gas or treat him something.

 

normally, that would be a good thing pero not right now. paakyat si b sa room niya to bring the tubs of sour cream and cheese flavored fries straight from potato corner that was bought pa by his mom and yung tinimpla nitong nestea iced tea honey lemon flavor.

 

very loved kasi sehun ng buong pamilya ni baekhyun so every time na he was visiting, sehun would get the byun family grand treatment. si sehun naman, of course, feel na feel niya ito so he would visit before lunch pa lang kasi he claimed na ang crispy bagnet kare-kare with bagoong ng dad ni baekhyun ang the best crispy bagnet kare-kare in the world. his dad ate it up naman so every time na dadating si sehun, ito ang ulam sa house.

 

baekhyun did not like kare-kare, okay.

 

so anyway, he was going up to his room where sehun was in, hinihintay yung favorite fries niya na dala ni baekhyun right now. sehun was just sitting pretty in front of the TV na nakasaksak sa netflix ni baekhyun because everyone always watched netflix. seriously. baekhyun wondered for a moment kung anong gagawin niya in life kung walang netflix.

 

“sehun!" he called out kasi he was holding the tray. ang swerte naman ni sehun as the anak ng diyos if simpleng pag-open lang ng door hindi pa niya gagawin 'di ba?

 

buti na lang binuksan ni sehun ang door and baekhyun went inside his bedroom. binaba niya yung glasses of iced tea doon sa side table and pinatong na lang niya yung tubs of fries sa taas ng bed. sehun was leaning sa headboard, with pillows propping his back up. the TV was showing the netflix page for dear white people.

 

kyungsoo was tweeting about it kasi and b was curious. he managed to convince sehun to watch it with him. he sat down beside sehun sa bed and kinuha na nila yung fries nila to share. they were mindlessly watching the show lang, or as mindless as one could watch a show such as this one.

 

sehun would occasionally whistle and b would wince din every time one of the characters made a point, or proved their point. while it was not close to their experience, the both of them felt some of the shit that the characters were experiencing. in meme speak, several points were made.

 

halfway through their potato corner binge, sehun turned to b and said, “where did you even find this?” sabi niya. b normally hated it when people would interrupt his tv show pero parang hindi niya type itong dear white people. it hit too close to home and b was kind of sensitive who preferred his tv show to be mind numbing, yung tipong hindi siya mag-iisip.

 

he mumbled his answer and sehun glared at him as he ate three sour cream flavored fries and two cheese in one go. kadire. ang laki ng bibig ni sehun, b thought.

 

“sorry?” sabi ni sehun while chewing because he literally had no manners around b. 

 

“i said,” he sighed and emphasized. “i saw kyungsoo tweeting about watching this show and gabby liked the tweet so you know…”

 

nagshrug siya as if feigning nonchalance. sehun’s eyes rolled to back of his skull and he clicked his tongue.

 

“baekhyun b. byun, oh my god ka,” sehun said with a sad shake of his head. baekhyun had no idea who a head shake could be sad but sehun andrei, in all his sassy glory, managed to do so.

 

“ano namang ka-oh my god, oh my god sa panonood ko ng bagong netflix show?” he asked accusingly. “you’re always the one saying my taste in netflix sucks.”

 

“your taste in netflix sucks,” sehun said dryly with a pointed stare. it was, frankly, intimidating. “pero that’s not the point. the point was—you’re watching kyungsoo do’s recommendations now?”

 

“uh… yes?” baekhyun said. ano naman kay sehun if he was watching kyungsoo’s recs on netflix? b liked kyungsoo actually. he found kyungsoo funny on his twitter with all his wit and sarcasm and pati na rin yung way niya ng tweeting that reminded baekhyun of tita’s on facebook. yung instagram din ni kyungsoo was puro food—the literal kind ah—and the occasional sceneries. he barely had captions but his filters were nice. b was sure they were paid.

 

sehun was actually friends with kyungsoo. they were not very close, more of facebook friends, and since maliit lang din naman talaga ang ateneo. sobrang liit lang to the point na they all probably had one dick sucked in common. b knew he had one with sehun but that was a Man Who Should Not Be Named so moving on, nothing to see there.

 

“are you, like, trying to be close with kyungsoo?” sehun eyed him with judgement. it was nothing new naman—sehun judged everything and everyone. sehun’s parents used to joke that sehun even judged their parenting skills when he was all but three years old.

 

“not really,” shrug ni b. “but he seems like he a nice person. ‘di ba you know each other?”

 

“yes,” sehun nodded. walang halong bad vibes sa face niya so plus points for kyungsoo. sehun andrei oh actually liked him. the taller male had good feelings for people, like he was able to judge they character. “but hindi ako ang fubu ni gabby park and gabby park was not trying to fuck me…” sehun paused before he stuck his tongue out and muttered an additonal _ugh, gross_.

 

“grabe ka maka-gross ah,” sabi ni b with a roll of his eyes and a click of his tongue. “and there’s nothing wrong with kyungsoo and me being friends.”

 

“b! ano ka ba naman! so every time na mag-uusap kayo, ganito—” sehun paused. he picked up his phone and in an annoying and exaggerated high pitched voice that b would like to add sounded like some girls from an all-girls school in mandaluyong but he was not naming anyone, he added as he put his phone sa ear niya, “— _pwede ba makausap ang asawa mo na asawa ko na asawa ng buong bayan_?”

 

b scoffed. tangina mo, sehun oh.

 

“amputa,” he said in a deadpan. “saulo mo yung meme.”

 

sehun shrugged as if it was normal for him to memorize memes from the internet like some form of encyclopedia or some shit. 

 

“but am i wrong?” taas kilay ng perfectly threaded eyebrow ni sehun thanks to lay bare. “yung fubu mo na si gabby park is your asawa, someone else’s asawa, and is most likely the nation’s asawa. most likely kasi he’s competing with migs kim for the title.”

 

“sehun, fuck you,” b said with a huff. “gabby’s not that bad.” 

 

of course, hindi niya pinagtanggol si migs kim. jongin miguel kim was probably in the running for the nation’s fuck buddy. if papasok siya sa pinoy big brother, his tagline would probably be _‘migs kim, ang isang gabing ligaya ng metro manila_ ’ or something like that. 

 

“b,” sehun said ulit with a completely straight face. “gabby _is_ that bad.”

 

baekhyun rolled his eyes. “he isn’t. for one, hindi mo asawa si gabby.”

 

“that’s because hindi ako tanga,” reply ni sehun. 

 

okay. fine. to be fair naman sa best friend ni baekhyun, he had a point. he had several points. in fact, he had so many points that he might as well be starting a line, or a line segment kasi may ends naman ang points niya kahit na marami. b was sure na yun ang tawag do’n despite the fact na he was a philosophy major so, like, he was really bad at math.

 

nagsigh lang si baekhyun. “sehun, kasalanan ko ba na i’m fubus with gabby?” he asked that with all the seriousness he could muster in his voice.

 

nagstop si sehun and binaba niya yung potato corner niya. b also put his down which mean na this would be a serious talk. Serious Talk with capitalizations and trademark sa dulo.

 

“no naman,” sehun said. he shook his head a little din. “but b kasi you have feelings for him na.”

 

b nodded. alam ni sehun ito. alam ni sehun since the very beginning of his crisis—or crises, to be more accurate. b had several kasi. sometimes, all at once ang ganap nila. the moment na baekhyun had that telltale _oh shit_ feeling sa gitna ng slightly madilim na sky while eating sgt. steak salad with extra candied cashews and having his lemongrass iced tea drip down with its condensation sa labas ng cup, all from go salads, alam na alam ni sehun.

 

_wait. pause. flashback. cue, sepia toned filter_.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_it was the second semester of their junior year. walang masyadong araw because the days were still chasing the tail ends of the amihan in january. baekhyun was happily shoving his bite of salad when gabby brought out a worn looking copy of a nietzsche original._

 

_baekhyun looked up from his food and all he could see was the small smile on gabby’s face and the way his hair was already kind of long and something deep in him settled, like an old cog that finally started working. it felt foreign, but also familiar. it felt like he’d been doing it for a long time and only now was it starting to make sense._

 

_he took the book from gabby’s hand and for a moment, baekhyun wondered if this had been that eureka moment that everyone was so fond of talking. and then, afterwards, he finally realized why archimedes ran out of the tub, probably naked, because eureka moments had always made people stupid._

 

_ah, he thought as he looked at gabby’s smile and the slightly crinkle of his eyes. definitely stupid_.

 

“it’s been going on for how long now?” sehun added again. he did it softly this time.

 

“a year? i can’t remember,” he lied. of course, baekhyun remembered. how could he forget? gabby had written on the first page of the book a short message, complete with the date of that day—

 

_to my philosopher,_

 

_never stop seeking._

 

_gabby park_

_january 25, 2017_

 

paano naman niya malilimutan when the book was on top of his study desk? the spine of it was cracked even more because of the amount of times baekhyun had read it.

 

it was in english and naaalala rin niya yung tawa ni gabby when he said na it was fate that the only english book in the german book store was a translated nietzsche. he remembered the panic, too, and his reply of _may lettuce stuck between your teeth_.

 

sehun was the one who pulled him out of his thoughts by literally tapping the top of his thigh.

 

“baekhyun, ano na,” he said na lang helplessly. “yung taong ni-reject mo, naka-move on na. ikaw hindi pa.”

 

“sehun, you know? for someone running for magna, ang tanga ko no?” baekhyun replied. grabe naman kasi sehun, b thought. bakit ba kasi may pagbalik ng memories.

 

tangina, isip ni baekhyun. ano na at may flashbacks? _gago_.

 

“i mean,” sehun shrugged. “wala namang stupid with being in love. pero kasi baekhyun b. byun, not considering pa your history with the guy, gabby park is…” nagpause ang younger man ng slight before sighing, “… well, gabby park.”

 

nagnod si baekhyun dahil yes, gets.

 

“jokes aside,” hindi pa tapos si sehun. mukhang he’s hell-bent to prove that despite his 3.01 QPI, mas matalino nga talaga siya kay baekhyun. “are you even sure na you love him? i don’t know ah kasi he’s a fuckboy and i get why you’re attracted to fuckboys.”

 

“he’s not a bad person,” baekhyun mumbled. 

 

naglabas ng isang mahabang sound of frustration si sehun.

 

“i assume—” the younger of the two had a very dry tone. “—that he is also not bad in bed because of how you are so quick to defend him.”

 

“what even…” sagot ni b with malice. tangina ni sehun ah. with an exasperated tone, he added, “what do you mean by you get why i’m attracted to ‘fuckboys’?!”

 

b made sure na the word _fuckboys_ got air quotation marks. for the sake of plausible deniability, among other things.

 

“well, kasi,” sehun put his palms up like he was in a classroom trying to defend his point. pati yung tone niya was familiar. a bullshit was coming. “parang, like, the appeal of fuckboys is not the fact that they’re fuckboys. it’s the fact that they _would stop_ being a fuckboy for you.”

 

b rolled his eyes. ano raw?

 

“what?”

 

“look,” sehun gestured a little to the right. “sometimes, you could build this fantasy na you just want them or you love them because you want to tame them. like, ang attractive isipin na they’re going to give up their ways _for you_.”

 

“oh my god, sehun,” b said and followed it up with a snort. “are you psychoanalyzing me? is it _attack b_ day?”

 

sehun shrugged. “i’m just saying.”

 

“so you’re saying na maybe i just like the idea of being gabby’s the one?” baekhyun asked.

 

“i’m saying na _it is a possibility_ ,” sehun stressed.

 

b did some thinking. what did sehun even mean by liking the idea of being gabby’s only one? was he only really just attracted to the idea of himself being the person that gabby park would leave all his other fubus for? mahal lang ba niya yung idea na gabby would leave it all for him?

 

but also—

 

“i think,” baekhyun said. “anyone would love the idea of being someone’s the one. not just dahil fuckboys sila.”

 

sehun was still looking at him as if waiting for him to add something to his statement.

 

b smiled and continued, “i think anyone would love it if gabby loved them.”

 

sehun stopped and for a moment, silent lang silang dalawa. and then, “you missed my point. spectacularly.” b’s best friend sighed and sobrang defeated ng look niya as he commented with obviously fake na enthusiasm na katono ng _hello, welcome to uniqlo_ , “congratulations, b. you’re officially hopeless.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

officially hopeless na nga siguro talaga siya, b realized. he was now walking to gabby’s condo because his fuck buddy texted him about his flight being moved early. gabby was supposed to go visit his relatives in san francisco and they scheduled the dick appoint two days before that. pero now that gabby was apparently flying out of the country mas maaga, dick appointment was early too.

 

and of course, dahil baekhyun wanted to give gabby a lasting memory and dahil nga hopeless na nga talaga siya, he also had a surprise prepared for gabby. he was under no impression na gabriel would not try to find a tinder hook up in another fucking country so the least he could do was make sure na siya pa rin ang uuwian.

 

or something like that.

 

also, the best part of gabby going to san fran was the opportunity for skype sex. or facetime sex. those were b’s favorites. 

 

he knocked sa door once he arrived at gabby’s unit and walang ano ano, the door opened to chanyeol gabriel park in his boxer shorts because this man, for as long as b had known him, hated wearing clothes at home. _home is where you’re only in your underwear_ as gabby himself was fond of reminding b.

 

meron sigurong something sa pagbukas ni gabby ng door because for some reason, the muscles in his arm—biceps and triceps and what not, b’s not a science major—bunched up in a way that highlighted the fact na masarap ang fubu ni baekhyun.

 

b got it, gabs, you work out.

 

so of course, the only thing that b did, and could only do was push gabby inside his own unit and slam the door shut with a kick of his foot. gabby was looking red in the face too, probably because b sent a nude of him that was an 11/10 in his humble opinion. 

 

“tangina,” gabs said. he was just standing there sa harap ni b, tightly coiled. as if one moment para bang he would come undone.

 

nagtaas ng kilay si baekhyun. he could clearly see gabby roll his shoulders and baekhyun licked his bottom lip. gabs had wide shoulders—really wide, wider than baekhyun by a bit and b had _wide_ shoulders too. all those days of lifting probably paying off. he saw the cords of muscles move underneath the smooth skin. sayang na gabby was heading to san francisco during december kasi b would have liked to see him come back with a california tan. 

 

hindi alam ni baekhyun kung sino ang unang humalik, just that someone surged forward. before he knew it, his lips were on gabby’s and the taller man was bending down for him. his lips were harsh and quick against baekhyun’s own and chanyeol gabriel bit down. his hands were already wandering everywhere. yung t-shirt ni baekhyun, tanggal agad.

 

chanyeol moved them so b was against the wall, near the bathroom door. hindi man lang naputol yung halikan nila and baekhyun was the one who had to push chanyeol a little bit away para naman makahinga siya. 

 

gabby’s mouth started moving down sa may collarbone niya and naramdaman niya yung pagscrape ng teeth sa soft skin. chanyeol was nipping a little bit sa balat niya, gentle enough na he was sure they would only be pink or red for a moment before bumalik sa usual color ang balat maya-maya.

 

a knee found their way between b’s legs, spreading his thighs wider. chanyeol lodged it there before pushing up so his thighs would make contact with baekhyun’s hardening dick. tangina nito. ang bilis ng pagrub niya ng thigh niya and baekhyun himself started riding chanyeol’s leg. 

 

he rolled his hips and chanyeol grabbed him against sa shoulder to still him.

 

“wait here,” sabi nito before leaving baekhyun sa may pader as if b was not ready to give chanyeol everything right at that moment.

 

“fuck,” sabi ni baekhyun but of course, naghintay ulit siya.

 

hindi naman matagal si gabby. he went back to where b was still pressed down sa wall with a dazed look with a—yup. a bottle of lube and isang foil ng condom.

 

“we’re doing it here?” tanong ni b. 

 

it just slipped out of him so suddenly. it was not like first nila itong gagawin sa hindi kama. in fact, mas maraming beses na ata nila nagawa sa places other than the bedroom. but lately, due to finals and shit, they have mostly traded sloppy blowjobs and handjobs. 

 

“yeah,” chanyeol gabriel said in a low tone. he tapped b’s right shoulder and ordered, “face the wall.”

 

parang merong nagco-control kay baekhyun because the moment chanyeol said _face the wall_ , he faced the wall. he uncapped the bottle of lube and b watched him trying to juggle everything—

 

of course, hindi niya napigilan na magsalita.

 

“gabs, you’re holding a condom and lube din,” he rolled his eyes kasi he was braver than the US marines. “how are you supposed to fuck me?”

 

gabby raised an eyebrow at him. it looked threatening and challenging. the expression on the taller man’s face went straight to baekhyun’s dick and it twitched inside his underwear. one look and he was already putty in chanyeol’s hands.

 

“i have an idea,” chanyeol said darkly. he looked at the packet of condom in his hand and b felt the hair on his neck stood up but also, his cock. gabby pressed an open mouthed kiss sa batok ni baekhyun before he whispered on his ear, against the skin.

 

“here—” chanyeol slipped the packet of condom in between baekhyun’s lips. “since you’re so noisy, bite on this.” 

 

the taller male waited until baekhyun complied. b did and he could feel the rapid beating of his heart and pati na rin yung crashing noises sa tenga niya. he was only biting one corner of the packet and it could easily slip out if he so much as opened his mouth.

 

“now,” sabi ni gabby. he pulled down baekhyun’s loose pants alongside his underwear. “step out.”

 

parang nilamig siy baekhyun kasi siya, hubad na. gabby was still in his underwear.

 

“if the condom falls out of your mouth—” gabby said softly, gently. his palm was fitted against one of b’s bare asscheek. baekhyun shuddered. the palm massaged the flesh before the warmth was suddenly gone. kung anong bilis ng pagkawala ng palad ni chanyeol, siya ding bilis ng pagbasak nito.

 

nagring yung spank on baekhyun’s flesh and the only thing that managed to save the condom bitten between his teeth was the fact na he clenched his jaw tighter.

 

“good boy,” sabi ni gabby. baekhyun’s dick was already hard against his abs. puta. wala pang nangyayari and he was already leaking. chanyeol rubbed circles doon sa place where he had spanked. 

 

“don’t let the condom fall, b, or iiwan kita ng ganito.” 

 

gabby was tracing gentle patterns sa skin niya. the pads of his fingers slipping doon sa area where his ass met his thigh. his nails were blunt and short but gabby dug them into the flesh. b held off another noise.

 

baekhyun tried to glance behind him but gabby was quick to snap a low growl of, “eyes on the wall.”

 

he complied. 

 

yung kamay ni gabby was holding his ass cheek pa rin and the other man gave it a hard squeeze that had b’s knees buckling underneath him. he jutted his butt out, as if offering it dito sa masarap at malaki na lalaki sa likod niya. chanyeol gabriel gave the flesh one soft pat and b knew it was all the warning he would get.

 

one more smack. the large hand went down on his ass ruthlessly. ang sakit, tangina. baekhyun closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. tangina. dahil meron siyang condom sa bibig, hindi niya mabuka ito dahil baka mahulog. 

 

he felt gabby’s big figure hovering behind him and all he could do was look at the wall and clench his teeth against the foil packet of the condom. he heard the sound of the lube being squirted out of the tube and then the coldness against his butt crack. he heard it being closed with a snap tapos yung pagbagsak nito sa floor dahil gabby tossed it away. two fingers lazily fit themselves between his cheeks as one hand gripped the flesh to open him up.

 

one finger slipped inside and b sighed through his nose. familiar ang feeling and he did tense up a little bit, like anyone would due to intrusion, but he quickly relaxed. sanay na si b with gabby’s thick index finger inside him.

 

naramdaman niya yung isa pang daliri ng lalaki sa likod niya and b took a deep breath as the finger started pressing against his entrance before it slowly slipped inside. the stretch was still easy because of what b did last night. gabby’s fingers stayed there for a moment, knuckles deep, before it started pumping in and out of him.

 

b made tight whimpering noises, like he was wounded, and tried not to open his mouth.

 

“yeah, b,” gabby said as he continued to fuck him with his two fingers. he paused for a moment before the intrusion felt thicker. b released three quick exhales through his nose again as this time, tatlong daliri na ang nasa loob niya. 

 

kagat pa rin ni baekhyun yung condom between his teeth and all he could do was press his forehead against the cool wall. one of his hand was gripping the base of his dick, to stave off the pressure longer, and the other was reaching towards the door knob sa pinto ng bathroom close to him, just so b had something to squeeze.

 

“doing amazing, babe,” praise chanyeol as he scissored and prepped b. he was mostly whispering it against his skin because plump lips were tracing b’s back like they were mapping territories.

 

ang gentle, parang hindi siya nag-utos kay b not to let go of the condom packet. the pace of chanyeol’s fingers slow down and b could not even tell chanyeol na he was ready, he was ready to be ripped open by his big dick. pero tangina, the taller male must have read his mind, because he said, “turn around.”

 

b did and he was greeted by the sight of chanyeol’s leaking cock out of the confines of his boxer. in his mind, baekhyun licked his bottom lip. in reality, he reached for his own hard on. the sight of chanyeol naked, yung titi niya matigas at malaki against his thick torso, never failed to turn baekhyun on.

 

gabby pressed a quick kiss sa temple ni b and he pushed the smaller male sa pader. he took the condom packet and ripped it swiftly and b could finally breathe. 

 

“i did well?” he asked.

 

“yeah, baby, you did,” sabi ni gabby. he rolled the condom down his dick and he kissed baekhyun on his lips again. yung kamay niya, jinajakol na si baekhyun.

 

gabby was shallowly pumping baekhyun’s rock hard cock. mabagal lang, sakto lang. nothing that would make baekhyun come kasi hindi pa sila tapos. 

 

“do you want me to fuck you against the wall?” tanong ni gabby sa kanya. 

 

baekhyun went rigid and nodded. he didn’t trust himself to speak and not spill everything he wanted chanyeol do to him.

 

“good,” chanyeol said darkly. he bent down slightly and gripped baekhyun below his ass before he lifted. baekhyun’s back was resting on the wall and the first thing he did was take a hold of the door knob on the door just to support himself.

 

“other hand on my shoulder, b,” gabby whispered gently. 

 

b put his arm sa shoulder ni chanyeol. there was something about being held up that made b want to just come right then and there. he knew na hindi siya magaan. he was all lean lines and defined muscles. b was also a regular sa gym.

 

but putangina. gabby was holding him up like he weighed nothing, like he was petite when he was everything but not.

 

“fuck,” he couldn’t help but finally swear. 

 

gabby pushed himself away from b, just a bit. hinawakan niya yung base ng tite niya before aligning it against b’s entrance. baekhyun took a deep breath and pushed himself just a little bit with the leverage he got from the knob he was holding—and then—

 

“shit, gabs,” he drawled in a low tone as chanyeol practically dropped him on his dick. one long stroke downwards and bottoms up agad.

 

gabby did not move at first, he just made a groaning sound that ate up baekhyun’s name halfway. he took a deep breath and b tapped two fingers sa balat ni chanyeol where his other hand was resting before the taller male get to work.

 

he slammed baekhyun up the wall and b did not even have the time to react or make some sound or say something because gabby had pulled out _and had pushed his cock back in_.

 

“tangina, _ga_ — _oh…_ ” he was cut off dahil napa moan siya when his back hit the wall because gabby started thrusting up. baekhyun met his movements downwards.

 

it took them siguro a couple more bago nagmatch yung pace nilang dalawa. gabby was holding him up pa rin and kitang kita ni b yung bawat galaw ng muscles nito. his dick was rubbing against gabs’ torso and the tip was already so wet dahil sa precum na namumuo dito. 

 

chanyeol continued fucking him quietly against the wall and baekhyun almost bumped his head when the taller man thrusted too hard. the tops of baekhyun’s spine was repeatedly hitting the concrete and he was sure he was going to be bruised to hell and back.

 

gabby latched his mouth sa leeg ni b as he started sucking. baekhyun could not even touch himself as he let the bigger male use him and use him relentlessly. wala siyang magawa but take it. gabby was holding him up and holding him open.

 

a few more thrusts and he could feel gabby coming already. he did so with short grunt and b’s name that was molded together with what sounded like a _fuck_. baekhyun unwrapped his legs and he was on his tiptoes still. he never realized that gabby was holding him that high.

 

before he could even breathe, gabby was already on his knees. both his hands on baekhyun’s waist, holding him against sa wall pa rin. large fingers were digging into his flesh before a warm mouth enveloped his dick.

 

“puta ka,” sabi ni baekhyun that was half way an accusation and half way an absentminded curse. gabs laughed and the vibrations were so strong that baekhyun’s toes curled against the floor.

 

ang init ng bibig ni gabby around his cock and the taller man bobbed his head up and down. a thumb started prodding his sensitive entrance and baekhyun jerked his hip forward when it slipped inside his thoroughly fucked hole.

 

gabby did this sucking thing and his thumb crooked inside at the same time. the tightness in b’s stomach uncoiled as he came with a grunt. he came in gabby’s mouth and the taller man swallowed as b watched him gulp every last drop. 

 

once naka-back away na si gabby, b was still leaning sa wall in support just in case his legs were jelly and he suddenly collapsed sa sahig. gabby rolled his shoulders once again. he started with his right and rubbed a circle or two on the top of it as if he was trying to undo the knot that was from lifting baekhyun as he fucked him open.

 

baekhyun sighed and watched as gabby took the condom off and worked his magic on tying it shut.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

romance was truly dead, baekhyun thought as he rolled a bright red shirt into a nice burrito shape. gabby was doing the same thing though he was undoing his own work, muttering about the best way to fit his sweaters in his suitcase. 

 

after having kasi sex sa wall, the two of them shared a cig and a gatorade in their boxers before gabby re-tied his hair, slapped baekhyun’s ass, and said, “get to work, team, we’re not done packing.”

 

baekhyun was going through the motions of folding another article of clothing when he groaned, slumping down, and complained, “fuck you for making me do this, chanyeol gabriel n. park.”

 

nagraise ang dalawang kilay ni chanyeol gabriel before he smirked. “parang it’s the other way around. i did fuck you to do this.”

 

“oh my god,” b said. “you’re dick is not that good para magtupi ako ng damit mo, gago.”

 

gabby shrugged. “i’m sure that’s not what you’re thinking kanina.”

 

of course, that was not what b was thinking kanina. he knew it. gabby knew it. their neighbor on the right probably knew it, too. 

 

“ _puta_ ,” b said and then, added, dahil opportunist siya, “dapat may pasalubong ako from san fran— _tangina mo_.”

 

gabby just laughed. “you’re good with anything supreme, ayt? and sephora? basta link it na lang and shit… or do you want something more?”

 

nagsnort lang si baekhyun before nodding and looking down sa damit na tinutupi niya. _do you want something more_ rang in his ears and he bit his lip para mapigilan ang pag-answer niya ng _yes, yes i want something more, gabby_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

meron nga ata na himala, miss nora aunor, dahil baekhyun b. byun with a south address was now outside of his own city. nasa megamall siya right now dahil sehun andrei oh invited him for a day out tapos a movie na rin. wala naman silang gustong panoorin na movie parehas but baekhyun accepted the invite kasi wala naman siyang ginagawa sa house now that chanyeol gabriel (yung lalaking favorite niyang gawin _wink wink nudge nudge_ ) was out of the country. 

 

nasa loob sila now ng MAC store dahil for some reason, biglang nagpabili yung mama ni sehun ng setting spray and ng bullet lipstick in the shade of— _twig_? hindi sure ni baekhyun but lipsticks do have weird names so he just brushed it off. 

 

hindi siya mahilig sa lipstick dahil first of all, mahirap kumain, but he was looking at eyeshadow palettes. he took one na nude-ish and browns ang colors and considered them. kailangan na rin pala niya mamili ng strobe cream—or well kailangan na niyang i-try. the kailangan part was sort of debatable.

 

“hi, sir. magandang shadow palette ‘yan,” sabi nung babae na staff ng MAC. baekhyun would have nodded but the woman seemed to have other ideas. she added, “for your girlfriend?”

 

nagtwitch ang mata ni baekhyun kasi _miss, ang heteronormative naman_. just because baekhyun dressed like he talked about sneakers ‘dropping’ like album releases, or dahil halata na he worked his ass of sa gym or some shit did not mean na he was straight. 

 

he gave the woman a straight—ha!—eye contact and with a very dry voice said, “i’m gay.”

 

nakita niyang namula yung staff and she stammered an apology kay baekhyun. the taller man waved the apology off and asked na lang for a travel-sized strobe cream. the girl was quick to rush and baekhyun was quick to decide na yes, he needed this palette nga talaga.

 

he went to pay sa counter with sehun and the staff kanina was trying to avoid looking at his eyes. baekhyun did not care. it’s not like he would report her or something. the two of them went out of the store and sehun was the one who spoke first, as they were getting inside bershka naman.

 

“so…” he trailed off while looking at the rack of clothes. baekhyun was away from all the potential spending, trying to look anywhere but the clothes.

 

“so?” he asked, prompting sehun to continue.

 

“how was life ngayong LDR kayo ng asawa mo, na asawa ko, na asawa ng buong bayan?”

 

nagroll ng eyes si baekhyun, letting sehun run away with his meme. malalaos din yan, he thought, and then sehun could finally stop referring to gabby park as his husband kahit na hindi lang naman siya ang only lalaki sa buhay ni baekhyun. meron din siyang _side hoes_.

 

“first of all, hindi mo siya asawa,” sabi ni baekhyun.

 

“thank god,” murmur ni sehun under his breath as he brought a shirt out and held it against his long torso.

 

baekhyun shook his head. “‘di bagay sa ‘yo the color. mukha kang may sakit.”

 

binalik ni sehun yung shirt and b continued talking. 

 

“and what LDR? he was probably still passed out.”

 

the last message that chanyeol gabriel had sent him was a selfie sa san francisco and a complaint that he _totally did not miss flying that long, b_. b sort of just assumed that chanyeol was still out there somewhere sleeping off the jet lag. 

 

“alam na alam niya,” comment ni sehun as he picked another shirt. baekhyun nodded and sehun hung the hook from his bony wrist. 

 

“he was texting me,” b replied shortly.

 

nagsnort si sehun. “and gaano kaya katagal before he stopped texting?”

 

nagshrug si baekhyun. chanyeol was shitty at replying especially when he was out of the country and exploring—or making tinder matches. b had made peace with it.

 

“two days,” sabi niya.

 

“ _ugh_ ," isang very audible groan ang pinakawalan ni sehun. “reality check, b—but gabby park was probably setting up dick appointments right now.”

 

nagsnort ulit si baekhyun. hindi ganoon kabilis si gabriel park. he said so as much and added for good measure, “he needed the time to say hello to all his relatives so two days talaga.”

 

“ _amputa_ ,” whisper scream ni sehun. “akala ko ba may feelings ka for him? hindi ka ba nasasaktan that he was fucking his way into the entirety of metro manila while fucking you? and now na he _was not_ fucking you, he was fucking his way into the west fucking coast!”

 

tumaas isang kilay ni b. “eloquent—ilang fucks meron sa sinabi mo?”

 

kulang na lang was sabunutan ni sehun ang sarili niya—or sabunutan niya si baekhyun—from the expression on his face. 

 

“look, sehun,” b explained kasi ayaw niyang ma-bad mood si sehun sa kanya. “sex is good. sex with gabby park is good. it’s that easy.”

 

“is it really?” tanong ni sehun as he grabbed a bomber jacket from the rack. “easy ba kung may feelings ka sa kanya for a year now?”

 

nagshrug si b and the both of them walked to the cashier kasi sehun did not like fitting his clothes sa stores dahil on top of being tamad, malaki rin ang ego niya—bagay naman daw sa kanya ang whatever.

 

“and what about it?” reply ni baekhyun sa earlier tanong ni sehun. hindi lang ang best friend niya ang maalam sa memes dito. “i can compartmentalize.”

 

nilapag ni sehun yung pinamili niya as the guy started scanning his items. 

 

“hindi mo maco-compartmentalize yung feelings mo and yung sex when the two of you kept acting like magboyfriends kayo,” he said flatly. 

 

tumingin siya sa cashier and continued, “sir, kung may fubu kayo tapos nain-love kayo sa kanya, anong gagawin niyo? also, yung fubu na ‘to was the person you rejected years ago kasi you’re the one who suggested na fubus lang dapat.”

 

“tangina mo, sehun,” baekhyun harshly said. 

 

si kuya cashier looked gobsmacked. medyo nagulat ata siya sa tanong ni sehun. baekhyun, too. puta ka, sehun andrei oh. tumingin an cashier from sehun and from baekhyun and he looked hesitant na magreply until sehun asked him for his opinion again.

 

“um….” he trailed off. he was packing their stuff now. “hihiwalay muna ako, sir. parang ang hirap naman sa parte ko na ako lagi masasaktan, ‘di ba? deserve ko maging masaya.”

 

“and i rest my case, your honor,” sabi ni sehun as he grabbed his large paper bag.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“see,” sehun pointed out as they walked out of bershka. “even yung random person, alam na you deserve maging masaya.”

 

“sehun,” baekhyun said flatly. “alam mo bang merong mali sa concept of deserving. “like, if i _deserve_ something, kailangan ba paghirapan ko siya? will i _deserve_ it kapag hindi? yung suffering ko ba, necessity for me _to deserve_? then if so, bakit ko kailangan mahirapan for me to _deserve happiness?_ can’t i just _be_?”

 

“god, baekhyun.” sehun looked up sa itaas as if asking for strength from the holy spirit themselves. “only you would try to rationalize your stupid fubu with philosophy.”

 

“did i lie?” baekhyun remarked. “ang problem ko kasi was the fact na you kept on pushing me to do this and that because i _deserve_ to be happy as if hindi ako masaya sa kung anong meron ako right now. people find themselves where they’ve put themselves, sehun—and i’m exactly where i want to be.”

 

“saan?” sehun said dryly. “sa listahan ni gabby park ng tao na he fucked, fucks, and will fuck?”

 

“sa list of people,” baekhyun said seriously. “that gabby park considered important in his life—regardless of romance.”

 

“oh my god, b. wake up,” sabi ni sehun. “you _love_ him!”

 

“yes,” he said simply with a shrug. “i love him because i do, not because i think he will love me back. that’s a good bonus but it’s not something that i’m—ah—expecting back?”

 

“fine, _bobo_ -hyun. bahala ka,” sehun sighed in defeat.

 

the two of them continued to walk before sehun interrupted again with a gasp and a long, drawn out, “ _gagoooo_.”

 

“bakit na naman?” inis na tingin ni baekhyun.

 

“isn’t that migs? and kyungsoo do?” turo ni sehun doon sa dalawa na palakad papuntang escalator. 

 

tumingin si baekhyun and he saw the shaved head first that was like a beacon of attention and migs kim walking beside the shorter guy with a large paper bag from zara, one medium sized paper bag from lacoste, and one distressingly extra large bag from nike. 

 

and of course, dahil gago rin siya, b called out, “kyungsoo do!”

 

lumingon si kyungsoo and migs, too. nakita ni baekhyun yung drastic difference from their expressions. kyungsoo himself looked excited and he started walking back to b and sehun. migs was standing there with a supremely annoyed face before siyang sumunod kay kyungsoo.

 

“bakit sila magkasama?” he heard sehun whisper beside him.

 

true, bakit sila magkasama? nilabas ni baekhyun ang imaginary magnifying glass niya in his mind. alam ba ni gabriel park ang ginagawa ni migs and ni kyungsoo? talo na ba si gabby sa silent war nila for kyungsoo’s fat ass.

 

“hey, b,” greet ni kyungsoo. he reached in to hug b and b returned it with a pat sa balikat ng smaller male. “hey, sehun.” naghug din sila. 

 

migs was behind kyungsoo lang like a looming figure. he nodded at b and exchanged a bro hug with sehun with a _what’s up_? 

 

tangina talaga ni migs. baekhyun hated his guts. hindi niya ito magawang tiisin. sabi nga ng favorite niyang philosopher, _if you are stuck in a locked room with donald trump, kim jong un, and jongin miguel kim with one gun and only two bullets, do yourself a favor and shoot yourself twice_. 

 

“what are you two doing here?” tanong ni sehun with a smile.

 

“shopping, dude,” answer ni migs curtly.

 

“we’re about to eat at ippudo,” dagdag ni kyungsoo. “wanna go with us?”

 

nag-exchange ng look si baekhyun and sehun and baekhyun spotted the way jongin miguel’s right eye twitched. clearly, he was not expecting kyungsoo to invite the both of them. and because the b in baekhyun b. byun could also stand for _bitch_ , he gave kyungsoo a wide smile and nodded. 

 

“sure.” he answered with a lot of enthusiasm. and dahil din kitang kita niya ang inis sa mukha ni jongin miguel, he went ahead and wrapped one arm to kyungsoo’s shoulders and pulled the shorter male close to his side, before walking to the escalator.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

inside ippudo, they were seated agad sa isang table that was theirs lang. the waiter had left with their menu and baekhyun watched the way migs sat down close beside kyungsoo. their shoulders were brushing and b would like to say with all his unbiased opinion na no, jongin miguel did not need to sit that close.

 

the four of them made small talk. kyungsoo was talking about his planned batanes trip with his friend, jongdae kim and a few more people whom baekhyun did not recognize by name or surname but probably kilala niya sa face dahil ateneo was so small, seriously. 

 

ang shopping trip ng dalawang tao across him was apparently because of kyungsoo buying a new jacket dahil malamig na ang panahon and new clothes dahil magpa-pasko na.

 

baekhyun did not point out the fact that kyungsoo was not holding any paper bags nung nagkita sila kanina near the escalator and how it was migs who was laden with one really large bag from zara, one from lacoste, and one from nike na sobrang laki that it was practically eating up all the floor space.

 

b considered it his benevolent and kind gesture for that day. 

 

judging from the way sehun kicked his foot underneath the table when kyungsoo mentioned the purpose of the shopping trip, na gets din ni sehun andrei ang implications ng binitiwang salita ni kyungsoo. this would be ammunition until the next semester, probably, so hindi rin nagpoint si sehun ng observation niya.

 

wala pa rin yung orders nila and the convo had turned into a heated debate of club football and ronaldo’s transfer to juventus. sehun had increasingly loud opinions and migs had been rolling his eyes non stop. kyungsoo was sipping his iced tea lang, no knowledge of the sport, while b was choosing to keep his mouth shut kasi alam lang niya laruin ang FIFA sa PS4 but he never really bothered following the matches.

 

so of course, dahil parehas silang illiterate sa football, he turned to kyungsoo and whispered like he was a conspirator in a crime.

 

“why are you and migs together?”

 

“huh?” kyungsoo asked, medj dumb—but in a cute way.

 

“you’re just shopping lang?” baekhyun prompted. he was trying to dig deeper into this kyungsoo and migs thing.

 

“oh yeah,” sagot ni kyungsoo. “i said before na, right? batanes trip?” natawa si kyungsoo, a short _hehehe_ that had baekhyun wanting to squish yung mataba niyang cheeks. kawawa naman si kalbo kung pinaglalaruan lang ni jongin miguel. 

 

“yes pero what’s the deal with migs? bakit kasama mo?” 

 

sige pa baekhyun b. byun, the b in your name also stood for busybody.

 

“hm? well, bored daw si miggy so…”

 

kung kumakain or uminom si baekhyun, he probably would have choked or spat his drink out. _ano raw?!_ tama ba ang narinig niya? did kyungsoo just call jongin miguel kim… miggy? hindi alam ni baekhyun anong meron sa dalawa na ‘to—if migs had already tapped what needed to be tapped… but _miggy_?!

 

no one would call jongin miguel kim miggy unless they were trying to piss him off, fight him, mock him, or all of the above.

 

yung pagkakasabi ni kyungsoo ng _miggy_ was very not mocking. hindi talaga.

 

walang masabi si baekhyun and thank you so much, deus ex machina, dahil dumating na yung orders nila ng ramen that the four of them all had to eat. 

 

nagfog yung salamin ni kyungsoo dahil sa init ng order niya and migs was the first one to laugh before the rest of them followed. medyo distressed si baekhyun kasi this was the first time he had heard jongin miguel kim laugh like _that_.

 

parang nasa alternate universe si baekhyun after the _miggy_ thing (which was still… _what the fuck_ ) and now the laugh.

 

granted na hindi sila close but still… may iba sa tawa ni jongin miguel. also, medyo familiar din. he was saved from his thinking sa threat ni kyungsoo directed to them to _stop laughing or else_.

 

in the middle of it all, nagsalita si kyungsoo with a nonchalant tone, “ang weird ‘cause gabby’s not here.”

 

ramdam ni baekhyun ang paglamig ng room. pati yung napakainit niyang ramen, lumamig na rin. walang nagmention ng name na chanyeol, or gabriel, or chanyeol gabriel park, or gabby, or gabs sa buong duration ng impromptu and unexpected hang out nila. 

 

their hohol was a gabby park free zone.

 

of course, kyungsoo—bless his soul—brought the tall man up.

 

“weird?” tanong ni baekhyun. his voice did not crack, nope. maanghang lang talaga yung ramen so may sumabit. he quickly took a sip of his iced tea kasi nga ang spicy nung kinakain niya. very spicy. 

 

may twinkle sa mata ni kyungsoo as he slyly said, “well, you’re _close friends_ with gabby, ‘di ba? wala lang—parang siya lang yung kulang.” 

 

tumawa ulit si kyungsoo ng _hehehe_ laugh niya and baekhyun snuck a glance kay migs sa tabi who was… _looking down at his ramen with furrowed eyebrows and tight press of his lips?_

 

aba.

 

baekhyun’s eyebrows went up in his mind. externally, tumawa siya and said, “nag-eenjoy naman siya sa US. let him miss out.”

 

nag- _hehehe_ ulit si kyungsoo before he said meaningfully, “yeah. he’s missing out.”

 

surprisingly, it was migs ( _miggy, amputa_ ) who coughed and changed the topic. another interesting observation.

 

after ng meal nila, baekhyun was intensely suspicious. jongin miguel was so… not jongin miguel.

 

the four of them were supposed to pay for their meals separately, kanya kanya na bayad. but instead, kyungsoo was the one paying for his own order of ramen and yung pork sandwich thingy niya that baekhyun was sure had twice the calories as the daily recommended intake _and_ yung order ni migs.

 

thank god for oh sehun though because he could not close his damn mouth shut. 

 

“why are you paying for migs, kyungsoo?”

 

kung hindi alam ni baekhyun na jongin miguel kim did not blush, he would have not caught it. but he did and now he was humming inside his mind with a smirk. _interesting_.

 

“kasi he picked me up from my house kanina so we could go shop. i promised him na libre ko naman yung food namin.” kyungsoo replied simply as if he was not talking about getting migs kim to be his personal grab driver.

 

tangina. baekhyun thought—migs kim better be tapping kyungsoo’s ass for all his trouble at least once a day kasi _what the fuck_. 

 

what the fuck talaga. 

 

paglabas nila sa ippudo, migs said na they (as in he and kyungsoo _only_ ) were still going to check some stores. hindi naman makapalag si baekhyun dahil kyungsoo already agreed na they had to go leave already.

 

pinanood ni baekhyun maglakad palayo yung dalawa and the only thing he could see was migs kim holding three large paper bags and looking down at kyungsoo with an indulgent smile as kyungsoo do chattered away.

 

“huh,” sehun suddenly said beside him.

 

baekhyun could not help but think, _same_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

pag-uwi niya sa bahay, the first thing he did was shoot a text kay gabby sa imessage. he was sure na gising na ito.

 

**b** : ARE MIGS KIM AND KYUNGSOO FUCKING?!?!!???!?!?!??!

**b:** saGOT GAGO THIS IS A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION

 

he was so disturbed na parang pumasok siya sa isang AU. it was possible with the infinite universes theory and shit.

 

gising na nga si gabby which meant na mabilis ang reply. thank you, internet, for bringing countries together. thank you, modernity, for blurring time and space.

 

**gabby** : not that i know of….

**gabby** : y

 

baekhyun paused before typing out carefully.

 

**b** : nothing

 

he remembered about his eureka moment theory and archimedes running out of the bathtub naked. parang this was also one of those times, those stupid times, that baekhyun was thankful na hindi siya nagbababad sa tub so hindi siya napatakbo ng hubad palabas.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_privately, b also wondered if jongin miguel kim had had his eureka moment and then thought about what kind of stupid thing someone like him would have done. he’d rather not dwell on it though—migs did seem like the type of person who would have a lot of stupid things to choose from_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot continues to thicken like kyungsoo :>


	11. pity the fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there’s a pretty popular song that goes like this— _i pity the fool that falls in love with you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update will be saturday, because i have an exam/interview this friday lol

dumating na ang hinihintay na highlight ng sem break ni migs.

 

a small dog rushed inside their house, yipping excitedly at his heels. wala siyang nagawa but to fall on his knees as the puppy assaulted him with licks. it started climbing on him and migs stood up to cradle the dog in his arms. medyo mabigat but migs worked out five days a week. sayang ang gym membership niya if itong cute puppy na ito, hindi niya mabubuhat.

 

“her name’s sexy,” sabi ng second ate niya. her initials were also J and M, like siya and their eldest. her second ate’s nickname was jamie, ever since.

 

“hi, sexy,” he cooed. migs had been waiting for their new dog to arrive from the states. his second ate was visiting the first and apparently, their husky had given birth. sexy was one of them and while migs still did not know why she was called sexy, he knew it was perfect.

 

sexy was already the best little puppy in the world. 

 

merong naka-attach na red leash kay sexy and at three months old, she was apparently potty trained. jongin miguel knew that before long, sexy would be solving math problems already. he had a feeling she was a genius dog.

 

he brought sexy up to his room, escaping ate jamie and the rest of the family. sexy was not their first dog but ever since, their poodles had to retire and stay with migs’ grandparents dasma, hindi na ulit sila nag-alaga ng dog sa house. his parents had gotten too busy to train them, and migs too, because of university. but sexy was at least potty trained and he knew that their kasambahays would be all too willing to take care of a dog. 

 

tapos na ang christmas, and nabuksan na niya lahat ng regalo niya, but it seemed like the universe was still hell bent on giving migs another present.

 

he set sexy down sa floor of his bedroom and he took his phone from where it was charging sa may bed side table. he also grabbed one of the tennis balls na nakakalat sa isang corner ng room niya, alongside his basketball and football stuff, and yung baseball gloves, bat, and balls niya. 

 

he sat down sa sahig and waved the bright neon ball at chest level.

 

“sexy, hey.” he called out. migs clicked his tongue and the tiny husky barreled towards his direction. the puppy tried jumping for the bright ball but migs raised it up para hindi niya maabot. sexy continued jumping as migs teased him about. 

 

she really was a genius dog, thought migs.

 

he grabbed his phone and opened the camera app. migs trained it towards sexy and took a video of her jumping around like the hyperactive puppy that she was. she was so full of energy and migs was laughing at the way sexy was trying so hard. his hand shook with his chuckles and the video was most likely shitty but whatever. it’s sexy.

 

he rolled the ball away from him and sexy followed after it immediately. she stayed a few feet away from migs as she chewed on the ball and rolled it around with her small paws.

 

migs sent the video to one person and to one person only.

 

**migs** : SOO

**migs** : SHE’S HERE

**migs** : [video attachment]

 

the reply came by pretty fast, like maybe kyungsoo was waiting for migs to text or something. _or something_ , because migs was also similar. his days were highlighted by kyungsoo’s presence and his jokes. the semester break would have been so boring without kyungsoo’s constant chatter. the other man was quiet, yes, speaking in low and soft tones. pero hindi ibig sabihin noon ay hindi na siya madaldal. in fact, kyungsoo was talkatative. he just wasn’t noisy, which migs liked about him.

 

**soo** : OMG

**soo** : [heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji]

**soo** : [star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji, star eyes emoji]

**soo** : she just ended every other dog EVER

 

before migs could send anything back, he already got an incoming facetime video call. without hesitation, he swiped the call to accept it. kyungsoo’s small face filled his entire screen. yung mata niya, wild and excited. his forehead was taking up so much space and migs resisted pointing that out kasi they had more important things to attend to such as—

 

“where is she!” kyungsoo tittered excitedly. “nasan na?! i’m not here to see you, miggy!”

 

sobrang halata yung buzzing niya. if kasama ni migs si kyungsoo now, the shorter male would probably be sitting with his hands under his thighs to stop himself from fidgeting with excitement and anticipation.

 

“wait,” migs said. he clicked his tongue and called, “sexy! come here, puppy.”

 

“her name’s sexy?” surprised na tanong ni kyungsoo. he had a dubious expression on but he still looked like he was anticipating seeing the dog.

 

sexy, being the genius dog that she was proving herself to be, perked up and ran all the way to jongin miguel. inayos ni migs yung phone so that sexy would be included sa video call.

 

“oh my god.” jongin miguel watched as kyungsoo just… melted. 

 

he gave a big smile that showed his gums and his heart shaped smile. migs had never known that their wifi could be this fast, so fast that he could clearly see a line each, a little below kyungsoo’s eyes. the lines were there because of the smaller man’s wide smile, lines that showed because his cheeks would lift and then bunch up.

 

_fuck, gago_ , migs thought. _tangina—ang cute_.

 

“hi, sexy,” kyungsoo said—cooed. _he cooed_. 

 

migs was just staring at the screen that was showing kyungsoo’s face. his voice was pitched higher, tone just a tad bit more cutesy compared to the usual soft, velvety drone that was kyungsoo’s speaking voice. 

 

“hi, little girl.” the smaller male continued to baby talk to migs’ dog. sexy was as fascinated towards the image of kyungsoo on the phone screen as jongin was. “you’re so cute! i can’t wait to meet you in person, sexy.”

 

all migs could do was helplessly smile as kyungsoo clicked his tongue and smiled and baby talked to the puppy. he was a little bit surprised when kyungsoo’s usual voice drifted out of the speakers.

 

“miggy,” he breathed out. the excitement was present in his eyes, the anticipation was caught between the large beam that he was wearing. it looked good on kyungsoo. bagay sa kanya yung mukha siyang masaya. 

 

“what?” migs asked. sexy must have felt that the attention was not on her anymore and she darted out of migs’ hold to go back to her forgotten tennis ball.

 

“when can i meet her?” kyungsoo wondered.

 

“anytime,” migs answered. he thought for a moment and then added, “she can’t go out yet though. she’s a little young so she can get sick easily if we bring her to the mall and stuff.”

 

“oh,” kyungsoo looked a little disappointed at the prospect of not seeing sexy. “i’ll just visit her then. we can go to the park.” 

 

migs nodded and kyungsoo smiled hopelessly too. migs knew the feeling.

 

“pweds ba na i bring her toys? and treats like biscuits and candies? do you have, like, dog stuff na?”

 

“ate brought it with her,” migs replied. he watched kyungsoo put on a contemplative face sa screen ng phone niya. “but it’s not like we can’t buy her stuff.”

 

kyungsoo beamed and migs could not help but feel the same bubbling happiness that he had always felt every time he would realize that that smile on kyungsoo’s face? migs put that there.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

tambay si migs sa twitter because that was where people like him would go during the late afternoons when the day had settled into an ugly lull. nasa labas na si sexy, resting sa may living room because she somehow figured that that was her space already.

 

migs’ time line was kind of dead, considering na kaunti lang ang tao na he was following. his account was public though and he was getting DMs from other people he did not know kasi he still couldn’t figure out how to have strangers messaging him random shit—mostly photos, naked photos.

 

nauna yung pagrefresh niya ng timeline niya before he received the actual notification of _Kyungsoo tagged you in a photo_.

 

**Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 5s

hey, sexy [heart eyes emoji]

[image of a smiling jongin miguel with a husky puppy, screen captured from facetime video call, with kyungsoo smiling on the smaller in-screen]

tagged in the photo: @migskim

 

it took no time for it to load and migs clicked the heart to like the tweet. he RT-ed it too for good measure and then expanded the picture. it was a screen capture that kyungsoo took awhile ago, during their facetime call. migs’ back was bent low so that his face was side by side next to sexy. the puppy was looking to the left, not towards the camera.

 

migs zoomed in to the small corner of the picture where kyungsoo was smiling. his eyes had disappeared completely and migs, even from this quality, could perfectly see his smile. his gums were showing a little bit, as well as his small teeth. his cheeks were fat and sort of red from happiness.

 

jongin miguel was not sure, actually, if the photo was that clear or if he could just see it perfectly in his mind’s eye.

 

he stared at the zoomed in picture, at the pixelated image before him. parang may malamig na tubig na bumuhos sa kanya dahil _tangina_. bakit siya nakatingin sa zoomed photo ng kaibigan niiya? migs kim did not even make a habit of zooming in or inspecting photos.

 

he quickly swiped up so that it would go back to his timeline. something war lodged itself on each of his cheeks. migs rolled over his bed, faced the right side, as he typed a reply to the tweet. 

 

**Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 4m

hey, sexy [heart eyes emoji]

[image of a smiling jongin miguel with a husky puppy, screen captured from facetime video call, with kyungsoo smiling on the smaller in-screen]

tagged on the photo: @migskim

**Migs** @migskim - 2s

hey, soo ;)

 

when he saw the time sa tabi ng tweet. migs froze. nakatitig ba siya sa photo ng ganoon katagal? moreover, bakit hindi niya napansin na ganoon na pala katagal ang minutong lumipas?

 

it did not even take a minute before jongin miguel quickly received kyungsoo’s reply to him. migs wondered kung parehas silang nakatutok sa cellphone nila, waiting to snipe each other with a reply.

 

**Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 5m

hey, sexy [heart eyes emoji]

[image of a smiling jongin miguel with a husky puppy, screen captured from facetime video call, with kyungsoo smiling on the smaller in-screen]

tagged on the photo: @migskim

**Migs** @migskim - 1m

hey, soo ;)

**Kyungsoo** @sexbombksoo - 2s

stfu di ikaw [angry face emoji]

 

natawa si migs sa tweet ni kyungsoo. binasa niya ulit yung exchange and something in his stomach churned, tilted, before it settled. he liked the tweet and continued to scroll through his timeline. the uncomfortable pit low in his stomach grew, alongside the sinking feeling.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_that was the first time that migs had noticed it. and that was also the first time, that he brushed it off, passed whatever that was for fluke_. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

there was something that migs had been wanting to do now. siguro during the first sem pa but he could not find a time to book an appointment. in between finishing papers, dealing with fuck buddies, and helping kyungsoo out, suddenly, the days had gone by without him doing anything about it.

 

ganito kasi—migs wanted a piercing. migs wanted several piercings but he settled for doon muna sa lobes ng ears niya. he wanted to get holes doon sa same area where his ates had because of gender and social norms. migs was firmly on the _fuck gender_ side and earrings were cool, okay. the ones sa lobes would be easy to take care of too as well as remove in the event na whatever work place he ended up being placed into would demand that he get rid of his earrings.

 

it was a good stepping stone. 

 

he already had a booked appointment sa same tattoo parlor where gabs had done most of his ink except doon sa una niya na sa munich niya pinagawa. sa may quezon city yung place and migs would have minded driving up north for a simple pierce when he could get it anywhere else except that—

 

**soo** : text me if lapit ka na

**soo** : so i can grab

 

medyo nagfrown si migs. the idea of kyungsoo getting a grab ticked him off. it was not like he was worried for kyungsoo’s safety kasi it was pretty secure naman, grab was safe talaga. pero—pero may something that was putting migs off. he wanted to pick kyungsoo up.

 

he debated if he should suggest it and migs spent a minute or so na nakaharap sa phone screen niya because he could not decide how to mention it to kyungsoo. should he just text him and ask him? should he just go for it? it was not like it as weird of migs to pick kyungsoo up sa house niya sa varsity hills.

 

so, go for it he would.

 

**migs** : want me to pick u up?

**migs** : daanan kita

 

kyungsoo could drive but the thing about the shorter male was the fact na, for some reason, he could not park. according to kyungsoo himself, he was a good and safe driver but for some reason he had never learned how to park the car, no matter what kind of parking he needed to. hindi raw niya majudge yung distance so he would only bring cars if he was going to places with valet parking.

 

**soo** : out of the way kaya

**soo** : it’s fine grab na lang

**soo** : see u there!!!!

 

ayaw naman ni migs maging mapilit on top of being way too obvious. he sent three thumbs up emoji kay kyungsoo and drove out of the garage.

 

kahit siya, he had no idea what he was being obvious for. it was—confusing, to say the least. migs turned the steering wheel to the right and then backed the car a little bit para makabwelo siya palabas.

 

nothing good ever came out of thinking about something too much.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nagkita nila ni kyungsoo sa isang popular na tattoo and pierce shop near EDSA. kyungsoo was actually the first one there and migs hurriedly got out of his car to enter the space.

 

hindi alam ni migs kung ano yung ineexpect niya but the inside seemed pretty… normal? it was unassuming. very underwhelming. migs was not impressed except that he had seen chanyeol gabriel’s tatts and they were pretty spectacular. very eye-catching and talagang nakakaagaw ng pansin. it was not even because of the fact that gabby had multitudes of them but because of the sheer artistry sa work ng artist. if migs were the type to get tattoos, he would get it done din sa place where gabby had gotten his.

 

may mga pictures ng artista sa wall showing off their tattoos with a short-haired man. the man, who had a full sleeve of ink, was clean cut and thin. jongin miguel roamed his eyes around the space muna before his eyes met kyungsoo na nakaupo primly and properly doon sa waiting lounge.

 

he was looking down sa phone niya, unassuming sa world around him. if migs was a worry wart, he would have worried about how kyungsoo tended to close himself off from his surroundings that he would forget that he was not the only person in the world. very deliks kasi it was easy to take advantage of someone like kyungsoo who was unaware of his surroundings. 

 

migs walked slowly kay kyungsoo and even made a show of shushing the receptionist. he tip toed papunta sa direction ng kalbong lalaki, dressed in the bomber jacket na nabili nila sa zara last time when they unexpectedly (and annoyingly) ran into baekhyun b. byun and sehun andrei oh.

 

jongin miguel quietly reached over and he gripped kyungsoo’s shoulders suddenly just as he said, “boo!”

 

“oh fuck!” kyungsoo shrieked. 

 

his voice break doon sa _fuck_ and he looked up with wild eyes, with his eyeglasses almost flying up his nose. his lips were parted open and migs had always noticed it before—how plump they were, how good it would have looked like around fingers or dick… pero now… now jongin was looking at how pink it was and how soft it looked like. kyungsoo bit his lip before he swatted migs sa thigh nito which was what he could easily reach dahil he was sitting down.

 

migs yelped and raised his arm up in a defensive gesture.

 

“miggy, gago ka,” sabi ni kyungsoo with an accusing tone. 

 

“sorry,” migs replied while chuckling low under his breath. kyungsoo’s eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was looking more and more of a moue than usual. he patted kyungsoo sa head and then his palm slipped behind to cradle the curve of kyungsoo’s skull. it fit perfectly sa palm and fingers niya.

 

“sorry na, soo,” he repeated again. “smile at miggy?”

 

putangina. parang naging self aware si migs sa narinig niyang nanggaling sa sarili niyang bibig. _smile at miggy_ —puta. puta. something was definitely wrong with him. 

 

but then—

 

but then kyungsoo looked up and he smiled the smile that migs had always been fascinated with and _damn_. 

 

damn everything all to hell because the world seemed pretty fucking perfect right now.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

he went out with brand new studs and a whole list of what to do and what not to do to his fresh pierce. migs got both lobes holed kasi the payment to get them was always by two’s. sayang naman if he only put one hole sa isang lobe tapos nagbayad siya for dalawa.

 

kyungsoo was marveling sa hikaw niya, halata with how he kept on sneaking glances at it while they were driving. 

 

“what is it?” migs said. “tanong mo na, soo.”

 

nakatingin pa rin si migs sa daan but if he wasn’t, he thought kyungsoo would have looked shy that moment.

 

“wala naman,” sagot ni kyungsoo. there was a paused before he added, “bakit mo naisipan magpa-pierce?”

 

nagsmile si migs. _wala_ pala ah.

 

“kasi i wanted to,” he asked simply.

 

“just like that?” kyungsoo replied with a dubious tone.

 

“yup,” migs nodded. “i’ve been considering it for a month or so now.”

 

“a month lang?” kyungsoo’s tone changed in pitch with the way it was tinged with surprise. 

 

“i know,” tawa ni migs. “gabby had this thing about waiting for two years about life changing decisions like tattoos and piercings but i’m more of a _go for it_ kind of guy.”

 

“seryoso ba?” natawa rin si kyungsoo. it wasn’t like migs was lying or anything.

 

“why wait, right?” sabi ni migs. “if you want to at that moment, then do it. kahit na you regret it in the end, _that_ _moment_ would always be a certainty.”

 

migs did not know if kyungsoo understood what he said with the way he hummed. he didn’t want to sneak a glance dahil he was driving even if the traffic was pretty steady anyway. 

 

he made a right turn and they dropped by sa isang pet shop before hinatid si jongin si kyungsoo sa house niya sa varsity hills. kyungsoo bought his own weight in dog treats, probably, and it was a good thing na the place accepted credit cards.

 

he handed everything to migs tapos he said, “for sexy,” like it was all normal and usual for him to buy dog treats for his friends’ pets.

 

migs hoped that it wasn’t.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

since fleshy yung part that was pierced, it was fairly quick and easy for it to heal. parang hindi nga naramdaman ni migs na nasaktan siya. he would routinely clean the area and put the temporary earrings na binili niya to keep the holes open and for them to heal around the lengths of the thin barrel. 

 

by the time new year rolled around, he had been rotting away at home, playing the NHL at general manager mode in his PS4. he spent a great deal of his life in LA so he was always playing the LA Kings. he had grown the franchise into a juggernaut and his lines had depths, his D-men were the best in the league. migs credited his success to the fact that he was using what he had learned as a management major. what his parents called waste of time, he called practice and—

 

_yes, fine_. migs was fucking bored. 

 

gabby had yet to return from san francisco but the good news was pabalik na siya in a couple of days dito sa country. si kyungsoo, meanwhile, was roped by his own parents to visit relatives sa iloilo city and migs was the only one left sa metro manila. at the very least, kyungsoo was going to return tonight and the two of them had planned to meet up tomorrow. 

 

migs was the one who set it up and he did not even care that he looked like a clingy child begging attention for his friends. kyungsoo was the only friend he had who was left in metro manila that he would willingly hang out with sober, to be honest. it’s not like the shorter male had given him the rain check. in fact, parang kasing eager niya rin magkipag-meet kay migs. maybe ilo-ilo was really boring.

 

according na rin kay kyungsoo, may ibibigay siyang belated christmas and new year’s gift kay migs. si migs naman, hindi papatalo. he had an A+ gift planned too. kyungsoo was going to cry at the sight of it.

 

migs hated waiting, most of all and he knew that this was going to be the longest night of his life.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

if someone asked migs kim why he was awake at eight in the morning, on a saturday, during the semester break, sasabihin lang niya na he really was a morning person and early riser talaga siya. if one was to ask migs kim, maybe with a gun to his temple, baka mapilitan si migs na sabihin na oo, he was excited to meet with kyungsoo later in the afternoon.

 

he knew eight AM was too early to be awake for an appointment that was for an early dinner, but well, migs had other things to do—like lounge in bed.

 

by the time it was mid-morning, nagsisisi na si migs na he did not accept a friend’s offer to go to palawan. sobrang boring. sobrang nakakatamad. tangina. kyungsoo was, like, the light at the end of the tunnel and he was the only person, or whatever else, whom migs was looking forward to seeing for today.

 

jongin miguel decided to hit the gym before lunch to burn off some excess energy. one thing was for sure, ab workouts made everything ache in the best of ways. kung papapiliin siya as to what ang pinaka favorite niyang ginagawa sa gym, he would not hesitate to answer na he preferred ab routines. 

 

syempre doon siya sa gold’s gym. he had to drive a bit but it was not like migs was doing anything important. by the time na matapos na siya sa work out niya, he managed to grab a thick protein shake and some grilled chicken for light lunch.

 

kasi nga he would grab dinner pa with kyungsoo.

 

pag-uwi niya sa house, migs immediately hit the shower. he took his time kasi maaga pa and he stood sa ilalim ng mainit na spray ng tubig. thank you, personal heater. ginamit niya yung body wash niya na amoy wood—or something like that kasi that was what the packaging was saying. he lathered himself generously and if he strayed to placed where his hand should not be, then that was for him and the shower drain to know and no one else.

 

the hardest part was picking clothes for himself. migs had no fucking idea what to wear. he was choosing between a white button down for a more classy look or a muscle tee to look casual when he stopped.

 

“ _gago, migs_ ,” sabi niya sa sarili niya. “puta. you’re getting dinner with a _friend_.” diniinan niya yung word na friend as he tossed the white button down back to his closet and pulled on the bright red muscle tee.

 

he tucked ito sa black skinny jeans that was on top of the pile and grabbed the gucci belt that was actually his sister’s pero somehow, hindi na niya nabalik. or hindi niya talaga binalik. he worried about the night being cold so he threw on a bomber jacket over everything.

 

ma-effort talaga si migs sa sarili, he told himself, as he waited for his hair to dry. mahaba na rin ito ng slight and the fades were not actually as neat and fresh pero pwede pa rin. he settled to bring na lang a baseball cap before carefully slipping the earrings through the holes on his earlobes. medyo magaling na ito, slight discomfort na lang siguro and yung getting used to the feeling na may hikaw but migs liked it. he needed to get a new pair soon.

 

with a final spritz ng pabango niya, he was out of the door with his keys, wallet, and a paper bag for kyungsoo. 

 

it’s kind of a little early still but it’s not like there’s something bad about being conscious with time.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

they met up sa up town center, at gringo, for dinner. favorite nila ito both because the chicken was good, the sides were good, _and_ they served alcohol. nasa may table sila near the door and dahil maraming tao, they had to sit across each other. gusto sana ni migs na tabi sila ni kyungsoo doon sa seat na for four people but he was not about to demand the other table since meron pang ibang customers.

 

once settled, they placed their orders—spiced southern chicken with mexican rice and mashed potatoes for kyungsoo and original southern chicken with mashed sweet potatoes and herbed mushroom for migs. migs also debated if he wanted alcohol and in the end, he settled for a glass of mojito. si kyungsoo, soda ang in-order instead.

 

once the waiter left, kyungsoo pulled the paper bag that he brought with him and handed ito kay migs. 

 

“merry chirstmas— _sort of_ ,” sabi nito. “i had another gift sana pero you…” he trailed off before gesturing sa direction ni migs. “… so pinalitan ko gift ko last minute.”

 

jongin watched as kyungsoo pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, something na he learned to be a nervous tick of the other male. kinuha niya yung maliit na paper bag sa taas ng table and held it close.

 

he tugged the small ribbon holding it closed before pulling the length away and setting it muna sa table. walang card or anything but he knew na hindi naman sentimental si kyungsoo that way. the shorter man would say what he wanted to say directly rather than isulat pa sa card and be extra cheesy.

 

inside was a small box and migs lifted it out of the bag. he seemed to have a pretty good idea what was inside. he lifted the lid and was greeted with two red studs in the middle of the cushion.

 

“it’s almost your birthday na rin, right?” kyungsoo asked. hindi pa naman january 14 but it was almost migs’ (and kyungsoo’s, actually) birthday. the man across migs’ gulped and he pushed his glasses again, smiling shyly, “birthstone natin ‘yan—garnet.”

 

“aren’t these expensive?” migs could not help but softly ask. hindi niya alam kung saan siya tititig, sa twin red nestled inside the box or sa twin brown eyes in front of him.

 

in the end, migs ducked his head down and gazed at the precious stones.

 

narinig niyang umubo si kyungsoo as migs carefully plucked one earring. he held it up just a little as kyungsoo replied, “hindi naman sobra. the cut wasn’t anything fancy and the rest is silver. sana hindi ka allergic?”

 

migs chanced a look sa kasama niya and he could see the garnet bleeding into kyungsoo’s cheeks as well. the color looked prettier there, caught underneath pale skin. 

 

migs smiled and said, “no. hindi ako allergic.” he placed the earrings down ulit before he started taking what he was wearing off. he delighted na kyungsoo’s wide eyes turned even wider. the moment na natanggal niya na mga hikaw niya, he watched kyungsoo watch him. dahan dahan na sinuot ni migs yung dalawang earrings na bigay ni kyungsoo. once done, he leaned back.

 

ngumiti si migs. “bagay ba?”

 

kyungsoo nodded eagerly and said, “yes. they’re bagay!”

 

a part of migs felt happy at the compliment and not even the usual happy due to ego stroke. he felt genuinely pleased and everything felt foreign. migs tugged at his right ear and smiled sheepishly.

 

“thanks,” he muttered. kinuha na rin niya yung paper bag na dala niya and handed it to kyungsoo. “now my christmas slash birthday gift looked stupid in comparison.”

 

kyungsoo shook his head and—siya pala yung type who would carefully remove the staple instead of just ripping the bag open. kinuha ni kyungsoo yung content nito which was—

 

“sumayaw, sumunod the best of sexbomb girls album?” he asked with a breath voice. tangina. 

 

hiyang-hiya si migs. for one, after ng earrings na bigay ni kyungsoo, his gift really _did_ seem kind of stupid. parang ang gago.

 

kahit na he had to scour kalahati ng metro manila for the album, parang ang insignificant nito compared sa hikaw na bigay ni kyungsoo. 

 

“open it,” sabi pa rin ni migs. the best part of the gift was inside. jongin miguel steeled himself kasi kahit na the gift seemed as unsentimental in comparison to kyungsoo’s gift to him, he knew how much this would mean to kyungsoo. at least.

 

maybe migs was just trying to convince himself.

 

binuksan ni kyungsoo ang album and he picked up the album jacket, yung mini booklet sa loob nito, and then he flipped it open.

 

kyungsoo gasped and looked at migs with wide eyes as he continued na magbuklat ng pages.

 

“oh my god,” sabi ni kyungsoo. he was clutching the small album booklet with both his hands. “you got their signatures?”

 

nagnod si migs. he had to pull some strings—well, his grandma had to pull some strings—but he was the one who personally met most of the (ex-) members to get their autographs. it took him three days of driving around and greeting people.

 

“do you like it? it’s kinda insignificant compared to the earrings you got me though,” sabi ni migs softly.

 

“no, it’s not!” kyungsoo shook his head vehemently before he added in a gentle voice, like it wasn’t even meant to be said, “i love it, miggy,” then, he looked up kay jongin miguel with a wide smile and—

 

migs felt something inside him shook at the sight, like tiny earthquakes happening one after another. he clenched his fist that was resting on top of the table and dug his fingers against the skin of his palm to calm himself down—to try to bring everything back to the way it was bago yung explosions.

 

kyungsoo’s smile made migs’ world tremble.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nagstay muna sila sa up town dahil merong performance sa may amphitheater. hindi alam ni migs kung bakit feeling niya nahihilo siya when isang basong mojito lang naman ang nainom niya. he didn’t want to risk it kaya nagdecide na lang siya na magpalipas ng oras around the mall. kyungsoo was easy for it and they both walked around lang until they found out about the performance.

 

the artists weren’t particularly famous or anything. from what jongin had heard they were a bunch of fresh college grads with a pretty niche following. medyo marami pa ring spectators kaya nasa bandang sulok lang silang dalawa ni kyungsoo. 

 

he hadn’t heard of the band at all, prior to this, but kyungsoo seemed enamored with the way the main vocalist of the band was just getting ready to start a new song. 

 

“miggy,” sabi ni kyungsoo quietly. migs made a small _hm?_ noise before he leaned downwards, tilting his head pababa kay kyungsoo. 

 

“alam mo bang i’ve always to be in a band?” kyungsoo was still looking ahead, pinapanood as the tall vocalist leaned and to say, “ _our next song’s pretty popular—sort of. thank you, rivermaya._ ” merong scattered laughter sa crowd and jongin figured some of them knew what song the band was talking about or it was probably an inside joke that the fans had with the band.

 

“yeah? you sing?” he asked. kyungsoo had himself wrapped around his arms and migs could see how tight he was holding himself because of the night chill. 

 

migs took his own bomber jacket off and nilapag niya ito sa balikat ni kyungsoo. he shivered dahil he was wearing a muscle tee lang and magpro-protest na sana si kyungsoo if not for his glare. 

 

“i _can_ sing,” madiin na sabi ni kyungsoo, medj petulant. migs watched the way kyungsoo wrapped the jacket around himself and felt warm, in an instant.

 

natawa si migs. “yeah. i remember your drunken sexbomb concert. you’re a good singer but your dancing needs some improvement.”

 

“gago ka,” reply ni kyungsoo. the vocalist leaned into the mic after he exchanged looks with his bandmates.

 

“ _anyway, here’s to all the people na confused, scared, and stupid_. _we promise it gets better_.”

 

nagsimula na yung bokalista. si kyungsoo, nakatingin sa kumakanta. si migs, nakatingin kay kyungsoo.

 

“ _to speak or not to, where to begin—_ ”

 

rinig ni migs yung umpisa ng kanta—he could not remember the title but he knew the song by the lyrics. the band had probably rearranged it and put their own spin to the melody. compared sa previous song that was only a pop-rock hybrid, ito medyo blues, jazzy, basta something relaxing with a slight zap down the spine. it reminded jongin miguel of radio stations frozen in the 1960s. 

 

“ _a great dilemmas I'm finding myself in—_ ”

 

sobrang fascinated ng mukha ni kyungsoo as he watched the singer. his glasses slipped down and jongin miguel traced the length of his nose bride with his eyes, and then an imaginary finger. tinulak ni kyungsoo pataas yung salamin niya and migs eyes dropped down to kyungsoo’s soft mouth. 

 

“ _for all I know you only see me as a friend—_ ”

 

kyungsoo was humming along now, probably following the patterns of the melody. it was pretty easy and predictable. migs stepped a little closer sa tabi ni kyungsoo until their shoulders were brushing, or at least yung shoulder ni kyungsoo was brushing the outside of his arm.

 

“i _tried to tell myself wake up fool—_ ”

 

naramdaman ni migs na nagtwitch yung kamay niya so he placed it inside the pocket of his jeans. he took a glance sa floor before lifting his eyes and looking at kyungsoo again. madilim na, they were in a badly lit corner kasi this area was less crowded. the only light was yung ilaw from inside the mall.

 

“t _his fairy tale's got to end.”_

 

sumayaw yung mga ilaw sa mukha ni kyungsoo and migs felt a part of him just—move, dislodging itself from a variety of parts. his heart pounded and he wanted to look anywhere else, anywhere but kyungsoo, pero hindi niya magawa.

 

nakatingin pa rin si jongin miguel kay kyungsoo as the vocalist continued singing about how he had never been more sure and migs almost rolled his eyes because how can you find a person that would make you so sure, so sure that you had never wanted anyone more. how can one be so sure that they had found a person that was everything they could have wanted and more?

 

and of course, because the universe thought of migs as one big cosmic joke. kyungsoo smiled a little to himself and the light reflected a soft pink against his cheek and all jongin miguel kim could think of was—

 

_the fucking song had a point. maybe you could be so sure._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

hinatid ni migs si kyungsoo hanggang sa gate ng bahay nila. the two of them were in the car still, right outside kyungsoo’s gate. hindi pa bumababa sa kyungsoo as he fiddled with the handle of the paper bag containing his gift from migs. 

 

“miggy,” sabi ni kyungsoo sabay tingin kay migs. “thanks for the gift—and for tonight.”

 

hindi alam ni jongin ang nangyari but one moment, kyungsoo was smiling at him and the next, the smaller male had leaned in to kiss him sa cheek.

 

“soo, what—” migs said but was abruptly cut off kasi kyungsoo got out of the car and ran inside the safety of his property.

 

migs didn’t know how long he had sat there, on the driver’s seat of his car, trying to figure out kung bakit hindi siya makahinga. hindi niya alam what he was doing until he had to drive away and grip the steering wheel because he realized that he had been caressing his cheek with his thumb.

 

the song from awhile ago was playing inside his head and migs could not help but wonder why his heart was beating too fast, out of sync as the raspy vocals filtered in his ears, as if he was still right there, in the middle of the crowd and staring at kyungsoo’s face. 

 

_To speak or not to, where to begin_

_A great dilemmas I'm finding myself in_

_For all I know you only see me as a friend_

_I tried to tell myself wake up fool_

_This fairy tale's got to end_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**migs** : hey i got home alreads

**migs** : ty for the night soo

 

iyan ang first thing na ginawa ni migs once he was inside the safety of his bedroom. hindi pa siya nakakapagpalit ng damit but he texted kyungsoo agad so the other man would know na nakauwi na siya. 

 

**soo** : yeah

**soo** : ummmmm

**soo** : about the kiss

 

migs stopped short. he got of his muscle tee and tossed it sa floor before plopping down sa bed. his right hand reached for his jeans before he popped the button off using only two fingers. pinanood niya na nagtype si kyungsoo, the _typing_ logo appearing tapos it disappeared. after a second or two, it disappeared again.

 

naghintay siya for a good minute but it seemed like kyungsoo had passed the ball to his court. migs was now the one who had to play it but the problem was he had no fucking idea how. feeling niya, he was suddenly thrusted into a game without any idea what the rules were. parang, sure talo agad siya hindi pa man niya nalalaro ang bola.

 

he wanted to type that he preferred na they talk about it pero, gago, wala. hindi niya magawang i-send yung una niyang message. the time was ticking down too and ayaw ni migs na magtagal yung pag-iisip niya because it would look like, yes, _nag-iisip siya_. pinag-iisipan niya.

 

in the end, he settled for a quick and painless text.

 

**migs** : it’s ayt

**migs** : cheek lang naman

**migs** : means nothing soo

**migs** : i know u just love my gift a lot

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

walang reply.

 

walang anything.

 

migs felt like he was stuck in a limbo. three days na ang nakakalipas after that night, gabby had finally come back sa philippines, pero si migs naiwan pa rin ata sa ilalim ng gabi yung pag-iisip niya. all he could think about was the entirety of that night and every time na isusuot niya yung hikaw na bigay ni kyungsoo, napapatigil siya. 

 

naalala niya yung kiss sa cheek and _tangina_ , migs had kissed people on way more vulgar body parts, at way more inappropriate places, pero bakit yung labi ni kyungsoo sa pisngi niya, hindi matanggal sa utak niya?

 

add to the fact na, kyungsoo seemed to be avoiding him. they exchanged a couple of texts but they were all too… casual.

 

migs hated the fuck out of them.

 

he would try to text kyungsoo and invite him out but he just kept on declining and declining until migs just stopped. ayaw niyang magmukhang clingy or mang-invade ng space ni kyungsoo. even he was confused. 

 

puta naman kasi ng halik na ‘yun sa pisngi. migs did not know what to make of it. he did not know what to make of kyungsoo and why the other man was making this awkward. wala naman dapat maging awkward. sure, migs did not make a habit of kissing his friends sa cheek but if kyungsoo wanted to do that, then go. who was he to complain and say no?

 

migs had done worse sa iba niyang ‘ _friends’_ and while a kiss on the cheek sounded intimate given the circumstances, he could and would adjust. migs would bend backwards for a reply and an affirmative na _yes, migs, let’s hang cos i’m free_.

 

pero wala. laging _no_ or _no, i need to visit my lola_ or _my dad said no_ or _my kuya wanted me to go with him sa greenbelt_. lahat na ata ng mall, navisit ni kyungsoo in three days with various other relatives. migs really did not want to assume pero anong iisipin niya when kyungsoo’s last na pagdecline sa invite niya—a grand total of three hours ago—involved bringing his cousin’s nephew’s pet to the vet? 

 

so now he was two things. one, he was confused. two, he was pissed. and the latter was winning as he kept on staring at the message, reading it over and over again. kyungsoo did not even use emojis or whatever. 

 

tangina naman ng kiss sa cheek na ‘yan. migs already said na he was fine, it didn’t mean anything. and while it was not the whole truth, it was not a lie either. migs passed the play to kyungsoo, bahala na siya kung ano ang gagawin niya. 

 

_fuck. tangina._ now, sobrang pissed na lang talaga niya and frustrated. he needed to take a breather out kasi _putangina_. putangina talaga ng halik sa pisngi na hindi mawala sa utak niya. _gago_.

 

isang mabilis na text sa best friend niya ang tingin niyang magso-solve nito. maybe he could also sort himself out. get whatever he was feeling out of the way. maybe he was just horny, or sexually frustrated, that’s why hindi siya makapag-isip ng maayos?

 

when’s the last night he got laid? probably before finals week pa. definitely no action during the last few weeks of the sem when he was half cramming everything. a quick fuck sounded good right now—not to mention company. he really wanted company right now.

 

and also, alcohol. when in doubt, the answer is always A— A for Alak.

 

**migs** : gabs g tonight inom?

 

hindi niya kailangan maghintay ng reply dahil mabilis sumagot si gabriel sa text niya.

 

**gabs** : g it

**gabs** : thought u’d never ask

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

migs ended up sa isang famous walwal place sa BGC at a little before midnight. maraming tao and shit but they got a table to themselves because gabby invited a couple of friends over. _friends_ was a loose term because most of the people na kamasa niya, migs would only hang out with in two contexts—one was now, with alcohol (preferably, lots and lots of it) and two was during football, either playing on the pitch or playing sa PS4 ng FIFA. 

 

one of them managed to score them a table kahit na very impromptu but that was because the dude was the son of a pretty famous politician who was always on the news for the wrong things. migs wasn’t very close with him but he brought his own security and driver, most probably to guard the guy _from himself_ rather than from other people.

 

he was nursing his pang-lang bote ng beer na—german dahil this place was pretentious as fuck on top of being noisy. sige lang siya ng sige, mixing drinks and what not dahil god invented grab for a reason. siya yung nauuna sa pag-inom, beer bottle counts and shot glasses slammed sa table. yung ibang kasama nila were already running around the place with girls (or guys sa case nung other two).

 

gabby was seated beside him, sprawled sa upuan with a bottle of beer loosely held sa isang kamay.

 

“dude, come on,” sabi nito. gabby’s finger was tracing the rim of the bottle and jongin miguel took a huge gulp from his. “what’s wrong? you’ve beens silent since kanina.”

 

“nah,” answer ni migs. his mind was starting to go foggy and his words were half way into being slurred out of his own mouth. “i’m not. i’m confused as fuck, gabs.”

 

hindi nakita ni migs kung tumaas ba ang kilay ni gabby but he was sure that it would have with what he had just said. 

 

“confused about?” gabby asked. 

 

“none of your business, gago,” reply ni migs. gabby would be the last person he was going to tell this to.

 

“make kwento, tangina,” gabby egged on. “i missed all the drama, no? because i was in san francisco.”

 

“yeah,” migs drawled. “i was so bored. feeling ko natanga na ko.”

 

“you’ve always been stupid,” sabi ni gabby while laughing. “but now you get to be stupid _and_ drunk.”

 

hindi magawang matawa ni migs so he just finished the bottle of beer—hindi na niya talaga matandaan how many he’d already had. there was an extra sa table so he took that too and continued drinking. 

 

gabby elbowed him to the side to catch his attention before he whistled.

 

“girl on your two o clock,” he said. gabby must have not been to drunk yet. migs turned his attention to the left and gabs snorted, adding, “your _other_ two o clock.”

 

lumingon si migs sa kanan and sure enough, there was a girl who was lightly swaying her hips to beat.

 

“type mo,” gabs said.

 

yes, type ni migs. small and curvy, with wide hips and a fat ass. her boobs were spilling out of her low cut dress and migs judged na they were real because no fake boob would carelessly be put in an ill fitting bodice, not when they would cost hundred thousand a pop.

 

migs stood up and chanyeol gabriel gave an impressed whistle as migs walked to the girl who maintained eye contact.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

he dragged the woman to his table and migs could not remember her name for the life of him. she didn’t seem to mind either way because migs had better uses of his mouth that say her name. 

 

currently, nakaupo sila sa table that was vacant and migs was running his hands up and down the sides of her body. she was a little on the plush side, all soft and pliant sa lap ni migs—exactly how he liked it.

 

they were lazily making out and drinking sa empty table and migs' fingers were pressing hard on the woman’s inner thigh. his hand had crept underneath her dress and every time the girl would wiggle on top of him to grind her ass against his lap or crotch, the back of migs’ hand would brush against lace. 

 

he was massaging circles on her flesh and his blunt fingernails were lightly scratching the skin. she seemed to like those a lot so migs alternated the pressure and the tickling caresses.

 

mga two bottles of alcohol siguro between the two of them, more migs than her drinking, to be honest, gabby returned and leaned sa back ng couch with a low whistle.

 

the girl jumped up but migs held her at the thigh so she would not go anywhere. gabby’s face was as straight as anyone who was used to seeing migs sucking faces at clubs so migs just rose one eyebrow and mouthed, “what?”

 

“not to interrupt you or anything—” he nodded a little bit sa kanya at sa babaeng hindi pa rin matandaan ni migs ang name except that she liked tequila shots, judging by the bitterness on her tongue and the slight salt migs was tasting on her lips.

 

gabby lifted his phone and said, deadpan, “—kyungsoo’s gonna swing by. try not to scare him.”

 

migs should probably register what his best friend was saying but the woman on his lap turned around and started sucking on migs’ neck. his fingers hitched higher and brushed lace once more and gabby gave him a _look_ that meant he was judging migs.

 

migs did not care as his other hand ran higher on the side, loving how the woman felt like underneath the warmth of his palm.

 

they continued drinking and lazily making out and it started getting heavy half way into one of his friends coming back and just closing his eyes against the back of the couch. one side, the side that was away from the sight of the crowd, was already hitched up. there wasn’t much of a dress to begin with but migs watched the rucked up fabric and the peek of black lace. her hips were spilling out from the band and migs’ index finger traced the hem of the panties slowly.

 

she shivered over him. migs kind of wondered where the usual security was to stop the both of them, considering they were in a pretty risqué position. but logistics aside, maybe he was finally about to get lucky.

 

his other hand was cupped under the girl’s large chest and migs was dropping open mouthed kisses doon sa exposed neck. she was trying to press herself closer and migs was too occupied by the way her weight was on him that he failed to notice that gabby was walking papunta sa table nila with a short male in tow.

 

he only vaguely saw the shadow of a small man before the girl was whispering sa tenga niya.

 

“i have an apartment—” she said. “—just close by.”

 

hindi na nag-isip si migs, he just stood up. the girl was tottering on her heels as she pulled her out. they didn’t bother waiting for grab kasi just in time, merong cab na nag pull over. the previous passengers eyed the way they fell on a heap inside but at least they did not say anything. 

 

no matter how drunk migs might be, parang every time na nasa taxi siya or sa grab car, he never, ever made out with the person he was with. for him kasi, that was basic human decency. he was drunk, yes, and maybe he could not think as clearly as usual but habits were habits and one of his was to keep his mouth to himself inside the car.

 

the girl didn’t seem to mind but she was massaging the inside of migs’ leg. her long fingers were tracing the inseam of his jeans. migs didn’t pay attention to anything, and allowed himself to focus sa sensations.

 

when she said na her apartment was close by, migs didn’t expect she meant a couple of blocks away. they honestly could have walked there if they weren’t in a rush and if walking would not kill the mood. she lived in one of the high rises scattered near the area and she grabbed her purse, slipped the taxi driver probably way more cash that what was on their meter and then they’re off.

 

the elevator ride up was quiet and there was a CCTV camera inside so migs shoved his hand sa pockets niya even if the girl pressed her front against his in a mock embrace. migs tilted his head and breathed in just as the elevator pinged open.

 

paglabas nila, they stumbled sa hallway hurriedly. they stopped in front of one of the units tapos the girl unlocked the door. the space was tiny, as expected, but migs did not really give a damn right now.

 

tinulak niya yung babae sa wall and pushed her tight dress up her thighs, until all the fabric was gathered sa waist. she made a small noise as migs’ hands gripped her at the hips, right above the band of her panties.

 

migs went to her neck agad because her head was already tilted to the side. he trailed kisses down the length of her shoulders, stopping at the edge before he latched sa collar bone niya. it wasn’t very apparent but he nosed on it a bit. his fingers were drawing little lines sa katawan ng babae sa harap niya and she bucked her hips up, when migs’ thumb brushed against the lace of her panties.

 

“bed,” she breathed out.

 

nagnod si migs and let himself be pulled by the woman sa sole kama sa studio unit niya. tinulak ng babae si migs and she climbed on top of him, sitting on his thighs. migs’ hands went on her ass as he massaged the flesh on his palms.

 

his mouth was kissing on the tops of her right boob and the girl arched her back as migs chased her.

 

his index fingers slipped underneath the panties so the pads of them were making contact with her one night stand’s bare ass. migs had a condom sa wallet niya and a lube too, just in case she wanted to take it up the ass or she needed to be more wet.

 

she started grinding herself against migs and he moaned, holding her ass tighter sa kamay niya. one of her hands were palming his dick over his jeans and deft fingers undid the button, pushing his fly down.

 

the heel of her palm was doing a good job at making migs hard and he was grunting at the motions she was doing against his dick _and_ against his torso. 

 

“ _shit,_ ” he cursed. his fingers slipped even lower as he cupped her through her underwear.her ass was fat and migs spanked it a little bit, delighting that the ass cheek bounced. he grunted, “ _fuck, kyungsoo_.”

 

hindi niya alam where that even came from but the girl giggled, and asked, “who’s kyungsoo?” she ran her fingers over the cotton of migs’ underwear and added, “i’m not kyungsoo, migs.”

 

parang malamig na tubig yung bumuhos kay migs sa words ng babae sa kandungan niya. _i’m not kyungsoo_ rang inside the room and probably echoed. this was probably the fastest he had sobered up. that had to be some world record right there.

 

migs was too fucking out of it to worry about the clench in his chest so he pulled the woman closer towards him and kissed her hard, trying to forget the name. he would just keep his mouth shut because he worried that next time, baka hindi na lang name ang masabi niya. migs did not know if he could handle spilling his feelings all over the place right now so instead, he just focused on the feeling of another body against his.

 

he was groping her chest, thumbing through the fabric to press down at her nipple, and migs pulled the zipper at the back of her dress undone. he unhooked her bra with one hand, pinching two fingers together. the girl started rubbing her ass off of him but kyungsoo’s name was playing inside his head.

 

she pulled away and took hold of migs’ shirt, pushing it up and running her nails sa ridges ng abs ni migs. she licked her bottom lip and smiled slightly and all migs could do—

 

all migs could do was think of kyungsoo—kyungsoo’s face and kyungsoo’s smile and the way kyungsoo would look at migs, like he was glad migs was there.

 

“ _tangina_ ,” he said. “ _fuck. tangina—wait._ ”

 

the girl shot him a confused look probably because the curse didn’t sound turned on but frustrated and pained.

 

“gago,” he added. migs pushed her off of him and continued, “i’m really sorry.”

 

he stood up and the girl was sitting helpless sa bed pa rin as migs ran his fingers sa buhok niya. realization dawned at the woman sprawled on top of the mattress and she started fixing herself up too.

 

migs pulled his zipper up and buttoned his jeans. he didn’t bother tucking in his shirt. 

 

“i—i’m sorry,” migs said. “i can’t—not tonight. it’s not y—”

 

“it’s not me, yeah,” she nodded lang and pulled her dress lower down his thighs. “it’s you.”

 

walang magawa si migs but nod and apologize again. the girl brushed him off and she had on a contemplative look. 

 

“dahil kay _kyungsoo_?” she put air quotations sa _kyungsoo_ and migs did not even bother opening his mouth and using his words, afraid of what he was going to say to a stranger with no name.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nakaupo si migs sa curb outside the woman’s apartment. it was already really late at night—really early morning? but he was just sitting there like a fool, looking at the darkness and the other side of the road.

 

hawak niya yung cellphone niya and he tapped the screen and ended up calling one person. except, gabby was not picking up.

 

“tangina, gabriel park,” migs said in frustration. he wanted to talk to someone and finally get what was weighing his chest down that it made it harder to breathe. “wala kang kwenta, gago.”

 

he tried dialing the number again and was met with the same no answer. migs glared at the screen of his phone and how his best friend was not answering in his time of need. he huffed an annoyed exhale of breath and figured that gabby was probably getting some too.

 

migs debated on who to call. he could not exactly call his sisters or his parents because that was just— _no_. he was pretty sure he did not want his other friends to know about what he was going to say.

 

one, he did not trust them enough not to judge him or make fun of him and two, it was too personal just to tell to another person. even migs himself had never said it out loud.

 

a contact name popped out as he was scrolling and he clicked their messages together. the last time they had talked lay was talking about how he had never seen his girlfriend for quite sometime because said girlfriend’s husband was getting too suspicious already.

 

migs did not want to tell lay, who was having an affair with an older married woman, anymore than he wanted to tell his other friends but for some reason, the last message from lay zhang himself prompted migs to call him.

 

it said: _thanks for listening bro anytime you have a prob call me too_.

 

so migs did.

 

he was not sure what to expect but a few rings and yixing was accepting the facetime audio. a sleepy voice greeted migs and a loud yawn.

 

“what’s up?” lay said. migs heard some rustling and a low pitched tone that was _not_ of a woman asking yixing to return to bed. 

 

so the affair was over, migs thought absentmindedly.

 

“you said i could call if i ever have a problem,” migs opened the conversation. he was close enough with yixing that a _hello_ or a _hi_ was unnecessary and a waste of time.

 

yixing yawned again.

 

“how much money do you need?”

 

migs stopped short and—

 

“ _what?_ ”

 

he could practically hear yixing rolling his eyes as the other man slurred, “it’s close to 3 in the morning in the philippines right now, migs. you’re calling me because you have a problem—” lay yawned again, shallowly this time. “—it can only be money. so how much, when do you need it wired, and what am i bailing you out for?”

 

“gago,” mura ni migs. “i don’t need bail money.”

 

“doesn’t have to be you,” yixing said nonchalantly. “it could be gabs.”

 

migs snorted. “no. neither of us are currently in jail.”

 

“well, that’s good—but also boring,” yixing replied, offhanded. “so what’s the problem.”

 

migs took a deep breath and for a moment, may katahimikan na namayani sa parehas na linya ng tawag. ramdam niya yung pagclench ng other hand niya into a fist before he loosened it out. migs looked at his palm, at the lines of it.

 

“migs?” yixing asked. he sounded worried.

 

migs took another inhale and blew it out slowly. 

 

“lay, i think i’m in love.”

 

there was silence again before a sharp intake of breath.

 

“ _puta_ ,” sabi ni yixing. “tangina, migs. ano?”

 

migs steeled himself. “i think i’m in love.” he paused before he shook his head kahit na hindi naman makikita ni yixing. “nah. i’m in love. i’m in love with someone, lay. _puta_.”

 

“are you sure?” yixing sounded a little bit borderline hysterical.

 

“yes,” migs replied. he had never sounded more sure in his life than whe had said that one word.

 

isang pause ulit from both of them and migs just stared towards the distance, thinking of smiles and pretty eyes.

 

mayroong exhale na narinig si migs from the other line.

 

“is it me?” yixing asked flatly.

 

“what the fuck?!” migs almost yelped. “no, it’s not you!”

 

“then why are you calling me?” yixing said. he said it in a way that was patient. like he was trying to explain a particularly easy concept to a three year old bratty child. 

 

migs would be offended if he was not feeling relief. relief that he had said what he had been trying not to name for the past how long now. he had always been feeling it, always wondering, always confused. he was denying it to himself but maybe the alcohol, ironically, cleared his fucking mind. finally. 

 

or maybe it just made him braver, lowered his inhibitions a little bit, so he could finally admit it even just to himself.

 

it felt like he was holding a secret before, a secret that he was keeping even from himself. but now that it was out there, migs felt lighter, less guilty because he was honest, even if he was being honest to one other person and to himself.

 

“i—i don’t know,” migs confessed. “i needed to say it out loud.”

 

there was another sigh but this time, it sounded—migs furrowed his eyebrows. it sounded fond?

 

“jongin miguel kim,” yixing exhaled. migs, for some reason, could hear the slight smile in his voice. “if you want to say it out loud, say it to the person you’re in love with.”

 

migs took in another sharp breath and all he could do was rush out, “ _fuck, lay_. bye,” before he was ending the call. 

 

he could hear the tail ends of laughter from yixing’s line but migs pulled up another contact and with shaking fingers, he pressed the call icon and waited.

 

and waited.

 

and waited.

 

and—

 

kyungsoo was not answering.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_and that is because, like any other story that would have been solved by its characters being omnipotent and omnipresent, it was kyungsoo who walked in_ _with gabby park right in the middle of the narrative, in the club, but he wasn’t really there to witness everything until its conclusion_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you, geal :>


	12. just do it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minsan nike tagline, madalas love advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sort of unbeta-ed cos like we got no electricity but i still wanna put out this chapter

the moment na magtouchdown ang eroplanong sinasakyan ni gabriel sa NAIA, hindi naman niya agad naisip na meron na pa lang mali sa hangin na nilalanghap niya. he went through the usual process, something he was used to already, dahil buong buhay na niya siyang pumupunta sa san francisco every time meron siyang break with nothing to do. 

 

his head was throbbing just a bit and the heat of metro manila was still unbearable today, kahit na it was still january and malamig na dapat ang panahon. maybe the heat was just unusual, he thought. this should have served as a warning already pero of course, gabby had never been the superstitious kind. the most superstitious he had been was when would knock on wood—other than that, gabs did not really believe in signs or anything.

 

so the first day he was back, he mostly just ignored everyone and took a long, hot shower to get himself rid of the smell of the plane. he slept the hours off until he mostly felt human. he was living on his own already, at the one-bedroom condo his parents had bought for him when he passed ateneo and decided that yes, he wanted to live alone and become independent. never mind na his parents would transfer cash monthly to his debit card and would still pay his credit card or the fact that they bought his car and their house helper would come by every week sa condo ni gabby to clean the entire place.

 

gabby always did like living the illusion. 

 

he was lazily texting everyone, spending one day in the gym to get rid of the extra weight he had put on while eating in ’n’ out burgers four times a week. it was one of his guilty pleasures that he could only indulge kapag bumibisita siya sa relatives niya in the west coast.

 

the lull was broken on the third or fourth day. gabby was actually not so sure dahil ang sense of time niya was still wack as hell. tanginang, time difference ‘yan. hindi na rin alam ni gabby kung anong araw na. breaks always did that to him kasi his days were not marked by the subjects he was taking. he was kind of missing the ateneo bell too, for all its distinctively ugly and pavlovian qualities.

 

buti na lang, migs texted him before noon. gabby was already awake, thank god, when migs asked him kung g siya na uminom. of course, the only response would be a yes dahil in gabby park’s vocabulary, hindi dapat tinatanggihan ang alak. 

 

for him, it was always going to be A for Alak.

 

and because gabby was feeling kind, he told migs na siya na ang bahala sa lahat. he rounded up friends that they would usually play football with and most of them were down to hang out and get drunk. as previously said, no one would say no to alak. he made sure that he invited someone that would instantly get them a table because VIPs who brought their own security, while usually assholes, were at least useful.

 

now gabby had never been superstitious and he had never believed in any of those _jinxing_ bullshit so he did not really think much of it when he hopefully thought that he could bring someone home tonight.

 

san francisco had a couple of quick hook ups but gabby did like his one night stands local, cursing him out in two languages.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

by the time he was blowing his hair dry, narealize ni gabby that he had not received any texts from his favorite people, like, at all. he checked his messages and found it dry from the people na he was always game na makausap—b, migs, and of course, si kyungsoo. not necessarily in any order other than alphabetical.

 

gabby expected migs not to text. the other male was probably stewing or some shit. migs _had never_ asked to drink unless he wanted to get drunk or hook up and both events were, more often than not, a prelude to one another. either he would get drunk then hook up or hook up and then get drunk. migs was fairly predictable and most of the days, when migs was looking for a quick club one night stand, meron siyang problema or something of the sort. he wasn’t going to hound migs about it though—the other male was a grown adult and until migs started self destructing or some shit, gabby would happily indulge his best friend with his bullshit. 

 

he was surprised with kyungsoo and b though. kyungsoo was usually an avid texter, probably because he was quiet in real life—or too lazy to talk. gabby had suspected the latter for quite some time now so he would just let kyungsoo get enough steam that he could chatter on and on. kyungsoo’s soft voice was a pleasant sound to listen too, like gabby was tuning in to a podcast except kyungsoo would discuss weird shit like conspiracy theories and mysteries. 

 

now, b—b would usually send memes at the rate of three per hour. sometimes more. it always made gabby laugh even if he would not reply to them. he languidly scrolled sa messages nila, reading far back until noong nasa san francisco pa siya where the time difference had made it hard for him and b to keep track of each other aside from good mornings and good nights and how’s your days.

 

he tapped the message area and trained the blow dryer on a patch of hair the was still a little damp, starting to tap the letters and tap his text with only his index finger while the phone rested sa couch and he was bent in half.

 

**gabby** : heyyy b [LOL emoji, LOL emoji, LOL emoji]

**gabby** : whatssup

**gabby** : g inom later?

 

he did not exactly invite b before because gabby sort of just figured out that the point of the impromptu BGC excursion was to go home with a stranger and probably bragged about it on their messages—not go home with the person they had come with.

 

b did not reply and chanyeol gabriel sort of pouted—sort of. he knew naman na b had his own life and it was around dinner time so he was probably eating his meal, maybe with other people too. his hair had fully dried out and he was in the process of braiding it down the middle when his phone finally vibrated. he looked down and saw b’s name but decided to ignore it for a bit in favor of finishing his own braid.

 

he pulled a section of hair over the other, and then another section over that in a criss cross. he repeated it carefully for a few more times before he finally reached the end that was more or less a centimeter in length. he tied it quickly with a goodie hair tie that he stole from his older sister’s bag upon arriving in the philippines and realizing how fucking hot it was.

 

once he had made the final loop, he rolled his shoulders for a bit because braiding one's own hair took a lot of straining muscles. it was practically a work out all on its own. gabby was stretching his left arm when he finally picked his phone from the sofa.

 

he unlocked the device and went to his messages to check b’s reply and what he was up to.

 

**b** : depends

**b** : who r we going w [pair of eyes emoji, pair of eyes emoji, pair of eyes emoji]

 

**gabby** : migs, danny, ian, chua, lee, some more guys depends

**gabby** : ano g? r u at qc? 

 

mabilis ang reply ni b and chanyeol heaved a disappointed sigh sa reply.

 

**b** : yes @ sm blue rn

**b** : but……..

**b** : rain check gabs [crying emoji, crying emoji, crying emoji]

 

**gabby** : you r saying no to ALAK?!?!?!??!

 

**b** : yes

**b** : for dick

**b** : cos i got some appointment for tonaaaayyttt 

**b** : [tongue emoji, wet emoji, eggplant emoji]

 

gabby could not help but snort at how juvenile baekhyun’s message was but that was baekhyun b. byun through and through. they were not exclusive fubus or anything so it was not like he was expecting b to drop his sort of, kind of Date for Dick just because gabby wanted to go out with him.

 

gabriel was not bitter, not really, but it would be a lie to say he was happy about b’s refusal. he did miss baekhyun, after all. but since he was a good friend, who wished nothing but bomb dick for baekhyun, he replied.

 

**gabby** : enjoy [peach emoji, peach emoji]

**gabby** : but not too much ;))))

**gabby** : and holla @ me if he’s boring [LOL emoji]

 

**b** : LOL of course 

**b** : tho i doubt na he would meet your lvl

**b** : you [flexed bicep emoji, fire emoji] are still [distraught face emoji, crying face emoji] the bombest [bomb emoji, bomb emoji, bomb emoji] dick [egg plant emoji, chili emoji, hotdog sandwich emoji] i’ve ever had [drooling emoji, drooling emoji, drooling emoji]

 

natawa si gabby and just like that, he already felt lighter, better. 

 

b had always had that effect on him, like a personal sun that was chasing away all the dark clouds looming over gabby’s head, beating him down with light and warmth.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

pagka-upo pa lang nila, the moment opened beer bottles were on their hands, migs had already downed half of his own bottle like it was water.

 

“woah, dude,” sabi ni gabby. “chill.”

 

migs shrugged and he pulled a middle finger up at gabs. usual migs response when he did not want to deal with gabby giving him shit. gabby rolled his eyes and as he started drinking his own alcohol. his pace was slower than migs who was—almost finished? gabby had barely even touched his.

 

"gago, migs,” he remarked with a slight side eye to his best friend. “‘di tubig ‘yan.”

 

hindi nagreply si migs but he did start sipping the remaining liquid sa bote niya. on his best friend’s second bottle and gabby almost done with his first, some of their friends started dispersing. one of them was already walking like he owned the place towards another table wherein, gabby was almost sure, the girls sitting down were models. 

 

_almost sure_ because one of the bleached blonde asian woman in a tight white crop top and a belly button piercing with a gleam that could be seen from here was one of gabby’s one week flings a year ago noong christmas time when he had hit up bora with a couple of acquaintances. 

 

though, to be fair, she looked like any other woman he had been with—stick thin and fit with long hair, a type that he had never really acknowledged even if he tended to gravitate towards them.

 

chanyeol gabriel was pulled out of his musings by one of the remaining friends’ still on the table with him and migs. ian, one of gabby’s blockmates who played varsity football for ateneo, whistled lowly and waved his beer bottle to migs’ direction.

 

“migs, you got piercings now?” ian asked. 

 

gabby’s eyes were drawn to migs’ lobes and sure enough, both of them were pierced. his earrings were pretty understated—just plain jewelry with a small red stone that gabby did not know the name of. migs turned his head slightly and the light hit the stone in a way that made it sparkly a bright red, like blood being shone down with the spotlight.

 

“oh, yeah.” 

 

even gabby was surprised at migs’ noncommittal answer. his best friend was pretty easy going too, the type to just go for whatever he was feeling at the moment so long as he was sure of it. gabby never heard most of migs’ plans and decisions because, while the other man would ask his opinion or rant and explain everything, once he made up his stubborn mind, he had already made up his stubborn mind.

 

one would have better chances making a statue cry than changing jongin miguel kim’s mind.

 

“when'd you get them, miggyboy?” gabby drawled out before he sipped his beer.

 

“fuck you, gabs,” sabi muna ni migs with a slight glare over his—gabby had stopped paying attention and he had lost count—beer bottle. the other male tugged a little bit at his lobe and the outside of his index finger rubbed the small earring delicately. the motion drew gabby’s stare once more at the accessory before migs withdrew his hand and added, “got them weeks ago at your usual parlor.”

 

migs nodded at the tattoos showing on gabby’s forearm. some of them were hidden underneath his clothes but the ones showing were those below the bend of his elbow where the folds of the sleeves of his black dress shirt had stopped.

 

“you went there?” tanong ni gabs. migs had been hovering about the tattoo parlor he would go to for his body art last semester but he did not realize that his best friend would get it a week shy of the second semester. “i didn’t realize na you would get them this soon.”

 

migs lifted one shoulder up and he finished his drink before replying with slow words and even slower blinking, “i don’t have your bullshit two year rule.”

 

ian was the one who interrupted and interjected sa conversation with a raised eyebrow and a question. “two year rule?” he turned to gabby with a curious glance.

 

“dude,” gabby said. he drew the dude out so it sounded like it was in between _duuuuude_ and _doooood_. “that's not bullshit. it made sense to wait for two years before making life changing decisions.”

 

gabby switched his beer to the other hand and lifted his right hand. he bent his index finger down and showed off the LOEY tattoo he had there.

 

“got this one in munich last year, JTA,” sabi niya. ian had seen his LOEY tattoo before but the other man had no idea about the story behind it. “i’ve been wanting a tatt since, like, i was a freshie. maybs even before that. so i was in munich and, like, it’s been more that two years and i still want the tatt so i got it done there.” natawa ng konti si gabs. “tattoos are fucking expensive, man. couldn’t afford elaborate ink so i settled for this one.”

 

ian nodded and he looked at migs’ direction, saying, “sorry, bro. but gabby’s two year rule kind of made sense.”

 

“no,” migs sort of drawled. his beer bottle was half way finished. “does not, gago. gabby would miss shit because he was too busy waiting for his two years.”

 

gabby’s eyebrows rose up to his hairline and he wondered if that was a subtle dig from migs’ part, a friendly dig, but a dig nonetheless. natawa si ian before he stood up and patted the outside of gabby’s knee. gabby angled his legs to the side so his friend could get out and join the bodies dancing—grinding, the music was perfect for it—on the floor.

 

now that they were alone, gabby had noticed that migs had looked even drunker. he was not white girl wasted—not yet, at least—but he was probably registering his surroundings. gabby had lost count kung pang ilang beer na yung bote na hawak ng best friend niya. meanwhile, he was mostly still sober, preferring to keep his head to his shoulders even if his eyes were already roaming around and looking for someone who looked like they could give him a good time.

 

a beer bottle and a few minutes had passed and gabby’s eyebrows started meeting each other because migs was unusually quiet. or well, migs _was_ usually quiet but whenever it was just the two of them, they would end up talking amongst themselves. the other man had not even asked what he had done—who he had done—in san francisco which was borderline weird and was raising gabs’ red flags.

 

gabby was sprawled on the seat, manspreading all over the empty area of the couch, as he waited for a little more time until he decided that migs was probably loose enough to finally talk or at least, answer him.

 

“dude, come on,” sabi nito. gabby’s finger traced the rim of the bottle and he stopped circling the glass when he spotted a thick pair of ass sa crowd in a tight skirt that reached half way down thin calves. the figure disappeared from the throngs of people so gabby tilted his face sa direction ni migs and added, “what’s wrong? you’ve been silent since kanina.”

 

“nah… i’m not. i’m confused as fuck, gabs.”

 

gabby had no idea what migs could be confused about. the other man had not brought up anything when they were texting or playing video games online. migs had been the normal that gabby was used to so hearing migs saying he was confused as fuck, confused gabby too. 

 

“confused about?” gabby prodded.

 

“none of your business, gago," sagot ni migs. gusto siyang murahin ni gabby because migs was definitely stoic enough to say he was confused but refuse to elaborate—or he really was just being a bitch.

 

“make kwento. tangina,” he cursed with impatience. he took a swig of his beer and added afterwards, “i missed all the drama, no? because i was in san francisco.”

 

“yeah,” migs drawled. “i was so bored. feeling ko natanga na ko.”

 

gabby rolled his eyes. what had his best friend gotten into now? gabby was sort of expecting that migs just went through, in, and out of every underwear in the metro manila region or whatever it was that migs kim would do when he was not hanging out with kyungsoo (which, _ugh—_ gabby did not want to think about that right now because it would just piss him off) but judging by the state of his friend right now, that was probably not the case.

 

“you’ve always been stupid.” he settled na lang for saying before he gave a short chuckle that sounded fake to his ears. 

 

the memory of seeing kyungsoo plastered all over migs’ social media accounts, from instagram to snapchat to twitter, put him in a bad mood. 

 

gabby tried to smile as he continued with a hint of a suggestion, “but now you get to be stupid _and_ drunk.”

 

ginala niya yung mata niya and found a girl that was looking at their table. he was not sure who she was looking at but she was migs’ type—petite, a little plush around the edges, with large boobs, and a fat ass. he elbowed migs because his best friend deserved good pussy too.

 

“girl on your two o clock,” he said with a smirk.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

wala pang isang minuto after migs had sauntered towards the girl, gabby had decided that he was not going to be the loser of the group, left alone to watch their table. it was not like it would be snatched. for one, his friend’s security was standing around. two, that was just rude. stealing someone else’s table, one that still had drinks on top, would be considered a faux pas if faux pas was a thing in noisy clubs.

 

he set his bottle down and downed his first shot of the night. he was definitely behind on the alcohol department compared to the rest of his companions and especially compared to migs who probably would not be able to think with his brain. 

 

gabby decided to mingle with the crowd too and the music kind of slapped. nagstay muna siya sa edge ng crowd, near doon sa group of tall, stick thin women with their stick thin heels. he swayed his body to the beat and while gabby had never been a good dancer, there wasn’t much dancing going on to begin with. you couldn’t even call what most people were doing as dancing—more like, vertical fucking, judging by the way one dude was pressed up behind some long haired chick.

 

gabby inched a little farther. he was surprised when someone tapped him on the shoulder. 

 

“hey, gabby,” she said. nana beamed at him with her pretty lips.

 

gabby looked down at her, and then down at the V neck of her crop top. the small piece of fabric was held together by thin spaghetti straps. ang ganda ng view from up here, gabby thought. 

 

nana was definitely his type kung babae ang pinag-uusapan, lean and leggy in her tight skirt with a slit na hanggang upper thigh, a little over mid thigh. the baby pink color suited her tanned skin and her hair was in a pony tail too, long and swaying alongside her movements.

 

“hi,” he said tapos nilagay agad niya yung kamay niya, kind of hovering, against doon sa side ng waist ng babae sa harap niya. he paused for a moment there and the woman just smiled so chanyeol pressed his palm flat tapos binaba niya ito to rest on the flare of her waist.

 

nana hooked both her arms sa leeg ni gabby and with her height and the heels she was wearing, they were almost the same height. siguro mga an inch or two lang na shorter than he was. he preferred shorter partners but he figured she wouldn’t be wearing her heels soon enough or they would not really matter if he played his cards right.

 

“didn’t expect to see you here,” sabi ni nana. she stepped closer so that the swell of her chest was pressing against gabby’s front.

 

he shrugged and said, “kind of biglaan—migs was in a mood.”

 

nana giggled but it was not like what gabs had said was funny. the two of them started dancing and nana even turned around so it was her back against gabby’s chest. she had her hair down her front, head tilted to the side, as gabby ground his hips against her ass and mouthed along her ear. he nosed at the skin on the back of her right lobe and gabby felt her shiver against his hold. his hand was tracing the patch of skin between her crop top and the band of her skirt. yung isa niyang hand was playing doon sa slit, teasingly slipping above it and hooking his index finger against the fabric.

 

the song did not so much as ended as died down and gabby wasn’t feeling it anymore. nana was still having the time of her life so he leaned down a bit, bit the top of her ear lobe, and said, “i’ll just go get a drink.”

 

nana nodded and she gave him a predatory smirk that had gabby’s toes curling in anticipation inside his shoes. naaalala pa niya lahat ng fun with nana—mahirap makalimutan. nana was adventurous and down for almost everything, not to mention she’s hot as fuck.

 

“i’ll text you?” she said with a quirk of her eyebrows. so she _wasn’t_ ready to get the hell out. that was fine, gabby thought. it was still early and hopefully, they would plenty of time later. 

 

gabby extended his pinky and his thumb before jerking it up and down. “call me? or text,” he offered, just so nana knew na meron siyang standing invitation and if hindi siya makahanap ng iba. 

 

gabs did not want to stroke his own ego but he was not worried about nana finding someone better—maybe new, but not better. he figured he was a pretty stiff competition. 

 

he dropped by sa bar and got himself a neat, overpriced bottle of beer, german. for some reason, this was the only good thing this place had. gabby did not know if it was because the beer tasted good or if management just wanted to sell with the highest mark up that they could under the guise of the stuff being imported.

 

he was drinking his beer slowly sa isang sulok, wala pa ring tama dahil this was just his (kind of) second. third if one counted the unfinished bottle na naiwan sa table niya with his friends that he had barely touched.

 

hindi pa nangangalahati yung inumin niya, he saw some white guy sidle up to him. he was young, a little shorter than gabby himself but still tall, with dark blond hair that stood up amidst the sea of brunettes. the guy looked a little lost, like he did not go to these kind of places that much. gabby wanted to ask if he was okay or something because he seemed pretty nervous.

 

“hey. do you go to this place often?”

 

ah, gabby thought. that would explain the nervousness. his eyebrow quirked up at the guy’s words and he gave him a small smile that was mostly to tell the guy that _yes, i’m interested_.

 

“sure,” he said, shrugging. he wanted to get laid but he was not desperate.

 

two things. one, gabby was not drunk enough to find himself enamored with that bad as hell flirting. two, familiar ang inflections ng word ng guy. three, he was kind of cute especially when gabby had finally taken a good look on him.

 

“cool,” the guy replied, dragging the _o_ sound. he still seemed nervous as his thumb started rubbing the glass of his bottle. he added, offering, “i’m a student—exchange—from germany.”

 

ah. so that’s what the accent was. 

 

he gave him a small smile that was mostly to tell the guy that _yes, go on, i’m interested_.

 

“ _germany?_ ” gabby smiled. “ _i spent a semester there. t’was fun_.”

 

“ _you speak german_?” the stranger asked. 

 

gabby could use the language at a low to mid level B, which meant he was at least okay. he could speak and understand better than that—especially casual conversations. he had spent one sem studying german for his required FLC and then, just for the hell of it, took another sem of it. he did some intensive classes over the break before spending another semester in munich and mainly conversing with the locals in their language. 

 

while gabby could not speak like a local still—considering he was not exposed to the culture long enough—he sounded pretty good. his vocabulary might have been limited but his pronunciation is near perfect.

 

“ _sort of_ ,” gabby answered. “ _i’m not that good, am i?_ ”

 

nakita niya na nagwiden yung eyes ng guy before the tension in his shoulders bled away.

 

“ _yeah? you speak the language well enough._ ” the guy seemed partly intrigued but also, relieved. 

 

“ _eh_ ,” gabby lifted one shoulder up and with a palm up in the air facing down, hand waving in what he hoped conveyed the universal _so and so_ gesture. _comme ci, comme ça_ , though that was the wrong language—he forgot the german equivalent. 

 

“ _just a little bit_.” he paused and switched to english. “one year in classes and i did one sem in munich.”

 

the guy appeared to be interested and he smiled (flirtatious—at least, he was more comfortable now). “munich, huh? exchange?”

 

gabby nodded. his main choices came down to korea, france, or germany. korea was struck from his list quickly because he would _always_ come to korea and he already took german so it was pretty easy to pick munich out of the three.

 

also, bayern munich—or bayern münchen, really. it was odd to say the german bayern and then the english munich. he sounded so— _uncultured_. 

 

he mentioned as much to the guy, going, “yeah. odd choice to pick out of european schools but football, you know?”

 

“bayern münchen?” the guy crinkled his nose. 

 

gabby laughed and he deemed the guy interesting enough to talk to him a little more before asking him to dance. he was not mistaking the _guy’s_ signal so thank fuck or gabby would have another one of those _is he gay or european_ moments. chris, that was the guy’s name, turned out to be gay _and_ european. 

 

the two of them ‘danced’ which was really mostly gabby pressing himself against the guy’s back. his ass was kind of flat, wiry all over, but he knew how to move his hips. they stayed tangled for a little bit before chris was turning around. gabby felt fingers tug the end of his braid before the smaller guy was going up on his tip toes and whispering in his ear.

 

“wanna get another drink?” he said. chris paused before his lips brushed low, doon sa baba ng earlobe ni gabby. he added, in german, “ _and maybe get the hell out of it_.”

 

gabby did not really get that one much but he _had heard_ variations of that while he was partying it up in munich and that one time he and a couple of friends found themselves at the german speaking side of switzerland. he shivered and nodded before the guy was pulling him away from the throngs of people.

 

the guy got gabby a drink and they were exchanging light touches, the guy’s fingers tracing the exposed tattoos on chanyeol’s forearm and chanyeol’s fingers rubbing on chris’ side, when his phone vibrated on his pocket. normally, chanyeol would have ignored it—it was a text. but a second or so, it started continuously vibrating once again—a call. 

 

gabby frowned, pissed. he pulled out his phone to reject that call but paused at the sight of _kyungsoo_ and the peach emoji after the name.

 

he sneaked a glance up sa kasama niya and chris raised one eyebrow, as if letting chanyeol make the decision for him. gabs paused and—

 

“shit, sorry,” he said. he lifted his phone and mimicked putting it near his right ear. “i gotta answer this one.” 

 

chris frowned but he did shrug before chanyeol walked away. he went to a quiet corner and plug his left ear as he placed the phone on the other. 

 

“hey, kyungsoo,” he greeted. he knew it was kind of noisy and he was not sure if kyungsoo could here him.

 

he could hear soft breathing from the other side before kyungsoo asked, “are you with miggy, gabby?”

 

gabby paused. of course he was with miggy. he did not know why he felt off at kyungsoo asking migs from him—probably because gabby craved attention too. 

 

“yeah, i am,” gabby replied after a moment. kyungsoo must have heard what he said because he immediately replied with a rushed out, “where you both?”

 

if possible, his frown deepened. should he tell kyungsoo? also, what was kyungsoo here for? migs would probably have the girl from awhile ago on his lap, or he would have found a guy his type—small and curvy too, because migs was a creature of habit. 

 

“gabby?” kyungsoo asked from the other line and gabs managed to rush out where he and migs currently were. 

 

“okay,” kyungsoo replied happily. “i’ll be there.”

 

wait, what?

 

before gabby could voice his confusion, the line went dead and he stared at his phone with a blank face, blinking.

 

whatever, he thought. it was not like kyungsoo would be shocked at the kind of shit he would see migs and he were doing.

 

or, well, the person.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

he stayed a little bit around the edges of the people. drinking and not finishing any of his bottle. he was flirted with and stopped by men and women pero wala na sa mood si gabby. kyungsoo had texted na apparently, malapit lang siya. he was staying with his kuya who worked in makati for the night so he could be by here in a few minutes.

 

chanyeol lost both nana and christ too. but for some reason, he did not care. his phone was hot in his pocket as if it was a reminder of who had called him. there was a big grin on gabby’s face. he had never really partied with kyungsoo, the one from the org event he DJ-ed a month or so ago now did not count because migs spirited kyungsoo away.

 

in the end, he decided na hanapin na lang si migs. he went first doon sa table nila and sure enough. ayun. jongin miguel kim working his magic—and by magic, gabby meant migs’ mouth and fingers. from here, he could see the girl’s dress being hitched high. had it been that long since iniwan niya ang best friend niya? migs sure did move fast.

 

naglean in siya sa back of the couch, hip cocked against the hard edge of it. he gave a slow whistle. nakita niyang nagulat yung babae and gabby almost laughed. she should be used to gabby if she wanted to be a migs kim regular. she was migs’ type so his best friend would probably give her his number.

 

nakita niyang nagmouth si migs ng isang _what_ and gabby remembered what he was here for.

 

“not to interrupt you or anything—” nag gesture si gabby kay migs and sa kasama nitong babae as he lifted his phone. hopefully migs would get that kyungsoo called him or something. “—but kyungsoo’s gonna swing by. try not to scare him.”

 

hindi niya alam kung nagets ni migs and sinabi niya. much more na hindi niya alam bakit niya sinabi yung _try not to scare him_. hindi alam ni gabby why—maybe he was also drunk despite not drinking more than two bottles in total. everything else had gone boring tapos parang nawala na talaga ang appeal ng tao as he waited for kyungsoo. 

 

he waited for kyungsoo sa labas and gabby stood sa may gilid para sunduin si kyungsoo. the fresh night air was not really fresh, to be honest, pero gabby liked the way it was less stifling than inside the club. 

 

kyungsoo clambered down from the backseat of his grab and he made a beeline towards gabby with a smile. gabby eyed kyungsoo’s clothes—plain black jeans and button down shirt in white that was tight over the shape of his body.

 

gabby whistled as he hugged kyungsoo. he whispered sa tenga nito, a low and long drawl, “looking good.”

 

kyungsoo gave a light punch sa stomach ni gabby and he pretended to double over in pain. the shorter male smiled and gabby laughed at him before he slung his hand sa balikat ni kyungsoo.

 

he nodded sa security as they slipped inside without any word. 

 

“may table kami,” sabi ni gabby. he leaned close para magkarinigan sila. his mouth was almost brushing the side of kyungsoo's head. kyungsoo stared straight ahead and said, “nandon si migs?”

 

gabby’s eyebrows furrowed. ano bang kailangan ni kyungsoo kay migs? did migs do anything?

 

“yeah.” gabby nodded as he steered kyungsoo away from the people. “did he do something? may utang ba siya sa ‘yo?” gabby attempted to joke.

 

hindi natawa si kyungsoo as he walked forward. napasimangot si gabs.

 

gabby was leading him pero bakit parang nauuna si kyungsoo? gabby’s hand went from kyungsoo’s shoulder tapos nagslide down sa curve ng spine niya. it rested on his lower back, just above the swell of his ass. propriety enough, in gabby’s opinion, but hindi too forward or bastos.

 

siguro mga ilang hakbang na rin sila from the table. it was chanyeol gabriel who saw the woman leaning in kay jongin miguel, still seated on his lap. he saw jongin nod while his fingers were roaming all over the girl’s skin.

 

napahinto si kyungsoo when migs and the girl stood up and walked away.

 

“ _oh_ ,” he heard kyungsoo say. 

 

gabby’s stomach dropped even if hindi niya sure kung bakit.

 

migs did not spare them any attention. he did not even look back. gabby was used to it kasi si migs talaga yung tipo ng tao who would just for it. he rarely ever said a goodbye. minsan, he would text gabby if he was leaving but it was not like a habit or anything.

 

he pushed kyungsoo down sa upuan and got him a drink. he sat down beside kyungsoo and handed him the bottle. tumingin si kyungsoo sa bote and then sa retreating figure ni migs and the girl he was with before taking a long sip.

 

“whoa,” sabi ni gabby. “easy, kyungsoo.” he patted kyungsoo’s thigh twice and afterwards, hindi na niya inalis ang kamay niya. his hand was pretty comfortable where it was and kyungsoo had not pushed him away.

 

ilang second pa and gabby heard a small whisper from his friend. 

 

“ganyan ba talaga si migs?” he asked. his voice was— _tight_? gabby could not explain it. he settled for humming as an affirmative before replying.

 

“yeah,” sabi niya. umabot siya ng alak for himself and held it out. kyungsoo weakly clinked their glass bottles together and gabs finally smiled. “he was the one who asked na magwalwal tonight. guess he wanted to hook up.”

 

nagshrug si gabby as he told kyungsoo that. kyungsoo stiffen beside him and gabby’s finger absentmindedly started tapping kyungsoo’s thigh.

 

“why?” he ended up asking noong hindi nagreply si kyungsoo. “jealous?”

 

he meant it as a joke but kyungsoo’s breath stuttered. gabby’s too, after that.

 

with a careful tone, gabby added, “jealous na he was hooking up and you weren’t or jealous na he was hooking up and not with you?”

 

kyungsoo did not answer but he ended up just taking a sip of his drink. he practically downed it in one go before he leaned in kay gabby, practically ordering him, “one more.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

first time na makita ni chanyeol na lasing si kyungsoo. hindi niya sure if kyungsoo was really drunk just because of how he looked but his eyes were starting to get glassy and his face was noticeably pink even with the dim lights. he was listing side to side too and while he was quiet still, gabby was sure that no one would be sober after the number of bottles of beer that kyungsoo had drunk and pati na rin yung shot glasses niya of colorful mixed drinks.

 

bumalik na yung iba nilang friends sa table. two of them hit a strike out, as in malas lang daw tonight na walang potential one night stand. the other one na naiwan really was not interested with any hooking up but was now really close with kyungsoo kahit na nakadikit pa rin si gabby sa kanya.

 

he was coaxing kyungsoo to talk and kyungsoo was mostly slurring his words trying to answer. merong cute and goofy smile sa face niya and gabby would happily listen sa kwento ni kyungsoo if not for his friend hovering over the short male. gabby had shot him a glare and the guy’s eyebrow rose up.

 

“oops,” sabi nito. he raised his hand in a defensive gesture before smirking, “sorry, gabs. didn’t realize you already got dibs. my bad.”

 

for some reason, that irked gabby. the word _dibs_ tasted bitter on his tongue, like an unpleasant memory. he knew dibs was not, like, a serious thing anyway pero hindi mapigilan ni gabby na magscoff, sending a glare doon sa friend niya.

 

the buzz of alcohol had long been gone so he was sure na he could get home in his car. he did consider just paying for overnight parking but that was expensive as fuck so buti na lang na hindi siya napainom ng marami. 

 

“kyungsoo?” he said. binulong niya ito sa tenga ng lasing na binata. “wanna go back home?”

 

nagnod si kyungsoo. he was pretty docile habang lasing siya and he finished the bottle he was holding. nagwince si chanyeol, hoping kyungsoo would not puke or something kasi he really did not want to clean drunken messes right now. kinuha niya yung bote ng tubig sa table and sighed in relief when he heard the sound of the seal breaking open. he gave it to kyungsoo and urged him to take sips.

 

nung nangalahati na ang bote, kinuha ni chanyeol iyon and finished it off. he patted kyungsoo sa hita nito and stood up.

 

“let’s go,” sabi niya. tumayo na rin si kyungsoo and he stumbled around on precarious legs, probably really drunk. halos mahulog na yung salamin niya and chanyeol took it off, just in case. he slipped it and hung doon sa dress shirt niya, sa V where he had left the buttons undone.

 

kyungsoo squinted and chanyeol held his forearm. nagjump si kyungsoo and gabby stopped, apologizing, “sorry. it’s me, gabby.”

 

nagrelax si kyungsoo underneath gabs’ hold and gabby felt a slight worry kasi ang daling magtiwala ni kyungsoo. he took him outside and by the time na naka tatlong trip na si kyungsoo, he decided, _fuck it_ and wrapped the smaller man’s arm around sa waist niya. he held it there in place and he was practically lifting kyungsoo up while they were walking.

 

by the time he was seated sa tabi ng driver’s side. gabby could finally place kyungsoo’s glasses sa mukha niya. kyungsoo was murmuring something that gabriel was too tired to make out.

 

nagpout si kyungsoo in the middle of his whispered self rant. he was muttering non sense and it was late at night—early in the morning, really. gabby’s head was pounding but he was not sure why. he was sober enough to drive back so it could not be the alcohol.

 

he went around and climbed behind the steering wheel. he connected his phone sa AUX cord tapos pinatugtog niya. he sighed with slight relief kasi at least, drake’s scorpion could drown out yung little murmurs ni kyungsoo sa tabi niya. he was not annoyed, really, pero the buzzing was bothering him a little bit.

 

once nagplay na yung album on shuffle, they were off to go back to QC because gabby did not know where kyungsoo’s brother lived and he was not sure if anyone was at his varsity hills’ home. 

 

also, he really just — wanted to be with kyungsoo but gabby was not looking too much into that, lest he lost control of his driving.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

madali lang sila na nakaakyat papunta sa condo unit ni gabby. kyungsoo’s murmuring started getting louder and gabby was debating kung tatakpan na ba niya ang bibig ni kyungsoo kasi baka ireklamo sila ng neighbors. he practically shoved kyungsoo inside his one bedroom home and kyungsoo stumbled around before slumping down sa sofa. 

 

he pulled his cellphone from his pocket and squinted sa screen before he tossed it to the other side of the couch. gabby could see it lighting up, probably an incoming call, pero hindi pinansin ni kyungsoo iyon.

 

“let’s get you changed,” sabi ni gabby. kyungsoo nodded pero hindi siya tumayo from where he was slumped on the couch. gabby sighed and went to his bedroom to fetch kyungsoo one of his shirts and a pair of boxer shorts. of course, meron siyang extra na hindi pa niya nagagamit. he thought of getting kyungsoo pajamas pants too but none of them would fit and chanyeol was too tired to look for the drawstring ones.

 

pagbalik niya, kyungsoo was staring at his phone screen which was now dark. gabby wondered kung ano ang tinitingnan niya doon but he did not exactly pry. 

 

“kyungsoo, palit ka na,” gabby said. kyungsoo looked up at him and stared like chanyeol just asked him to jump off of a cliff. he extended the clothes towards kyungsoo’s direction but the smaller male did not seem like he was understanding what gabs was saying.

 

nagsigh ulit si gabby. he wasn’t the type to take care of drunken friends—mostly because he took care of them in different ways. kyungsoo sure as hell wasn’t putting out anytime soon and he looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for strength.

 

in the end, gabby held kyungsoo by his bicep and practically dragged him to the washroom. he placed the clothes on top of the closed toilet lid and kyungsoo was leaning against the bathroom wall, looking tired and sleepy.

 

“come on—don’t sleep on me,” gabby complained. kyungsoo nodded but his eyes were starting to close. gabby groaned and he pulled kyungsoo to the sink, removing his glasses and hanging it on himself again. the other male was pliant and not even in the way that gabby hoped for. he turned the tap on and cupped water in one hand. he nudged kyungsoo at the back and held him loosely at the nape. 

 

“i’ll wash your face, okay?” gabby warned. he splashed the water on kyungsoo’s face and the coldness of it must have startled him because kyungsoo recoiled, pressed his back against gabs’ front.

 

“oh," he said with a slight sigh. he blinked a couple of times and while he was still visibly out of it, gabby managed to wake him enough that he could brush his teeth. he leaned near the sinkand sumabay na rin siyang mag toothbrush kay kyungsoo. nauna siyang matapos so he watched kyungsoo’s slow and lethargic movements. afterwards, the smaller male stood there, looking in front of the mirror. he was squinting still and gabby sidestepped behind the smaller male to fetch the shirt that was left on the toilet lid.

 

kyungsoo turned around and tilted his head as if studying the garment that gabby was holding. with gentle movements, his hands pulled his tucked in shirt and started unbuttoning it. gabby watched kyungsoo’s stubby fingers fail at the second button.

 

he huffed a laugh. “ang useless mo ‘pag lasing,” he said, teasing.

 

kyungsoo must have understood that because he pouted and said, “i’m not lasing.”

 

this made gabby laugh again and he pulled kyungsoo closer by his belt hoops. “i'll do it,” he said. kyungsoo nodded and gabby’s deft fingers started loosening the buttons out of their holes. he made quick work of it and then pulled the fabric off of kyungsoo’s arms.

 

gabby handed kyungsoo his shirt and averted his eyes. he caught a glimpse of kyungsoo’s soft body and gulped. before he knew it kyungsoo was pulling his jeans off of himself. gabby yelped and turned around, picking his boxer shorts and tossing it to kyungsoo.

 

he head kyungsoo giggle before a soft, “i’m done,” echoed in the room.

 

gabby turned around and he did not even realize how tightly he was closing his eyes until the moment the light of the bathroom assaulted his eyes. his shirt was predictably large on kyungsoo and his boxers were tight on kyungsoo’s thicker thighs.

 

ang daming hita na naka display and gabby took another deep breath before herding kyungsoo out of the door. dinala niya ito sa kwarto niya and kyungsoo practically dived on top of the bed before sitting upright against the headboard.

 

“ano?” gabby raised an eyebrow. “sleep ka na.”

 

kyungsoo shook his head and mumbled something.

 

“what is it?” gabby inquired. hindi niya naintindihan kung ano ang sinabi ni kyungsoo. he sat down sa my edge ng bed so he and kyungsoo could face each other. he pulled kyungsoo’s glasses from where it was resting against his chest and put it over the bedside table. 

 

kyungsoo gripped the side of gabby’s face with his right hand. gabby froze and turned his stare towards the other man.

 

“what?” he asked softly. the silence was fragile, like if gabby spoke louder than a whisper, it would shatter. 

 

kyungsoo’s hand slid down gabby’s hand and the taller male stopped once more. ang lamig ng palad ni kyungsoo. he took gabby’s fingers and lifted them up, placing them against his chest. gabby focused and slowly, he could feel kyungsoo’s heart beating underneath.

 

“masakit pala dito,” kyungsoo said out of the blue. ang dilim ng kwarto ni gabby. he could not see the expression on the other man’s face.

 

“what do you mean?” gabby asked. kyungsoo’s heart was fluttering normally against his palm. gabby’s heart was hammering. his tongue was stuck on the roof of his mouth, feeling heavy.

 

“when i saw miggy leave with that girl,” kyungsoo said and gabby paused. he took a deep breath kahit na parang ang hirap. parang merong nakabara sa dibdib niya. 

 

the feeling was familiar. the last time he felt this way was almost two years ago, when he thought he was ready to give someone his heart, only for it to be returned. 

 

_oh_ , gabby thought.

 

at least, this time, it was better. gabby wanted to scold himself. 

 

“what’s migs got to do with this?” gabby asked and tapped kyungsoo’s chest with his finger.

 

maybe it was the trick of the shadows, or maybe the trick of his mind, but gabby saw kyungsoo smile lightly, whispering, “everything.”

 

“kyungsoo,” gabby whispered back, in defeat and in hopelessness. “you like migs?”

 

the other male nodded and gabby removed his hand from kyungsoo’s chest, pulled it over his lap. he clenched it in a tight fist before letting go. 

 

“you’re setting yourself up for failure,” sabi niya. of all people, gabby lamented— “bakit si migs pa?”

 

the _pa_ rang clear and kyungsoo shook his head before it hung low. gabby took hold of his chin and raised it upwards. “bakit siya pa?” inulit niya. gabby hated how desperate he sounded. he wasn’t begging for anything, except maybe for an answer. 

 

“i don’t know,” kyungsoo replied. “i just knew it was him and then—” the smaller male paused and, “—and then it hurt. i don’t think he feels the same way.”

 

gabby felt something inside him break at the same time that kyungsoo’s voice did. 

 

“do you think he feels the same way?” kyungsoo asked. he sounded so vulnerable and gabby felt guilty because he knew he was going to break kyungsoo’s heart with his answer. he was going to break the other man’s heart in proxy.

 

gabby wondered what it would feel like to mend that break and in a hysterical moment, he hoped.

 

“i don’t know,” he answered honestly. “you never know with migs. he—” gabby took a deep breath. his hand moved from where it was gripping kyungsoo’s chin to cradle the side of his face. the chubby cheek fit nicely against the cup of his palm. gabby’s heart hammered in his chest. 

 

“migs don’t do things like that, kyungsoo,” gabby answered.

 

he heard kyungsoo sigh softly. he said, “i know. i know that already.”

 

and so, “why are you even asking?” gabby replied. frustration bled out of a single question and kyungsoo tilted his head, chasing the warmth of gabby’s palm.

 

hindi niya sinagot ang tanong ni gabby. instead, he just stayed like that, eyelashes starting to flutter close. gabby’s eyes dropped to kyungsoo’s lips and he just—

 

he leaned in and let his mouth hover above the petal-soft mouth. kyungsoo’s eyes slightly opened and he stared at gabby’s. 

 

gabby stared back before leaning in. closer, closer, closer—

 

only for his lips to find the corner of kyungsoo’s mouth.

 

gabby pulled away and chuckled bitterly. 

 

“i’m not migs,” gabby said. 

 

kyungsoo nodded and gabby laughed again, more bitter than the last. gabby let out a sigh of frustration. and he wanted to pull his hair out. he leaned back and kyungsoo curled himself into a ball.

 

gabby almost rolled his eyes and with a scolding, he said, “bakit ka magpapakatanga para sa kanya?”

 

it sounded angry, but also, accusing. and confused. gabby had no idea why kyungsoo would chase a guy when here he was, offering himself. gabby felt like a beggar asking for alms, crumbs of affection.

 

kyungsoo chuckled lightly and replied, with all the sincerity in the world, “hindi naman kami nagpapatalinuhan.”

 

that felt like a punch to the gut, solid and sudden that gabby’s breath was knocked out of him. he stood up and kyungsoo eased himself on to the bed. gabby tucked him under the covers. it could get cold at night, especially since kyungsoo was not wearing any pants.

 

“good night,” he said.

 

“good night,” kyungsoo replied.

 

for a moment, gabby imagined. he really did like illusions.

 

at the door before he closed it, he added, “dream of me.”

 

kyungsoo’s answer was short tinkling laughter that washed over gabby like an ocean’s gentle wave and then, because the illusion had to be broken, the other man said, “i won’t.”

 

gabby closed the door and thought about beaches and sunlight, trying to hold on to that feeling.

 

he grabbed the extra boxers he had lying sa labas ng bedroom because he was not about to go back inside. he changed and quickly lied down sa couch, cursing dahil masyado siyang matangkad for it.

 

he saw kyungsoo’s phone vibrate and curiosity nagged him so he peeked at the screen and found migs’ name flashing. he waited for the call to die and gabby eyed the amount of times migs had called kyungsoo.

 

natawa ulit siya as something pricked him in the chest. he reached over and flipped kyungsoo’s phone so the screen was lying down. he didn’t want to think of anything right now—much less migs.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_gabby fell asleep just like that. on the couch, dreaming of the sea and the sun and tinkling laughter. everything felt too familiar but at the same time, not. at the very least, this time, he got his heart broken before he could give it._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nagising si gabby with a body aching all over. he cursed himself and the small couch that he managed to fit into last night. moments like this, he regretted not picking out the ugly sofa-bed and opting for aesthetics than practicality. 

 

hindi niya matandaan kung saan niya tinapon yung hair tie niya so he let the mess that was his head be. nagkalat sa sahig yung damit na hinubad niya, what with him only managing to change into boxer shorts nung nakalabas siya from his room. 

 

gabby sighed when he remembered who was on the other side of the room, buried underneath his blankets and resting against his sheets and his pillows. he wondered how he could sleep there afterwards. maybe he should change the sheets after he dropped kyungsoo off at his house. 

 

_fuck_ , he thought. sana lasing na lang siya now. he was not even fully awake yet when the doorbell started ringing.

 

oh yeah. that was what woke him up in the first place. with disoriented limbs, he stood up and went to the front door. he was too sleepy to bother and it was a bright morning, it couldn’t have been a burglar. he unlocked the door and gabby registered the voice first before the person.

 

“gabby, i think i fucked up,” migs barreled inside. gabs had never heard of his best friend sound like that and he could not place the emotion, the sheer complexity of it.

 

“w-what?” he stuttered out. migs went ahead to the living room, dropping a plastic bag to the floor. gabby guessed that those were beer cans inside. 

 

he turned around and found himself face to face with a migs kim standing in the middle of his apartment, looking like he had not slept a single wink. gabby did not know what to feel or say.

 

but it seemed like the universe made that decision for him.

 

kyungsoo came out of his bedroom, bleary eyed and looking rumpled. gabby would call him another word but he figured he shouldn’t. he kept the word close to himself as kyungsoo rubbed his eyes in gabby’s large shirt.

 

the short male was still half asleep and he probably did not register the other person in the room. 

 

migs paused and he turned his eyes to kyungsoo wearing gabby’s clothes and to gabby who was only in his boxer shorts. gabby saw the pain and thought, _oh,_ again. he felt like he was having realizations left, right, and center.

 

his best friend put two and two together and came up with five. gabby could clearly see the tension in his shoulders, the tightness of his clenched fists, and the way he stepped forward, squaring himself.

 

“ _gabriel_ ,” migs hissed. “ _what the fuck_.”

 

gabby braced himself. the distance between them was not too big and migs could have easily reached him, hammered his fist down his face. gabby would take it, bear it, because he would not hurt migs with kyungsoo in the room.

 

kyungsoo would hate him then.

 

but the blows did not come. gabby watched as kyungsoo gasped and with a broken syllable, said, “migs?”

 

it sounded so weak, and confused. gabby’s heart clenched. migs paused, standing there like an idiot with blood shot eyes. gabby wondered idly if that was because of having no sleep, or because he was crying so much.

 

ganito pala ang feeling ng maiinggit, he thought wryly. sa buong buhay niya, parang kahit kailan, never siyang nainggit kay migs. never.

 

sabi nila you would never forget your first time. gabby, now, could attest to that.

 

“kyungsoo,” migs said. and that, too, was a first time.

 

first time marinig ni gabby si migs na katulad noon. that was the first time he had heard migs sound like him, two years ago.

 

gabby wanted to laugh so he did. it sounded hollow to his ears. maybe he was wrong last night. maybe kyungsoo would be migs’ exception. maybe he already was. 

 

“nothing happened, gago,” he said because gabby did not want to break kyungsoo’s heart and he certainly did not want to break migs’. 

 

he went to pick his clothes from last night and pulled his jeans up his boxers. pati yung button down niya, sinuot niya. when he turned around, he could see kyungsoo looking at him, and he could see migs looking at kyungsoo.

 

gabby wanted to shake his head as he picked his phone and his car keys from near the couch.

 

“i’m going,” he said as he headed for the door. he turned around and found kyungsoo’s eyes looking at him. migs was still looking at kyungsoo. gabby recognized the way migs was staring at the other man, like he could barely breathe. 

 

gabby smiled at kyungsoo and said, “ask migs what you asked me last night.”

 

kyungsoo’s eyes widened, probably in remembrance. or maybe shock.

 

gabby lifted his hand and turned his back from the two. he waved a bit and said, “try not to fuck in my condo.”

 

he closed the door shut behind him, quick and desperate. ayaw niyang marinig kung ano ang sasabihin ni migs, o kung ano ang sasabihin ni kyungsoo. he walked away and picked his phone up.

 

the only time he realized that he was crying was when he was inside the elevator, his reflection staring back at him.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_ gabby never realized pain could feel like this. two years ago, pain was closer to a sudden searing pain, like being burnt. now, as he closed the door to his apartment, it felt like an avalanche—like being stuck in the cold, numb and being pricked all over.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me while writing: GABRIEL AKIN KA NA LANG


	13. Q&A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deserved pa ba ni migs si kyungsoo?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanted to show that soo was not a perfect character. like the rest, he was flawed. he was petty. he was careless. but also, all he did was love someone

reality check—kailangan nga ata talaga ni kyungsoo niyan.

 

after ng blunder niyang paghalik sa pisngi ni migs, parang nagtago na lang siya sa bubble na siya na rin ang gumawa. ang dami niyang excuses—going to this relative, visiting his brother, visiting his grandparents, going to the vet kahit na wala naman talagang alaga yung pinsan niya, lahat nasabi na niya at nagamit.

 

migs was bound to be annoyed or get tired. he wouldn’t be surprised.

 

so now kyungsoo was being a hermit, burying his head in the sand like an ostrich. his parents were not home and nanay lumeng visited his pamangkin sa province dahil kasal nito. ilang araw pa bago ang uwi ni nanay and kyungsoo hated being alone in the house so he packed some stuff and paid an exorbitant amount of money para mag-grab papunta sa condo ng kuya niya. he had been staying there for a day and the only thing kyungsoo had been doing was think.

 

and think.

 

and think some more.

 

mas marami pa atang pag-iisip ang ginawa niya post cheek kiss compared sa pag-iisip na ginawa niya last semester.

 

admittedly, kyungsoo was torn about it. jongin said that it did not mean nothing and of course, masakit. 

 

masakit kasi for kyungsoo, the kiss meant everything. 

 

so of course, tawag siya kay jongdae andres kahit na it was late at night. wala pa man na midnight and kyungsoo was already making bad decisions. ganito siya ka-advanced mag-isip.

 

kyungsoo opened his macbook and opted for facetime video. sa bed ng extra room ng condo ng kuya niya, he was lying on his stomach, facing the camera and waiting for his call to be accepted. jongdae was most likely not doing anything of importance because it was the break and the other man was not a outdoor person, preferring to rot and spoil inside his room with TV shows, movies, or books. kaya sila nagkakasundo ni kyungsoo was because they were similar, minus the books part.

 

the video call was accepted and the facetime window was filled with a blown up image of jongdae’s chin before the camera was adjusted. kita ni kyungsoo si jongdae na nag-aayos ng sheet mask over his face, smoothing it over. he cringed kasi ang late na for skincare but at least, better than never.

 

“ano ganap?” sabi ni jongdae without a hello or a hi or a how are you.

 

“jongdae fernando kim, i think i have a problem,” reply ni kyungsoo with a sigh as he laid his chin sa kama. he could see jongdae settling himself properly with his sheet mask on.

 

jongdae sighed and asked with a deadpan voice, “tite na naman ba ‘to?”

 

namula si kyungsoo kasi one, medj tama si jongdae francisco, but at the same time, mali rin siya. kyungsoo huffed and rolled his eyes because trust jongdae to condense the biggest crisis he had ever experienced since the sexbomb girls were replaced by eb babes sa eat bulaga into dick talks.

 

“what even… _no._ ” he shook his head and added, without hesitation, “i like migs.”

 

that was not the full story nor was that the most honest thing about the situation at the moment but kyungsoo was not about to tell jongdae that he more than _like liked_ migs kasi hindi pa siya ready na pagalitan ni jongdae melchor. also, plausible deniability. hindi pa ready si kyungsoo sabihin out loud ang sinisigaw ng utak at puso niya, in sync for the first time.

 

narinig niyang naggasp si jongdae as the other guy sat up straighter. halos dumulas yung sheet mask out of his face and jongdae quickly pressed his hands and smoothed it over his skin again. kyungsoo would have laughed, he really would, except he felt like he was about to vomit everything na kinain niya, from his tapsilog breakfast to his mcdo lunch and his kraft mac ’n’ cheese dinner. 

 

“malaking tite nga!” ang first na sinabi ni jongdae. kyungsoo wanted to complain because the matter at hand was not just dicks, okay! but then jongdae snorted and said, off-handed, “don’t worry. it will pass. it’s probably a phase.”

 

kyungsoo recoiled because that was not what he was expecting jongdae ruel to say. 

 

“um… what?” he asked, curious, confused, and clueless. what did jongdae mean by it will pass? 

 

the other man shrugged and kyungsoo could see the fluid movement of one shoulder lifting up ang bilis ng wifi sa bahay ng kuya niya. 

 

“ _kyongie_ ,” sabi ni jongdae, using nanay lumeng’s nickname for him. “gets na you’ll have a crush on migs kasi you’re, like, super close. he's your phone a friend, ‘di ba? lilipas din ‘yan."

 

merong pause that lasted for ilang seconds and kyungsoo could see jongdae’s thin eyes squinting just a little bit before they widened. nanahimik lang si kyungsoo, he could feel himself pursing his own lips. 

 

jongdae’s mouth dropped open before he practically screamed, “ _gago! oh my god, kyungsoo do!_ ”

 

nahulog yung face mask from jongdae’s face and the other man picked it up, tossing it to somewhere without a care. he looked aghast, and scared, and also worried.

 

“oh my god,” jongdae said again. tumingin siya sa taas before doing the sign of the cross. ang dramatic naman, kyungsoo thought, but also same. jongdae’s face was filling up the facetime window, like he shoved his entire head in front of the front camera. 

 

“putangina, kyungsoo. you don’t just _like_ jongin miguel kim!” jongdae said out loud. he looked like he just discovered the cure to cancer, or that there was a new plague. tangina. ayaw ngang sabihin ni kyungsoo pero ito namang si jongdae fortunato kim, he had to voice it out loud. “you _more_ _than like_ migs!”

 

at inulit pa talaga.

 

“can you please not…” kyungsoo trailed off. what the fuck talaga, jongdae. his best friend really had no idea how to mince his words. hindi alam ang salitang sandali or dahan dahan. walang preno, binuko agad si kyungsoo.

 

nakita niyang pina-pat ni jongdae ang mukha niya, probably para maabsorb ng skin niya yung aborted sheet mask session that was cut off dahil sa revelation and realization ni jongdae about kyungsoo’s life.

 

“nagsex ba kayo?” jongdae asked. his voice was lowered in a whisper as if he was speaking of a scandal, or the unspeakable. 

 

“tangina, no,” sagot ni kyungsoo. first of all, hindi naman sila. unfortunately. puta talaga ng buhay ni kyungsoo. of all people in the world, of all men, bakit si jongin miguel pa? bakit siya pa? jongdae had warned him already but—

 

kyungsoo got to know migs. he got to know the man underneath the smirks and the sunglasses and the new era baseball caps. he got to know the man underneath the dry fit jerseys. he got to know miggy, not just migs, and kyungsoo liked the person he knew. he _more than liked_ the person he started getting to know. he wanted to get to know him more and kyungsoo wanted to peel off the layers of that person, and wanted migs to know him too. kyungsoo saw jongin miguel kim in his singularity, no matter what jongdae had said about him before.

 

jongin was more than the words of the people around him. he was kind, and sweet, and caring. he was funny and he made kyungsoo laugh without making fun of kyungsoo himself. he made kyungsoo feel special though that was just the bonus. kyungsoo didn’t more than like migs kim because migs made him feel like he was the most important person in the world. he more than liked migs kim because he made kyungsoo feel.

 

the was the short story of it. the long story, kyungsoo figured, would be a novel of convoluted thoughts and feelings, beginning with a _hi_ and ending with a question. the epilogue would hopefully include an answer but kyungsoo was not holding his breath for that. 

 

“gago,” sabi ulit ni jongdae. that pulled kyungsoo out of his sentimental musings and jongdae groaned, said, “kyungsoo do. puta. you’re blushing.”

 

kyungsoo’s eyes turned to the small in-screen where his face was displayed. sure enough, despite the size and the resolution, tama si jongdae—he was blushing.

 

he nodded and did not dare to speak kasi baka ano pa ang masabi niya. baka masabi niya pa yung totoo kay jongdae and mawala na yung plausible deniability niya. 

 

he settled for a soft, “what am i going to do, JD?”

 

"do _you_ want to do something?” jongdae's lips curled in worry as he gestured with his right hand. 

 

kyungsoo considered it before he said, not really answering, “i kissed him on the cheek and then he said it was nothing. so i kind of, like, started ignoring him.”

 

bumuka ang bibig ni jongdae and his face was half way stuck into an expression that clearly said _what the fuck_ and _kyungsoo, nung nagsabog ng katangahan ang diyos, nasa ground zero ka_. the face looked stupid but kyungsoo was not able to laugh.

 

“why did you even do that?” jongdae asked in frustration. he sounded like kyungsoo’s mom when he was a kid and he colored their white walls because they looked boring. 

 

“i don’t know, okay? defense mechanism?” sabi niya. 

 

he needed to defend himself from migs kim or something. kasi baka nga for migs, wala lang yun. migs had done a whole lot other than cheek kissing to a friend and baka that was what he wanted kyungsoo to be, _that_ kind of friend. hindi alam ni kyungsoo if kakayanin niya because one, hindi siya ang type ng tao who would enter in those kinds of mutually beneficial relationships, and two, no matter what jongdae’s face was saying right now, hindi siya tanga. meron pa rin siyang sliver of self-preservation instincts. 

 

“and now you want me to tell you what to do?” sabi ni jongdae.

 

kyungsoo paused.

 

“holy shit,” sabi nito. “you already _know_ what you're going to do!”

 

the moment lumabas iyon sa bibig ni jongdae, kyungsoo realized that yes, he knew what to do. he knew what he wanted to do. he just was not sure if he should so it.

 

“talk me out of it?” he said slowly.

 

“why?” taas kilay ni jongdae. “you want to confess right?”

 

kyungsoo nodded because jongdae knew him so well. jongdae saw one pause in his movements and knew that kyungsoo had decided on what to do, even before the moment he had pressed the icon for the facetime video call. 

 

he nodded and jongdae sighed.

 

“kyungsoo,” jongdae said. his voice was hard and serious. kyungsoo had rarely heard jongdae sound like this in the entire four years of their friendship. the last time, and the first time, was when the other man promised that nothing would change between the two of them, upon finding out their _similar_ circumstances with kyungsoo’s ex, junmyeon.

 

“yeah?”

 

“deserve ka ba ni migs kim?” tanong ni jongdae. he was staring at the screen, not quite at kyungsoo’s eyes, but at kyungsoo’s face. kyungsoo felt self conscious under the scrutiny. 

 

the question struck kyungsoo like lightning, or a solid punch at the chest. like someone dug their knuckles over his skin to puncture his sternum. the question hurt and kyungsoo was not even sure why it did. it hurt for him, it hurt for jongin miguel.

 

love was not a question of who deserved whom. if people were to just get the love that they deserved, then they should just go to banks to get their feelings exchanged for currency. love was not about the question of being deserving of and for it because love, at its sincerest form, was immeasurable.

 

_love is not earned—it is accepted._

 

softly, he replied, “does that even matter?”

 

jongdae paused and then, he cracked a smile, before he chuckled. kyungsoo had no idea why but he could understand. he thought jongdae did too—understand him. probably. the older man had always been smart, smarter than anyone kyungsoo had met bar migs, if he were to keep tabs. 

 

“then there’s your answer, kyungsoo,” jongdae said indulgently. “go get your man— _or whatever._ ”

 

for the first time since kyungsoo had put himself into this situation, he genuinely smiled. _or whatever_ sounded pretty appropriate for what he wanted to do. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

fear, kyungsoo had learned, was cold.

 

he froze up at miggy's contact name as his eyes roamed over the letter. from the m to the y, something gripped him, as if telling him to stop. kyungsoo paused and backed out. nasa bed pa rin siya, now staring at his phone, naman.

 

kyungsoo closed migs’ contact page and went to gabby’s.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

kyungsoo spilled out of his rented grab car with jittery fingers. he barely managed to thank the driver before he was closing the door and rushing to gabby. gabby was quick to wrap himself around kyungsoo as the taller male led the both of them inside.

 

ang ingay. kyungsoo hated noisy places like this, he disliked the sounds and the numerous bodies around him. he would not even be here if not for migs being here and while he was not happy about migs being in a club, it was not like he had any right to complain.

 

when gabby and migs’ table finally came into his line of sight, the first thing kyungsoo saw was a girl on top of a man. he crinkled his nose because, ew, making out in public. kyungsoo was a little conservative at heart because of his upbringing and while _some_ PDAs are cute, some PDAs must be kept inside the bedroom. he was about to crack a joke to gabby when the man underneath the girl moved, just a little bit, probably to push his hand further up the skirt of her tight dress. 

 

the first thing kyungsoo saw was the glint of the light against the red garnet on one ear lobe and then the length of the jaw that kyungsoo wanted to map. the girl stumbled as she stood up, pulling and dragging the male behind her. the earring walked at kyungsoo before the couple turned away.

 

all kyungsoo could register was the tightness in his chest and the gut-wrenching sigh he wanted so desperately to let out.

 

but he didn’t. exhaling seemed painful, and one sigh of air, kyungsoo thought, might completely make him collapse. his eyes were getting blurry, which was stupid since he was wearing his glasses.

 

_ah,_ he thought. love was not earned—it was accepted. that much was the truth, but kyungsoo felt like he was already rejected before he could even give it to miggy.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

the rest of the night passed by in a blur. kyungsoo could not think straight. the beer did not taste good but he downed it one after another. he was not sure if the bitterness was the alcohol or the heartbreak. everything was tinged with the tears that would not quite fall.

 

gabby took him home. he did not answer any of migs’ calls. the last time he had seen his screen, the missed calls were at nine and counting. 

 

kyungsoo broke another heart that night, he thought. his and gabby’s.

 

_misery did love company_ was the last thing he managed to think before he closed his eyes alongside the click of the wooden door against the doorjamb. 

 

maybe tomorrow the pain would have gone away. maybe tomorrow he would wake up in his brother’s condo and everything was a stupid nightmare.

 

maybe tomorrow, hindi na mahal ni kyungsoo si miggy and everything would be fine. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

kyungsoo woke up because the doorbell was ringing incessantly. he stirred in the bed and blinked a few times because the sheets felt unfamiliar. the colors were all wrong. he sat up from the bed and the first thing he thought of was _ang haba ng sleeves ng tshirt na suot ko_. he looked down at himself and the pair of boxer shorts that was tight around his thighs. kyungsoo did not own plaid boxer shorts. he was not even a boxers kind of guy and everything was disorienting. 

 

he heard something outside and kyungsoo’s head roamed around the bedroom he was in. he spotted his round glasses sa bedside table and he picked it up by its thin rim. he wiped the lenses with the hem of the shirt that was not his. there was a comb close by which was weird. kyungsoo was semi kalbo. he did not own a comb.

 

he stood up, sleepy and groggy with a slight headache. kyungsoo placed his glasses on the bridge of his nose and the room came into focus. his memory cleared up the way his vision did. he remembered being in gabby’s condo and the taller guy trying to coax him into a semblance of order so he did not die during the night. he remembered gabby trying to kiss him and asking him a question. he remembered not really answering and he remembered tilting his head a little bit so gabby’s mouth hit the corner of his. he remembered feeling sorry for himself and for gabby. he remembered getting drunk. he remembered migs leaving the club with the girl, all giggly and handsy.

 

kyungsoo remembered all of that and he went outside the room, rubbing his eyes. the moment he stepped outside the opened door, it was like a pin dropping itself in the middle of a silent vacuum. parang any moment, merong sasabog.

 

“ _gabriel,_ ” a familiar voice hissed in anger and—pain? frustration? kyungsoo knew the emotion well. “ _what the fuck_.”

 

that was an ice cold water to the face and kyungsoo gasped and tried to break out from his parched throat, “migs?”

 

he could see miggy pausing in his step. his fist was curled and he looked like he was about to hurl himself to his best friend’s feet, rain blows down each other’s face. but more than the anger, kyungsoo could see the way migs’ eyes looked blood shot and how he looked like he had gotten no sleep.

 

of course, he thought bitterly. of course he had gotten no sleep. he was probably up all night with that woman and kyungsoo could not even feel mad at the girl, because why would he? he was nothing. kyungsoo was like that kiss on the cheek—nothing. _wala lang_. he and miggy were not together. 

 

“kyungsoo,” miggy said and kyungsoo froze because that was his first time to hear migs sound like that. like—like he was desperate. like he was sad and mad at the same time. kyungsoo did not want migs to sound like that, no matter what would have and had happened between the two of them. no matter what did _not_ happen.

 

kyungsoo opened his mouth pero walang sound na lumalabas. the only thing he could do was fiddle with the edge of the shirt that gabby had loaned to him. there was a fraying thread at the edge and he rolled it between his thumb and his index finger.

 

the thread broke just as gabby laughed. kyungsoo thought gabby did not sound very happy. he turned his attention to the tall male, still dressed in plaid boxers. similar to what kyungsoo was wearing. gabby was looking at migs and he probably did not realize it, but he smiled a little bit. his mouth quirked to the side/

 

“nothing happened, gago,” he said as he went to pick up his discarded clothes from last night.

 

kyungsoo watched gabby dress up because watching gabby meant he did not have to watch migs. he did not have to look at miggy’s face. 

 

“i’m going,” chanyeol gabriel said as he headed for the door. he turned a round a little and found kyungsoo’s eyes again. his gaze slid over migs’ for a moment before it returned back to kyungsoo. 

 

gabby smiled at kyungsoo and said, “ask migs what you asked me last night.”

 

kyungsoo could feel his eyes widen. the question he had asked gabby last night echoed in the room, even if he was the only one who could hear it. 

 

_“do you think he feels the same way?”_

 

last night it was a rhetorical question to gabby, a rhetorical question that gabby answered anyway. it did not really matter, kyungsoo already knew the answer. gabby, too. he did not know why he should ask again. maybe gabby wanted kyungsoo to hear it straight from migs. it would be easier to move on that way. miggy could also apologize, that would make it better. at least, kyungsoo had a bandaid for the wound.

 

he heard migs made a small noise and kyungsoo still was not looking at him. not yet. not at his face and definitely not sa mata ni miggy. ayaw makita ni kyungsoo ang reflection niya rito. 

 

gabby lifted his hand and turned his back from the two of them. he waved a bit and said, “try not to fuck in my condo.”

 

the front door closed with a click and vaguely, kyungsoo heard a guillotine dropping. he was probably hallucinating or being an overdramatic bitch. heartbreak tended to do that to a person but then again, the only thing he had for comparison was junmyeon. and even that, did not feel like this. with junmyeon, it was like letting out a slow sigh. it was a fire that was slowly dying or a soda that had already fizzled away. it was an inevitability and kyungsoo had grown used to the end before it had even come.

 

this, he thought, was not like that. kyungsoo did not even have to opportunity to give himself before it was thrown back to his face. it wasn’t migs’ fault. miggy had never promised him anything. he had never led kyungsoo on. kyungsoo was the one with pesky feelings and it was not migs’ place to worry over kyungsoo’s heart.

 

ang kay kyungsoo lang, _tangina_. ang sakit talaga.

 

hindi niya narealize na nakatingin pa rin siyang parang tanga sa pinto until migs whispered, broke, “soo, please look at me.”

 

he sounded like he was begging too, like any moment migs would break. gustong mainis ni kyungsoo kasi why was migs the one who sounded like this? hindi naman siya yung nasaktan ah.

 

he looked at the taller male in the eye and said, dry, “what are you even doing here?”

 

migs froze up and his eyes darted to the plastic bag on the floor. kyungsoo squinted and made out cans of red horse sa loob. there were two red bulls too and one glass bottler of jaeger—probably for jaeger bombs, kyungsoo resisted to roll his eyes. 

 

“i went to your place but nanay lumeng said you were not there—” oh, so nanay already arrived from the province. “—and then i went here to gabs ‘cause i had no idea what to do.” migs sighed in frustration and kyungsoo held himself off from screaming at him, or telling migs to get out of gabby’s condo. 

 

a tiny part of him wanted to take gabby’s advice, to ask migs the question he had asked last night. but kyungsoo was scared, for one. he did not want to hear the truth from migs. he would rather shoot himself down than have migs do it to him.

 

kyungsoo cocked a brow and he felt really ridiculous because he was still dressed up in gabby’s loose shirt with his plaid boxers peeking out underneath by an inch or so. migs was also standing around like an idiot but kyungsoo was thankful that the other male did not take a step closer to him.

 

he would either punch jongin on the gut or kiss him on his mouth. kyungsoo did not know which was worse.

 

“you weren’t answering my calls,” jongin miguel said. both their eyes went to kyungsoo’s phone with its screen turned down. kyungsoo did not remember that from last night but the finer and smaller details were already lost on him.

 

“i was busy getting drunk last night,” he said, deadpan. shrugging, he corrected himself nonchalantly, “or early morning.”

 

kyungsoo wanted to applaud himself for being so level headed, for maintaining his composure and not breaking out in tears. he felt like he was hugging himself, trying to keep it together. migs would get tired soon and then kyungsoo could collapse and just rest. he was long overdue for a good cry anyway. regular tears kept him sane and emotionally stable. it was good for the body.

 

something flashed in migs’ face and kyungsoo pegged it for hurt. he wanted to ask why migs looked hurt when it was kyungsoo who felt like he was being ripped inside when he walked in on migs making out with that girl, when it was kyungsoo who saw him walk away with her, hands roaming all over her body. bakit si migs yung mukhang nasasaktan when it was kyungsoo na nagmahal? si kyungsoo ay may feelings dito, hindi si migs.

 

“i—” migs paused, gulping. “yes—last night.”

 

kyungsoo watched as migs tried to gather his words. a pink tongue darted out to lick a plump bottom lip. migs’ eyes were dropping slightly and for a moment, kyungsoo thought of how handsome migs was. he tried to shake that off because that was what got him in the mess in the first place. he thought migs was handsome and tall and cool and then he started seeing everything that was migs—that he was kind, and polite, and caring. that he was funny. and then kyungsoo started caring and now here he was, broken hearted like a fool.

 

he did not say anything, he did not even bother offering anything. kyungsoo watched as migs steeled himself. he saw the way his eyes harden with conviction. his adam’s apple bobbed up and down, once, because he swallowed. kyungsoo saw all of that because he did not like migs right now, but he loved migs still. he saw all of that because kyungsoo was always looking, when it came to miggy.

 

“i want to tell you something,” miggy said. 

 

kyungsoo just stood there, waiting. migs took one step and then another. he closed the distance between them in seconds and kyungsoo was startled because miggy was already right in front of his face. he could smell his cologne wafting from him and he noticed that his hair was still damp. he probably rushed through to kyungsoo’s house and then to gabby’s.

 

kyungsoo looked down at the distance between their toes. they were so close, but also, so far. kyungsoo wanted to reach out but he was not sure what migs would say.

 

“soo,” miggy said. kyungsoo’s eyes were drawn to the hands on migs’ sides. his fingers twitched and kyungsoo wondered if migs wanted to hold him too, like how he wanted to hold migs. the thought seemed nice.

 

“soo, look at me,” the taller man said, requested. begged.

 

kyungsoo heard the plea underlying the soft voice and looked up. miggy was looking down at him, through kyungsoo’s glasses, past the lens, and into kyungsoo’s eyes. the conviction was still there but his eyes had gone soft now. kyungsoo remembered catching migs looking at him like that before, many times. usually when kyungsoo was being stupid and cracking jokes or when kyungsoo was humming songs under his breath. it made his chest ache.

 

“i am in love with you,” miggy said. kyungsoo’s eyes widened and wondered if he heard right. maybe he was hallucinating. baka naman lasing pa siya. ang bilis naman ng mga pangyayari. that was not what he was expecting migs to say. that was not even on the list of things he was expecting migs to say.

 

“i love you, soo," he said again—as if there was a difference. kyungsoo understood, there was a difference. somehow, miggy saying the words scared him. 

 

“you’re lying,” he said, equally soft.

 

migs shook his head and said, repeated really, “i love you.”

 

kyungsoo made a noise at the back of his throat that was half way in disbelief and half way dying animal. he took a small step backwards because migs’ cologne was wafting through his nose and he felt like pavlov’s dog, reacting to the smell and wanting to just sink himself into miggy’s embrace.

 

jongin smelled like comfort, like bo's at 2 AM during finals week or like study sessions at matteo up when kyungsoo had no idea how to prep for his exams. migs was late night texts and early morning facetime calls, when kyungsoo was too lazy to go to class and migs had to physically pry himself away from his bed by picking him up from his home and driving him to ateneo. migs was—

 

“but last night—” he trailed off. he did not want to talk about last night.

 

“i was drunk and stupid and confused,” migs supplied.

 

“that does not make it any better,” kyungsoo answered.

 

migs shook his head and he looked contrite and sad, apologetic. kyungsoo did not want to hear an apology. migs hand nothing to be sorry for, kyungsoo knew that. they weren’t together. he was not mad. migs was not cheating on him or anything of that sort. but who would tell kyungsoo that migs would not do that again, that migs would not be drunk and stupid and confused. 

 

he wanted to tell migs that but all kyungsoo could do was ask, “if you love me then why did you do that?”

 

migs shook his head. “soo, i was—i wasn’t thinking.”

 

kyungsoo shook his head. “miggy,” he said and he could see jongin visibly perking up at the nickname. he paused and considered his words carefully. “i—i have a lot of things to say, too.” he took a deep breath and held off the confession that was resting on the back of his mouth. “but let me think first, please.”

 

migs paused and he closed his eyes. there was a sad smile on his lips and kyungsoo wanted to wipe it off of the other man’s handsome face. the expression did not suit miggy. jongin miguel kim fit bright yellows, soft hues, after hours clad in gold. he was not made for gloomy blues, and dark skies.

 

“okay,” miggy replied. “anything you want, kyungsoo.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

inuwi siya ni migs sa bahay nila. the car ride was quiet when normally, kyungsoo would be blasting his various playlists, laughing at miggy’s annoyed expression or his disgruntled commentaries. normally, it would be filled by kyungsoo’s laughter because two songs in, miggy would always end up swaying to the beat or tapping his fingers against the steering wheel in time with the song.

 

today, there was neither music nor laughter. migs was just driving through the roads smoothly and kyungsoo knew that the other man was sneaking glances because their eyes caught the other at least three times. kyungsoo was sitting beside the driver’s side in the jeans he had worn last night and the large shirt that gabby had lent him. he had the rest of his stuff folded and stuffed into a healthy options paper bag that migs had taken out of gabby’s own cupboard. 

 

by the time they reached kyungsoo’s gate, the smaller male had already been feeling jittery and nervous. he also felt dirty from wearing his old clothes and all he wanted was to take a bath and hide under the blankets. he did not want to think about but he thought it would be unfair to migs to be left hanging. he wanted to give an answer.

 

“miggy,” he said as the car smoothly turned into a stop in front of his house. “just — just give me a couple hours,” kyungsoo gulped. he could not and did not want to look at jongin miguel, afraid of what he would find at the man’s face. “i have some — some thinking to do.”

 

kyungsoo looked down at his lap and found migs’ hand on the handle brake between them. he was clutching the length of it tightly, tight enough na kitang kita ni kyungsoo ang pamumuti ng knuckles ng binata. he wanted to smooth it out but kyungsoo was a mess right now and he did not want to give migs the wrong answer. the both of them should be fair.

 

in the end, it was migs who broke the silence.

 

“i’ll be here,” he said. “hintayin kita.”

 

kyungsoo paused before he nodded. he clutched the paper bag containing the clothes. the last time they were in this position, he had stupidly kissed migs sa pisngi niya. like a fool, kyungsoo had panicked then. who the fuck even panics sa kisses sa cheek? this was all kyungsoo’s fault.

 

in the end, kyungsoo replied with a rushed out, “see you later. i’ll text you,” before he rushed out of the door. he could clearly hear the way the door slammed as he ran to the gate, ringing the doorbell.

 

he peeked behind him and migs’ car was still parked in front of the gate when nanay lumeng opened it for him. he walked quickly inside, not daring to look back.

 

kyungsoo went inside the house and left nanay lumeng to close the gate. he normally would wait for the older woman but he really was not feeling well, he wanted to take a shower and get himself rid of his borrowed clothes. he remembered gabby’s words from this morning, telling him to ask migs his question. 

 

it seemed like migs did feel the same way but now kyungsoo was unsure if he wanted to take that one leap forward, if it was even worth it. kyungsoo was scared because now he just was not responsible for himself, he was responsible for migs’ too. he did not know what to do because he loved migs, he loved him so much that it hurt last night, but at the same time, kyungsoo did not like migs right now—did not like the man’s effect on him. he was scared of many things but mainly he was scared of himself, unsure of what the two of them would become. 

 

he slammed the door to his room and hightailed it to the shower. he stripped out of his clothes and threw everything in the hamper. he stepped under the spray of the water and turned the spray as hot as it would go. ang tagal ni kyungsoo na hinayaang mabasa lang siya ng tubig. if he were to be more dramatic than he already was, he would have cried and slid with his back against the wall. but as it was, kyungsoo was not playing his sad OPM love songs playlist so only a couple of tears managed to slip out of his eyes and even then, he was not sure if those were just water. 

 

he carefully cleaned himself, mechanical but methodical. napaka distracting ng self care, kahit na this was closer to him being a hermit again, hiding his head underneath the sand. he wanted to pretend that there was no ultimatum hanging over his and migs’ head, over their relationship. once he was smelling of strawberries, he stepped out of the shower to wash his face and brush his teeth. he wrapped the towel around his waist and went out to his bedroom.

 

he put on flannet pajamas and a large gray sweater. kyungsoo went to his vanity and thought, fuck it. he would do his skincare. self care was important too. he sat at his study table that was a little bit more of a vanity with the amount of studying it had been used for. kyungsoo took a flat, round cotton pad and soaked it with his toner. it smelled of roses and kyungsoo liked flowers a lot. he patted his face a little and let it soaked. he pulled his phone and plugged it into the charger. he had left migs’ car for around forty-five minutes now. kyungsoo did not even know na he took that long in the shower.

 

naglagay siya ng sobrang mahal na essence sa mukha niya and if napasobra siya ng kaunti, all he could do was put some past his neck, down his chest. kailangan din ng dibdib niya ng skincare or some shit. kyungsoo was not sad. he was not.

 

he pat it on and massaged his face, trying to pretend he was unbothered. skincare was good because it was expensive which meant kyungsoo was not about to cry. he grabbed a sheet mask infused with hyaluronic acid and went to his bed.

 

he placed that on his face too and carefully smoothed it out. it felt cold against his skin as kyungsoo lied down. he regretted not playing music because now he was comfortable but alone with his thoughts.

 

meron atang something sa sheet mask na ito. thank you, sephora, because kyungsoo’s mind was now working in overtime kakaisip. kakaisip about sa kung anong sasabihin niya kay migs, kakaisip sa kung anong gagawin niya. hindi niya alam kung anong gagawin, or well, alam ni kyungsoo ang gusto niyang gawin but he was not sure kung ito ang _tamang_ gawin.

 

paano kung mali ang maging decision niya? anong gagawin niya? kyungsoo did not want to end up with the short end of the stick with feelings so new, and so unbearably strong. it was not like this with junnyeon.

 

with junmyeon, it was easy. they were young and kyungsoo was fresh out of high school and he joined junmyeon’s org because he thought that the older man was cute. they started as friends but their friendship began with the explicit and very obvious understanding that they would not stay as friends for long. the two of them flirted and dated until junmyeon just decided to call him his boyfriend one day. they did not even have an anniversary because of how everything went.

 

not that it was of importance, they broke up before they even reached they imposed one year anniversary. their feelings had gone dead and cold and neither of them wanted to or had the time to make an effort to salvage the remains of the corpse that was their relationship. they broke up shortly 

 

with migs, it was different. they started out as friends and despite migs’ intention with kyungsoo, whether he wanted to befriend kyungsoo to be a potential fubu, kyungsoo ended up falling in love migs. he ended up being in love with migs and then, ended up loving him. miggy was just — kyungsoo could _not_ just love jongin miguel. 

 

he sighed and closed his eyes. maybe there was something sa sheet mask niya, because kyungsoo started falling asleep. he had never been the smartest person, like, ever and until now, he had always joked about how he got in sa ateneo. it wa no surprise that all this thinking was making him exhausted.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nagising siya with a start because someone was knocking at his door. kyungsoo sat up, groggy and feeling even more tired, and pulled the sheet mask off of his face. it was dried already and he stood up to toss it sa trash before he took some moisturizer and massaged it sa mukha niya. he opened the door and nanay lumeng went inside, carrying a plastic cup of milk tea from coco—panda milk tea, kyungsoo’s favorite—and a KFC wrap.

 

when he opened the pack, kyungsoo was surprised to see it was his favorite flavor, california maki.

 

“kanina pa ko pabalik balik ng katok, kyongie,” sabi ni nanay lumeng. “ayan tuloy lumamig na ang KFC mo. tunaw na rin si coco.”

 

for some reason, nanay lumeng always referred to coco like it was a person. natawa ng slight si kyungsoo and thanked his nanay.

 

“did you go out, nay?” he asked. siguro nanay lumeng felt na malungkot siya so she bought his favorites.

 

“hindi,” careful na reply ni nanay lumeng. kyungsoo was confused kasi yes, KFC could be delivered pero not coco milk tea. he stabbed the top of the cup and took a sip. malamig pa rin so nanay must have put it sa loob ng fridge. medyo watered down na ang lasa but kyungsoo would always order his a little too sweet naman and this one tasted like the usual order. 

 

“um saan ‘to galing, nanay?” he asked. he sat down sa may bed and nanay lumeng sat doon sa chair in front of his study table. he bit into the KFC wrap and felt a little bit better. he did not realize na nakakagutom din pala mag-isip.

 

“eh di kanino pa,” sabi ni nanay lumeng with a sigh. “kanina pa yan binigay ni miggy mo. umalis lang ata saglit kanina tapos pag balik, may dala ng pagkain. bigay ko daw sayo kasi di ka pa kumakain.” kyungsoo’s eyes widened and he must have looked stupid with a wrap half way into his mouth. nanay playfully glared at him and added, chiding, “nako, kyongie! ano bang sinasabi ko sa mga diet diet na yan? wag ka ng magdiet, pumapayat ka nga ata. ano bang gusto mong ulam—”

 

pinutol niya sa nanay lumeng because what? what did nanay lumeng say?

 

“miggy?” he asked. napainom siya ng milk tea. parang mas matamis na ata ngayon once na nalaman niya kung kanino nanggaling. ang perfect ng lasa.

 

“oo nga kasi, kyongie,” sabi ni nanay lumeng. binaling niya ang concerned na tingin kay kyungsoo and added, “may problema ba kayo? kanina pa siya naghihintay sa labas! nakaharang sa gate yung kotse niya pag naabutan ni mommy mo ‘yun, papagalitan pa kayo.”

 

napahinto si kyungsoo and he had a lot of questions but the only thing he managed to say was, “kanina pa siya naghihintay?”

 

kyungsoo’s heart went three sizes too big for his narrow chest. parang hindi lang siya ang tataba, pati puso niya rin. he was supposed to be mad at miggy but now that he had fallen asleep, he felt a little better. also, the KFC wrap and the panda milk tea from coco. tangina, ito lang pala ang katapat niya.

 

“yes, kyongie,” sabi ni nanay lumeng. “malapit na maghapunan. mga limang oras na naghihintay si miggy sa labas. naka-on lang yung kotse sa labas ng bahay. sayang sa gas. kanina ko pa pinapapasok, pero ayaw niya. magagalit ka daw.”

 

kyungsoo sighed. talagang nadamay pa si nanay lumeng.

 

“nanay,” sabi niya with a whine. binaba niya yung wrap sa may bedside table and continued. “i love migs.”

 

tumaas ang kilay ni nanay lumeng. hindi man lang nanlaki ang mata niya as if she was not confused at the revelation. 

 

“kung mahal mo naman pala,” sabi ni nanay lumeng, “bakit siya naghihintay sa labas? tinulugan mo pa, ikaw bata ka talaga.”

 

hindi alam ni kyungsoo kung maiiyak siya or matatawa. kasi oo, nakatulog siya. five hours ng naghihintay si miggy sa labas ng gate nila. naka-on ang kotse, sayang na sayang talaga sa gas. that was bad for the environment. 

 

“kasi nanay,” kyungsoo said, explaining. “i’m mad at him.”

 

“oh tapos?” sagot ni nanay. “kung galit ka, awayin mo. mag-usap kayo. mahal mo, ‘di ba? eh didapat pakinggan mo.” lumapit ang matandang babae sa kanya and she patted the back of kyungsoo’s hand. 

 

“kyongie, hindi mo naman dapat gawing complicated ang pag-ibig. kasi kung mahirap ‘yan, hindi ‘yan love. mahirap ang mga bagay sa paligid, mahirap ang sitwasyon, pero kahit kailan, never naging mahirap ang mismong pagmamahal.”

 

kyungsoo’s eyes widened as if in realization. nanay lumeng did know best.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

lumabas si kyungsoo from his house and he did not see migs’ reaction kasi heavily tinted ang windows niya. he knocked doon sa passenger’s side, yung side na malapit sa gate, and agad itong bumaba. he could see migs looking hopeful, small smile sa pogi nitong mukha.

 

“can we talk?” kyungsoo said. he nodded sa direction ng gate and added, “inside?”

 

miggy nodded and kyungsoo stepped back as the window rolled back up. he did not hear the driver’s door open but he heard it slam shut tapos yung tunog ng locks clicking into place. kyungsoo waited in his large sweater and flannel pajamas for migs to come around and when he did, he was surprised.

 

migs was handing him a large bouquet of roses, arranged carefully with baby’s breath between the red petals. kyungsoo held it in his hands and he prayed that their neighbor from next door won’t come out to walk her dog because she was the one who frequently gossiped. ayaw niyang maging next topic ng titas of varsity hills sa weekly lunch nila. he could not imagine kung ano ang reaction ng mommy niya once she heard the story of _attorney do’s youngest son accepting flowers from a man who waited five hours outside their gate in his pajamas_.

 

he walked back inside without a word and miggy followed him, steps slow and measured. he kept his hands to himself but he leaned down and smelled the flowers. mabango sila—amoy bright future, kyungsoo thought, giddy.

 

tangina talaga. ang dami niyang gustong sabihin kay migs pero para na naman siyang tanga. he went inside and did not see nanay lumeng anywhere so she probably went to her room to let them be. kyungsoo went upstairs and lumingon siya kay miggy to see him following behind. migs smiled at him slightly.

 

they went to kyungsoo’s bedroom and he set the bouquet sa taas ng bed. kyungsoo looked around and gestured sa seat sa study table niya. miggy sat there, thighs crossed and hands over them. his back was straight and it was such a weird sight because migs always sat with his legs spread open, and his arms sprawled everywhere. like he was trying to take as much space as possible. kyungsoo sat on the edge of his bed, waiting. 

 

migs’s eyes roamed around kyungsoo’s room. there was nothing much to see. it was very minimalist and utilitarian. kyungsoo had a large window that was drawn shut that led to his personal balcony. there was another seat there, facing outside. the TV in front of the bed was turned off. he had the small penguin stuffed toy that he used to carry around until he was eight displayed underneath the TV.

 

the taller male’s eyes stopped doon sa half-eaten wrap and the milk tea na obviously bawas na.

 

“kinain mo?” miggy asked. kyungsoo nodded and watched as migs’ sigh in relief. 

 

silence engulfed the both of them again. kyungsoo desperately wanted to break it but what was he supposed to say. his eyes went to the glint of the earrings on each of migs’ lobes. the garnet was twinkling under the lights of kyungsoo’s bedroom.

 

“soo,” it was migs who spoke first to break the quiet in the room. his voice was so soft but kyungsoo could hear it amidst the silence of his bedroom. “i’m sorry—i’m sorry for what i did last night — early morning.”

 

kyungsoo lifted one shoulder and the spoke the truth that was hanging over them. “you don’t have to apologize.” he paused and kahit na masakit, sinabi niya pa rin. 

 

“hindi naman tayo. wala namang tayo.”

 

migs made a gentle noise, like he had been shot. kyungsoo knew the feeling from the sharp pain sa dibdib niya. to say that it hurt was an understatement. perhaps because it was the truth and that was way the pain was tenfold, manifesting in layers.

 

“soo, please,” migs said. he was half way out of the chair now.

 

“i wasn’t lying,” kyungsoo lifted one shoulder. “you don’t have to apologize for sleeping with that girl.”

 

“i didn’t sleep with her,” migs said. “i couldn’t”

 

kyungsoo froze up at what migs had just said. he opened his mouth and tried to speak but nothing came out between his lips. nothing but an exhale of breath.

 

miggy paused and sighed too. “i wasn’t apologizing for whatever happened between the girl and me. i was apologizing for hurting you.”

 

kyungsoo nodded and looked down at his lap. he said, “i don’t like you. you made me sad.” it was plaintive and kyungsoo fiddled with his fingers. he had to tell it to miggy straight. “but i love you.”

 

he heard the sharp inhale that migs took and kyungsoo looked up to check the expression on the other man’s face. migs looked — he looked happy. kyungsoo noted the way his face slowly distorted into a hesitant smile. kyungsoo returned it with a small grin before miggy beamed at him and he stood up.

 

kyungsoo held his palm and migs stopped in his tracks.

 

“you only get one chance,” sabi niya. “if you do that again…” he trailed off, hoping his glare was threatening. migs closed his eyes as he exhaled a laugh and he stepped forward to meet kyungsoo.

 

migs visibly hesitated, unsure of what to do. kyungsoo sat on the edge of the bed and migs nodded to himself before sinking on both his knees in front of kyungsoo. his eyes were trained back up and his palms were resting flat sa thighs ni kyungsoo.

 

“thank you,” he said. he sounded so sincere and so grateful, like kyungsoo had given him everything with that once chance. “liligawan kita if that’s what you want.”

 

kyungsoo nodded. he had never been courted. junmyeon did not do it. one day, they were toeing the lines of friendship and the next, they were already in a relationship.

 

kyungsoo turned quiet and he was not sure what to do. miggy was still looking at him, staring at kyungsoo’s face through his lashes. kyungsoo liked the view from up here. it was pretty perfect.

 

marami pa rin siyang takot. hindi niya alam what would happen. hindi niya alam kung anong mangyayari sa kanila ni migs. takot siya dahil one moment, migs could find another person. one moment, he would stop looking at kyungsoo like _this_ —like he was grateful for that one chance.

 

hindi alam ni kyungsoo ang lahat ng iyon pero—

 

paano niya malalaman kung hindi niya aalamin? paano niya makikita ang sagot kung hindi niya hahanapin? paano niya makukuha kung hindi niya tatanggapin?

 

at the end of the day, love was not deserved—it was accepted. it was given. 

 

people would tell kyungsoo that migs did not deserve him, but that did not matter. dahil hindi naman kailangan i-deserve, kailangan lang tanggapin. 

 

“say something,” jongin miguel practically requested, maybe even begged. the sound broke him out of his thoughts.

 

kyungsoo could have said a variety of many things but he leaned down and pressed his forehead against the other man’s own and said, “hi, miggy.”

 

miggy laughed, chuckling under his breath. he sounded so happy and kyungsoo thought, _that was because of me_. the idea sent shivers down his spine and giddiness bubbled in his gut. he hoped migs would think like that too. like every time he made kyungsoo smile, he would think— _i put that there_.

 

kyungsoo gave a soft sigh, contented. migs moved his head side by side, nuzzling the tip of his nose against kyungsoo’s own. the small smile was still playing on his lips.

 

“hi, soo,” migs answered.

 

kyungsoo wanted to kiss migs but he held himself back. migs had to make it up to him still and he figured he could let the other man wait. love may not be earned, but kyungsoo’s kiss was.

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_ and finally, happy na sila. not a happy ending, of course, but that is because migs and kyungsoo are just beginning. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that is it for migsoo, bati na sila. hahaha i had a hard time thinking what to do with this chapter. i was like 'what's the rational way for kyungsoo to forgive miggy' and me being me paced around the house thinking of an answer before settling for 'fuck it love isn't rational' so yeah
> 
> next chapter will be the penultimate... b's POV and the gabaek sort of conclusion, but not quite


	14. where do broken hearts go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mommy whitney, nahanap na ni b ang answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i figured i should put notes siguro 
> 
> \- the marx thing was real but it happened to my prof lol i was the one who piped up with the 'THAT'S CO-WRITTEN' lol if you're gonna read marx anyway try niyo alienated labor (excerpt to) or das kapital (tho di ko pa to tapos kasi puta haba)  
> \- deliberate yung jersey ni gabby cos sergio ramos' number is 4 sa madrid  
> \- i love asparagus  
> \- music 22 is a ktv bar sa katip  
> \- all songs are real songs lol i was supposed to use a gambino song but i wanna make a kim k reference in relation to ksoo and ye fits so yanno

the moment na bukas ang mga mata ni baekhyun, alam na niyang something big will happen this day. 

 

his fubu from last night was still sleeping sa tabi niya and baekhyun rolled around the bed with a groan. hopefully, magising sa noise niya ang baklang nameet niya through a friend. the dude asked him out on a date and baekhyun corrected na _hohol lang, no dates_ but the other man was more interested in what would come after the date itself. that was good in baekhyun’s opinion kasi same lang naman pala sila ng end goal.

 

so they went out sa chili’s and practically drank their way into their margarita stash and pagbalik sa condo ni b they busted out that new bottle of grocery bought red wine that baekhyun was pretty sure was from gabby. they finished the bottle while sloppily making out and trading funny stories. the sex was a little more than okay. the guy knew how to use his tongue which baekhyun was eternally grateful for kasi the last time he had a fubu and/or one night stand na hindi si chanyeol gabriel, it was a flop—as in, like, super flop. 

 

they fell asleep after three and a half orgasms which was one, amazing, and two, expected. siguro mga a little past two in the morning na rin sila nakatulog and baekhyun was too groggy and craving for something greasy.

 

so everything was normal, and boring yesterday which was why baekhyun concluded na something would happen today. something different that would shatter the monotony of sem break. thank god. 

 

nagstir si fubu from his sleep and he sat up, rubbing his hand sa right eye niya and yawning. nakahiga lang si baekhyun, stretching himself and arching his back. the guy looked down at him and he leaned down, attempting to kiss.

 

baekhyun covered his mouth and said, “kadire. no.”

 

the fubu laughed and he stood up in his boxers. or well, b's. he managed to snag it last night before he passed out and the fabric was loose around him. the guy was thin, thinner than baekhyun, and a little soft. he was cute though and really smart and he talked baekhyun’s ear off about french art and communism, among other things. medj weird siya but b smiled through the night and once the guy was drunk enough, he started being funny.

 

“my bad,” sabi nito. he stretched again while standing up, grabbing his phone. fubu tossed b’s own sa kanya and baekhyun glanced down, surprised to see there was one message from seven minutes ago.

 

**gabby** : omw to ur condo

 

that was the only message he got which was confusing to baekhyun. gabby offered no explanation at all. the other man would drop by sa place ni b but last he heard, gabby was supposed to be going out with migs and probably having debauched one night stands with whomever he had picked up.

 

“b, hey,” fubu said. he had shed b’s boxers and replaced it with his own. after, he was putting on his jeans from last night which was gross. “wanna grab breakfast with me? jollibee or pancake house?”

 

one, presumptuous that he already had an option where b would have to _pick_. two, contractual employees. 

 

three, thank you, chanyeol gabriel n. park, for practically serving the excuse b needed to throw this fubu out.

 

“uh, sorry,” b replied with an apologetic grin. the guy ate it up and frowned. “i have someone coming over later.”

 

baekhyun waved his phone and the guy frowned deeper. “you sure?” he asked again. ang kulit naman. b knew na the guy was being nice but he really should take the hint and umalis na from his studio. 

 

“i’m sure,” he smiled tightly. 

 

the other guy shrugged, “your loss.” naggrin pa ito ng kaunti, more like a smirk, to be honest. b knew he was attempting to be charming pero excuse lang ah, kasi hindi loss ni b ang pagreject sa breakfast offer ng fubu niyang magaling nga ang dila, mahilig naman na magmansplain. 

 

b smiled again, lips pursed. narealize niya na he was still naked so he took the thin sheet and wrapped it around his waist. he was too lazy to grab something to wear again and showering was out of the question kasi magtatagal pa si fubu sa place niya.

 

hinatid niya sa door si guy and b waved good bye like an awkward one night stand. the guy smiled crookedly and asked, “wala talagang kiss?”

 

“nope, sorry,” sagot ni b. one, hindi talaga pwede without brushing teeth. two, b was done with this guy already. the other male smiled at him and said something along the lines of how b should call him so they could do this again some time.

 

the guy _was_ cute and smart and kinda funny with enough alcohol but despite the guy being good in bed, and with his tongue, b did not feel any connection with him. parang ang off ng body chemistry nila. sex was good, yes, but the guy was fond of dirty talks, mindless. he sounded like he was straight out of porn and not in a good way.

 

baekhyun was not sure kung he was just being an asshole or talagang isa na siyang certified fuck buddy connoisseur. 

 

pagsara ng door, b remembered to lock it this time. he paused and then unlocked the door para makapasok na straight si gabby. before going to the small couch sa room niya. his studio was spacious considering na isang tao lang siya na nakatira dito. wrapped in the sheets, baekhyun grabbed the TV remote and browsed through the channels. he was a little too lazy to connect it to netflix so he just groaned and lied down sa sofa, putting his phone over and in front of his face.

 

first things first.

 

**b** : g 

**b** : just sneak in past the guard and reception

**b** : they already thought u live here anyway

 

a minute or so siguro and gabby replied again.

 

**gabby** : yea i’m near na

**gabby** : be there in ten

 

b sent a bunch of emojis from his recently used section, half of them did not even make sense considering that for some reason, he managed to include a bomb, a clown, an eggplant, and the flag of south korea.

 

he was still kind of sleepy so baekhyun closed his eyes for a bit. he really wanted to just rest them and he found himself drifting off. malapit na sana siyang makatulog but the doorbell echoed sa buong studio.

 

“fuck,” b cursed. malapit na eh. ang lapit lapit na and he would have fallen asleep. “bukas ‘yan!” he shouted. ugh. ang hirap sumigaw. b could still taste alcohol and something else sa bibig niya.

 

the door swung open and the first thing out of gabby’s voice was, “how many times do i have to tell you to lock your door?”

 

“good morning to you too, gabriel park,” b greeted. he lifted his head and looked at gabby’s face. he squinted and—

 

“were you crying?” b asked. ang pula ng mata ni gabby and his face was kind of puffy and oily.pati yung hair niya, very magulo and kind of greasy. hindi siya amoy mabango right now, b lamented. gabby looked rumpled, sobrang nakakawa. ganoon ba kalala ang one night stand ni gabs at mukha siyang hirap na hirap right now?

 

“no, shut up,” sabi ni gabby.

 

so he was crying.

 

“was your one night stand that bad?” b pressed on dahil one, chismoso siya. and two, kaunting push lang and gabby would spill it all out. he was the type who needed that little encouragement before he made kwento and if b was the one who had to nudge him to open his mouth then so be it.

 

“i didn’t even have sex,” gabby grumbled. he was undoing the buttons of his black dress shirt and b’s eyes squinted dahil it was not even put on properly. hindi naka match yung butones sa proper hole nito.

 

what the fuck was gabby up to last night and this morning na hindi niya magawang maayos ang sarili niya.

 

“tragic,” b answered. “fortunately for the both of us, i had.”

 

gabby nodded, as if in solidarity. he tossed baekhyun his dress shirt and it hit b square in the face. b crinkled his nose. ang baho na. grabe.

 

“puta,” he said. gabby shrugged and went into b's closet. b made a confused noise. “what the fuck, gago.”

 

“pa shower,” gabby answered. he closed b’s closet door with a handful of clothes. he had a black boxer briefs in one hand and a pair of adidas track pants and a real madrid sergio ramos jersey in another.

 

“andito pala ‘to,” gabby said absentmindedly. he lifted the football jersey and baekhyun shrugged.

 

“found it sa laundry ko,” he answered. that jersey was definitely not b’s. for one, he did not even like football. also, if he were to buy a football jersey, it would at least be gerard pique’s because he was shakira’s husband—or partner, b was not sure—and that was from barcelona which was the rival team.

 

without a word, kumuha ng bath towel si gabby from one of b’s linen and towel cupboards. he went straight to the bathroom and that was the only time that b remembered na hindi pa rin pala siya naliligo.

 

“tangina, gabs,” he called out. “pasabay.”

 

he heard a grunt and clothes falling sa tiled floor. 

 

“whatever,” he said.

 

b was totally not doing this para makasabay si gabby sa banyo. this would not be the first time that they would do this so it was all cool. wala rin namang no homo sa gagawin nila dahil for one, he’s a homosexual and gabby’s bi. nothing straight about two bros hitting the shower together.

 

this was, like, peak friendship.

 

dahil hubad na siya, b went in without a care. si gabby na lang ang nakikigamit ng banyo niya so hindi si baekhyun ang mag-aadjust.

 

they had done this many times before to converse water or try their hand at shower sex so b easily found his spot under the spray, in front of gabby’s. his back was against gabby’s chest as the water started beating down at the both of them.

 

“puta. ang laki laki mo,” reklamo ni b.

 

gabby snickered and dahil isa siyang twelve year old secretly, he added, “that’s what she said.”

 

baekhyun playfully smirked and looked up, looking over his shoulder too. nagtama ang mga mata nila and baekhyun gave an exaggerated lick sa lower lip niya, replying, “i bet.”

 

natawa si gabby and he reached around to take a hold of the shampoo bottle. b turned around para magkaharap sila as gabby took a step back for more space. he squirted a dollop over his palm and started massaging it to his scalp. b did the same, only finishing early kasi mas short ang buhok niya.

 

he was reaching for the conditioner when gabby bumped his hip. b, without a word, scooted over para mahugasan ni chanyeol ang buhok niya. the shampoo suds fell to the tiles as baekhyun ran the conditioner through his strands. gabby did the same also and b turned the shower off.

 

kailangan na mababad yung conditioner sa hair nila so baekhyun leaned against the wall and gestured sa general direction ng dick niya. 

 

“want to pass time?” he asked lasciviously.

 

gabby chuckled as he played with his hair, massaging the conditioner into the hair strands. 

 

“nah,” gabby shook his head. “not in the mood, b.”

 

tumaas kilay ni baekhyun. gabby usually had a shower orgasm, like it was a ritual.

 

“sure ka?” b asked again for good measure.

 

“yeah, i’m sure, b,” sagot ni gabby. he turned the shower on again and kahit na hindi pa narest ang conditioner sa head niya for long enough, he started washing it off already. baekhyun frowned but did the same. 

 

they continued in silence pagkatapos and while b hated na hindi sila nag-usap, at the very least, it was still comfortable. they would hand each other the bathroom products and gabby stepped out first because b wanted to use the sugar scrub he had.

 

gabby stepped out and went to sink. pinanood ni b si gabby from the corner of his eyes. the tall male was bending down to wash his face and then brush his teeth. he went out dressed in the boxer briefs. 

 

pagkalabas ni gabby, doon pa lang lumabas si baekhyun from the shower. he wiped himself down tapos he, too, washed his face and brushed his teeth. he patted his cheeks a little bit and wondered what was up with chanyeol gabriel.

 

the taller man was being quiet when normally, he would be hands-y with baekhyun. gabby would be cracking his corny jokes all over the place. the mystery of his red eyes, while now looking better, was still there. b knew na wala namang nangyari sa family ni gabby so that was out of the question na.

 

he went out of the bathroom with gabby sitting sa couch. the sergio ramos jersey was beside him and gabby was drying his hair with b’s hair dryer. the towel was tossed to one of the chairs and b sighed. like gabby, he was also dressed in a matching adidas track pants—actually a gift from the other guy—and no shirt kasi basa pa rin ang hair niya.

 

he ran the strands sa towel repeatedly and he sneaked a glance or two sa direction ni gabby. his hair was finally dry so b sat up beside him to use the dryer for his hair too. when he was finished, nakaupo pa rin si gabby. he had not moved at all and this was worrying b.

 

baekhyun stood up and went to his bedside table. he grabbed a comb and the strawberry hair tie na meron siya. it was a plain black tie na merong baby pink plastic strawberry design.

 

umupo si b and he patted chanyeol sa shoulder, showing his hand na may ipit. gabby sighed and gave him a small smile before he sat down sa floor between b’s legs.

 

this would have felt like deja vu except it was not. hindi ito ang second time na ginawa ito ni b. it was as much of a routine as anything else already.

 

baekhyun gathered and split gabby’s hair into fours. he wanted to put it in a fishtail braid so with deft fingers, his pads massaging the scalp, he went to work.

 

half way done na siguro, gabby broke the silence and spoke up. 

 

“migs likes kyungsoo,” he said. b almost slipped up and messed up what he was doing. 

 

“gago, seryoso ba?” he asked, incredulous. inayos niya yung part na nagulo and tightened it against gabby’s scalp para nakadikit.

 

“yup,” the other man replied. b could imagine gabby’s lips moving and pursing into a slight pout at the _p_ sound.

 

“as in like _like_?” baekhyun could not believe it. migs kim? _that_ jongin miguel kim? sounded fake.

 

“ _as in like like_ ,” gabby answered. he paused and lifted one shoulder lightly as b’s fingers moved again to finish the braid. “more than like, probably.”

 

baekhyun whistled. 

 

“tangina, kyungsoo do. sobrang powerful,” b remarked in amazement. migs was in love? gabby made it sound like he was.

 

“they’re in my condo right now, making up.” gabby’s shoulders tensed and b wondered why. “probably making out.”

 

b snorted. “gross.” he continued with the braid slowly. maybe gabby felt more comfortable telling the story now that his back was facing b and no one could see his expression.

 

“i think i like kyungsoo,” gabby said out of the blue.

 

b’s movements faltered and his heart started beating quick, threatening to burst out of his chest. tangina. ano raw? did b hear that one right? puta.

 

also, lord. ang sakit naman marinig no’n. the last time b heard something like that out of gabby park’s mouth, siya yung subject—or object of the verb. whatever the fuck.

 

“what do you mean?” he asked softly. b had no idea if he could even raise his voice because of how tight his chest was feeling. parang sinuntok siya ni gabby sa dibdib, no mercy.

 

gabby shrugged again and baekhyun quickly finished the rest of the braid. it did not come out messy and he tied it with the strawberry hair tie. the moment his hands were free, he realizes they were shaking.

 

buti na lang pala talaga at hindi rin siya nakikita ni gabby.

 

he placed his hands over his lap and he wanted to claw the stupid adidas logo out, to take the reminder that gabby bought these for him. gabby park, who apparently like _liked_ kyungsoo.

 

“nothing to explain,” gabby said. “i’m not in love or anything but, tangina pa rin.”

 

b wanted to breathe a sigh of relief at that but he could not. he did not want to. there was nothing to be relieved about. gabby was hurting and all b could do was listen. sure, he was rooting for migs before and he already had an idea about migs’ feelings just by spending a meal with him and kyungsoo but he had no idea that chanyeol was harboring affections for kyungsoo do.

 

sa lahat nga talaga ng kalbo sa mundo, siya na ang may pinaka mahabang buhok. abot dito sa apartment ni baekhyun sa sm blue.

 

ngayon lang ata nainggit si baekhyun ng ganito. this was like a rude awakening na yes, siya ang fubu. yes, siya ang original fubu but at the end of the day, he was nothing more than a fuck buddy and a close friend to gabby. this was a rude awakening that gabby could have feelings for someone, na he could fall in love with someone, the way he had had feelings for b and the way he had fallen in love with b.

 

he stroked the back of his hand with his thumb because he had no idea what to do. gabby was still sitting against sa back ng couch, right leg extended outwards and left leg folded up.

 

“kyungsoo likes migs also,” gabby added. he gave a frustrated sigh that was a mixture of disappointment and sadness. b’s heart broke. masakit na gabby was moving on, na gabby had moved on and was now finding someone else.

 

pero mas masakit na nasasaktan si gabby.

 

chanyeol leaned his head back and rested it against b’s thigh. he looked up and opened his eyes and baekhyun found the other man’s beautiful irises swimming in tears. he reached down and wiped the liquid that was starting to spill.

 

“baekhyun b. byun,” gabby said. there was a sad smile playing on his lips. “i’m glad i’m already rejected before i’m in too deep.”

 

hindi masabi ni baekhyun but he, too, was glad.

 

in the end, baekhyun replied, “just cry it out.”

 

gabby shook his head as he wiped the tears budding sa mata niya.

 

“bakit ako iiyak? football ba sila?” baekhyun concluded it meant that gabby had already cried about it, probably before siya pumunta sa condo nito.

 

gabby chuckled shortly, deep and under his breath, and baekhyun had never realized that laughter could sound like that—like two hearts breaking.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

hallelujah para sa sanity ni baekhyun dahil nagdamit na rin si gabby in a while. they ended up in the couch because chanyeol did not want to get into the same bed where baekhyun was fucked.

 

“ang arte mo,” sabi ni baekhyun as he stole the remote from chanyeol to pick a different netflix TV show. “parang ikaw hindi mo ko nakantot sa kama na ‘yun ah.”

 

“but that’s a different guy,” gabby pouted as he took the remote back. he queued up the third season of elementary and baekhyun did not say a word, approving gabby’s choice of TV show. b stood up and went to the fridge kase parehas silang hindi pa kumakain.

 

“speaking of different guy,” gabby said slyly. 

 

for someone who was broken hearted, baekhyun thought, gabs seemed like he had moved on already. but baekhyun knew the truth—gabby’s coping mechanism was to distract himself until he could finally forget the problem in the first place. hindi alam ni baekhyun if that was commendable or just plain stupid.

 

“what about him?” baekhyun asked as he picked eggs and full fat milk and placed them on top of the counter. even he could not mess up eggs. he had some sad looking scallions and grated cheddar cheese so he took them out too. for some reason, meron siyang baby asparagus so why the fuck not, kinuha na rin niya alongside the butter. and because he needed meat—the real kind, he took the ham from the freezer.

 

“you’re cooking me food?” gabby asked, amazed. “also, i mean, the guy—how was he?”

 

of course gabby would ask. hobby na ata nila ang mangjudge ng ibang tao. b did not know how this pattern had developed but somehow, he had always ended up ranting to gabby about his fubus. lahat kasi sila may fault and si mr. perfect in front of him lang ang literal na perfect to listen to b talk shit. gabby was more or less the same way, just less asshole-y. between the two of them, si baekhyun ata ang maraming personality faults. 

 

“kinda okay in bed,” he said. he took the cutting board out and the small knife kasi he did not trust himself to use the one that was actually for cutting. he sliced the ham into squares while the pan was heating up. pagkatapos niyang maghiwa, advanced siya mag-isip so lumayo siya ng maybe almost one meter siguro, planning to dump the ham.

 

“tangina, ako na nga,” gabby said. he took the chopping board and lumapit siya sa pan, dropping the ham sa oil. napasigaw si gabby kasi yes, may tumalsik.

 

“ayan. bibo mo kasi,” sabi ni baekhyun. gabby cursed but he powered through sa pagstir sa ham sa oil para maluto kahit hindi naman talaga dapat niluluto ang ham dahil cold meat siya (baekhyun learned this from gabby’s rant before). 

 

b chopped the scallions, mahilig sila both sa onions and their derivatives so dinamihan niya, and followed it up with the baby asparagus. he remembered na meron pa palang maliit na can ng corn so he got that from his cupboard and binuksan na niya rin. gabby was eyeing him oddly.

 

“what the fuck,” sabi nito. “are we putting all of those into the eggs?”

 

“yup,” reply ni baekhyun. he started fishing out some corn and spooning it into his mouth. he grabbed a bowl and cracked six eggs, three for him and gabby and splashed milk into the mixture. 

 

“and,” b continued habang he was beating the eggs. gabby finished with the ham and baekhyun handed a plate with paper towels. tinapon ni chanyeol yung mantika as be continued to talk, sneaking bites of corn from the can. “the guy was annoying. basta, he was kinda funny pero may mga moments na he was super mema.”

 

baekhyun cringed in remembrance. he liked _intellectual_ conversations pero iba iyon sa nagmamagaling lang. 

 

“what did he do?” chanyeol said habang he was melting some butter with kaunting olive oil. he added the sliced scallions and yung maliit na cuts ng baby asparagus. 

 

“he called me an intellectual bourgeoisie,” baekhyun bemoaned.

 

habang umiinom kasi sila ng drinks and baekhyun was telling the guy about a book that he had recently read and liked na feel niya bet din ni fubu from last night, the dude really said that, like, to his face.

 

una sa lahat, kung intellectual si b, he would not have found himself sa situation niya right now—tanga para sa isang lalaki. kaya please, ex-fubu, sana nga intellectual bourgeoisie na lang si baekhyun at ‘di lang bourgeoisie. 

 

“a what?” gabby snickered. “where the fuck did that even come from, gago?”

 

“apparently marx,” sagot ni b with a shrug. gabby poked sa asparagus and hindi naman nagbu-burn yung nasa pan kasi low lang ang heat. baekhyun handed the other male the egg mixture as gabby poured it as well. nilagay na niya lahat—bahala na. both of them needed food ASAP. 

 

“oh tapos?” gabby followed up as he stirred the eggs. matagal ‘to maluluto because of the low heat and the fact na anim na itlog ang ginamit nila but whatever.

 

“well, i asked him saan niya nakuha.” b rolled his eyes sa memory. “gago sabi ba naman sakin ‘ _from the communist manifesto.’_ ”

 

nagsnort si gabby. b knew na hindi pa nababasa ni chanyeol ang communist manifesto dahil—inside joke—kapitalista daw siya. he continued stirring the eggs lang.

 

“tapos—get this… syempre ang follow up question ko was what else had he read and baka he could rec me some para naman i would recognize na i’m an _intellectual bourgeoisie_ what ever the fuck that was.” nilagyan niya ng air quotations yung intellectual bourgeoisie. b was fired up now. ang lala talaga ng nangyari. omg ka, ka-fubu, he thought.

 

“ang reply ba naman sakin was apparently he had only read that book!” b exclaimed. natawa si gabby and nilakasan yung fire kasi fuck, soft and perfectly made eggs. gutom na sila both.

 

“that's not even the best marx work,” gabby said. “and it was co-written pa.”

 

“i know right!” b exploded. “puta. hindi worth it yung tite.”

 

natawa ulit si gabby and b, okay, relished sa sound nito. kahit na it was at his expense, sort of, kasi nga ang tragic ng nangyari sa kanya last night.

 

at least, gabby sounded marginally better with how he was laughing pa rin, slapping the counter as if yung misery ni b from his fubu and the intellectual bourgeoisie bullshit were the funniest joke ever.

 

“gago,” b said as he poked gabby sa side nito—muscular, yummy. “masusunog na yung eggs.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

masarap ang itlog ni gabby—yung nasa plate ni b ah! not the ones inside sa track pants ni chanyeol gabriel. hindi niya pa natitikman yun for today dahil una sa lahat, ayaw niya muna makipag sex. puta. his fubu last night was kind of rough. nagalit ata sa pagiging intellectual bourgeoisie ni baekhyun.

 

naging baboy lang sila the entire day. after ng everything-but-the-kitchen-sink omelette na niluto nila, naupo sila sa couch to watch elementary. b had a running commentary sa outfits ni lucy liu at mas mabilis din siya na nakakasolve ng cases because duh, he’s smarter than gabby—jot that down, okay? ilang episodes lang ay nainis na rin si gabriel park dahil laging mali ang hula niya sa mangyayari sa show so he practically bodied his way into b’s PS4 to play call of duty. dito, talo talaga si baekhyun dahil maraming practice si gabby.

 

talong talo siya pero ang saya saya naman ni chanyeol gabriel n. park so parang winner na rin si baekhyun.

 

oh ‘di ba, tanga talaga.

 

mabilis naubos ang oras nila with that and namalayan lang nila na madilim na when they had to turn the lights on kasi ayaw ni b ng lights out—on all things. siya yung tipo na naka-day mode ang twitter app always, ayaw ng dark. wala naman reklamo si gabby dahil siya na lang ang nakikilaro so tuloy lang ang pagkatalo ni b sa CoD. 

 

paubos na yung pizza bianca and peperoni pizza with isang bote ng 1.5 L na coke nila from shakey’s (dahil merong shakey’s supercard si baekhyun as a responsible medj adult living in katipunan) when they finally switched to FIFA. 

 

at first, ang saya saya nilang dalawa. chanyeol would do all ridiculous things kapag nakaka-goal siya ang sobrang bano ni b that the final scores would end up somewhere along13-4 which, first of all, hindi nangyayari sa real life football. hahamunin na dapat ni b si gabby ng _ano sipaan na lang_ dahil sa inis niya sa sunod sunod na pagkatalo and sa progressively more and more annoying na celebrations ni gabby when a little over 9 in the evening, nung nakascore ulit si gabriel, parang he was not into it anymore. 

 

binigyan niya ng curious glance ang taller male sa tabi niya. gabby’s shoulder had slumped down and b watched as the other man mashed the buttons without any energy. baekhyun turned his eyes sa screen and okay, singit. nice. amputa, ang pangit ng defense ni gabby. tangina nakalusot si pixelated lionel messi past the pixelated sergio ramos.

 

naka-score si messi and b celebrated until—

 

“oh my god ka,” sabi niya, turning to gabriel. “ang tahimik mo na now.”

 

gabby gave him a lift of his shoulder that was admittedly sad looking. what the hell. b needed to intervene kung pati ang shrug ni gabby was malungkot!

 

“tangina, gabs,” b said in frustration. “pwet lang yun! there are many fish in the sea, dude. and marami ring pwet sa katip!”

 

like me, isip ni baekhyun pero hindi niya sinabi. very unnecessary and uncalled for noon. napatingin siya kay gabriel and he wanted to add—

 

_yes, gabby, masarap maging atenista pero mas masasarap ang mga atenista so humanap ka ng pwet sa—i don’t know—ateneo trade? and move on!_

 

gusto niya talaga na bigyan ng pangaral pero baekhyun was not just a good fuck, he was also a good friend. he kept his mouth shut and waited for gabby to speak. 

 

“to be fair—” nagpause si gabby. ayan na, baekhyun prepared himself. at past nine in the evening, magsasalita na si gabby kung ano ba talaga ang problema. “—i really did think that kyungsoo could be more than an ass to squeeze.”

 

napatigil si baekhyun. para siyang sinapak sa solar plexus. parang nasipa siya ng friend niya na varsity sa taekwondo. parang tinamaan siya ng ex-fubu niyang champion sa fencing with his foil. tangina. aray naman. 

 

K.O.-ed agad si baekhyun b. byun. walang sinabi ang black belt niya sa taekwondo sa lumabas sa bibig ni gabby.

 

“are you?” he asked with an incredulous voice. salamat talaga st. ignatius de loyola at hindi nagcrack ang voice ni b. “are you in love kyungsoo?”

 

last he heard kanina, _like_ lang. hindi ganoon kaseryoso. pero baka gabby himself did not know how hard he had already fallen. puta.

 

nagshake ng head si gabby slowly. putangina. so gabby and migs both liked kyungsoo together?! yung part ni baekhyun na hindi nasasaktan was the part of him na chismoso. he felt like he was in a star magic coming of age film, gago. tangina ng plot line ng script writer. sana hindi naka-close up ang mukha niya, direk.

 

“it’s not that deep,” sabi ni gabby. “but still—migs is in love with kyungsoo. i’m not. i really was just—” 

 

sabay ng pagbreak ng boses ni gabriel ang pagbreak ng puso ni b. tangina, direk. please naman, CUT!

 

“—b naman kasi,” gabby whined. “akala ko kyungsoo could be _it_ na. i really felt myself falling eh, pero tangina… nauna si migs sa ‘kin."

 

nagshake ng head si b. wala siyang masabi. wala siyang maisip except _what the fuck_ at _napakasakit, kuya eddie_. 

 

“you know what?” sabi ni b, standing up. he turned his back from gabby so that the other man would not see his face, so he would not see na ang init ng mata ni baekhyun. na basa na ang mata niya with tears threatening to fall.

 

sana malaki ang talent fee niya, direk, dahil this was an Oscar-worthy performance. ang galing umarte ni baekhyun na hindi siya nasasaktan.

 

“kailangan mo ng two things—” baekhyun paused for dramatic effect. “—alak and music 22.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

hindi na sila nagdala ng car ni gabby dahil dagdag pa ito sa carbon monoxide or whatever sa environment. alam din ni b na maglalasing sila so what was the point of bringing a car na hindi naman nila maibabalik. tumawid sila sa ilalim ng overpass and a part of b died, the atenean part, kasi oh my god, that’s bawal. hindi sila tumawid sa tamang tawiran. though, full disclosure, wala talagang tamang tawiran sa part na ito ng katip. they walked quietly sa madilim na gabi habang nagnanakaw ng tingin si baekhyun kay gabriel.

 

b was sad; he’s not dead. 

 

sobrang fit ng sergio ramos dry fit jersey ni gabby sa kanya. thank you talaga, real madrid. yung sleeves nito putok na putok sa biceps ni gabriel and b remembered na yes, this jersey was bought last year nung nagmunich si gabby and he almost got mugged when he went to madrid. sa santiago bernabeu pa niya binili itong shirt na ito and gabby would not let go of it kahit na maliit na sa kanya, kahit na fit na fit na sa masarap na borta beside b.

 

kung hindi lang siguro peak stupidity baka b offered himself to gabby na. sabihin niya na pwet niya ang cure sa heartbreak. sex ang bandaid sa wasak na puso. ibubulong niya ang request niya na warakin ni gabby ang pwet niya tulad ng pagwarak ni migs kim and ni kyungsoo do sa puso ni gabby.

 

pero no, hindi pa ganoon katanga si baekhyun. sayang naman ang 3.81 na QPI niya (nagbago na from the results of the 1st semester) kung aabot siya sa point na ipre-present niya sarili niya na parang first aid kit.

 

so wala siyang magawa but magnakaw ng tingin, tulad ng mga sandaling ninanakaw niya with gabby. tulad ng pagnakaw ni kyungsoo sa puso ni gabriel. 

 

gustong magalit ni baekhyun kay kyungsoo. gusto niyang maiinggit pero tangina, hindi naman fault ni kyungsoo na ginusto siya ni gabby. mas lalong hindi fault ni kyungsoo na ginusto niya si jongin miguel. 

 

sadyang pangit lang talaga ang cards na binigay ni tadhana kay b. kasalanan din siguro niya dahil two years ago, binigay na ni universe ang royal straight flush sa kanya tapos tinapon lang din niya. hindi niya sinugal so ayan, kahit three of a kind, wala siya ngayon.

 

nung malapit na sila sa music 22—ang layo pala—tumingin ulit si baekhyun kay gabby and found na…

 

gabby was also staring down at him.

 

namula si baekhyun and he thanked the moon and the stars kasi wala sila ngayon so hindi maliwanag. hindi nakita ni gabby ang blush sa cheeks niya. 

 

inisip ni baekhyun kung tulad niya, nagnanakaw din ba ng tingin si gabriel sa kanya. iniisip niya kung iniisip pa rin ni gabby yung summer before sophomore year. iniisip niya kung tulad niya, was gabby also imagining the alternate universe wherein baekhyun b. byun said yes?

 

kasi b had thought of that and then some.

 

ang saya talaga mangarap ng libre pero the moment na matapos na ang oras, the moment na magring na ang bell, mas masakit. all the what ifs were hanging over baekhyun’s head and his biggest what if was chanyeol gabriel himself.

 

what if sinagot niya? what if mahal na niya that time? what if he tried na mahalin? masaya kaya si baekhyun ngayon?

 

pero parang ang selfish.

 

kasi gabby park was more than b’s medium of happiness. gabby park _was_ b’s happiness, not some object that would help him attain it. kumbaga kay machiavelli, gabby park was the end, not the mean.

 

nagbook sila ng private room for three hours tapos um-order ng tig-tatlong bote ng red horse.one beer per hour kasi they would still need to go home. kumuha sila ng isang plato ng french fries para hindi puro inom and the grease would help the tama so mas matagal ang kantahan.

 

they went inside the room and kuha agad si baekhyun ng mic and ng song book. 

 

“dibs! me first,” he said. wala pa yung order nila pero dapat simulan na ang kalokohan na ito. hindi alam ni baekhyun kung para kanino ang healing time na ‘to—kanya or kay gabby?

 

hinanap niya agad ang song na bagay kay gabby _and_ sa kanya. punta agad siya sa W ng song book and WH—there! he found it.

 

tayo si baekhyun with matching wiggle and this was not the type of song na pwede kantahin while sitting down. kailangan niyang ma-nail ang kanta the way gabby could nail him kasi nakakahiya naman sa birth mother niya. his mothership deserved better, okay?

 

pagka-enter ng song, rinig niya yung groan ni gabby. the taller male picked his own mic up and said dito, “b, please.”

 

umubo lang si baekhyun and tumayo sa harap ng TV screen. he turned his back fully away dito dahil hindi niya kailangan ng guidance, memorize niya ang song na ito by heart.

 

“this song is dedicated to gabriel park who found the answer,” b said with all seriousness. in his mind, he added, _and to baekhyun bobo byun na rin_. “mommy whitney, broken hearts go to music 22.”

 

“gago ka,” sabi ni gabby sa mic. yes, gago talaga si baekhyun pero ang gago na ‘to ang currently na nagpapangiti kay gabby. hindi pa niya nakakanta ang song, mukhang good mood na ulit ang fubu niya. this was baekhyun’s power. 

 

“shhh, gabby,” pag-hush ni b sa matangkad na binata. “kailangan natin ipaalam kay mommy whitney nagpupunta sa karaoke bars ang mga broken hearted.”

 

_oops_. he sorta slipped. naging plural ang broken hearted. but anyway, hindi naman iyon napansin ni gabby kaya okay lang. napaka tanga rin talaga nito. that _mga_ probably flew out of gabby’s _english as the first language_ ass, to baekhyun’s safety.

 

nagsimula na ang instrumentals and nag-sway si baekhyun. mabagal ang start nito parang warm up vocals. ang mommy whitney ni baekhyun, need muna ng konting pampainit ng vocals cords before bumirit. 

 

“ _i know it’s been some time / but there’s something on my mind / you see, i haven’t been the same_ —“

 

hindi muna pumikit si baekhyun kasi gusto niyang makita ang mukha ni gabby. gabby was a music enthusiast and b and him had, more often that not, played around sa home studio nito. alam na alam ni gabriel ang timbre ng boses ni b and tuloy siya sa pagkanta, 10/10 making his mommy whitney proud.

 

tuloy tuloy lang si b and when the song hit that point, before the chorus, nagready na siya. hingang malalim—

 

“ _where do broken hearts go? / can they find their way home—_ mommy whitney, sa music 22 kami pumupunta— _of a love that’s waiting there—”_

 

natawa si gabby sa intermission ni b which was more important than a 99 score sa karaoke.

 

“tangina, b!” holler ni gabby. he was occasionally sipping his red horse already. “hindi ka pa lasing ah!”

 

medyo natawa siya but tuloy lang ng kanta si b. the show must go on. and half way through, para ng comedy bar ‘cause ginagaya niya na si mommy whitney niya. yung style ng pagkanta, yung nginig ng boses, lahat kuha niya because they shared the same DNA. 

 

gusto pumikit ni baekhyun para feel na feel niya yung kanta but hindi niya magawa. hindi niya magawa dahil he wanted to watch gabby watch him. ito ang isa sa mga instances that he had gabby’s full attention—na kahit na hindi heart eyes, gabby had star eyes directed kay baekhyun b. byun. 

 

“ _so here i am / and can…_ ”

 

todo palakpak si gabby with matching hiyaw pa and baekhyun soaked it up. hindi lang siya whore for gabriel’s attention, he was also a sponge. bumalik siya sa couch and he took a bottle of red horse, gulp kung gulp sa alcohol. kumuha rin siya ng fries na soggy, kadire, but kailangan kumain or else mauuna siya malasing. hindi pa naman mataas ang tolerance niya compared kay gabby na lamang na sa size.

 

gabby was flipping sa song book and baekhyun reached for the mic before siya magsalita. habit na nila na gamitin ang microphone during karaoke sesh nila kahit na may sasabihin lang naman.

 

“okay, chanyeol gabriel, your turn,” b said. medyo nagpause siya in realization na ang ganda ng quality ng mic, swerte. “pick a song that you will dedicate to migs and kyungsoo.”

 

gabby sneered but he continued flipping through the pages. tangina, seryoso niya for someone na hindi raw heartbroken. the tall male finally found the song and hindi niya hinayaan na maka-peek si baekhyun. he went and stood up din, beer bottle in one hand kasi cool siya. puta.

 

nakita ni baekhyun yung title and yung rappers but nothing registered sa utak niya. okay so _cold_ by kanye west featuring dj khaled. hindi familiar si b kasi hindi ito ang music taste niya. he resisted the urge to ask kung dj ba si dj khaled as gabby started. syempre hindi sinasabi ang word na hindi pwede kay gabriel as a filipino-korean, naka-censor ang dapat i-censor because gabby knew his stuff. 

 

“ _can i have a bad bitch without no flaws / come to meet me without no draws—_ “

 

b took a deep breath and napainom siya ng red horse kasi gago. _gago_. gusto niyang sumigaw sa mic para magrequest na murahin siya agad. ang tacky ng kanta and b was still waiting for the ball to drop kung bakit ito ang napili na song ni gabby para i-describe ang feelings niya. but more importantly—

 

more importantly, ang hot ni gabby magrap. hawak niya yung mic sa right hand tapos sa left yung bote. yung expensive watch ni gabby glimmered—tangina, rolex culture. his bicep would flex habang hawak lang naman niya yun mic and parang wow, ang tight nga talaga ng sergio ramos dry fit jersey ni gabby. 

 

“ _don’t talk about style ‘cause i embarrass you / shut the fuck up when you talk to me ‘fore i embarrass you—”_

 

sa right hand ni gabs, the one na hawak ang mic, he extended his pinky and then his thumb ng slight. tumingin ng matilim kay baekhyun before he tilted his head slightly doon sa screen. hindi alam ni baekhyun where to hold, where to kapit, kasi gabby’s deep voice was echoing inside the tiny private room. may CCTV ba dito kasi if gabby park continued to rap explicit song, baka bigla siyang mapaluhod. 

 

inom ulit si b because his throat was parched dry. DRY. he felt like he was already drunk kahit na hindi pa nga nangangalahati yung first bote ng alak niya. 

 

“ _and i’ll admit, i had fell in love with kim / around the same time she had fell in love with him / well, that’s cool, baby girl, do your thang—”_

 

halos mabuga ni baekhyun ang alak sa bibig niya because did he hear that right? was that a reference to—? and with the circumstances right now… tangina talaga ng sense of humor ni gabriel park. broken hearted na nga gago pa rin. b was smiling kahit na hindi naman siya ganon kasaya. he picked to enjoy na lang the front row seat sa hip hop concert ng ka-fubu niya.

 

“ _talking about clothes, i’ll muhfuckin’ embarrass you / hollering ‘bout some hoes, i’ll muhfuckin embarrass you / way too cold, i promise you need some theraflu—_ ”

 

ang verdict ni baekhyun sa song: tacky. ang verdict sa currently na nagrarap: yummy. the song quickly ended on an angry note, feel na feel ata ni gabriel yung kanta. he shook his head pa when it finished kahit na wala naman gumalaw kasi his hair was still braided. may strands na nag-escape and b longed to tuck it back. tangina naman gabriel park. inom ulit ng alak si baekhyun.

 

bumalik si gabby sa couch and may konting lull before b picked the mic up and said, “did you really just compare kyungsoo do kay kim kardashian? and ikaw with—kanye? what the fuck, gabs.”

 

natawa si gabby before shrugging. in one swift motion, uminom siya ng beer. he said after niya to swallow, “they both got the same ass.”

 

puta nitong gago na ‘to. if si b ang tatanungin, parang ang sarap sapakin ng smirk off of gabriel’s face. with his lips siguro kasi kink niya ang mga assholes. kink din ni b ang sinasaktan lalo na sa heart!

 

“o-m-g ka talaga, gabby park. puta,” sabi nito. “no more english songs. tagalog na lang from now on.”

 

“but b…” nagwhine si gabby. “we’ve only done one round.”

 

“nope. rule na now puro tagalog songs lang.”

 

“you just wanna embarrass me if i stutter!” reklamo ni gabby. 

 

okay, fine. totoo yun. but also, ang cute kasi ni gabby with his accent na nagta-try hard to do filipino rap kahit na flop. and when he sings, rolling his letter r kasi he could not physically stop it, b had no idea if he would laugh or coo. usually, he would just laugh kasi ibang level at territory na ang coo-ing.

 

inagaw niya yung song book kay gabby and he picked the go-to tagalog song that his gay heart had always fancied. favorite niya ito because of the irony but also, everyone knew this song eh. 

 

naggroan si gabby again and he was about to open his mouth but b held a hand.

 

“ops! you know the rules—bawal judgment sa song choices.”

 

this was a cardinal rule during karaoke. mortal sin sa mga ktv rooms ang manghusga sa kanta ng kasama. 

 

nagstart and song and b pitched his voice higher kasi he needed to do the intro the way it deserved to be done.

 

“this guy’s in wuv bid you, paye… ano?” he tilted his head for cute effect pa and ayun na—cue drums. “ _one look and then i knew iba na / malagkit dumikit ang tingin ng mata / one smile, iba na ibig sabihin / 'di na friends ang tingin niya sa ‘kin—”_

 

nagwink ng super exaggerated si b and he took a step forward para mas malapit siya kay gabby. saulo niya yung song dahil ito talaga yung funny karaoke song na bet na bet niya because it was the _no homo_ song that defined bromance in the philippines except, duh, baekhyun’s gay as fuck.

 

tawa si gabby, like full-bodied, slapping his batak thigh na tawa. b considered it an achievement. dinagdagan na niya ng dance steps pointing to gabby at _ang tawag niya sa mommy ko ay tita_ tapos binirit ang kasunod na _bakit ba, di ko non nakita_ kahit na hindi naman talaga dapat ibirit. this was a baekhyun b. byun remix, ayt?

 

sa chorus, lumapit na siya kay gabby. toe to toe na sila as baekhyun looked down sa naka smirk na gabby park. natawa ang matangkad na lalaki when baekhyun placed a hand sa chest and sang with his heart out, closed eyes.

 

“ _this guy’s in love with you pare / this guy’s in love with you pare / bading na bading sayo…_ ”

 

si gabby, sige, laugh pa. wala naman nakakatawa, b thought habang kumakanta kasi he was smart enough to multitask. walang nakakatawa kasi hindi naman siya nagjo-joke. this guy’s in love with you, gabby. bading na bading sayo.

 

nilagay ni gabby yung malaki niyang kamay sa may waist ni baekhyun for no reason at all aside from maybe trying to end baekhyun’s life right here, right now. he tugged downwards and pumiyok si b ng konti. tangina. balak ata ni chanyeol na bumaba ang score ni baekhyun. ito siguro ang grand plot niya as to why he was doing this.

 

of course, hindi papatalo si b. luhod siya sa magkabilang side ni gabby para nakastraddle ang lalaki sa harap niya. ang wide ng smile ni gabby as he looked up at b who was singing _tinataguan na nga, palaging late o absent / ang sabi pa rin / i’ll always have a friend…_

 

_“_ gago, b. you blame my sense of humor,” chanyeol said habang yung kamay niya, flat na flat sa balakang ni baekhyun with matching grip pa. kung nakikita siguro ng parokya ni edgar ang ginagawa nila while singing this song, baka maiyak sila.

 

“your gay. i’m bi,” dagdag nito. gustong sabihin ni baekhyun na _yes, pero hindi mo naman ako mahal._

 

saktong-sakto ang line kasi

 

“ _ooohhhhhh… ‘di kailangan na mag-oooooonn_ ,” birit niya ulit. wala na siya sa tono kasi he was channeling his inner mommy whitney.

 

hay, nako. ang perfect ng kanta na ito, b thought, because _this guy’s in love with you, gabby… ano?_

 

napa-smile si baekhyun while leaning down para eye-to eye sila ni gabby. the other guy met his stare head. puta, ang advaced mag-isip ni chito miranda. alam na alam ang buhay ni b before it even happened. hinigpitan ni gabby ang hawak sa hip niya as b sang, “ _bading na bading / converted pa rin / na nakikipag-fling sayo…_ ”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“wait, wait,” sabi ni gabby at almost one in the morning. patapos na ang three hours nila. b was on his second bottle of beer. mabagal pero may tama na siya ng konti. gabby was finishing his third kahit na mukhang hindi nagkaroon ng epekto ang alak sa laki niya. 

 

“ano na naman?” asked b as he rifled through the song book para mamili ng kanta.

 

“i’ll pick a song for your last song now tapos pick a song din for me.”

 

nagnod lang si b as he handed the song book kay gabby. he wondered if it was going to be some embarrassing song or maybe a trap heterosexual song about eating pussy kasi gago si gabriel.

 

chanyeol was the one who placed the song and b almost paused kasi bakit? nananadya na ata talaga yung gago na ‘to eh.

 

_sa ‘yo by silent sanctuary_.

 

gusto ba ni gabby na i-expose ni b ang sarili niya? hindi naman kataas ang notes, definitely na kayang kaya ni b-hitney houston, pero tumayo pa rin siya kasi tangina, hindi niya kakantahin ito while tabi sila ni gabby sa couch. nilagok niya yung natitira sa second bottle niya ng red horse which was a bad decision pero whatever, kailangan niya ng liquid courage para kantahin itong song na ‘to for gabby.

 

“ _minsan oo, minsan hindi / minsan tama, minsan mali_ —”

 

gusto ni baekhyun na tumingin na lang sa screen pero kasi puta, gusto niyang makita ang mukha ni gabby. ayaw niyang ma-miss ito. one blink, baka hindi niya makitang yung star eyes pala, heart eyes na. tuloy sa pagkanta si b, occasionally glancing sa screen for the lyrics. 

 

sa chorus, he faced gabby. he did not close his eyes kasi this was for him and him only. para ito sa lalaking sinabihan ni baekhyun ng hindi dati at sa lalaking sasabihan niya ng oo ngayon. 

 

“ _tumingin sa ‘king mata / magtapat ng nadarama / ‘di gusto ika’y mawala / dahil handa akong ibigin kakung maging tayo / sa ‘yo lang ang puso ko—”_

 

bagay na bagay itong kanta sa gabriel park at baekhyun b. byun dalawang taon na ang nakararaan, noong dinala ni gabby si b sa may tabing dagat. at the shores of a popular beach in batangas, gabby had a table covered in white cloth with the brightest sunflowers in a vase at the middle. b had an inkling what gabby was about to do but he played it cool, eating their salmon steak and whatnot. hindi na maalala ni b yung lasa ng isdang kinain niya pero naaalala niya yung mga sinabi ni gabby. 

 

_“b, i’m not sure if maniniwala ka, but i’m in love with you. will you be my boyfriend?”_

 

it was very straight to the point, very gabby park, but all b could answer was, _“i’m sorry.”_

 

ito ang buong kwento—ang buong kwentong tinapos agad ni baekhyun bago pa man sila makalampas sa prologue. 

 

“ _tumingin sa ‘king mata / magtapat ng nadarama / ‘di gusto ika’y mawala / dahil handa akong ibigin kakung maging tayo_ …”

 

hindi narealize ni baekhyun na naiiyak na siya until he ended the song and sat down. gabby was looking at him weirdly and with a soft voice, he said, “b,” sabay turo sa mukha ni baekhyun. the smaller man quickly wiped the burgeoning tears and laughed it off.

 

"i just remembered something,” he said.

 

“ikaw din heartbroken? aagawan mo pa ko ng moment.” gabby smiled at him slightly. his tone was joking and he laughed shortly before adding, “pick a song for me.”

 

siguro nga masokista si baekhyun, he thought habang he was keying in the song number. daig na niya ang gomburza sa ginawa niya. konting hirap na lang pwede na siyang gawing bayani ng pilipinas. isang kanta pa ay baka pwede na siyang maging santo. 

 

_bawat daan by ebe dencel._

 

balik siya sa upuan niya and si gabby naman ang tumayo. hindi alam ni baekhyun kung bakit kailangan nakatayo rin si gabby pero wala na siyang pake. ito na ang pinka tanga na gagawin niya sa buhay niya. ang makinig kay gabby na kantahin ang favorite song niya. at the back of his mind, he could hear sehun scolding him, saying, “nung nagsabog ka-martyr-an ang diyos, nakipag-agawan kay st. ignatius de loyola!”

 

“ _sa pagkumpas ng iyong kamay / aking landas nagabay / nag-iisang tiyak sa isang libong duda—_ ”

 

tama nga si imaginary sehun. nakipag-agawan siya ng kamartyr-an kay st. ignatius de loyola. siya pa nga siguro ang nanalo.

 

he watched as gabby park sing the song, seemingly to him, seemingly for him. tangina. a part of him ay kinikilig kahit na hindi na dapat. hindi naman dapat kiligin dahil past lang naman siya. ang past hindi na binabalikan. this was not a history class. 

 

pero kasi, puta. gabby park was singing with his heart, alam ni baekhyun. alam ni baekhyun because he knew gabby’s park. he held it once—kahit na noong panahon na 'yun, he was not ready for it. 

 

gabby’s voice sounded like it was stuck, like if baekhyun dug deeper, he would find a time capsule. it held a collection of memories that b did not want to remember.

 

sinabayan ni b ang pagkanta ni gabby. hindi niya kinuha yung mic. instead, he whispered under his breath. gabby’s jet engine of a voice took off and b held his at the tarmac.

 

“ _ang bawat_ —” gabby sang slowly. 

 

“ _kay tagal kong naghintay_ ,” ang kay b naman, sabay sa mahinang boses sa ilalim ng tunog ng gitara at drums.

 

“ _daan ko / ay patungo — (kay tagal kong naghintay) — ay pabalik — (ay pabalik) — sa ‘yo._ ”

 

hindi inalis ni baekhyun ang titig kay gabby ngunit hindi naman nakatingin ang binata sa kanya. he had his eyes closed, relaxed, like he had made peace with something. baekhyun wondered what. he never really wanted to know as the song slowly died.

 

gabby opened his eyes and his smile was tiny, like he knew a secret. his eyes met baekhyun across the small space that seemed like it was infinite.

 

“ _kung puso ko ay imamapa / ikaw ang dulo, ang gitna’t simula…”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

nasa mcdo sila ngayon, eating fries again. meron silang isang order ng hot caramel sundae between them at dito nila sinasawsaw yung fries na kinakain nila. after ng karaoke session nila, gabby wanted to sober up muna daw sa mcdonald’s kahit na b knew na hindi naman lasing si gabby. they walked through the length of katipunan with each other. gabby was walking beside the road with b tucked against his side. the two of them were quiet which was, while comfortable, left much to be desired.

 

ayaw i-bring up ni baekhyun yung nangyari kanina sa music 22 kasi baka wala naman. wala lang naman.

 

habang kinakain niya yung fries dipped in vanilla soft serve, gabby made a small noise, like he just cleared his throat.

 

“so…” he trailed off. b braced himself. “were you heartbroken also?”

 

tangina talaga ng tangang ito.

 

b sighed in frustration. “gago, ano ba? no ah.”

 

natawa si gabby and he held off both his hands. “eh why were you tearing up kanina while singing?”

 

ang unang instinct ni baekhyun ay sapakin si gabriel park straight sa pogi nitong mukha. nakakapersonal na ang katangahan nito. ang second instinct niya was to kiss gabby senseless. it wouldn’t be the first and it was not like mcdo katip was crowded at two in the morning.

 

“ano nga kasi…” gabby needled him, whining a little bit. kapag hindi ito tumigil, hahalik na si baekhyun. namumula yung mukha niya ng kaunti kasi puta itong lalaking ito, wala ba talaga siyang idea? “sabihin mo na. i kwento-ed alreads so it’s your turn.”

 

puta. nakakapagod na talaga. may enough na red horse sa sytem ni baekhyun now. not to mention na it was two in the morning. it was that time wherein bad decisions started sounding good, like they were out of genius minds.

 

“gago,” sabi niya. his voice broke at one syllable. hindi pa nga niya nasasabi, naiiyak na siya. b wanted to take the leap, gusto niyang magtaya. gusto niyang itaya ang lahat, for this one chance. “ikaw. gabby, i was singing the song for you.”

 

nagpause si gabby and his hand hovered over the fry. ang init ng mata ni baekhyun. ang sikip sa dibdib. nanlaki ang mata ni gabby and his mouth dropped open. he looked shocked and his hair was a mess in the braid baekhyun had done.

 

b still wanted to kiss him.

 

“b—i’m—what?”

 

he sounded so confused and b made an aborted noise that was half way a sob and half way a frustrated grunt.

 

“gago, i love you, gabby. i’ve been in love with you sincec january last year.”

 

tangina. oo nga. one week na lang ay one year anniversary na ng realization ni baekhyun.

 

“baekhyun…” gabby trailed off softly. his mouth was turned downwards and fuck that shit. why did gabby look so sad? why did he look so apologetic?

 

baekhyun’s breath hitched before it was stolen out of him. gabby shook his head and all b could do was slump down on his chair.

 

ganito rin kaya ang feeling ni gabby two years ago sa beach? when baekhyun said sorry with a small voice. gabby sounded like him back then. 

 

he rested his head and did something that the other male did not do.

 

b cried i front of gabby.

 

tears jut started pouring out of his eyes and he sniffled. tangina, ang sakit sakit naman. ang sakit sa dibdib, ang sakit sa mata, ang sakit sa bibig. this was grief. grief was all the love baekhyun felt for gabby—all the love that would go nowhere because gabby did not want it. grief was love with no place anywhere.

 

“ga—gabby,” he hiccuped. he couldn’t even look at the other man. “i’m sorry.”

 

hindi niya alam why he was the one apologizing. b wanted to apologize for what happened two years ago. he wanted to hate himself kasi bakit hindi siya naghintay. ang tanga tanga naman niya. bakit ba kasi hindi siya ready? bakit hindi niya pa mahal si gabby nung mahal na siya nito? 

 

he hid his face sa forearms niya. his forehead resting against the right one. when he blinked, he could see the plastic table. ang dilim.

 

narinig ni b na gumalaw yung upuan across from him. it scraped the floor and before he could wonder if gabby was going to leave him a crying mess dito sa mcdo, he felt a large hand cradle the back of his head. long fingers carded through his platinum blond hair and tangina, lalong napahagulgol si baekhyun.

 

“i’m sorry, b,” gabby said slowly. “not now.”

 

_fuck_ was a pretty good way to sum everything up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

once b calmed down, past two in the morning, they walked back to sm blue in silence. they crossed under the overpass, like what they did before the night started. b was still hiccuping occasionally and gabby had been quiet. what was once comfortable turned into something awkward. umiiwas si b kay gabby. masakit pa rin talaga. mas masakit talaga na ma-reject, he thought. 

 

they walked close to the lobby and b lengthened his steps para mauna na siya kay chanyeol. he had no idea why the other male was following him again. he had his wallet and car keys so pwede na siyang umalis, pwede na niyang iwan si baekhyun. 

 

malapit na si b sa glass doors. the area was dark and quiet. the night air was cold but something warm hit baekhyun’s back and something strong wrapped around him.

 

baekhyun’s breathing hitched once more. brokenly, he asked, “gabby, what are you doing?”

 

hinigpitan ni gabby ang yakap kay baekhyun and b felt the other man’s lips against the top of his head. konti na lang talaga ay sasaktan na ni baekhyun ang gagong ‘to. 

 

“i’m sorry, b,” he said again.

 

b made a confused noise. “you don’t have to be,” sabi niya. “wala namang mali na hindi mo ko mahal.”

 

gabby made a pained noise as if baekhyun was the one who pulled the trigger and buried the bullet to his heart. 

 

“b, no,” gabby replied. gabby was so warm around baekhyun. they must have looked like idiots—back-hugging in the dark. buti na lang it was late enough that no one was walking around anymore.

 

“gabby,” b sighed. “please let me go.”

 

hindi siya pinakawalan ni chanyeol and b wanted to flail around kasi ayaw niyang masanay. ayaw niyang umasa.

 

“just let me—” gabby made a sound at the back of his throat. “b, i don’t want you to be my therapist. i don’t want you to be some first aid kit kasi pinili ni kyungsoo yung best friend ko. you deserve to be more than that.”

 

ang daming gustong sabihin ni baekhyun. pwedeng, _i don’t believe in the concept of being deserving_. or, _okay lang, okay lang basta ikaw_. in the end, wala siyang sinabi. wala siyang masabi.

 

gabby continued.

 

“b, i love you—”

 

“gago, gabby. what the fuck.”

 

humigpit muli ang yakap na lumuwag na kanina.

 

“i love you in many other ways. siguro not the same way as before but i do love you,” sabi ni chanyeol gabriel. he sounded like he was crying too.

 

b sniffled. a sob made his chest tremble. if not for gabby’s arms around him, baekhyun would have shattered, probably.

 

“please, 'wag kang umiyak,” b pleaded. bawat luha ni chanyeol ay ang pag-asa niya. ayaw umasa ni baekhyun sa wala. 

 

he felt gabby shake his head behind him. nasa gitna pa rin sila ng dilim. may kaunting ilaw mula sa lobby ng condominium building ni baekhyun. it trickled slowly. there was a brief moment of silence that was broken by the hammer that was gabby’s voice.

 

“you have to wait, b. you have to wait for me. you have to let me fall in love with you again.”

 

baekhyun snorted. bakit parang mas malungkot pa si gabby compared to him? hindi alam ni b ang gagawin so he nodded, and replied, “parang sure na sure ka na mangyayari yun ah.”

 

he felt gabby smile against his head. or maybe he was just thinking that. lips pressed against the tips of baekhyun’s right ear. a whisper could have been lost in the middle of the dark was found.

 

“it happened once and it could happen again.” gabby chuckled lowly as his arms loosened around b. “besides, hindi ka mahirap mahalin, b.”

 

that made baekhyun smile. he managed to let himself step away from chanyeol’s hold. he turned around and said resolutely, “but we can’t be fubus anymore, okay?”

 

he saw chanyeol nod. silence passed once more. a moment, and then two.

 

“are we still friends?” gabby asked, vulnerable.

 

baekhyun nodded before he smiled again. he looked down at their shoes, the tips of them were almost kissing. for all the distance between their bodies, they really were not that far apart. 

 

there was something regretful in baekhyun’s voice as he voiced a question that had been looming over the two of them for all the years they had spent tangled together. 

 

right there, the question was drowned out by the loud sound of a honk, like a punctuation mark in the middle of a sentence that never quite finished. 

 

there was something regretful, too, in gabby’s reply of a short chuckle. a short hum before another moment of silence. b walked away and gabby did not follow. their footsteps were not loud but they were deafening in a way that was brought by how they were moving away from each other.

 

baekhyun wiped the tears from his eyes as the question remained hanging over his head. it spoke of regrets, and disappointments, stupidity, bad decisions. it spoke of time never really being on their side. 

 

it spoke of cards dealt too soon during the gamble that was love. 

 

it spoke of things that did not have answers.

 

_“bakit ba kasi hindi kita sinagot nung nagtanong ka?_ ”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok awayin niyo na ko


	15. migs and gabby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it is our ability to forgive that makes us better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be angsty but i was listening to kendrick's black panther album and to pimp a butterfly so like the first part is chill. 
> 
> everyone, say "thank you kendrick."
> 
> the second half though... mayhaps i did something.

 

migs remembered his joke kay chanyeol gabriel dati, when they fucked up and pulled the biggest patapon moves kay kyungsoo by getting drunk and not doing their part— _puta, para akong boyfriend na naghahabol_.

 

ang masasabi niya lang now sa past migs— _tangina, jongin miguel kim, ang sarap maghabol, at mas sasarap kung finally, boyfriend ka na rin_. 

 

to be fair, he and kyungsoo are still not together. they kind of are, sort of. it was complicated—migs knew that he fucked up and he had to prove himself that he could be a one-person man. migs did not say that he _did not even want_ to be a multiple-person man kasi baka isipin ni kyungsoo na he was just patronizing him. his ate told him not to sound like he was kissing kyungsoo’s ass, and no matter how much migs wanted to kiss kyungsoo’s ass in more ways than one, his ate jamie had a point all the way from where she was in new york. 

 

patience was the key or some shit. migs really was just enjoying being with kyungsoo. he enjoyed wooing—much to his own surprise. he enjoyed doing stuff for kyungsoo and not just because he wanted to do kyungsoo.

 

this was probably the biggest plot twist of his life. 

 

there were a few days left before the semester officially began but jongin miguel, who lived all the way sa south, was frequently nasa QC. memorize niya na ata ang loyola heights by this point, since he was always visiting kyungsoo. he hadn’t met the latter’s parents kasi that would be too soon but from what kyungsoo had told him, his mom was excited to meet him but his dad was neutral and on the fence about it—which meant he probably did not approve of migs but whatever, he’d cross the bridge later on kapag nakaabot na siya roon.

 

kyungsoo was the one picking him up right now sa review center where he was right now, trying to fit in whatever he could before the UP Law entrance exams this coming february. jongin was torn between going to UP or focusing on corporate law at ateneo. the important thing was, right now, he was trying to make use of his time.

 

excited na siyang magbreak ang class for lunch because kyungsoo and he were planning to grab a quick meal at go salads. kyungsoo was apparently on a ‘diet’ and migs was just letting kyungsoo do whatever he wanted. this diet would probably last until only the first week of the semester because kyungsoo would start going out again with his friends and classmates.

 

the moment na they were let out for lunch, mabilis ang paglabas ni migs with his laptop and some of his study materials. kyungsoo’s car was already waiting outside so he rushed towards the passenger’s side. he closed the door with a thud and leaned in to kiss kyungsoo sa cheek.

 

“i miss you,” sabi ni migs, giddy. it felt nice to say something and _mean it_. kyungsoo visibly flushed and migs wanted to tease him kasi kyungsoo was _kilig_ kahit na he did not want to admit it to anyone.

 

“miss you too,” kyungsoo mumbled in reply. jongin resisted the urge to squeeze the life out of kyungsoo because the latter was just too fucking cute. he rested his back sa seat niya as kyungsoo shakily drove out of the place. he was kind of a shitty driver and when they reached go salads, the smaller male had a problem with trying to park.

 

“ako na,” migs offered.

 

kyungsoo turned to him with wide eyes. his face was embarrassed and migs had no idea why, alam naman niya na kyungsoo was shitty sa parking but of course, all migs could feel was warmth when kyungsoo offered to pick him up for lunch kahit na malapit lang naman siya. it was probably how kyungsoo felt too when migs would offer him rides from varsity hills to ateneo which, in retrospect, sounded pretty whipped to migs’ ear.

 

whipped was a good way to describe him right now. kyungsoo had him wrapped around his chubby pinky. migs smiled at the thought—it sounded like the perfect position. 

 

lumabas si migs from the passenger's side and buti na lang walang traffic enforcer or tanod dito kasi kyungsoo got out of the driver’s seat when his car was blocking one part of the road. thank god na lang at bakasyon pa ang ateneo kasi walang cars, walang anything. esteban abada was practically dead. 

 

si migs na ang nagpark sa may 7/11. kyungsoo was cutely and prettily standing around sa labas, waiting for migs na mai-park ang sasakyan niya. once everything was okay, migs got out to meet kyungsoo, giving the shorter male his car keys. kyungsoo was wearing sweatpants so wala siyang belt hoop na pagsasabitan. nilagay na lang niya sa pocket niya before migs wrapped an arm sa waist ni kyungsoo para tumawid sila. it was, like, a narrow street and walang car pero kung makahawak siya protective.

 

kyungsoo did not remove his arm though and migs counted that as a point for him. he held the door open for kyungsoo sa salt bakery and the other man gave a soft _thanks, miggy_ sa kanya.

 

they went to the counter to order agad. nauna na si migs kasi kyungsoo was still looking at the menu and picking the food. he placed an order for one coffee kick smoothie, a balsamic mushroom chickpea panini, and one roasted tomato basil cream soup. the guy sa counter gave him the total but he shrugged and tilted his head kay kyungsoo, signaling na they were together.

 

heh. _together_. shit, ang sarap pakinggan.

 

kyungsoo licked his bottom lip and migs watched the movement with his eyes, standing there frozen. he heard kyungsoo order the breakfast smoothie and a squash soup. the cashier said their total and of course, dahil mabilis si migs and nakalabas na wallet niya, he managed to shove a one thousand peso bill bago pa mauna si kyungsoo.

 

the shorter man was pouting as jongin miguel placed the change in his wallet. he dropped the coins sa tip jar before kyungsoo told the guy na they were going to sit outside, doon sa salad bar. 

 

once there, kyungsoo went to the counter and ordered a sgt. steak salad. migs reached over and handed 150 sa guy and kyungsoo sighed, put upon, pero hindi siya nagprotest. they get handed the plastic container and umupo sila sa mga upuan. it was kind of cold today, kahit na noon, kasi hindi masyadong maaraw. the day was breezy and it was pleasantly cool considering na january.

 

kyungsoo prepared his salad, only putting half the dressing, before he cleared up the table agad. dumating na yung order nila from inside the shop and jongin took a bite of his sandwich as kyungsoo fished out a large chunk of lettuce with the slice of steak. he placed everything inside his mouth and migs watched the way his cheeks went all round dahil sa size ng sinubo ni kyungsoo. no innuendo ah!

 

pagkatapos ng isang bite ni kyungsoo he took a sip of his green smoothie. migs also had a spoonful ng tomato soup niya.

 

“alam mo, miggy, you’re so annoying,” kyungsoo said after wiping his mouth with the tissue. 

 

halos masamid si migs because _what_.

 

“hey,” he complained. “where did that even come from?”

 

migs took another bite of his sandwich and he noticed that kyungsoo looked at it longingly. he offered the panini to the other male and kyungsoo visibly hesitated. migs gave him an encouraging nod before kyungsoo leaned in for a small bite. his eyebrows furrowed before they rose to his hairline.

 

“uy. that’s super nice,” sabi nito before he turned his attention ulit kay migs. “also, ang annoying kasi you’re always the one paying. kahit dati when hindi pa tayo.”

 

fuck. napabilis tibok ng puso ni migs at what kyungsoo said. there was a _them,_ no matter how complicated. _them_ was simple—miggy had a lot to prove to kyungsoo but it was not like he minded proving himself to the shorter man. 

 

“this is me,” sabi ni migs with a pause. medyo nahihiya siyang sabihin. not because he was ashamed, but because kinikilig talaga siya. like, putangina. "i want to— _shit_ —i want you to know that i’m really serious about you.”

 

he felt his face heat up at what he had just told kyungsoo. he felt light but at the same time, he also felt the weight of the words he had just said—its enormity and the sincerity in them were pressing down on migs’ chest.

 

kyungsoo paused before a slow smile overtook his face. a small _oh_ escaped from his mouth. migs watched daylight bathe kyungsoo, and kyungsoo’s smile brighten the cool day. his smile was genuine and heart-shaped. the way his cheeks gathered and bunched up made little curves appear underneath kyungsoo’s crescent eyes.

 

and all migs could think was a soft _oh,_ echoing in his mind like a thousand i love you’s. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

naka connect ang macbook ni migs sa facetime as he waited for the other line to pick his video call request up. he was on his study table, answering some of the questionnaires from the review center. migs did not like doing things by halves so of course, he had to _magis_ his way into his law school of choice kahit na hindi siya sure if this was the path he really wanted to take. the option was good while it was there.

 

finally, the annoying face time sound stopped as the call was picked up. kyungsoo’s face filled migs’ screen and he felt himself smile at the sight, kyungsoo was patting his face with a flat cotton pad, saying, “sorry. was doing my skincare.”

 

“how’s tagaytay?” migs asked. kyungsoo was spending two nights there with his entire family as some sort of a last hurray before pasukan. the sem would start in three days but migs thought that this break seemed to be the longest he had ever taken.

 

“eh~” kyungsoo whined and lifted one shoulder. “papa and kuya kept talking about a recent case. mama had to scold them.” natawa ng slight si kyungsoo he picked a glass bottle. he poured some liquid sa kamay niya before putting it all over his face, patting and lightly slapping.

 

“ikaw? ano ganap?” kyungsoo followed up habang nagpe-press siya ng product sa mukha niya.

 

migs lifted the questionnaire he was doing. “reviewing for law school exams.”

 

nagmake face si kyungsoo and his nose crinkled. migs chuckled to himself when he heard kyungsoo say, “eww…”

 

“it’s not that bad,” migs defended himself. hindi naman talaga ganoon kasama. migs liked learning, even if he wasn’t much for studying.

 

nagshake ng head si kyungsoo in defeat. “i was telling papa about you going to law school awhile ago tapos he started asking me questions i have no idea how to answer. gusto niyang i-invite ka for dinner. he’s from UP law also, by the way.”

 

okay. migs would admit na medyo nag freeze up siya. last he heard, hindi impressed ang dad ni kyungsoo sa kanya but siguro the common factor of going or possibly going to law school impressed kyungsoo’s father, who was a famous attorney sa pilipinas—not for all the wrong reasons, thankfully.

 

“sure. kailan ba?” sabi niya with a tight smile. this would be his first time meeting the parents, meeting another person’s parents aside siguro from his close friends. first time na ipapakilala siya ng date niya to their folks, mostly because the dates migs had gone to ended up in something parents would not approve of.

 

it was simultaneously nerve wracking and exciting, in all the good ways. 

 

naghum si kyungsoo as he picked another bottle, this time maliit tapos with a medicinal dropper. nilagay niya yung thick substance sa face niya, massaging it all over. ang shiny na ng mukha ni kyungsoo and migs pressed the command, shift, 4 keys ng sabay before dragging the cursor sa screen to capture kyungsoo’s face. 

 

“hmmm…” the other man on the line hummed. “siguro once the sem starts na. i promise mabait siya.”

 

jongin doubted that. the attorney do that he had seen last time on TV seemed ruthless and smart.

 

“g lang,” sabi niya as he looked over his reviewer. hindi na siya maka-concentrate so he just closed it, finally, and tossed the bunch of papers away from him. tama si kyungsoo—this was disgusting. migs hated the monotony of studying. 

 

“speaking of the start of the sem…” kyungsoo trailed off. this time, he looked kind of hesitant. he bit his bottom lip and jongin took a screen shot again. he could post this on twitter para asarin si kyungsoo. 

 

“ano?” he asked. he relaxed sa upuan niya, watching kyungsoo on his screen. he finally let the tension bleed out of his shoulders. there was something relaxing talaga kapag kausap niya si kyungsoo, even before. 

 

“have you talked to—” the other man paused. he reached over to grasp his ear lobe, rubbing it in between his thumb and index finger.

 

migs paused. kahit walang name, alam na niya kung sino ang tinutukoy ni kyungsoo. he shook his head as kyungsoo frowned.

 

“miggy,” kyungsoo said. he stretched the last syllable, tone going down like he was disappointed and sad. there was a slight pout sa mga labi ni kyungsoo though migs was unsure if that was because of kyungsoo’s thick lips or because he was sincerely regretful at the situation they found themselves in.

 

“what,” he snapped back, a little defensive. kyungsoo recoiled and migs apologized immediately, feeling bad dahil he raised his voice kay kyungsoo. kyungsoo waved it off with a small frown.

 

“you really should talk to gabs, miggy,” kyungsoo said with finality.

 

it was not like migs disagreed. he knew that it hadn’t been a week or so before the incident at gabby’s apartment. he hadn’t said sorry yet about trying to punch gabby’s face in in anger and when kyungsoo had explained what happened—everything. migs just — he just shut himself off from his best friend.

 

it took two person to lose contact though. gabby had not texted or called or visited too. migs was worried about his best friend, but at the same time, he did not want to talk to him. he was not _angry_ , not anymore, but there were questions he wanted to ask, questions he was afraid of that gabby would answer. 

 

he swallowed, throat dry, as he nodded listlessly at kyungsoo.

 

“do it tomorrow,” kyungsoo suggested firmly. migs looked at the other man’s determined face, evident kahit na nasa screen lang siya ni migs. he added, “he’s your best friend, miggy. i don’t want to be the reason that you lose him.”

 

kyungsoo sounded so—sad. so sorry. migs sighed deeply, dragging the air out of his lungs like it was a hardship.

 

“you won’t,” migs tried to insist. kyungsoo quirked a corner of his lips at him.

 

kyungsoo would not be the reason why migs would stop talking to gabby but he did have a point that whatever limbo his friendship with the other man was, they needed to talk about it. migs had done some thinking himself and if he had to beg gabs tomorrow, he figured it was the least he could do.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

jongin had no idea where to start. he wanted to text gabs but he also just—he wanted to get this done and over with. his and gabby’s relationship had always been easy, like it was second nature. they had fought before but most of it was because they were being petty. the longest fight they had post-grade school lasted almost a day, until this one. migs had no idea how to apologize, or how to talk to gabby, because their relationship was not like that. it had never been like that.

 

he was parked malapit sa main gate of gabby’s village. hindi alam ni migs bakit nandito siya and not sa quezon city condo ng best friend—ex best friend?—niya. maybe it was intuition, or wishful thinking. a couple of establishments down, migs could see the flower shop that gabby used to frequent before. he was a regular; the owner who manned the small boutique knew him by name and order— _one dozen of sunflower wrapped in clear plastic, tied together with a bright yellow ribbon_. 

 

migs knew the order too, mostly because he went with gabby the first few times to calm his best friend’s nerves. ordering flowers was apparently anxiety inducing. migs had not known it then but gabby might have had a point, now that migs had already gone to order his first bouquet.

 

it was a little disappointing that gabby was not there, migs thought with a mar of regret. 

 

he sighed to himself, looking at the steering wheel. his hazard lights were on but he could not risk being caught by enforcers or patrol. migs took his car out of its park and went to the gate. the security guard smiled, sanay na with migs going into the subdivision. he handed his license as the guard waved him through.

 

the drive to gabby’s was familiar, chill. his phone was connected doon sa AUX and he was playing his favorite car tunes playlisht. kendrick’s _these walls_ was just about to be finished and migs anticipated maybe something straight out of freudian or maybe frank ocean. he almost banked his car at the curb when the familiar _ooooooyyyy_ played after the last instrumentals.

 

“gago,” he cursed. he caught himself being amused at the rear view mirror. _so that was why kyungsoo was messing with his phone_. he let the song play though because it reminded him of kyungsoo and medj inside joke na siya now. 

 

nagright turn siya and migs knew na sa end ng street na ito, bahay na ni gabs. mataas ang gate ng house nila so migs was sure that gabs would not see him until he texted. to be fair, he was not sure if gabby was even here but whatever. he had to take his chances and shit. 

 

he parked doon sa may harap nila. and okay, fine, he was sort of double parking and that’s bawal but his friendship was on the line here. migs looked at the paper bag he had on the passenger seat. it was either a peace offering or a bribe—whatever gabs wanted it to be.

 

natapos ang _bakit, papa_ and jongin was sure the next song was a frank ocean but he could not remember the title for the life of him. he picked up his phone and hit pause. nakatingin lang siya sa messaging app, wondering if he really should text gabby.

 

wala pang ilang second, he got a text from _soo_ [sakura emoji, revolving heart emoji, growing heart emoji].

 

**soo** : good luck today [fist bump emoji]

**soo** : whatever happens gabby is your bff [two men holding hands]

 

napa ngiti si jongin.

 

**miggy** : that’s gay

 

**soo** : stfu u r bi [angry face emoji]

 

yun lang siguro ang metaphorical nudge that migs needed. he pulled up his messages with gabby. ilang araw na yung last text—when they hit up the club in BGC pa. he typed out a _hey_ but quickly deleted that. 

 

_puta_. bakit _hey_? they never did that. they went straight to the point. tangina—their friendship had never been this weird, and awkward. 

 

“what the fuck, jongin miguel,” sabi niya sa sarili niya. he agressively started typing his message kasi fuck that—tama si kyungsoo niya. whatever happens, best friend pa rin niya si gabby.

 

**migs** : gabs i’m outside your family house

**migs** : r u here

**migs** : we need to talk

 

it sent sa imessage and migs flipped the phone para hindi niya makita yung typing icon. gabby was a fast texter, magrereply agad yun if he saw. and he would see it kasi what was gabriel to do during the break except for be on his phone or on his macbook.

 

mabilis ang pagvibrate and migs would admit this to no one but his hand sort of shook. he picked up the device and flipped it right side up, swiping to see the message.

 

gabs: yea i’m here

gabs: just go in

gabs: we can talk

 

migs breathed a sigh of relief as he killed the engine of his car and got out. he rang the doorbell and a minute or so, yung kasambahay nila gabby ng nagbukas. mukha itong nagulat sa presence ni migs. 

 

“ngayon lang kayo nabalik dito, ser megs,” sabi ni manang. “nasa kwarto niya si ser gabby.”

 

nagsmile si migs kasi ayaw naman niyang ipagsabi yung away—issue?—nila ni gabs sa iba. he said na busy lang siya and manang just let him in sa front door, nodding doon sa stairs. umakyat si migs after thanking the older woman and of course, he went straight to gabby’s room.

 

migs stood sa door before he knocked. he couldn’t remember the last time he knocked when gabby knew he was coming anyway. there was a short pause before he heard rustling from the other side. 

 

binuksan ni gabby yung door and the sight of him made migs feel bad. he looked like he had gotten no sleep and his hair was all over the place. he was dressed in some basketball shorts and a nike t-shirt. 

 

“hey,” sabi ni migs. gabby nodded at him and migs went inside to see the bedroom rumpled a little bit. the PS4 was turned on and the TV was paused at a football match. there was only one controller sa bed and gabby went the small cabinet sa ilalim ng TV set, picking up another controller.

 

“FIFA?” gabby asked. hindi alam ni migs why gabby was doing this but he nodded and took the other controller as gabby restarted the game para the two of them could be on opposing teams.

 

they picked PL teams so of course, migs went with chelsea and gabby went with man united. the match was quiet—which was a first kasi usually they would start trashtalking each other and the players. migs’ hazard scored a goal and gabby groaned. he chanced a look sa best friend niya and migs sighed, tossing the controller to the side.

 

“gabs,” he said. “we really need to talk.”

 

gabby shrugged. “about? there’s nothing to talk about.”

 

“gago,” migs replied pero without heat. _gago_ as in the place holder. “kyungsoo told me about what happened.”

 

nakatingin pa rin si gabby sa TV screen na nakapause right now. he lifted one shoulder as he fiddled around with the joystick.

 

“yeah, sure. whatever,” sabi niya. “it didn’t mean anything. i’m over it.”

 

migs felt like gabby was not over it. or at least, that was not the full story.

 

“are you?” tanong niya. it was supposed to be a rhetorical question that gabby was supposed to shrug at _again_ but the taller male tilted his head to the side before speaking.

 

“i like kyungsoo,” he said. migs took a deep breath. the air hissing into his lungs as it passed through his teeth. gabby looked at him, but not quite. “akala ko that would be, like, my second chance and shit, you know?”

 

migs knew, of course. the first chance, nareject si gabby. the second chance, inagawan siya ni migs.

 

“ _fuck_ ,” migs replied. that summed up what he was feeling right now. “i’m sorry, gabby. tangina.”

 

tumaas ang dalawang kila ni gabs.

 

“sure?” he asked with a slight lift sa labi niya.

 

migs stopped and—well. he wanted to say that he was sure, that he was certain na he was sorry. but at the same time, hindi eh. he was not going to apologize for his feelings kay kyungsoo. he was here to apologize because gabby was hurt but he would never apologize for the fact that he was in love with kyungsoo and kyungsoo to him.

 

“no,” migs shook his head. “but i’m sorry kasi you’re hurt and all that bullshit.”

 

there was a moment of silence and migs wondered if he really fucked up this friendship for good. the wondering did not last long kasi suddenly, gabby was laughing. it started as a low chuckle before erupting into loud chortles and dying with a snort.

 

“gago,” gabby said. “tangina, migs. you’re right. puta. i was hurt. i really, really liked kyungsoo. you know that night? i tried to kiss him—” migs nodded, sinabi ni kyungsoo what he remembered (even vaguely) from that night. 

 

“—but apparently i wasn’t you enough. i was, _fuck, man_ , that shit was painful but i thought you didn’t like kyungsoo that way. pero, like, you barged into my fucking condo all depressed and shit, dude, and i just knew na tanga ka na rin for him. mas tanga pa sa ‘kin.”

 

migs nodded because that seemed pretty fucking accurate. gabby ran his fingers sa hair niya, pushing it back. the tips tangled with the curls before gabby made a frustrated noise, leaving it be. 

 

there was a moment of silence again before gabby spoke up, a question that was deafening. 

 

“do you love kyungsoo?”

 

migs sighed and answered, “yeah. i really do.”

 

gabby released a long breath of air, like he was keeping it all this time, holding his breath for migs’ answer.

 

“you sound really sure.”

 

migs nodded. “‘cause i am.”

 

“ah…” gabby said. “that sucks, dude.”

 

migs turned to his best friend and said, “it really doesn’t.” 

 

gabby might have thought feelings were pesky, and an incovenience, but migs knew the truth—that gabby was just… cautious. which was why he was sorry that gabby got hurt over kyungsoo, because gabby probably thought kyungsoo was going to be _it_ in time. but migs got there first, and kyungsoo happened to be in the same place where he was. 

 

gabby shook his head and said, “tangina mo, migs. just—” gabby sighed again, frustrated. “—just keep each other happy and whatever the fuck else ginagawa ng magboyfriend. be disgusting? i don’t know. i want you to be happy too, pare, and i’m gonna, like, get over this. it wasn’t any deep to begin with, thank fuck.”

 

migs closed his eyes briefly as he listened and digested gabby’s word. _deep_ with gabby meant all in, head first, but _not deep_ with gabby still meant pretty fucking deep, for the average person. 

 

“i want you to be happy too, gabs,” sabi ni migs.

 

“but you want to be with kyungsoo too,” ang sagot ni gabs. “don’t worry, man. _bros before hoes_ is overrated. be happy. have sex. have dates. get married.”

 

natawa si migs. “gago, wala pa sa get married stage.”

 

gabby wiggled his eyebrows and said with sly voice, “ _pa. wala pa!_ you’re going to get there too. tangina mo. i better be the best man. i let you have make up sex in my condo.”

 

“gago, no,” migs defended. “we didn’t have sex in your condo.” 

 

he had never even have sex with kyungsoo—they’ve never even made out—but he was not telling gabby that. his and kyungsoo’s pace was slow as fuck but migs loved it. the scenery was beautiful and shit. 

 

“eh,” gabby lifted a shoulder. “in my condo, in your car, in the bedroom. sex is sex. we’re fine, dude. i kinda missed hanging out with you and your boyfriend anyway. friendship first, or something.”

 

migs smiled. “i kinda missed hanging out with you too—even if your face is ugly and annoying.”

 

“duuude,” sabi ni gabby, punching migs at his bicep. “this ugly and annoying face almost scored with your cute boyfriend so respect.”

 

migs frowned and said, “ _tus_ , gago.”

 

natawa si gabby. “sorry but the best thing about all this is that i can make jokes about it.”

 

migs knew that making fun of something, even if that was himself—especially if that was himself—would help gabby move on. 

 

suddenly, gabby’s face turned serious again. “but are we good, migs? like, on your end?”

 

migs nodded. “yeah, gabs. we’re good. no hard feelings. kyungsoo’s good with everything, too. he wanted to say sorry.”

 

“nah,” gabby said. “nothing to be sorry about. someone told me that you shouldn’t feel sorry for not returning another person’s feelings.”

 

migs’ eyebrows rose and gabby got the hint, sheepishly admitting, “i may or may not poured all my feelings by rapping cold on music 22.”

 

the shorter man made a face. “kanye and dj khaled? the one with the kim k. lyrics? tangina, kadiri ka.”

 

“shut up,” sabi ni gabby. “my heart needed healing.”

 

migs rolled his eyes before he paused. _wait_. if gabby went to go karaoke and he was not with migs and/or kyungsoo, then he was with—

 

“you hohol-ed with b?” he made a face. he did not like baekhyun b. byun that much, mostly because the b in his name stood for bitch.

 

and _breaker of hearts_. migs was speaking from gabby’s experience of course. that was a pretty messy affair years ago. b was the first chance, the chance that rejected gabby park straight up and cold-hearted. migs was probably just being petty at this point but whatever he’s gabby’s best friend.

 

“yeah. a lot of shit happened. puta. i didn’t have anyone to talk to—” migs’ face fell down and gabby held up his hand. “—wait. sorry, didn’t mean to guilt trip and shit. but anyway, b confessed to me.”

 

migs’ eyes widened. he almost didn’t catch it because of the way that gabby practically rushed the words out but he did and he was—

 

“b did?!” migs was confused. wasn’t gabby rejected years ago? weren’t they fuck buddies now, strictly?”

 

“yeah,” gabby replied. “i said no though. or at least…” he trailed off. migs got it. it was not a _no—_ it was a _not yet._

 

before makapag-offer ng advice si migs, there was a knock sa door and a voice of an old woman saying, “ser megs, yung sasakyan niyo daw po nakaharang. pinapatanggal po.”

 

“oh fuck,” sabi ni migs. he really did not mean to stay any longer than a few minutes but FIFA happened and then their conversation.

 

“sige po, manang,” sagot niya. gabby stood up too and the two of them walked outside.

 

“alis ka na?” tanong ni gabby as he held the gate open for migs.

 

“yeah, dude. i—” he paused before he went to his car. he opened the passenger’s seat and grabbed the paper bag on top. he handed it to gabby who peeked inside. his eyes widened.

 

“are you buying my forgiveness?” gabs joked.

 

migs shrugged, “is it working?”

 

“nothing to forgive, miggyboy,” sabi ni gabby with a large grin. he pulled the cristiano ronaldo juventus jersey out of the bag and held it up. “but thanks for this. i don’t have anything to buy your forgiveness though.”

 

migs heard the teasing tone but he also heard the underlying insecurity from the statement. it was an echo of their conversation upstairs. this was gabby making sure that everything was fine.

 

the shorter male smiled and replied as well, “nothing to forgive, gago—even if your football teams suck.”

 

gabby laughed and he all but pushed migs away from him. migs laughed as he went around, sitting in the driver’s seat. he turned the ignition on and drove away, feeling as light as he had been.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

migs paused at a stoplight and he picked up his phone, going to his and gabby’s texts. 

 

**migs** : thanks kuya :)

 

he didn’t wait for the reply. the light was already green.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_as migs’ coupe streaked through the road, he knew that what was well would remain well and what was not would be, eventually_. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

mga one week na rin na meron ng pasok. the only light sa metaphorical storm that was gabby’s life going down hill was the fact that he and kyungsoo remained friends—good friends. he still —gabby still looked at kyungsoo the same way, not the way migs would look at kyungsoo or vice versa, but a small part of him would always feel… fond? attracted? happy?

 

it was hard not to. kyungsoo was just so bright and happy with his weird ass music and TV show choices and his corny as fuck jokes and dry humor. gabby rolled with everything like he would, with a ‘call me’ hand sign waving up and down. migs did not point out how gabby would dote on the smaller male but gabby did assure his best friend that he was doing it without malice. migs gave him an eye roll and told him the explanation was not necessary but gabby caught the sigh of relief. he did not point it out though—best friend solidarity and all that.

 

he was classmates with sehun andrei and, well, that was a whole new shit to unpack. he had not talked to b after the confrontation but they were still liking and retweeting each other’s tweets and liking instagram posts and viewing each others’ stories so at least, hindi pa nila na-cut off ang each other sa social media. 

 

that was the ultimate sign na tapos na ang friendship in the 21st century. 

 

gabby strolled inside starrs na close to the school kasi kyungsoo declared that he was finally over whatever diet he was on. migs looked happy at that and offered na i-libre si kyungsoo sa starrs. gabby was just tagging along kasi gusto niya ng mini corndogs. 

 

“ey, wassup,” sabi niya as he went in. ang sikip ng starrs and their table was tiny. gabby’s knees kept on bumping against migs and migs, of course, kept on retaliating. kyungsoo was on the counter placing all their orders.

 

pagbalik ni kyungsoo, gabby almost snickered kasi ang bait bigla ni miggyboy. yung tuhod, kahit na nakamanspread, hindi na dumadagdag sa sikip sa ilalim ng table. he placed his arm around doon sa seat ng kyungsoo before scooting closer.

 

“thanks, babe,” sabi ni migs before placing a kiss sa cheek ni kyungsoo—or well, trying to. kyungsoo leaned sideways and held his palm up so that was where migs’ lips landed. natawa si gabby and while a small part of him was jealous (envious?), he really liked to see the wild smile on migs’ face and the heart-shaped one on kyungsoo. seeing kyungsoo happy was nice too, really nice, and gabby tapped the table twice, just to be a little shit.

 

“tangina, kadiri kayo,” he said with an eye roll. kyungsoo flushed red and migs just shrugged as if saying _what can you do_?

 

last gabby heard, his two friends were still in a relationship limbo. migs was, like, a boyfriend but not really a boyfriend, you know? gabby figured that kyungsoo was probably just making migs work for it and migs was, well… migs enjoyed being worked, if kyungsoo was that one doing it. 

 

a friend of theirs had already pointed out and called migs out, saying he was ‘getting whipped’, and all migs could answer was a proud smile and a _yes, it’s amazing_. everyone was freaked out by that because one, migs rarely smiled that big—he had a resting disgusted and judgmental face—and two, _yeah_ , that really just came out of jongin miguel’s mouth.

 

their milkshakes and snacks arrived and kyungsoo picked a tiny corndog and dipped it sa ketchup. migs slurped his yogurt based shake that gabby made a face at. siya rin ay kumuha ng corndog for himself before kyungsoo spoke up, holding his half eaten corndog sa isang hand.

 

“by the way, gabs,” he said. he pushed his glasses up his nose witht the back of his wrist. “alam mo ba na i’m classmates with b on my elective?”

 

gabby tried to hold it off—he really did—but he ended up choking on his corndog bite. migs pushed his own milkshake (banana flavored base with candied walnuts and cookie dough, customized because he was an intellectual with his own sophisticated tastebuds) and gabby took a sip of the cold dessert. 

 

“you are?” he almost spluttered after he held off dying. 

 

was that awkward? since he and b were not talking, haven’t talked, he did not know about the other man being kyungsoo’s classmates. b probably did not make it awkward though and gabby was not sure if kyungsoo knew about the b confessing thing. migs would have told him, probably, and gabby would not exactly mind but still… _awks_. 

 

“yup,” kyungsoo said. “i forgot to tell you. i told migs though, i sort of just assumed he told you also.”

 

gabby shot migs a glare kasi of course, hindi sinabi ni migs sa kanya. migs shrugged like the asshole he really was and smirked.

 

“why? should i?” sabi ni migs but it was more directed to gabby than to kyungsoo because of the tone. migs would all turn soft and gooey and heart eyes if he was talking to kyungsoo. 

 

“gago ka talaga,” sabi ni gabby. 

 

“why?” asked kyungsoo. _ah,_ gabby noted. so hindi sinabi ni migs. “miggy didn’t really like b, for some reason. but i thought na he would tell you.”

 

migs snorted. gabby knew why migs disliked baekhyun but even he thought that migs was taking the vendetta too far.

 

“i didn’t tell him,” migs—miggy, amputa—explained. “because gabs and baekhyun b. byun are not talking.”

 

kyungsoo’s right eyebrow lifted as he bit into the remaining half of his corndog. “really? bakit naman?”

 

“because—” migs paused. “just because.”

 

gabby snorted. migs probably had no idea how to explain. as kyungsoo’s sort of boyfriend, he figured it was a little hard to say _they were not talking because b confessed to gabby and gabby rejected him because he still was not sure about his own feelings over b after b rejected him two years ago and you rejected him for me when he thought you could be his second chance at love_. 

 

gabby paused—huh. his life was pretty shitty, like a B-rated teleserye being shown during the afternnoon because it was not good enough for primetime. his ate yoora loved those; gabby was just a victim of being dragged into marathons. 

 

“long story short,” gabby said, interjecting. “b confessed to me two years ago and rejected me then he confessed to me now and i rejected him.”

 

_kind of_. gabby did not exactly reject him. gabby was selfish and asked b to do what he had not done two years ago.

 

kyungsoo’s eyes bugged even more out of their sockets.

 

“seryoso?”

 

“seryoso.” both migs and gabby said simultaenously. kyungsoo stared at gabby’s face for a second or two before he shook his head.

 

“ang gago naman,” sabi niya. “ano ‘to? daisy siete?”

 

migs and gabby snorted ulit na sabay. they knew what daisy siete was, no thanks to kyungsoo himself. 

 

“so you’re avoiding him?” dagdag na tanong ni kyungsoo. “or is he avoiding you?”

 

“we’re sort of just avoiding each other. no drama. classmate ko best friend niya—sehun andrei—and trust me, kyungsoo, tangina. dude has it in for me, always glaring and shit.”

 

nagnod si kyungsoo, muttering, “b was kind to me naman.”

 

“that’s because you’re you,” migs said with a, frankly in gabby’s opinion, a stupid expression. as if he wasn’t about to puke out, migs added, “you didn’t do anything. tanga si b and si gabby and hindi fault na negative ang IQ nila.”

 

“hey!” gabby protested before he took a sip. he did not add another comment though because migs was pretty right. migs was always right, that fucker. 

 

“wait.” kyungsoo held a palm up. “‘di ba fubus kayo?” he lowered his voice pa sa word na _fubus_ like the true conservative goodie two shoes that he was.

 

“ _were_ ,” answer ni gabby. “hindi na kami fubus.” he did not bother lowering his volume. whatever. sexual liberation and all that. also, wala namang tao except doon sa isang babae na nagrereview sa high table and agressively highlighting her reading. 

 

“really?” this time, si migs naman ang nagtaas ng kilay. “i thought you both were stupid enough to continue being fuck buddies. you _were_ stupid enough to do that two years ago.”

 

gabby rolled his eyes and kyungsoo turned to migs. migs mouthed a _later_ to kyungsoo as gabby took another corndog. ang sarap talaga. favorite. 

 

he lifted one shoulder before he answered, “well, lucky ako, i guess. kasi mas matalino si b compared to me.”

 

“but you really should talk to baekhyun, gabby,” kyungsoo said. he turned to migs and added, “right, miggy?”

 

miggy, the gago, nodded. of course he would. he was always agreeing with kyungsoo anyway. 

 

“not yet,” he said. to be fair, there were a lot of things he wanted to tell baekhyun. a lot of apologies and explanation. a lot of— _feelings_. 

 

but gabby was, well. gabby was a coward on top of being an idiot. 

 

“i’ll think about it,” he said.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

gabby did not lie. he really did think about. he did a lot of thinking--lying down, playing FIFA, eating, cleaning his condo. he had almost sent a bunch of texts asking baekhyun to talk in various manners but he held it off, telling himself to wait. b was still liking the football related tweets he would make and he liked that picture of gabby in the gym so, yes. b was not mad at him.

 

what drove it really home was kyungsoo telling gabby to just fuck it and talk to b because apparently, it was unfair that baekhyun was left hanging around. like gabby was jerking him in a bind, stringing him along to his whims.

 

gabby’s stomach knotted at that because that was—that was fucking true and kyungsoo did not even know how much. he remembered what he had told b in the middle of the darkness, solid arms wrapped around his friend’s solid body.

 

so he was now erasing and typing and erasing and typing a text message to b. he figured he would not need a speech for their talk—just be natural. with b, it was always comfortable and easy and warm and familiar and all the good things that would come with knowing someone so intimitely for four years, more or less.

 

**gabby** : hey b

**gabby** : sorry for being MIA on u

**gabby** : can we talk? i have a lot of things i wanna say

 

shit. did that sound too much asshole-y and demanding? gabby wanted to text back an apology but b was a quick texter. he sent a first message before the typing icon appeared again.

 

**b** : yea me too

**b** : where do u wanna meet ??

 

gabby considered it. he did not want to talk at some public place, sitting down at a restaurant or drinking alcohol at some chill bar. 

 

**gabby** : u can come have dinner @ my place

**gabby** : i can make dinner for us

**gabby** : n im trying my hand at baking

 

that part was true, at least. gabby was chanelling all the thinking into baking too. kyungsoo was the one who introduced him to it, even going as far as roping him and migs into a _baking cook-off_. kyungsoo won, of course, because at this point, migs’ tastebuds were probably programmed to pick kyungsoo’s food. gabby pouted about it but he was glad that everything was going back to normal. 

 

_he_ was going back to normal, and the dull ache in his chest—the jealousy and the envy—was turning into warmth. kyungsoo would probably always have a special place in gabby’s. not quite like a regretful almost, or _maybe-almost?_ , and not quite the same special like migs was, but gabby did not think he was a bad person for it. it was a good kind of fondness, the pure kind. he had different kinds of affection for different people. 

 

it’s okay—gabby had a pretty big heart, anyway. 

 

the reply from b came with a vibration and this, too—baekhyun, too, held a different special place in him.

 

**b** : hehe baking

**b** : baeking ;)

 

 

gabby snorted. as expected of baekhyun, he thought. another text came from the smaller male and gabby looked at the message, wondering what baekhyun was thinking.

 

**b** : can i drop by today? for dinner???

**b** : or too soon

 

gabby knew there was only one way to go about this.

 

**gabby** : naahhh

**gabby** : let’s have dinner today. be here at 7:30? and dress nice!!!!

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

so gabby spent most of the day fixing his condo. he cleaned everywhere which was one, weird, because b had seen his condo dirty. he went and dropped by at the nearest supermarket to buy the ingredients he needed that were not in his pantry.

 

he went and cooked the dessert first because the sour cream cupcakes needed to cool down. he timed everything up to finish the baked salmon dish because fish was cheaper than getting beef or lamb and you can only do so much with pork ten minutes before b arrived. he left that alone and prepared a california couscous salad, adding more mangoes kasi they were b’s favorite and putting less red onion because b hated eating them raw. he made bacon wrapped asparagus too and put that sa oven.

 

gabby went ahead to clean himself up naman. he was not saying he was being papogi, not really, pero he wanted to be presentable. he was not about to welcome b looking like he spent the afternoon steaming around in the kitchen. 

 

he dressed up in a maroon button down tucked into a pair of tight slacks. he was not wearing shoes kasi bawal yun inside but he pulled his hair in a low ponytail and put on some perfume. just as gabby was finished and inspecting himself sa mirror when the doorbell rings.

 

“yeah. yeah,” he called out. he went and opened the front door, not bothering to look through the peep hole. the wood swung open to b standing in front of him, chin tilted up. he raised a bottle of cheap white wine that gabby took. 

 

“hey,” b greeted. gabby’s eyes were drawn to the navy blue slacks that b was wearing and the tight white button down that fit on the strength of his wide shoulders, and on his core that gabby knew was taut and built. 

 

“gabby, good evening,” b repeated with amusement.

 

“oh shit,” gabby said. he stepped back with an embarrassed smile and b went inside the condo. gabby took the bottle of white wine and gestured for b to sit sa dining table.

 

“is this a date?” b joked. gabby froze up in the middle of making a makeshift ice bucket, though malamig pa yung wine, surprisingly. 

 

gabby pushed the bottle into the ice bath and replied, “do you want it to be?” he glanced back at baekhyun who was not sitting on the dining room table but the couch. 

 

b shook his head and smiled. “no. not really.”

 

gabby did not realize the breath he was holding but his shoulders relaxed and he said, “okay. this isn’t a date.” he bit at the _not yet_ because that would be a shitty thing to say, not when gabby still had not said the things he wanted to.

 

he pulled everything up and and put them in serving bowls. b was determinedly being a brat and being of no help so gabby just rolled his eyes. he was putting the food sa dining table when be snorted.

 

“gabs,” he said wryly. “two years tayong fubu and hindi natin nagamit ang dining table mo at least once.”

 

he gave a nod doon sa coffee table where, frankly, they would both eat. uupo sila sa floor and the coffee table would be their dining table. sometimes they would sit beside each other. sometimes, across. it was a pain in the back, but it was better than the hell table that was just way too tight. 

 

nilagay ni gabby lahat ng food and wala siyang wine glass sa condo niiya, for some reason, so he pulled out regular glasses to serve the white wine in. this was still b, despite what happened, and b would drink alcohol out of cartoon printed mugs. 

 

“nice,” b said as he looked at the food. 

 

gabby served for the both of them while b poured the white wine. they made small talk and it was pleasant, like how it was always supposed to be with baekhyun.

 

but gabby did not want what _was always supposed to be,_ that was the entire point of this. he wanted something that did not have them stuck at some mess of a relationship.

 

when their dinner was cleared and chanyeol gabriel was piping down cream cheese frosting on top of the sour cream cupcakes and adding slices of fresh strawberry on top, b coughed.

 

yung type na ubo na hindi talaga sakit. sobrang fake. gabby could not help but smile as he placed the plate of cupcakes down sa coffee table. they still had some wine left and alak went well with anything, if you’re in uni. 

 

b grabbed one and he moaned. “ang sarap, gago. kailan ka pa natuto magbake?” he asked jokingly.

 

“recently lang ‘cause of kyungsoo,” gabby answered easily before he paused.

 

_ah shit_. there it was, the opening for the conversation that they needed to have. 

 

baekhyun stopped too and it would have been comical, the way his mouth paused chewing. he resumed it slowly and did not speak until maubos yung cupcake niya.

 

“you’re good with kyungsoo?” b asked and then added, “and migs also?”

 

“yeah—” gabby fiddled, rubbing the space between his index finger and his thumb. “we’re all good.”

 

“and us?” b asked. “are we good?”

 

“we are, b,” gabby said, insisted.

 

“eh bakit 'di mo ko kinausap for a week?” there was slight bitterness sa boses ni b and gabby sighed.

 

“ikaw din naman,” gabs said. “it takes two people not to talk.”

 

“true,” baekhyun shrugged. “if we’re good, then what are we here to talk about?”

 

“i wanted to—say sorry.”

 

“about what?” baekhyun replied. “i told you naman na hindi ka dapat magsorry kasi hindi mo ako mahal, the same way na mahal kita.”

 

“i know but after,” gabby made a small noise. “i asked you to—to wait.”

 

“yes, you did.”

 

“are you?” gabby asked. “waiting?”

 

baekhyun lifted one shoulder. “i am. i am not. i'm in love with you, gabby, but i’m not pining for you. there’s a difference.”

 

there was, gabby knew. when gabby was rejected two years ago, he went on the ugliest bender before migs himself intervened. being young and stupid, he decided that if b wanted a fuck buddy then gabby would be just that. sex was good even if gabby had feelings for baekhyun. 

 

it was easy to love baekhyun after that—as a friend, as a confidante, as someone that gabby could not have. and before long, he almost forget that he loved by like a lover. munich helped, being around a new place and a new country. he grew his hair, got the tattoo he waited two years for.

 

it was pretty ironic, gabby remembered thinking. becausse the first time he did not wait two years for, he was rejected.

 

it had been two years now and gabby wondered if the feelings were completely gone or of they were just—idle. sleeping. buried underneath all the other types of love he had for baekhyun. 

 

gabby did not realize how long of a pause that was before he answered, “i know. i know the difference.”

 

baekhyun made a pained noise and he seemed like he wanted to say something but gabby waved him off with a smile. 

 

“it’s fine. that’s what got us here in the first place.” he tlted his head to the side and he momentarily felt regret that he tied his hair because he could not fiddle with it. he settled for clenching his fist on top of his lap before continuing.

 

“and i’m sorry for—you know? being selfish and asking you to wait. demanding you to wait,” gabby said.

 

b smiled and he heard him laugh. “ang yabang mo naman,” b remarked with a joke. “i wouldn’t do anything that i didn’t want to do. and besides…”

 

baekhyun shrugged. gabby raised an eyebrow.

 

“besides, it’s not like i could tell myself to turn my feelings off, you know?”

 

gabby nodded. that, too, he knew of the feeling.

 

_shit._ hindi alam ni gabby kung anong meron. maybe it was b’s words, or all their memories. or maybe it was just —

 

maybe it was just b.

 

he felt his eyes going warm and gabby pressed the heel of his palm. 

 

“fuck, b.” gabby groaned. b was still looking at him as gabby wiped the wetness on his eyes. “i know i’m selfish. i know that’s selfish of me but—” 

 

chanyeol took a deep breath.

 

“i feel like this is another chance. baekhyun, two years ago, when you said no, i didn’t fight for that one chance—”

 

“gabby,” b said, broken. ah fuck. now baekhyun looked like he was about to cry too but b had always been stronger than gabby so he could hold his tears better.

 

“that was probably my biggest regret,” gabby admitted. it was his first time to say it and somehow, it felt like the tears coming out of his eyes. it felt like being free, and being honest. “i didn’t fight for you. i didn’t fight for us, b.”

 

“what if…” b paused. he was looking at gabby’s face now, expression searching. they were sitting sa couch, facing each other. baekhyun’s hand was also clenched on top of his lap. gabby wondered if he was holding himself back from intertwining their fingers. gabby was.

 

“what if this is _it_? what if last chance na pala ‘to?”

 

gabby took a deep breath and—he had thought of that. he had thought of that many times. 

 

“then baka hindi talaga pwede. hindi talaga dapat.” he gave a slow, sad smile. “this is me, gambling, b. minahal kita—mahal kita. mahal kita in many ways pero loving you the same way you love me now is a foreign concept. i taught myself not to, two years ago, but please, let me unlearn that. let me forgive a lot of things.”

 

“but what if you do—fall in love with me again,” b said slowly. he sounded like he was saying his last words. “what if mahal mo na ko tapos hindi na kita mahal?”

 

“then that’s my pain to bear, b. just don’t hold yourself back from anything. i think you have to do a lot of forgiving too and if you want to move forward without me, then that’s fine.”

 

gabby stoped and considered his words next. it was—it took him many moments to finally make sense of his thoughts. in his questions, there was only one answer. tama ang favorite song ni baekhyun. maraming kailangan na daanan si gabby, maraming dapat matutunan, at maraming dapat patawarin. 

 

but the map that was his heart, no matter how long it would take, would always have baekhyun in it. maybe baekhyun would really be the one that got away—twice over. the first time, chanyeol was rejected. the second time, he did that rejecting. 

 

“i’ll just run after you until we meet somewhere,” gabby added with a smile. 

 

gabby took a deep breath again and wiped the tears leaking out of his eyes. they finally stopped trailing down and he wiped his cheeks. baekhyun, too, smiled at him, like a slow realization.

 

something in gabby’s gut stirred. something warm and comfortable and familiar. and then another, one that was small but it felt like it was growing, or coming out of the surface. maybe the love for a lover was still dead, slowly waking up from a deep sleep.

 

“ano ba ‘yan?” baekhyun said. he reached his hand and covered what he could of gabby’s clenched fist. “lagi na lang kitang pinapaiyak.”

 

the taller man felt himself relax under one smile touch. natawa si gabby sa sinabi ni baekhyun and he felt his smile widen a tad bit, felt the way his right cheek lifted up more than the other because his grin was crooked.

 

“alam mo? you were right eh,” gabby replied mirthfully. he uncurled his fist and turned his hand around. he lifted baekhyun’s hand that was on top of his palm. gabby turned his a little so that their fingers were aligned. their hands were different in every manner that gabby could count and define.

 

“about what?” b said. 

 

gabby was looking at baekhyun. baekhyun was looking at their hands, palm to palm and finger to finger.

 

“bakit ba kasi hindi mo ‘ko sinagot nung nagtanong ako?”

 

baekhyun stopped for a moment before his eyes lifted from their hands and then to gabby’s face. gabby watched the slow smile and the shake of a head in amusement. baekhyun curled his fingers and he placed them between the spaces of gabby’s. gabby tightened the hold himself. 

 

their fingers fitted together and it felt like gold spilling into porcelain cracks, turning what was once broken into a masterpiece.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_and that really, is the beginning, not the end. but whatever happens on the next day, and the next, and the next, gabby and b will always have this one moment when they reach somewhere, finally meeting._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_end._ **


	16. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some stories never really end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and this is the last chapter!

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_a few months after that, kamusta na nga ba ang matangkad, matalino, at medyo gago nating bida_?

 

migs was cupping one ass cheek with his palm because yes, he could. yes, he was allowed. mas masarap talaga ang lahat kapag finally, boyfriend ka na.

 

“babe,” reklamo niya. kyungsoo was lying on top of him and one of migs’ hand was on kyungsoo’s ass because as he would like to reiterate, kyungsoo allowed him. kyungsoo wanted it. kyungsoo was finally his boyfriend.

 

“what?” tanong ni kyungsoo. he was still staring at the TV sa condo ni migs that had netflix on. migs tapped kyungsoo’s ass and chuckled when it bounced.

 

“miggy! stop!” kyungsoo yelped. he did not move away though nor did he tell migs to remove his hand. he was not that pissed. 

 

migs cupped the underside of kyungsoo’s ass cheek before placing a kiss on kyungsoo’s ear. it was a hard angle to reach but whatever, migs had another _hard_ thing and that had nothing to do with shitty angles.

 

he hitched kyungsoo’s boxers up and rubbed circles around the soft skin. kyungsoo raised himself and migs prepared himself for a scolding. instead, he got kyungsoo’s lips against his.

 

migs made a pleased noise. so maybe it was his lucky day today. the couch was a tight fit and it would be better to do this in bed but he was nothing if not an expert. migs raised himself a little bit for better angle and kyungsoo slipped down, wiggling around so he was stradling one of migs’ thigh.

 

jongin slipped inside kyungsoo’s warm mouth and he licked behind kyungsoo’s teeth, danced with kyungsoo’s tongue. kyungsoo moaned at the kiss and he too started moving his tongue around along with his lips. migs took a breath from his nose but kyungsoo broke the kiss a little too soon.

 

he took migs’ bottom lip between his teeth, moving away and dragging the lip. kyungsoo’s teeth scraped the back of migs’ bottom lip lightly before he plopped down again and turned back towards the TV.

 

“soo, baby.” migs would like to say that he did not whine. he had more dignity than that. but the truth was, fuck, dignity. dignity would not make out with him—kyungsoo would.

 

“shut up,” kyungsoo whispered back, attention focused on the TV. “this is my dream come true.”

 

“i’m your dream come true,” migs grumbled.

 

“maybe,” kyungsoo said. he raised his head a little bit so he could look at migs’ put upon face before he smirked playfully, pecking migs’ lips shortly. “but you’re not daisy siete on netflix.”

 

migs rolled his eyes as he tried to sleep. yes, daisy siete is finally on netflix and all miggy could do was thank god that kyungsoo was still talking to him, now that he got a million seasons to finish.

 

he gave his kyungsoo’s ass another slap though because miggy could. miggy was allowed. miggy was finally— _finally_ —kyungsoo’s boyfriend, in case anyone forgot.

 

 

* * *

 

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_mukhang masaya naman si migs at mukhang masaya rin si kyungsoo—lalo na at meron ng daisy siete sa netflix. parang tapos na ang kwento nilang dalawa. or, well, nagsisimula na sila._

 

_pero paano naman kaya ang sidekick na si gabby? kamusta na kaya ang tall, long-haired borta ng ateneo de manila?_

 

_ayun. sirang sira. sa lahat ng 3 Ps na winarak niya, never niyang naisip na 3 Ps niya pala ang isusunod ni tadhana—puso, puso, at puso ulit. in football terms, hat-trick for gabby park, man of the match!_

 

_…_

 

_or well, ayan siguro ang akala ng lahat. but the truth is, hindi pa rito ito natatapos. nagsisimula pa lang ang kwento niya. with time and healing, ang side kick naman ni migs ang maging bida._

 

gabby hesitated before he walked inside. the space seemed foreign to him now because this was the first time in a long while. it smelled the same though and the person on the counter was familiar.

 

she smiled at gabby before she tilted his head. she gasped.

 

“gabby park?” she asked.

 

gabby ducked his head down, sheepish and shy. he gave a small smile to the woman as she quickly exited behind the counter to look up at gabby. 

 

“tumangkad ka ba?” she asked. 

 

gabby nodded kahit na the last time he had measured his height was freshman year, for a medical that he had to do. 

 

“are you buying something?” the woman asked. “ang tagal mong hindi bumalik dito ah! ikaw pa naman favorite regular ko—laging isa lang ang order mo eh.” natawa ng slight yung babae before she turned her twinkling eyes kay gabby. “anong nangyari sa nililigawan mo? kayo na ba?”

 

she even nudged gabs at the outside of his arm.

 

gabby snorted and shook his head. “hindi po.”

 

nagpause yung babae before she gave a disappointed coo. “sorry, gabby. you really liked that person pa naman. ang dami kong profit sa dalas ng pag-order mo eh.”

 

natawa si gabby. 

 

“but you’re here!” the woman clapped. “which hopefully meant you’re looking for flower bouquets for a special person?”

 

gabby nodded as he looked at the displays of red roses. they look bright and beautiful. he knew they were kyungsoo’s favorites from the amount migs would order but he also liked other flowers—mostly because kyungsoo himself just liked bouquets in general. 

 

but he was not here for roses.

 

“okay. sige,” the woman nodded to herself, fierce and determined. “hayaan mo na. you can have a fresh start now. what bouquet? i’ll give you the best flowers na meron ako dito.”

 

gabby’s eyes went to the display on the right and the woman’s eyes widened. she looked like she wanted to ask gabs a question. gabby turned to her with a polite smile and happily gave her his order—an order that answered what the woman wanted to ask.

 

_“one dozen of sunflowers, please.”_

 

 

**

 

 

MALUMANAY NA MALE NARRATOR VOICE

_one thing na pinaniniwalaan ni gabby is the fact na bago ka gumawa ng life changing decision, you have to wait two years muna. wait and see kung after two years, gusto mo pa rin ito—kung gusto mo pa rin… siya?_

 

_what comes around, goes around. kung natapos ang kwento ni gabby and b bago pa man ito magsimula that summer, before sophomore year, magsisimula ulit ito this summer, after graduation._

 

_gabby does not do things by halves. he does not just want want a second chance. he wants a do-over, a restart._

 

_set under the hot glare of the sun, the humid days punctuated with bygone loves, and the buzzing metro manila traffic, meet chanyeol gabriel park again—and what he has to say about heart breaks and moving forward—in:_

 

**_the gospel according to gabby park_ **

 

_coming soon._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **[yel voice] and that's when we realize that fuckboys are human beings too.**
> 
> ANYWAY
> 
> first of all, yay! hurray to me for finishing this story with 127k words????? like where did those come from????
> 
> second of all, i wanna thank everyone for the support and all the comments because wow?!???! and the CCs?!??!?! wow.... this is now my LONGEST fic ever and hehe i'm proud that my precious hearts debut is so well received lmao
> 
> i'm not really the type to be all cheesy and stuff so this won't be long. as last reminder, i want to reiterate that the fic is not an accurate representation of reality. be smart. be responsible. 
> 
> i have some more stories planned for this verse, alongside the gabby park sequel, but for now, let's just try to enjoy what we have. i hope you stay with me in the future too hehe
> 
> ciao!

**Author's Note:**

> oh ano mga bakla, READY NA BA KAYO


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